₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Aeion, because I generally like your take on topic/issues I will respond to your comment on this. Bjprodint is not out of line with what she said. I have seen this happen with 2 people I know.

Both men, ran 3 tests at 3 different hospitals to verify and confirm, they weren't hallucinating and that their new genotype results of AA wasn't a hoax.They had the before and after test results.

One guy's case was the result of prayers by the woman he wanted to marry but was forced to break off his engagement with her because of their AS status. They got married eventually and it's been 14 yrs of marriage.

I like to think God chose to alter his genotype and not his wife's, because he was a very cynical person and a doubting Thomas. It was God's way of showing him I am real, you can look up to me. The other guy was as a result of holy communion emblems he took. Hard to believe but test results don't lie.

The problem with us (humans) is that we've become so educated, we think we are wiser than God and our education causes us to struggle with simply accepting that His ways are beyond us and He still works in mysterious ways.

DON'T BE FOOLED BY THIS COMMENT TOO.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

Even the same bible said wisdom is profitable to direct. Is like saying drink sniper, God will help you. And quoting if you drink any deadly thing it will not harm you.

.

Majority blaming the guy without suggesting the way out. We all know the pressure ignorant family members who will not be there for you when the problem sets in will bring to bear on you on issues like this, taking care of an SS child nor be moimio o, no peace, no happiness and it has no ending unless ..... God forbid. Pray and wait for the unborn baby, brase up, take it or leave it you both are on this together show love and be a caring father to be. After this ask questions there are ways to go around it and you will be happier. Good luck and God bless.

Vyzz:
Brother let me tell u the hard truth....


U guys should abort the baby.....





Then start adopting...


There is nothing wrong with adoption..


I have a cousin who is SS and he blames the parents...


Pls I am begging u for the sake of the kids...


U don't really have to divorce..


Here u can keep ur marriage and have kids

i agree with this, better to adopt if u love her too much to leave her but kind u this is africa and they tend to look at adoption with impotence being the reason and its not cool being mocked daily

AristocraticMe:
Keep which statement close to heart..... those were statements made in the heat of the moment. The Op did not act well

Believe me, marriage has several, "heats of the moments". Anyone who can make such a statement in one matter can repeat it in another.

You can do amniocentesis test to know if d baby has sickle cell anaemia or not but I think it's too late cos d test should be carried out at 15-18 weeks. Well may God heal your marriage.

Hmm.... You see this threat of a thing is what has made me lose interest now as I'm equally facing the same ish in courtship. In fact, every convo now is more of argument at this stage o.

Op, I've learnt from this your post. In fact I'm done biko.

Why threaten someone because they refused to continue in a courtship for genuine reason? Hmm...

Op, you had the opportunity to opt out before now but you didn't. Just stick with her and support her at this time. She really needs you. And maybe you guys stop at one. I pray this one will be AA.

May God rekindle your love for each other.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

You think divorce is easy to get?

Better find how you will work with your wife and smoothen your relationship. As old as you are and in theis century, you did not think genotype was a serious thing. What is wrong with some of you?

The best you can secure is separation. You cannot even file for divorce in a marriage that is less than 2 years old.

You clearly have not done your research on that one too.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

God didn't do shît, your course mate was probably AA b4. Maybe one lab test had an error it came out ss.

kentoski:
Eiyaa, how are you managing? Things out of our control, but God got us shaa.

For the poster, it may be true she misheard, or maybe she did hear right...cos the trend of people giving half-true or even false testimonies in churches is becoming rampant and worrisome.

He came out AS and his younger brother healthy. The doctor advised us to stop giving birth.

KanwuliaExtra:
Please, there is nothing to be unhappy about. When you choose to be with someone, there are no inconveniences. You work through your problems together and build a formidable network of coping mechanisms.

Life always throws curve balls. I always welcome the challenges and try to deal with them as positively as possible. Yeah, it will be tough, but I don’t think I would want to be with anybody else, because I CHOSE to be WITH YOU.

You are frankly not ready for a relationship, not to mention marriage. The only reason you feel unhappy is that you are SELFISH and you lack INTEGRITY!

You are doomed to be unhappy in any relationship or marriage you get into anyhooooo. People like you always see the imperfections in others, while turning a blind eye to their own MEGA-FAULTS.

You lack resolve and will quit when the going gets tough. Are you the “GOD” that created people?

If you can’t accept your situation, please man up and leave the relationship. Hopefully, the next marriage won’t have BARRENNESS, HIV or CORONA as your excuse to be unhappy.

Shior!

So what exactly did u say now. Someone will ask u for advice instead u will insult the person without giving any meaningful n useful advice. Most of u are just men haters.

Horlubunmmy:
Both of you should repeat the test in a reputable diagnosis center again.
Repeat again in general hospital.

