₦airaland Forum

@sammysage
I am replying to this post because this would've been me but I remember I got the push after reading "Think and Grow Rich" and "You can if you think you can". One other thing that helped me is that I liked football so my friends will always come and call me out from my house.

I joined my mum in her biz in marketplace and that helped me again. But still yet, the live is still with me. One thing I never allowed to get to me is depression and suicidal thoughts. I tell them bigger than them.

Your kind of life is good for a programmer, freelancing. Unfortunately, you don't take beer; I do, and it make me have friends that would want to hang out with me.

Oh! Before I deviate, I will recommend you head over to YouTube and search for motiversity and motivationhub. You'll get words that will pull you out from your shell. Careless about what people will say about you and never ever be afraid to fail.

Flush out the suicidal thoughts from you, develop a thick skin over it. I'm currently typing from my house and I've stayed here all these lockdown without friends safe for my neighbors that call me out in the evening.

I use my time for reading and online biz. Never say never mahn, brace up and face your fears. Fear no one, you may actually be better than those interviewers that make you shiver. Do your thing and mind no one. You'll come out better.

Keep strong bro

NairalandSARS:
Social anxiety disorder.
Buy paroxetine 20mg and watch your life change.

Op, don't take this drug without a professional advice from a medic.

CyberEBOLA:
Hahahaha! We are not too different.
We are about same age
I have never had a GF
I have no real job
I have no friends
Family members are not close
I stay alone in a selfcon

The only main difference between us is that I LOVE BEING ALONE.

Infact, there was a time i was indoor in my flat for 2months(no physical contact with anyone), those were the best days of my life(not joking).

Infact, socializing with people (especially physically) makes me feel sick, I become weak allover.

I used to love being alone. Not anymore.

monichannel:
@sammysage
I am replying to this post because this would've been me but I remember I got the push after reading "Think and Grow Rich" and "You can if you think you can". One other thing that helped me is that I liked football so my friends will always come and call me out from my house.

I joined my mum in her biz in marketplace and that helped me again. But still yet, the live is still with me. One thing I never allowed to get to me is depression and suicidal thoughts. I tell them bigger than them.

Your kind of life is good for a programmer, freelancing. Unfortunately, you don't take beer; I do, and it make me have friends that would want to hang out with me.

Oh! Before I deviate, I will recommend you head over to YouTube and search for motiversity and motivationhub. You'll get words that will pull you out from your shell. Careless about what people will say about you and never ever be afraid to fail.

Flush out the suicidal thoughts from you, develop a thick skin over it. I'm currently typing from my house and I've stayed here all these lockdown without friends safe for my neighbors that call me out in the evening.

I use my time for reading and online biz. Never say never mahn, brace up and face your fears. Fear no one, you may actually be better than those interviewers that make you shiver. Do your thing and mind no one. You'll come out better.

Keep strong bro

Thanks much for this.

Oluromantic:
I dey live for okunola bros. Im depressed too I no need the beer. But that bolded one, I need yellow or light brown weh thick and clean. How we go see this evening bros?

so obo ni problem ehn?? werey ni bobo yiisha

ForestHill:
Op, don't take this drug without a professional advice from a medic.

Why?

Let me add that I was a very shy guy..sometimez depressed 'cos I experienced rough times when I was younger. My parents too dey blame. They prefered my siblings to me (so I thought). I later joined a group, deeperlife school outreach. .. there, they groomed us to go out and preach. That was where I got my victory. My chains fell off. I came alive. Mind u I had one big boil in my ear that was so visible, that too, scared people away. But I overcame. Bros OP, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE TO HIM THAT BELIEVETH. I drop my pen.

NairalandSARS:
Why?

This

Baba go and download mr bean movies as many as you can, watch it daily, I assure you, u will learn how to enjoy your own company, and build your confident in no time

ForestHill:
This

That is the standard side effect of antidepressants.

NairalandSARS:
That is the standard side effect of antidepressants.

I know. He might overdose/ get addicted to the pill, due to the positive results. He should be well guided. Thanks for your time.

