₦airaland Forum

So unfortunate both of u are graduates but not educated. I know u didn't attend any marriage class. Omo carry ur cross, my dad will say u don't deserve help.

dangoteinlaw:
okay o, so the sicklers haven't been born they have already started wasting money on tests or you think genotype test is 1k naira abi even in this corona recession time or maybe u mist the part where he stated his job as a teacher or because he mentioned govt teacher u assumed he should have all the money to throw around on illness instead of planning other things to better his life standards.

Genotype is 500 in government hospital.
Is it not better for them to repeat the test, to be very sure of the result.

Talking from experience.

Calm down first Oga. ,make she born first,let's see what the baby genotype will say

.

Stand your ground oo, a failed relationship is better than a marriage filled with regrets. If you get married, know that you will carry the cross for the rest of your life

janvier27:
I thought there is now a test that can be done at a stage in pregnancy to determine the genotype of the foetus, and know what options are there before birth if it turns out to be SS.

(Thou shalt not kill)Thou shalt not abort. The blood of the innocent cry to God against their murderers, he who sheds mans blood, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God made He man. Genesis 9: 6

Now u seek advice when d head has been cut off

U had the opportunity of doing the right thing but you blew it off. U could av saved this unborn child from d troubles ahead as well as save ur peace.

I buried mine just last year November which was as a result of wrong result given to my wife.

Since u av turned urself to be a prayer warrior, pray that the unborn child is AA or AS, if not, ur peace would be shattered, ur pocket would run dry, d hate growing against ur wife now, would be worse than u can ever imagine.

Finally, I pray ull be able to forgive urself for God gave u d grace of retracing ur steps but u blew it away.

DeeMain:
Mr know it all, I greet you. Have you heard of spontaneous remissions in medical science? Have you researched deeply into the placebo effect? Have you put all the laws of quantum physics and quantum biology into practice and gotten results from them?

You, my friend, is Newtonian physics and biology brain washed. There is more to life than what Isaac Newton saw and taught!

In quantum physics/biology everything is everywhere at the same time, there is no space and no time between what we want and us, all possibilities exist, energy and matter are equally interchangeable(Einstein's E=mc2), the observer affects what he observes.

It matches seamlessly with spirituality and its laws: as a man thinks so is he, all things are possible, we are gods, as He(God) is so are we.

Bros, we haven't even scratched the depths of spirituality and the results derivable from it. Most of us are clueless. It doesn't mean that these possibilities don't exist or that people aren't getting these miracles or that spontaneous remissions are not happening or that men aren't converting spiritual resources to physical results. Problem is only a few percentage of people know how and can stay the course to move possibilities into experience.

Not in support of blind faith or people blindly going into trouble like OP and his wife but bro, never pontificate and talk arrogantly about depths you know nothing about.

Stop talking rubbish. Genotype cannot be changed except through stem cell or bone marrow transplant.

Brother man, u are in. But if u think of having more kids, visit sickle cell center

Sickle Cell Foundation Nigeria
National Sickle Cell Centre,
Opp Lagos University Teaching Hospital(LUTH),
Ishaga Road, Idi-Araba,
Surulere, Lagos. Nigeria.

P.O Box 3463, Surulere, Lagos

Other Contacts
Telephone
+234-803 584 6666 – Programme Cordinator
+234-810 000 2001 – Enquiries
+234-810 000 2002 – Genetic Counseling

And make informed decisions. Nairaland would only make u aware of ur dangers. Sickle cell matter is not and never a money matter alone. U can even go insane when d drama starts.

Pray to be lucky for the first two to be AS. If so stop there.

The deed has been done just man up and face it OK,divorce is never a choice!
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betterpikinn:
Shut up!

Ignorance and stupid assumptions is what is limiting people like you in this life.
The simplest test PRE-NATAL DIAGNOSIS is not even up to 400k. Go to LUTH to find out.

And after the test what next? Many couples have done up to 3 abortions just to have 2 babies that are not SS. They will now go around telling people how God performed a miracle and blessed them with healthy children.

My Prayer is for the unborn child(ren) you guys will have.


You are going no where in this marriage oga either you like it or not, if you try to the people that talk you to get married will still talk you to stay put so enjoy your home.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Dont be offended sir , please how much is ur pay( salary ) when u started the gvt teaching job and how long did it take for the recruitment process for the teaching job .

