annex1:
If for 32 years in Nigeria you never saw a "below 26 year old "who complemented this your personality. Then there was something wrong.

If 32 Nigerian years of your non-drinking, smoking and womanizing, you didnt have a lady who noticed this and and was endeared to you. Then there is something amis.

If for 32 Nigerian years of your being a "church-boy" didnt attract a Nigerian "church girl" My brother, something was definitely off.

Dont bother coming to Nigeria to lay-low like a regular guy to find a wife. What wife are you looking for that you didnt see in this same 32 years when you were a "natural regular guy"?

And for you stereotyping by suggesting that most Nigerian ladies would fall face down because your home is now North America is an all time low. This is possibly what is subconsciously not allowing you give any of the Nigerian ladies in Nigeria a chance. So that mirror you were looking at while creating your username, look deeply into it, see the problem. Attack the problem.

And also stay calm. There are ladies with typically good - wife attributes around you. You are in a diverse environment now so be open minded. That's what you wanted. Except you are in dire need of a Nigerian woman and in that case refer to the 5th paragraph.

Ariza:
Oga no kuku marry! There's nothing wrong with being single for life, Good thing is you aren't in a society that will condemn you for it.

You are beginning to sound like you are some kind of blessing to women folk because you dey obodo oyinbo. . Truth is No one cares if you marry or you not getting married. To even start with you called everyone's attention to you meaning no body knows some 32 Nairaland Negro living in North America. Why not just get the words of advice you seek and stop feeling like some God damned "cold" cake!
Abi ewoni iranu gan?

GuyInTheMirror:

I live in a black minority city. Infact when I am in public spaces I am usually the only black person, it is that bad.
For joining that kind of church I am yet to see that around me.
What I see are regular christians who mostly dont consider divorce to be a big deal.
Infact the bible study leader in my church has been divorced 3 times.

pocohantas:


He saw, just like his younger brothers that full NL- he probably called them DESPERATE. I told those those ones to calm down, the journey is ahead.


From his writeup, you can tell his kind. Always acting so perfect and every other person is the problem. He should better pick his poison.




Very simple

GuyInTheMirror:

Madamme..
This is not a man bashing woman thread like we have all littered around this forum.
My intention is to have a civil and objective discussion, you would notice that so far I have tried to keep things sane so please try and lets respect that.

pocohantas:


Seems anyone that doesn’t cuddle you is bashing you, but you were being objective by stereotyping women.

Mr Perfect, why is it so hard finding a perfect woman? Are you the last of your kind?

Look at the guy in the mirror and FIX yourself.

pocohantas:

[s]Seems anyone that doesn’t cuddle you is bashing you, but you were being objective by stereotyping women.

Mr Perfect, why is it so hard finding a perfect woman? Are you the last of your kind?

Look at the guy in the mirror and FIX yourself.[/s]

GuyInTheMirror:

Madamme..
This is not a man bashing woman thread like we have all littered around this forum.
My intention is to have a civil and objective discussion, you would notice that so far I have tried to keep things sane so please try and lets respect that.

pocohantas:


Seems anyone that doesn’t cuddle you is bashing you, but you were being objective by stereotyping women.

Mr Perfect, why is it so hard finding a perfect woman? Are you the last of your kind?

Look at the guy in the mirror and FIX yourself.

annex1:


And for you stereotyping by suggesting that most Nigerian ladies would fall face down because your home is now North America is an all time low. This is possibly what is subconsciously not allowing you give any of the Nigerian ladies in Nigeria a chance. So that mirror you were looking at while creating your username, look deeply into it, see the problem. Attack the problem.

And also stay calm. There are ladies with typically good - wife attributes around you. You are in a diverse environment now so be open minded. That's what you wanted. Except you are in dire need of a Nigerian woman and in that case refer to the 5th paragraph.

Unnerve:

Bro I live in the UK and I suggest you go for option 1 at this time, see what comes of it while still keeping option 3 open just in case whatever relationship you start now does not work out.

For now, just look out for Nigerian ladies who are FOB for study purposes (maximum of five years total in-country). They are usually still very grounded in Nigerian family life and at the same time have been exposed to a western way of life but have not yet fully imbibed it. So you have a chance to grow & decide together what you both like about Nigerian culture, what you like about western culture and how you can combine it together. Best of both worlds.