ForestHill:
I know. He might overdose/ get addicted to the pil, due to the positive results. He should be well guided. Thanks for your time.

20mg is the starting dose.
Only a fool would overdose on paroxetine.

sammysage:
I stay alone in a single room apartment...face me i face you set up.

You have to put in alot of effort bruh..... Try to engage in discussion with other occupants of the house. You can begin by borrowing a few things from them and returning them promptly. When you hear anyone discuss politics or any area of your interest, you can also chip in your thoughts.

Since you are a sport enthusiast, look for the closest community football pitch and join them every evening. By 7pm, return home, have your bathe and freshen up. If it interests you, you can take about 15 mins walk around and approach ladies (2-3 per day), strike a convo and get their number. It's easy.

seanwilliam:
so obo ni problem ehn?? werey ni bobo yiisha

mo need e gan. Oloun

I'm in same shoes though I don't have a sucide thought, my father was the caused he had always locked us up at home not allowing us to mix up with the other kids, selecting people we should move out with, funny enough those guys we looked as bad influence are the ones doing so well now . We were just 2 kids, and our age difference was 6 years apart so every one was practically on his own, we can be at home for a month without coming out. So back in school I hardly made friends, I was enjoying my own company. I didn't even attend our final year week it was as bad as that; when everyone was out there having fun and taking pictures I still regret it till date. I didn't even make a 2.1. I knew people who made first class and still had all the fun.

I graduated 2012, I haven't worked anywhere. Just hustling here and there, actually I did yahoo but I stopped I had some conscience, mercenary for exams, finally bet9ja. I don't even have a gf not that ladies aren't showing interest actually I'm good looking is just that I'm not financially buoyant to keep a gf, actually I will want a working class lady, but why would a working class lady want a jobless guy. I'm still looking for a job; I studied Mechanical engineering with a master degree.

Bro, you not alone. My reason of not mixing up with former classmates now is because they are doing well in their various career but I'm not.

My advice to the younger folks make friends as much as you can- the good, bad and ugly it doesn't matter. I have a former classmate who is in the US now courtesy a friend had back in the undergraduate days and he financed everything.

OP,

Whatever you do, please don't do drugs or abuse substances. You can hang out with friends and still not drink. I know guys who go out with other guys that are brewery. It's a matter of conviction.

I came across this number, don't know if nairaland permits this but see anyway
Nigerian Suicide Prevention Initiative
Hotlines: + 234 806 210 6493.

Please don't give in. When you hit rock bottom, there is no place else to go but up. Yes you need human interraction but please exercise caution so you don't get mixed up with the crazies. It could get worse.

Just be optimistic, I hope you find a job to keep you occupied and meet people. And believe in yourself, make conscious effort to socialize and stop over analyzing things. Before you know it, this phase of your life will become history. Happy breeze directed at you, brother. You are alright.

Good people of Nairaland, please help one of ours again. A job will make a huge impact. He needs to be busy. God bless us all.

sammysage:
My Siblings don't really have my time again...I have tried several times to reconnect. They don't bother to call back. Same thing with my former classmates. They're too busy to reply my messages. I don't really blame them, cos I wasn't close to any of them back then in school. I have been considering counseling for some time now, but I don't really know how to go about it, as the practice isn't really that common in Nigeria.

YEA! I DIDN'T WANT TO DROP MY THOUGHTS BUT I COULDN'T HOLD IT EITHER.

THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW.

YOU WERE BORN ALONE. YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULD COME FROM INSIDE YOU. ENVY NO MAN. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF ABOVE ALL. IT'S YOUR DUTY TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. STOP EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM PEOPLE. AND KNOW THIS" AS LONG AS THINGS AIN'T WORKING OUT WELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS WILL RUN AWAY" BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT "NO BURDEN"
I USED TO FIDGET BEFORE PEOPLE TOO BUT THAT'S BYGONE NOW. I COULDN'T STAND BEFORE MY CLASS ONCE TO SOLVE A MATHEMATICS PROBLEM NOT BECAUSE I WASN'T GROUNDED BUT BECAUSE I WAS SCARED. THIS IS WHAT MY PAPA TOLD ME" THEY ARE NOT GODS, THEY ARE HUMANS LIKE YOU WITH ONE HEAD. YOU GOT TO PROVE THEM WRONG BROTHER. YOU ONLY NEED PEOPLE FOR CONNECTION BUT NOT TO BE HAPPY. YOU COULD BE IN A NOISY CROWD AND STILL BE LONELY.