You can do it in five to seven places, don't accept your first result.

okay o, so the sicklers haven't been born they have already started wasting money on tests or you think genotype test is 1k naira abi even in this corona recession time or maybe u mist the part where he stated his job as a teacher or because he mentioned govt teacher u assumed he should have all the money to throw around on illness instead of planning other things to better his life standards.

Louisboy22:
like how much?

Could cost between N800,000 - N1.2M.

Fountainofyouth:
The doctor is right, I don't blame you both for the mixed feelings you're having presently, but which one is she "thinks" she was pregnant before the marriage? You that she told, can't you take her to the hospital to check if it's 100% positive or negative? Which kind yeye excuse is this? Which one is "she was in love"? Were you not in love with her too? This one you are using "was", the love don fade for una eyes right? Nawa o.

Na so e de happen naw

Obidosie onato, I love you, I love you (onye mazikwanu mgbe oga esunu)..that's flavour's song..like e de sweet when e start

Love isn't enough for marriage, that's the truth...love fades if the foundation like this one is shaky

Poor people and their mentality. You made a decision and now you're crying over spilled beans....MAN UP! You never loved this woman, if you did you would not want to bail at the first sign of trouble, you're a coward and unfit to be called a man. You married an AS for goodness sake not an SS, there are test now that can be done to know the genotype of the baby before birth so you can know whether to continue or abort. Life is much simpler now than living it as a COWARD! People spend 300k to 500k on useless things, if you can't spend the same to give you a worry free solution to this your particular problem then you're even more useless than I thought!

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

Your coursemate was never AS to begin with.... Please God is not author of confusion.

ZeroShenanigan:
Without checking your profile, I know this a female voice.
This is how majority of you always sound.
If I come come over here to seek for an advise during those period, people like you will ask me to go ahead without thinking of the implications.
Did you see me mention that I'm perfect? I'm a career also, AS. If I have known this earlier, I will insist on a relationship with only AA. Please, I can't stand any negative comments this moment as I'm a kind of guy that will never give a damn about your derailing opinion. I believe so much in God's will as well human personal endeavor to achieve whatever you desire. Gbogbo epe to ba she, o ma pada so ri e ni.
I bring out my story for others to learn ni. Only God knows what will happen later as I'm only contemplating divorce which I have not done yet. How many SS children have you helped to survive if you want people to continue breeding sickler?

You Want people to clap for you dor being wilfully ignorant at 30-something? At 16, I knew to ask for genotypes, because I'm AS. You should be ashamed to say all this.

You are not even interested in a marriage, you just want children. You can have children without marriage, so, why did you agree to marry a woman you have no feelings for?

You will not get a divorce petition filed in any Nigerian court, if your marriage is not two years old. Enjoy yourself

uglodoh:
He came out AS and his younger brother healthy. The doctor advised us to stop giving birth.

It's good advice...thank God for giving you grace. He keeps saving us from things we didn't know.

Gaggi:
A figment of you people's imagination. Genotype cannot be changed by prayers or anything else except science.
The reason Nigeria is still backward is because people swallow every B.S they hear.

If a genotype 'changed' it was because of faulty or misleading tests in the lab. Yes, labs have been known to make mistakes that is why people should always do the tests at least 3 times in different labs.

It's our foolishness in this part of the world that will make sickle cell not to be eradicated. If only people will stick to medical advise, the disease can be eradicated in a few decades. When you start peddling lies, then you are encouraging people to keep defying medical advice and hoping they can be foolish and end up praying for a cure or miracle, thereby keeping us in a perpetual cycle.

Mr know it all, I greet you. Have you heard of spontaneous remissions in medical science? Have you researched deeply into the placebo effect? Have you put all the laws of quantum physics and quantum biology into practice and gotten results from them?

You, my friend, is Newtonian physics and biology brain washed. There is more to life than what Isaac Newton saw and taught!

In quantum physics/biology everything is everywhere at the same time, there is no space and no time between what we want and us, all possibilities exist, energy and matter are equally interchangeable(Einstein's E=mc2), the observer affects what he observes.

It matches seamlessly with spirituality and its laws: as a man thinks so is he, all things are possible, we are gods, as He(God) is so are we.

Bros, we haven't even scratched the depths of spirituality and the results derivable from it. Most of us are clueless. It doesn't mean that these possibilities don't exist or that people aren't getting these miracles or that spontaneous remissions are not happening or that men aren't converting spiritual resources to physical results. Problem is only a few percentage of people know how and can stay the course to move possibilities into experience.

Not in support of blind faith or people blindly going into trouble like OP and his wife but bro, never pontificate and talk arrogantly about depths you know nothing about.

Fountainofyouth:
It is in the book of Acts, I'm not sure of the chapter and verse, you can search further on it.

No Sis, don't dodge this.

Please use Strong Concordance and search for it, and tell us the exact book, chapter and verse where it is written that "prevention is better than cure" as you've said.

bong4:
Believe me, marriage has several, "heats of the moments". Anyone who can make such a statement in one matter can repeat it in another.