Depending on your exact location in the states, it might be difficult running into Nigerians, so my suggestion is a more general one. You could also go on road trips to the city nearest to you that has a larger Nigerian community to meet Nigerians.

Please be aware that whomever you start something with now, you should be honest with her about your citizenship status. You don't want to make a FOB Nigerian girl believe you're already a citizen, she may get close to you on that account to secure her own.

Cheers mate

GuyInTheMirror:

I am going to try and explain somethings to you okay ?

Finding a perfect woman has never been an easy thing, I guess the same goes with finding a perfect man.
So there isnt anything bad in being in a dilemna about that, its the way it is supposed to be. Every focused person would pause and think deeply before they make the choice of a life partner.

The fact that I decide to discuss this on Nairaland should not give you the impression that I am in an hopeless situation thats not the case, I can discuss this here cos I believe we have very intelligent people here, and being on this forum has changed my life and I have learn alot from here.

I got my first job on this forum, and I have made great friends here as well that I have helped and have also been of tremendous help to me etc.
Who knows maybe I will even meet my wife on this forum as well

So be careful the way you address people and stop being unnecessarily aggressive.

Cheers

Romangalactic:

Guyinthemirror, this is why you must avoid Nigerian based girls who spend a big portion of their lives on the internet. This particular one is dating a sucre papito who is based abroad. She is a perfect stereotype for naija girls seeking abroad husband

saucecode:

As in,she should not even be having an opinion here.
Dat girl na the perfect sterotypical hustler for abroad husband

pocohantas:


Of course, both are hard. It is harder for people like you. People who claim to be so good and every other person is the problem.

I am this, I am that, I don’t do this, I don’t do that...

Only you, yet you stayed 32 years in Nigeria and no babe hooked you? You still travelled abroad and stayed two, no babe again? How?

Ahnahn! Uncle, look in the mirror again. Dating people like you is even HARD. They are stressful because one would keep trying to fit into their STANDARD of a good partner. Relationships shouldn’t be that stressful.

I don’t care if you are not in a hopeless situation. If you decide not to marry, I don’t care. That is your choice. However, if you want to marry, you need to look within and make compromises.

pocohantas:
They have landed. They are not yet complete.

saucecode:

But you too,why did no man hook you all these years?
Your sucre papito met you on nl and doesn't know the real you yet. Is there something he's missing?

GuyInTheMirror:

Babe please dont derail this thread . I have gotten some great insights I dont want people willing to share more to be discouraged.
Thanks

pocohantas:


Have you seen me blame men for my singleness? Have you seen me claim to be so perfect and the guys I have been meeting are the problem?

I would never do that.

As for my sucre papito, he is fully aware of the REAL ME. Do I hide my bad character? I don’t na. I can easily get a good girl acct, but I am not a good girl and he knows!!

We are fine over here. Kill yasef!

saucecode:

My dear,we can date and fck bad girls but we only marry good girls. So do prayer and fasting for ring biko

pocohantas:

His prick so longgg, it stretches across the Atlantic. Your gfs are even getting more fcked than I am. Some men like them BAD! Kinda like, the devil you know...

You know why I love diasporan guys? They don’t have time to waste. Will they enter plane to come fck toto? When no be say them never fck before. Once they see who they like, they strike.

saucecode:

See how she's talking abt her sucre papito prick on the internet. So disrespectful.
I never see who dey put cart before horse pass dis girl.

At least your mentor cococondy waited until wedding day before announcing her abroad catch on nl,you on the other hand wan use talk talk spoil your own wey never give u ring.

Romangalactic:

This is not a stereotype, 8 out of 10 times it is true. The remaining 2 women who won't fall face down, have wealthy parents and are not excited by the idea of an abroad based guy.

annex1:


Another man missing the point. So when you finally meet this remaining two, wont your current fixed mindset also judge them as that - only being interested in his North America?

Having an open mindset is the best thing you can gift yourself. Besides what is bad in a lady wanting to be engaged with someone abroad? Even boboz will be ecstatic at this prospect.

If you read my posts, I spoke about mirror guy making TRADE OFFs because he cant have it all.