I'M JUST LIKE YOU BROTHER BUT PEOPLE SEEK ME OUT BECAUSE TO THEM AM JUST LIKE A PUZZLE.
I SEE GREATNESS IN YOU PLEASE BECOME THAT SOMEONE THAT WILL SHAKE THE WORLD.

YOU ARE SPECIAL SO IT WON'T BE EASY.
IT TAKES LESS TIME TO MAKE NOODLES (JUNK FOOD) THAN A DELICIOUS MEAL LIKE POUNDED YAM AND A SUPERB TRADITIONAL SOUP
LESSON

IMAGINE WHAT GOLD GOES THROUGH BEFORE IT BECOMES VERY PRECIOUS

YOU GOTTA WAKE UP AND SURVIVE

AND LASTLY BELIEVE IN SOMETHING (WHATEVER IT IS AND SERVE IT)
AS FOR ME I SERVE "YAHWEH" THE GOD THAT CREATED ALL THINGS.

DontBullshitMe:
You have to put in alot of effort bruh..... Try to engage in discussion with other occupants of the house. You can begin by borrowing a few things from them and returning them promptly. When you hear anyone discuss politics or any area of your interest, you can also chip in your thoughts.

Since you are a sport enthusiast, look for the closest community football pitch and join them every evening. By 7pm, return home, have your bathe and freshen up. If it interests you, you can take about 15 mins walk around and approach ladies (2-3 per day), strike a convo and get their number. It's easy.

Can I have your mobile contact??

Thanks. I'll put what you have said into practice.

Here is my mail instead. havenhurst8@gmail.com

Please Send me a mail and I will respond with my phone number.

ambr055i:
I'm in same shoes though I don't have a sucide thought, my father was the caused he had always locked us up at home not allowing us to mix up with the other kids, selecting people we should move out with, funny enough those guys we looked as bad influence are the ones doing so well now . We were just 2 kids, and our age difference was 6 years apart so every one was practically on his own, we can be at home for a month without coming out. So back in school I hardly made friends, I was enjoying my own company. I didn't even attend our final year week it was as bad as that; when everyone was out there having fun and taking pictures I still regret it till date. I didn't even make a 2.1. I knew people who made first class and still had all the fun.

I graduated 2012, I haven't worked anywhere. Just hustling here and there, actually I did yahoo but I stopped I had some conscience, mercenary for exams, finally bet9ja. I don't even have a gf not that ladies aren't showing interest actually I'm good looking is just that I'm not financially buoyant to keep a gf, actually I will want a working class lady, but why would a working class lady want a jobless guy. I'm still looking for a job; I studied Mechanical engineering with a master degree.

Bro, you not alone. My reason of not mixing up with former classmates now is because they are doing well in their various career but I'm not.

My advice to the younger folks make friends as much as you can- the good, bad and ugly it doesn't matter. I have a former classmate who is in the US now courtesy a friend had back in the undergraduate days and he financed everything.

We sound so much alike. Same thought, same experiences.

PeacenLove2:
OP,

Whatever you do, please don't do drugs or abuse substances. You can hang out with friends and still not drink. I know guys who go out with other guys that are brewery. It's a matter of conviction.

I came across this number, don't know if nairaland permits this but see anyway
Nigerian Suicide Prevention Initiative
Hotlines: + 234 806 210 6493.

Please don't give in. When you hit rock bottom, there is no place else to go but up. Yes you need human interraction but please exercise caution so you don't get mixed up with the crazies. It could get worse.

Just be optimistic, I hope you find a job to keep you occupied and meet people. And believe in yourself, make conscious effort to socialize and stop over analyzing things. Before you know it, this phase of your life will become history. Happy breeze directed at you, brother. You are alright.

