₦airaland Forum

iamyemiakins:
Have you ever dated someone who desperately wanted to get married when you were not ready?



How was the experience?

luminouz:
Nawa for una oh...

This socalled benevolence is not done for your own family members and yet you dey advise others to open business for a woman he is not married to,after sponsoring her for 3 years...

Na this mentality dey make women call una mumu. Go ahead and set her up yourself na

piagbara:
Lol oga that was a repsonse to another story, this is not for the guy who sponsored the lady.... Welldone

ravensckar:
Honestly, when I read one-sided write ups like these, I feel appalled. Ain't there two sides to a coin any more? The so-called 'desperation' from ladies may not always be what you think. It could be a way of saying their own mind is made up. They have no more time to waste.

Now, let me shock you with my own story. When I met the lady I'm married to today, she told me straight up that she's not in for any long term relationship. She's almost done with school and that if the relationship won't lead to marriage, I should jejely excuse her. Me being the 'guyman' that I was then, I wanted to chop and clean mouth. I sha played along with the intent to chop until I'm full. Now, therein lies my confusion; the said lady in question was everything I wanted in a woman (beautiful, educated, well behaved, God-fearing and highly industrious). But I have just one problem; I wasn't ready for marriage. Money no dey, even the job I was doing then, salary was around 70K.


She sha encouraged me that we should pull our resources together and that we'll survive. Long story cut short, I decided to give it a shot. After all, person wey dey ground no get anywhere to fall to. We got married in less than 4 months of dating. When I mean married, I mean a proper and elaborate wedding. Brethrens, today we're still together. Yes, she's not perfect just like I'm not as well, but we are still happily married.

It was later I understood the reason for her 'desperation'. She had wasted too much time dating some Bleep boys, hence, she felt she has no more time to waste. To her, if it's not going to lead to marriage, then, she shouldn't even venture into it. What we guys see as 'desperation' to some ladies, it's called making up their mind.

KyrianOkeke:
Sincerely, this is the best comment I've read on this thread... there's nothing wrong with a lady stating clear to a guy the direction she wants for her life and relationship. You don't call that desperation.

When a relationship fails the ladies tend to lose more, so it's only normal that they will do their best to build a solid relationship... a lot of times, the ladies don't really want marriage instantly, they just want to be sure that the guy they are dating has solid plans to settle down someday and they are top on that plan especially now when commitment scares a lot of guys

simplepee:
God bless you sir. The only wise man on this thread so far.

GODPUNISHUNA:
I wonder why our African women are so desperate for marriage. Ladies in the west could care less

pcguru1:
I think it's pointless to be in a relationship if the goal is only marriage, that's how I see it better to be single.and soar your oaths. Its just dating for dating sake

uche393:
and they end up marrying under 25 when they are 65

repogirl:
Just here to wish a Happy Birthday to your Madam . It might be belated now though.
I'm happy you're in a great place at the moment, following your diary because I like aproko.

saucecode:
See tory for village square meeting you that announces the food you eat and drink you drank, even announce when u finish secretary meeting, na your marriage wey pipo don bully u endlessly on you no go come announce? You?

We are waiting for the electric shock eee

apokan200:
Mehnn there was this lady I was dating then when I was in 200l and she just dey collect my money she didn’t give me pussy Bleep mehnn for good one year Naso she broke up with me sha saying I only wanted sex although I know she was using me I just want to Bleep her once because I know she was seen this banker too then and that one was sure guy she was thinking she is gonna marry because her friend told me and I have seen then together too.but 4 years after I left uni we reconnected she came to my house and when she got in and realized I’m doing fine she started talking about marriage oo,she said she isn’t ready To waste her time Anymore that within 6 months We must to engagement omo she was so serious within 2 days she insisted I speak with her mum and me no send because I know say it’s time to get that Pussy wey she don use suffered me back then,nah so I Dey play along me self I was doing like nigga who is so ready for marriage,she got my dad number from my phone and started talking to my dad,mehnn my dad even said I should bring the lady home since we ain’t living in same state.within a week see Bleep every time like � after 2 weeks of intensive Bleep I just changed it for her,marriage ko wedding ni after niggas don do you anyhow and I was doing lover boy back then in uni you refused to let me in mehnn I collected my share of the p***y sha .