A. So yes he feels if he marries some Nigerian girl he is going to offer her North America (good trade)
Now look for what she is also good at and going to offer him and the marriage. Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multi-nationals, single, industrious and living effing comfortably. At the same time they'll still fancy the option of relocating. Appreciate the fact that in difficult Nigeria she is doing well, consider how elevating her to your North America will benefit you and the marriage. As for attitude, as a sound young man and "christian" that you claim, at some point you will always know if someone's attitude is off - by discussing various diverse topics and situations.
So tell me how will he give those remaining two a chance when he already has a fixed mindset?

B. Marry someone in North America that dont care about where you are. He is considering this option and this option eliminates his fear of Nigerian girls feigning love because of his "being in North America"
But NO, he wont because they are feminists and not under 26. Worst of all they like divorce.
So again why dont you make a TRADE OFF by accepting and appreciating the profits of equality in gender, marriage and household duties. Some men would jump at this. AGAIN, if you truly uphold respect and equality in marriage, why would you be afraid of her divorcing you if arent bent on frustrating her like you may or would have with no repercussion if yall were in Nigeria?

My Brother, you cant cut your cake and have it. This is marriage, you must make trade offs.

GuyInTheMirror:

How come you do not consider the option of coming back to live in Nigeria as a regular guy. What is wrong with this approach ?

annex1:


Another man missing the point. So when you finally meet this remaining two, wont your current fixed mindset also judge them as that - only being interested in his North America?

Having an open mindset is the best thing you can gift yourself. Besides what is bad in a lady wanting to be engaged with someone abroad? Even boboz will be ecstatic at this prospect.

If you read my posts, I spoke about mirror guy making TRADE OFFs because he cant have it all.

A. So yes he feels if he marries some Nigerian girl he is going to offer her North America (good trade)
Now look for what she is also good at and going to offer him and the marriage. Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multi-nationals, single, industrious and living effing comfortably. At the same time they'll still fancy the option of relocating. Appreciate the fact that in difficult Nigeria she is doing well, consider how elevating her to your North America will benefit you and the marriage. As for attitude, as a sound young man and "christian" that you claim, at some point you will always know if someone's attitude is off - by discussing various diverse topics and situations.
So tell me how will he give those remaining two a chance when he already has a fixed mindset?

B. Marry someone in North America that dont care about where you are. He is considering this option and this option eliminates his fear of Nigerian girls feigning love because of his "being in North America"
But NO, he wont because they are feminists and not under 26. Worst of all they like divorce.
So again why dont you make a TRADE OFF by accepting and appreciating the profits of equality in gender, marriage and household duties. Some men would jump at this. AGAIN, if you truly uphold respect and equality in marriage, why would you be afraid of her divorcing you if arent bent on frustrating her like you may or would have with no repercussion if yall were in Nigeria?

My Brother, you cant cut your cake and have it. This is marriage, you must make trade offs.

izzou:


Because it is a Superstory approach, from the stables of Wale Adenuga productions. It only exists in your head

Are all the regular guys in Nigeria happily married to good wives?
So once you automatically reside here, you'll get a good wife abi?

People like you are so careful and in the end, you end up with the same mistakes of someone who was careless

The problem I see on this thread is you: You are not open minded. You haved zeroed options because of what you feel, or what people agreed with you here(faceless people for Heaven's sake)

But that's your problem sha.

GuyInTheMirror:


Thanks for your input.
While I may not agree with some of your assumptions up there, I was hoping you'd put forward a more robust explanation about why you think that option is not tenable.
It is true that not all people married in Nigeria are married to good wives, but you make it sound as if there are no people married to great women in Nigeria.

pocohantas:

I can’t remember saying he is abroad. You all assumed he is abroad and I love to play along.

I love messing with your head and the things you think you know.

Romangalactic:

I'm not interested in all this story. I only quoted you to tell you that Nigerian girls falling face down for abroad guys is not a stereotype. It is a fact. Look around you and stop existing on alternate made-up internet reality

Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multinationals, living effing comfortably. LIES

You're preaching about having an open mindset as if you don't know how generalizations work. That 8 out of 10 girls will fall face down, is enough to form a valid opinion and no realistic person will want to gamble on the minority without having suspicions