Klass99:


I don't know why most men assume that some of us are still single and miserable, because we turned down their marriage proposal and if we hadn't done that, we would be married and happy today. Smh and lol As if they can see into the future or as if marriage guarantees happiness.

Right after uni, a man 10 years older than me wanted us to get married and proposed. I told him I'm not ready for marriage I want to finish youth service, find honest work to do for a living, before I consider marriage.

As a young girl who loved reading fiction novels like The Women's Murder Club, Agatha Christie, Nancy Drew and watching movies like L.A Law, Return to Eden etc. My mind was exposed to a world of possibilities, of what I could do as a single woman.

I loved all these books/movies, because the female characters were always depicted as responsible, hard working, well adjusted adults with jobs and flats of their own, paying their own bills and I wanted that sort of life for myself.So, when he proposed marriage the mental images of a wedding, pregnancy, children weren't aligning with the images in my heart/head.

Do I regret turning down his proposal or subsequent ones? No, I don't. Because I like where my life is at and the freedom that comes with being single. Singleness is a gift and a blessing, when managed appropriately and effectively. There's freedom, time and energy to do things like seek God, develop skills/talents, go back to school if you want to etc

I think a lot of women don't know or understand this, which explains the desperation I see men describing on this thread. But I speak as a woman who doesn't want children, so I can't relate to this over 30, biological clock ticking, I must marry by last year thingy.

dalass:


But you were ready to chook prick and get her pregnant

pocohantas:


Lmao. You guys are really dumb if you think I will ever disclose such on NL. What next? You start watching my womb?

C’mon, no smart person leaves important details on this current Nairaland. You need to ensure trolls always follow the wrong trail.

Proud evening newspaper for LIFE!

WORDWORLD:


We know you are married with children. We just enjoy trolling you because you enjoy being trolled. Lol Mrs pocohantas...

pocohantas:


Anyway, I thank NL for bringing my sucre papito my way and I thank you guys for giving me the publicity that made him notice me.

Nothing is irrelevant in the ecosystem, including trolls like you and saucecode. We appreciate you all.

EdwardRandy:

I'm a living testimony bro

WORDWORLD:


Don't mention we have always meant well with the publicity. We are also grateful that you appreciate our effort in ensuring your sucre papito

sassysure:
What I'm reading here make it look like ladies are the only desperate ones.


Have u ever seen a desperate guy who want to marry a lady by fire by force?
He is that lady's everyday nightmare.
Sometimes, u have to involve the elders to stop him from harassing you.

The worst is that they are very manipulative.

If they happen to be from the same village with you, all worst.

They will try to manipulate your parents through their family and friends, when they see that your family is the struggling type, they will introduce money.
Some are so arrogant they will go straight to your people with their elders without consulting you or even proposing first not to talk of u accepting their proposal.

As a young maiden, I saw it all. Some came to my school, sometimes especially during Christmas when u go home, u will wonder if father Christmas visited your house.
Is it gifts, they don't take rejection easily.

I had lots of suitors. If they were 10( trust me, I got more than that), 7 were very shocked I said no, then 5 started aggressive wooing using all manner of manipulations.

Most babes around me experience the same thing. It's worst when you enter higher institution. Get admission to study medicine, pharmacy or nursing and they will break your father's gate. U will get call from abroad( both genuine and fake abroaders )tire.

Most well to do men from my tribe don't accept rejection easily. It is a knockout on his image and they have this huge ego. And if you are wooing a girl for marriage, most times, your peers and family are aware of that.
So its a kind of challange and a hurdle they must cross by any means possible. What ladies dont know is that when such men finally nail you, you are simply a trophy at that particular moment to be discarded for another one.
When you say no,mean it and move on.

WORDWORLD:


I still wonder why pocohantas is yet to marry. She has been a very good relationship and marriage counselor on NL. What is really going on? It baffles me really. Not flattering but it really beat my imagination despite all of her advice to ladies about marriage and relationship. All I know is that last-last pocohantas is going to get married some day. And I pray she lives happily ever after.

igwegeorgiano:
Hahahaha my experience was both funny and a very bitter one. The lady in question was 35 while I was 30. She gave me 350k to come and do "egbanku" I collected money and kept it an account waiting for her to request for it when she is tired. When, at apoint she came up with pregnancy trap I requested for a test result which she forged and presented. I pretended I was ok with it until she decided to opened up to me that she was not pregnant for me but for my childhood friend who later travelled out of the country. After some months I gave the 350k for the egbanku and called off the relationship.

pocohantas:


WE appreciate. Emphasis on WE.

ibkayee:

Haha let them tell it only women are desperate to get married, on nairaland alone, some of them will say one thing on here and another in your inbox lol.