Ulunne777:
She doesn't know her worth. She is pushing your bro away with such behavior.

Men chase us we don't chase them.

We have retired from the game

zuby4real10:
She was so desperate to the extent that even if she wants to give or collect something from me she has to kneel small. Always calling me her husband. She is more than 100% nice and submissive.she is the only lady that I have ever see that didn't wait for her man to introduce her to his family. I don't even know how she got my mum's number nd start communicating with her. I single handed sponsored her 3 years NCE education. From the comments I am seen here on nairaland is as if as I am the only man that sponsored a lady's education with out regrets uptil date. My only problem with this lady is that she and her family are so poor to the extent that they see me as their meal ticket, as if as am the best thing that ever happens to them. I thinked about the liability of marrying this girl and her family own I run. Uptil now the lady is still waiting and begging for me to come back. She is always asking what she did wrong. I beg I no fit kill myself, love and loyalty alone can not sustain a marriage cos they can't pay bills.

Xj2020:
Yes. In my own case she deliberately got pregnant for me and I had no choice than to marry her thinking it was right thing to do. See my story below https://www.nairaland.com/5922955/how-cope-ill-mannered-housewife

If you are good you are good, and if you are bad you are bad. You might hide your bad side for a while. However, it is only a matter of time before everything would come out to the open. The Big Brother Show is a perfect example.
My story is that of a young chap that fell in love and got married to the women of his supposedly dream with kids. From day one till date, my beloved wife has been anything but a good housewife. She doesn't give me peace of mind. Always looking for ways to provoke me.
My wife isn't submissive. She is abusive and unappreciative of all I have done and have been doing for her and the children. This is even though the financial burden of the house has been mine 100% from the beginning to date. This is a woman that does not want to do any kind of work if it is not a government job. I have provided her with everything she asked for and even those things she didn't ask for. This woman has never lacked anything in my house to date
My beloved wife insults me in the presence of our kids. Mind you, I don't smoke, drink, and womanize. Neither have I laid my hands on her or intend on laying my hands on her. This is a woman I help with house chores like sweeping, washing the bathroom and toilets, and mobbing the house at my leisure time.
This woman has taken sides against in the time past when I had a misunderstanding with some persons outside. This woman isn't scared to insult my parents every time we have a misunderstanding. My mother-in-law isn't helping matter as she has continued to instigate her daughter against me.
I have finally decided to move out of the house for the now and see how things play out. If things don't improve, then I would have no choice than to seek divorce. Notwithstanding, the children would continue to be my responsibility.
Mature advice would be highly appreciated.

Any matured advice would be highly appreciated from the house.

It would interest the house to know that I am under 40 years old and a PhD. D holder in XXXXX in one of the foremost and most prestigious Federal University in Nigeria where I lectures. I have a First honours in XXXXXX in the same university. I was among the top three best graduating student in my Department and was adjudged best student in WASCE during my secondary school days; Best graduating student in my Department at the OND level before seeking and gaining direct entry admission into a Federal University; Won an award for best student at the 300 level in my Department that year. I was a committed member of Deeper Life despite coming from a Muslim. I still remember how my brother and I used to sneak out the house just for rehearsal that year. I was a member of the youth choir that year and I can still remember playing an active role in evangelizing and teaching search the scripture that year. I still remember going to music class that year and playing an active role in my school fellowship. Everything I am experiencing today is 100% my fault. How could I have fallen in love so blindly and got married to a member of a sect called "Grail Message: In the Light of the truth" without a comprehensive background check. Yes, she got pregnant for me outside wedlock which I take 100% responsibility for but still I shouldn't have allowed her cajoled and pushed me into marrying her talk less of having a court wedding. Do you know that this woman is holding on to the fact that she has children for me and that we did court wedding to do whatever she liked with full support from the mum. Do you know that this woman is very good at reporting everything that happens in my home to her mother? She wants a government job and nothing else. I tried my possible best to get her into my institution without success and she knows this. A woman that has never lack anything since we got married but has never been grateful for once in her life for all I have done to keep the home running. A woman that sees the family problem as solely my problem. I have been a member of Nairaland for years but decided to open this account to keep my identity private. I know for sure that if she happens to stumble on this thread she would definitely put 2+2 together to arrive at the conclusion that I am behind this thread. However, I do not care what she thinks or do anymore. I have already told her yesterday that I am through with her and I mean it. I still believe however that it isn't too late to change the narrative of my life. For all the guys’ out there forming 'I am in love' please and please open your eyes before you take that step to settle down with the woman of your dream as that lady could either make or mar you for life.