You are correct no doubt...... But there is a difference between saying and acting. we all sometimes say things we dont mean and will never do.

nan1:
just pray this child is not a sickler cos you will forever regret it. Love is not enough for a marriage to stand common sense is of high importance and that child will never forgive both of you.
My neighbors son is a sickler Evey week blood transfusion and many nights at the hospital. i never pray for such even to my enemies.

buying a pint of blood now is almost like 20k and that's if yours is the common to find type. Imagine spending these on a child that does nothing but sleep in pains daily and the chance of dying higher than surviving, them some clowns here say he should go ahead and keep praying, so as u dey desturb god to give u good, money, car,house, peace then u go come add Ss join. God self will be confuse which to ans first

Saintmary:
Savage baba
I hope your savageness has solved your quandary.
However you paint your story, you were careless with your own life and only you have to bear the consequences.

What's your problem?

He asked for advice, give it if you have any to give. If you have none keep your mouth shut tight.

Why are you carrying his matter too much for head and insulting him?

Bad manners everywhere.

No problem, be prepare for future heartbreak and I hope any infected child will be able to forgive you when the crises begins

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Did I hear you well? A woman threatened to divorce you and you collapsed into her scheme? Haba na!

membranus:
What's your problem?

He asked for advice, give it if you have any to give. If you have none keep your mouth shut tight.

Why are you carrying his matter too much for head and insulting him?

Bad manners everywhere.

I said I was coming, he chose to jump the gun. The post you quoted was the result of his impatience.
Well, let me hold off for now.

You couldn’t stand by ur decision and you went ahead with the wedding, now you want to divorce her and make her a single mom. You are stupid. You are an idiot.
Being an orphan is not an excuse for an educated youth. Are there no elders around you? What happened to ur religious leaders or do you live in an island?
Live with the pain mr man

ZeroShenanigan:
Who is this person na? You just reminds me of the reactions one my wife's sister gave then. Abeg, take things easy with your self, I'm not fighting you please. Even my wife now realized how risky it is for us having more children together and if we resolve to divorce, I think she is wouldn't mind. Will you help us with hospital bills when it happens? will you give us the moral and emotional support of seeing a child sick every time? Please spare me some space to allow for people who have good things to say. Thank you.

I perfectly understand what you going through and I know reason for your action.. but bro, I work in hospital, ( I no be medical practitioner oo), and I know what parents of Ss go through bro.. there was a time guy who happens to be SS, cursed and blame his parents when the pains was too much for him.. his parents couldn't help but to cry, tbh, SS crisis is better imagine than experience...



You are a man, you know what to do...
Love doesnt sustain marriage in this regard bro

Fundamentalist:
A man should be able to stand by his words. 3 years ago I rejected a lady i wanted to marry. I discovered if I went ahead with it, I won't be be happy at all. She wanted me badly but I knew I might enter one chance. I took only a day to make a decision that it had to be called off. please note that both families knew about the relationship and were looking forward to end of 2017 for the marriage. There was pressure from my family to continue but I stood by my decision. This continued for 6 months. With my total silence on the issue everyone just left me alone. Please let's know what we want when entering a marriage. No one would bare your cross when problems start. Since you have put a lady in a family way, you have to bare the cross. If she's my sister i wont let you off. Rather call off a wedding that people would attend and even forget when it happened than live a marriage full of sadness and regret. Please take of your pregnant wife. She's your responsibility. Despite my cancelled relationship everyone is looking towards my marriage till today.

You made the right decision man....I'm about calling off a similar relationship..babe is too argumentative, and hates men , wouldn't have married if not society(according to her) and that she will share everything half between her new family and the family she's coming from...so no one needs to advice me on what to do ..even though she's superhot but when trouble starts tomorrow I will forget her banging body

Fountainofyouth:
In all your write up, I was looking for where she forced you at gun point to marry her, but its not there, so why are you making it seem like it's her fault? You walked to the Nikkah, you were not dragged, so own it and stop the blame game,

Anyway, the deed has been done, stay with her till she gives birth, then talk to her to make her understand that the more you both stay together, there is a chance of birthing SS, I'll never advice adults to stay together knowing they are both AS to marry or whatever, so pls divorce her, you're saving multiple lifes if you do that.

P.S nobody should come here and say there are solutions to it, not everyone can afford $10,000 to $1,000,000 for a bone marrow or whatever they call it.

That bone marrow shit is too expensive I tell you.

I just want to tell you that you are in a hell of trouble. How can you comes so low in listening to her. Just know if eventually that child turns to be SS,you have put him or her in pains through out the rest of his or her days here on Earth. The love which you guys share before we fade away. And make sure you have some good money in your acct for hospital bills whenever it calls for. My senior broda made the same mistake you are making now but he is regretting today. 3 of his sons died because of them being SS