I have seen some of the most desperate, weird and even scary proposals involving Nigerian men lol

pocohantas:


Lmao. You guys are really dumb if you think I will ever disclose such on NL. What next? You start watching my womb?

C’mon, no smart person leaves important details on this current Nairaland. You need to ensure trolls always follow the wrong trail.

Proud evening newspaper for LIFE!

saucecode:

See tory for village square meeting you that announces the food you eat and drink you drank, even announce when u finish secretary meeting, na your marriage wey pipo don bully u endlessly on you no go come announce? You?

We are waiting for the electric shock eee

pocohantas:


Anyway, I thank NL for bringing my sucre papito my way and I thank you guys for giving me the publicity that made him notice me.

Nothing is irrelevant in the ecosystem, including trolls like you and saucecode. We appreciate you all.

saucecode:

See tory for village square meeting you that announces the food you eat and drink you drank, even announce when u finish secretary meeting, na your marriage wey pipo don bully u endlessly on you no go come announce? You?

We are waiting for the electric shock eee

saucecode:

You're welcome,make sucre papito do make a woman out of u biko

pocohantas:


Ladies are just too nice. They don’t talk about these things or they just say “he doesn’t have time to waste”.

Turn the table, they will stand on their roofs, shouting on how some babe wanted to hook their broke ass. Small small boys forming most wanted.

ibkayee:

Tuh! If some ladies start telling their stories

adedayoa2:
one was so desperate that after some years he got married and i was still single, he was like shebi you see, you're still single, you should have married me. I told him, presntly i am still single, even if you still ask me to marry you, i will still say 'no'. He is still ^avoiding me, after many years.

gbami:

Very difficult

JUICYPINEAPPLE:


Making up her mind. My Brother, the simple truth is, at that particular point in a woman's life she becomes so desperate that whoever comes over and shows that he is ready to marry her such ladies at that point in their life usually do not think twice THEIR MIND IS MADE UP it doesn't matter anymore all that matters is that she wants to become a wife to someone and have kids. Not many are usually happy in such marriage to be honest with you. Am glad yours is a happy one. Ladies are choose to be stock at a point in their life becoming so DESPERATE because time is running out and their options are becoming lesser.

pocohantas:


Nah, it is not desperation. He is just being serious. No time to mess around. Na we good to mess around. Ndi ala!

ibkayee:

Tuh! If some ladies start telling their stories

ravensckar:
And should we blame them for that?


To be honest with you, I feel for ladies when it comes to choosing their partners. They do not have all the time in the world. That's why I'll never support guys making mockery of them by calling them 'Evening Newspaper'. It's only he who wears the shoe that knows where it pinches.


Now, let me tell you another secret. She said part of the reason why she was 'desperate' then was that her menstruation isn't regular and a friend told her that it's a sign that she'll enter menopause quickly. Hence, Sister decided to do quick quick and settle down.


To this day, I still cherish her for marrying me in that condition. I told her, me myself wouldn't have married myself in that condition. I was living in one room apartment with my kid brother, doing a part time 70K job that isn't regular, the only thing in my room was a mattress, rug, fan and my laptop that we use to watch movies. See ehn, anybody that insult ladies, I go follow join swear for that person.

WORDWORLD:


What is stopping you all. The Title of the thread is HAVE YOU DATED SOMEONE WHO DESPERATELY WANTED TO GET MARRIED?!!!

It isn't directed to guys alone. How come it is only guys that are they ones mostly telling us their stories.

We want to hear your stories to. Mind remember the title says "DATE" don't come here and be telling us stories about how rich men are all over you seeking your hand in marriage without you dating them first. The title says DATED SOMEONE meaning to have a Grove.

Sasysures story is out of point. It is about a line of suitors not people she dated and it is as well what goes on in her locality, a tribe is very fond of such.

ibkayee:

Take a deep breath

ibkayee:

Take a deep breath

WORDWORLD:


You very good at mockery. HONESTLY If not for such a condition......

pocohantas:


E really need am. The energy...

ravensckar:
Mockery? God forbid! I'm talking about my wife and partner here! How can I mock her? My writing may be a bit satirical (or what do these Literature people call it self) but trust me it's not mockery.

Whatever it is that I'm typing here, she's seeing it in HD. My wife too is a Nairalander o.

Besides, both of us are at that level where we 'yab' each other. We're best of friends bro! Person wey me and her dey do 'farting competition'

Klass99:


Why do you find that so shocking? Yes, I don't want to bring forth children but I am happy to be an aunty, friend or mentor to young children in my life, world and space.

When I say mentor, I don't mean the sort of mentorship full of motivational talk. Mentorship where I candidly lead/teach by example, things like saying please, thank you, cooking, social etiquette, answering curious questions about God and the universe (as best as I can) etc.

More of friendship, than mentorship actually. Believe it or not, no be every woman pikin dey shack o! I am one of such women.