SocialJustice:
You made a mistake by dating a poor girl, maybe you enjoy how her family worships you. This might sound hard but the truth is you should endeavour to date only girls that are in same income bracket with you. You don't get to see a lot of shit unlike when you're dating a low/no income girl. Don't let her big yansh or breast fool you. There are also high earning big yansh and breast.

The only draw back with educated, high earning girls in most cases is they see themselves as your equal.

lordally:
It's not true...it's 50 50 ....cos even some girls without primary School cert still sees themselves as equals God help us my brother

MrBachelor:
3 times they tried to con Mr. Bachelor into marriage, and 3 times he escaped their snares.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Be there and be acting saintly like you don't crave marriage.

In an hour time, I'll see you disturbing my Whatsapp status about how good girls are scarce and how you are searching for the ONE.

Your hypocrisy stinks to the highest heavens.

MrBachelor:
Young lady I have no idea of what, or whom, you are talking about.

If you want number, ask me straight. If you fine, I fit reason you. No come dey yan wetin no follow.

UyaiIncomparabl:
STFU and check my DP, oga. Or, don't you know who this is? Do you want me to open your yansh?

You come here dey feign ignorance like say you no know who I be or wetin I dey talk. MrBachelor my ass. Abi mai post our last chat make you know who you dey follow dey yan? Or make I tag your other moniker since you no want make your other "redpill" brothers gloat at you or tell you say you be "simp"?

UyaiIncomparabl:
STFU and check my DP, oga. Or, don't you know who this is? Do you want me to open your yansh?

You come here dey feign ignorance like say you no know who I be or wetin I dey talk. MrBachelor my ass. Abi mai post our last chat make you know who you dey follow dey yan? Or make I tag your other moniker since you no want make your other "redpill" brothers gloat at you or tell you say you be "simp"?

MrBachelor:
I am too old for this kind of conversation, girl. I won't waste my time over a frivolity.
Go ahead and do whatever gives you orgasm, but be assured this is the last time I will quote you.

Do take care.

UyaiIncomparabl:
STFU and check my DP, oga. Or, don't you know who this is? Do you want me to open your yansh?

You come here dey feign ignorance like say you no know who I be or wetin I dey talk. MrBachelor my ass. Abi mai post our last chat make you know who you dey follow dey yan? Or make I tag your other moniker since you no want make your other "redpill" brothers gloat at you or tell you say you be "simp"?

Goalnaldo:
open him nyash abeg. I'm bored this morning.

Prettyvirginia:
Thank you hun. That's a very soothing advice from you. I have lots of pressures but i try to manage them. My education is Paramount to me right now. Every other thing will wait

Blackmoran:
Yea my ex..... She came all the way from benue to leave with me, every day she keeps bombarding me with pictures of people wedding, fantasising on babies and us having kid together... Though this girl was cool she is homely can cook clean and kind of intelligent to spice it up my family loves her so much especially my dad, she has this free spirit personality.. But my instinct wasn't good with the idea it was too good to be true.. And secondly I wasn't ready financially to take on the burden of marriage but this girl never mind.... During December she travelled with my junior sister to his home town, to cut the story short I followed my instinct and today am a surviver of what would have given me heart attack....... During the thick of the moment she started showing are true colour, that homely girl started showing arrogant trait, the change was fast that I thought this can't be true... I did the right thing I broke up with her... Though my dad was sad about it but I let him know I know her more Than Them and what she portray is not who she is... A week after we brokeup my junior sister gave me the shocking news of my life.... That my ex was pregnant. . I didn't believe her cause We haven't had sex up to 4 months meaning when she was with me she was banging another dick... I waited till eight month later to find out she gave birth to a baby boy...and here let me burst your brain the father of the baby was my best friend who I trust so much...na that one pain me pass ... Lesson when a girl is trying to rush you into marraige run for your life.... If you want to get married do it at your convenient time... All girls would be at there good behavior during courtship, this one even take it to the extreme she even dey cut grass for compound... Na after marriage woman go show you are real colour....