Good people of Nairaland, please help one of ours again. A job will make a huge impact. He needs to be busy. God bless us all.

I have never thought of taking drugs. I haven't even taken Panadol for more than 15 years. Thanks for the advice and wishes.

nniero11:
YEA! I DIDN'T WANT TO DROP MY THOUGHTS BUT I COULDN'T HOLD IT EITHER.

THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW.

YOU WERE BORN ALONE. YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULD COME FROM INSIDE YOU. ENVY NO MAN. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF ABOVE ALL. IT'S YOUR DUTY TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. STOP EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM PEOPLE. AND KNOW THIS" AS LONG AS THINGS AIN'T WORKING OUT WELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS WILL RUN AWAY" BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT "NO BURDEN"
I USED TO FIDGET BEFORE PEOPLE TOO BUT THAT'S BYGONE NOW. I COULDN'T STAND BEFORE MY CLASS ONCE TO SOLVE A MATHEMATICS PROBLEM NOT BECAUSE I WASN'T GROUNDED BUT BECAUSE I WAS SCARED. THIS IS WHAT MY PAPA TOLD ME" THEY ARE NOT GODS, THEY ARE HUMANS LIKE YOU WITH ONE HEAD. YOU GOT TO PROVE THEM WRONG BROTHER. YOU ONLY NEED PEOPLE FOR CONNECTION BUT NOT TO BE HAPPY. YOU COULD BE IN A NOISY CROWD AND STILL BE LONELY.

I'M JUST LIKE YOU BROTHER BUT PEOPLE SEEK ME OUT BECAUSE TO THEM AM JUST LIKE A PUZZLE.
I SEE GREATNESS IN YOU PLEASE BECOME THAT SOMEONE THAT WILL SHAKE THE WORLD.

YOU ARE SPECIAL SO IT WON'T BE EASY.
IT TAKES LESS TIME TO MAKE NOODLES (JUNK FOOD) THAN A DELICIOUS MEAL LIKE POUNDED YAM AND A SUPERB TRADITIONAL SOUP
LESSON

IMAGINE WHAT GOLD GOES THROUGH BEFORE IT BECOMES VERY PRECIOUS

YOU GOTTA WAKE UP AND SURVIVE

AND LASTLY BELIEVE IN SOMETHING (WHATEVER IT IS AND SERVE IT)
AS FOR ME I SERVE "YAHWEH" THE GOD THAT CREATED ALL THINGS.

Thanks for the inspirational words.

JOACHINpedro:
Take your jogging to the field. You will in time begin to socialize with guys there

reminds me of Forrest Gump.

sammysage:
I can say I have suffered from depression most of my life. And speaking of life, I have never really had one.

I grew up in a strict family background, though from a broken home. I can't really say me being the way I am was the fault of my dad due to the fact that my other siblings turned out well.

I'm very quiet to a fault, don't talk much. Always prefer my own company. I always get jealous and feel bad when I see people around me flowing well with each other. I have tried to make friends to no avail.

I have never had a close friend. Although I have had series of romantic entanglements that never seemed to last more than months. My girlfriends always ends up leaving because they feel i don't love them or want them around. Which is most times not the case, I just have trouble expressing my love to them. I stopped dating for more than 8 years now, I have been single since then. I am 30 years old currently, yet I am still single. I have so far lost the courage to even walk up to a girl or maintain a conversation with a girl online.

I'm really depressed. I am all alone. I have no friends, no love. And no close family ties as I'm not close to my siblings. Nobody calls me or chat with me. I'm all alone.

I have no job, never had a job in fact. Graduated since 2014, yet no job. I always flop at the interview stage not for being incompetent but for the inability to express myself coherently. Speaking with people I don't know tends to make me uncomfortable, tense and twitchy. I really don't know what to do. I have mainly survived on freelance jobs online which really doesn't pay much, but enough for my low key lifestyle.

I am highly depressed and lately thoughts of just ending it all has been entering my mind. I have tried various self helps, but nothing seems to be working.