Please i need a sincere answer cause i am currently working in a private company where i earn 50 k but i am on a neck of one commissioner for education for a job , i suspect he will give me a teaching job since he is a commissioner for education and secondly ....he only requsted for my name , phone no. Date of birth , account details and qualification ..its 1 month plus he said the recruitment is ongoing ...so, i wish to know my fate reasons i asked my question pls kindly answer

Horlubunmmy:
Genotype is 500 in government hospital.
Is it not better for them to repeat the test, to be very sure of the result.

Talking from experience.

luk lets end the talk, mentioning govt hospital alone just pissed me off. Gud day

Only trust in God. With Him all things are possible. I am a living Testimony. With God Genotype is not an issue.

If you are still living in sin don't think of faith.
I am married and its faith that changed our genotype not even love or what have you.

atoleybaba:
she meant obedience is better than sacrifice....either way they kind of mean the same thing

They absolutely do not mean the same thing

Fountainofyouth:
I'm a Christian o, but pls go and sleep, the Bible that said prevention is better than cure isn't stupid, God cannot be mocked.


Modified;

Where is this in the bible

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

You're an idiot for letting a lady manipulate you into marriage.

She black mailed you emotionally. My advise is to divorce once she put to bed. For goodness sake you guys are both educated and understands the implication. The same people she was trying to please would be the same people that would laugh at you people when you start spending money on SS baby.

My brother, I wouldn’t advice you to continue with the marriage. I just lost a brother to that cell disease 2weeks ago. You will never be happy with yourself if you continue in that marriage.

I understand you are Muslim. Doesn't your religion support multiple wives? So you don't have to put her in the position of ex wife since there was love between you before you discovered your genotype which is your fault not knowing.

The position you have taken was the best considering your religion and it was just a week to the wedding if you guys separate now it wouldn't be shameful for her.

What you need now is money for ivf and other medical child selection methods. Don't leave it to natural selection.

If you both still can't afford to move ahead then let her be after 1 or 2 years now that she's still young.

eni4real:
Only Divorce can solve this matter

Yes.

Just be prayerful.... The lord will lead you through

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You shouldn't have gone ahead with the marriage in the first place,prevention is better than cure no matter the pressure on you
The damage has been done already ,l will advice you to accept it as your destiny don't divorce.Your wife and the unborn kid need you now more than ever .Pray nothing God can't do

DeckXavier:
sorry, but this is bullshit.

Not my bullshit pls!

Emekaossai:
Give your wife the care and love she needs now. Since you have taken the decision of getting married to her, learn to stand by it like a man you are.

My both parents are AS but non out of three of us is sickler.

are you serious about it

how did ur parents mange to do it

Hmmmm it's very painful but the deeds has been done.
Please she and your unborn child needs your support and love now Biko.
Don't allow her to fall under Labour in a depressed mind, it can be risky.
STEM cell is a sure cure but some doctors will Never tell you that.
God will see you through

[s]

Fountainofyouth:
In all your write up, I was looking for where she forced you at gun point to marry her, but its not there, so why are you making it seem like it's her fault? You walked to the Nikkah, you were not dragged, so own it and stop the blame game,

Anyway, the deed has been done, stay with her till she gives birth, then talk to her to make her understand that the more you both stay together, there is a chance of birthing SS, I'll never advice adults to stay together knowing they are both AS to marry or whatever, so pls divorce her, you're saving multiple lifes if you do that.

P.S nobody should come here and say there are solutions to it, not everyone can afford $10,000 to $1,000,000 for a bone marrow or whatever they call it.

[/s]
Shut up and stop dishing rubbish advice with your small brain

[s]

Ebenezer2O2O:

Shut up and stop dishing rubbish advice with your small brain

[/s]

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

What advice do you want from us after you had gone ahead with the wedding? Oh! You us to 'ginger' you to divorce her? You know what youth? Enjoy your Hall of Pain!

Graxie:
please there is nothing like that in the Bible.

We sure conjure up 'sciptures' like that when hanging out with gang members bingeing on bottles of beer, that year!

Maybe he was tryna refer to the part where obedience is better than sacrifice.