Xj2020:
Yes. In my own case she deliberately got pregnant for me and I had no choice than to marry her thinking it was right thing to do. See my story below https://www.nairaland.com/5922955/how-cope-ill-mannered-housewife

If you are good you are good, and if you are bad you are bad. You might hide your bad side for a while. However, it is only a matter of time before everything would come out to the open. The Big Brother Show is a perfect example.
My story is that of a young chap that fell in love and got married to the women of his supposedly dream with kids. From day one till date, my beloved wife has been anything but a good housewife. She doesn't give me peace of mind. Always looking for ways to provoke me.
My wife isn't submissive. She is abusive and unappreciative of all I have done and have been doing for her and the children. This is even though the financial burden of the house has been mine 100% from the beginning to date. This is a woman that does not want to do any kind of work if it is not a government job. I have provided her with everything she asked for and even those things she didn't ask for. This woman has never lacked anything in my house to date
My beloved wife insults me in the presence of our kids. Mind you, I don't smoke, drink, and womanize. Neither have I laid my hands on her or intend on laying my hands on her. This is a woman I help with house chores like sweeping, washing the bathroom and toilets, and mobbing the house at my leisure time.
This woman has taken sides against in the time past when I had a misunderstanding with some persons outside. This woman isn't scared to insult my parents every time we have a misunderstanding. My mother-in-law isn't helping matter as she has continued to instigate her daughter against me.
I have finally decided to move out of the house for the now and see how things play out. If things don't improve, then I would have no choice than to seek divorce. Notwithstanding, the children would continue to be my responsibility.
Mature advice would be highly appreciated.

Any matured advice would be highly appreciated from the house.

It would interest the house to know that I am under 40 years old and a PhD. D holder in XXXXX in one of the foremost and most prestigious Federal University in Nigeria where I lectures. I have a First honours in XXXXXX in the same university. I was among the top three best graduating student in my Department and was adjudged best student in WASCE during my secondary school days; Best graduating student in my Department at the OND level before seeking and gaining direct entry admission into a Federal University; Won an award for best student at the 300 level in my Department that year. I was a committed member of Deeper Life despite coming from a Muslim. I still remember how my brother and I used to sneak out the house just for rehearsal that year. I was a member of the youth choir that year and I can still remember playing an active role in evangelizing and teaching search the scripture that year. I still remember going to music class that year and playing an active role in my school fellowship. Everything I am experiencing today is 100% my fault. How could I have fallen in love so blindly and got married to a member of a sect called "Grail Message: In the Light of the truth" without a comprehensive background check. Yes, she got pregnant for me outside wedlock which I take 100% responsibility for but still I shouldn't have allowed her cajoled and pushed me into marrying her talk less of having a court wedding. Do you know that this woman is holding on to the fact that she has children for me and that we did court wedding to do whatever she liked with full support from the mum. Do you know that this woman is very good at reporting everything that happens in my home to her mother? She wants a government job and nothing else. I tried my possible best to get her into my institution without success and she knows this. A woman that has never lack anything since we got married but has never been grateful for once in her life for all I have done to keep the home running. A woman that sees the family problem as solely my problem. I have been a member of Nairaland for years but decided to open this account to keep my identity private. I know for sure that if she happens to stumble on this thread she would definitely put 2+2 together to arrive at the conclusion that I am behind this thread. However, I do not care what she thinks or do anymore. I have already told her yesterday that I am through with her and I mean it. I still believe however that it isn't too late to change the narrative of my life. For all the guys’ out there forming 'I am in love' please and please open your eyes before you take that step to settle down with the woman of your dream as that lady could either make or mar you for life.