I really need a life, but I just don't know how to go about getting it. First I need advices. I need a job. I need friends, close friends I can mingle with. Friends willing to call and check up on me. Friends to motivate me when I'm down and depressed. Friends to drag me out of my shell and never give up on me.

I need people around me or else I might just get mowed down by depression and end it all. I know most of you here would say suicide is not the solution, yeah I know that...but sometimes it just feels so easy to just let it all go.

Please come to my rescue, I would really hate to follow that path.

P.S I need a job, where I won't be placed on the hot seat at the interview stage. I don't mind the pay. I just want something doing, something that takes me out of the house everyday. A job that keeps me so busy that I don't have the time to entertain suicidal thoughts. A job that gives me the opportunity to meet and mingle with people and with time help me pull out of my shell.

Please if you can help in any way, directly or through recommendations. It would go a long way. I'm Lagos based.

Join a church group and be attending their meeting and participating in their activities, or join an NGO or development program group as a volunteer and participate in their activities, it will give you the chance to mingle more with people and improve your mental health. Unless you are an introvert by nature, going through life alone will cause depression. Only people who are naturally used to being alone by themselves will be able to cope and not breakdown mentally. Another thing you can do is give birth to a child, a baby will give you happiness

sammysage:
Yeah, mostly reading and jogging.

Good. Jogging is one of the best ways to manage depression. Don't relent, make sure you run everyday even when you don't feel like it.

Openbusiness:
Join a church group and be attending their meeting and participating in their activities, or join an NGO or development program group as a volunteer and participate in their activities, it will give you the chance to mingle more with people and improve your mental health. Unless you are an introvert by nature, going through life alone will cause depression. Only people who are naturally used to being alone by themselves will be able to cope and not breakdown mentally. Another thing you can do is give birth to a child, a baby will give you happiness

Thanks. You made me smile for the first time today. The idea of me giving birth to a child sounds ludicrous. I don't even have a girlfriend...and even if I do have one, I don't think she would agree to get pregnant for a jobless dude. My online incomes are barely enough for me to pay my rents and bills as well as have a little savings. Definitely not enough for a family of three.

sammysage:
I can say I have suffered from depression most of my life. And speaking of life, I have never really had one.

I grew up in a strict family background, though from a broken home. I can't really say me being the way I am was the fault of my dad due to the fact that my other siblings turned out well.

I'm very quiet to a fault, don't talk much. Always prefer my own company. I always get jealous and feel bad when I see people around me flowing well with each other. I have tried to make friends to no avail.

I have never had a close friend. Although I have had series of romantic entanglements that never seemed to last more than months. My girlfriends always ends up leaving because they feel i don't love them or want them around. Which is most times not the case, I just have trouble expressing my love to them. I stopped dating for more than 8 years now, I have been single since then. I am 30 years old currently, yet I am still single. I have so far lost the courage to even walk up to a girl or maintain a conversation with a girl online.

I'm really depressed. I am all alone. I have no friends, no love. And no close family ties as I'm not close to my siblings. Nobody calls me or chat with me. I'm all alone.

I have no job, never had a job in fact. Graduated since 2014, yet no job. I always flop at the interview stage not for being incompetent but for the inability to express myself coherently. Speaking with people I don't know tends to make me uncomfortable, tense and twitchy. I really don't know what to do. I have mainly survived on freelance jobs online which really doesn't pay much, but enough for my low key lifestyle.

I am highly depressed and lately thoughts of just ending it all has been entering my mind. I have tried various self helps, but nothing seems to be working.

I really need a life, but I just don't know how to go about getting it. First I need advices. I need a job. I need friends, close friends I can mingle with. Friends willing to call and check up on me. Friends to motivate me when I'm down and depressed. Friends to drag me out of my shell and never give up on me.

I need people around me or else I might just get mowed down by depression and end it all. I know most of you here would say suicide is not the solution, yeah I know that...but sometimes it just feels so easy to just let it all go.

Please come to my rescue, I would really hate to follow that path.

P.S I need a job, where I won't be placed on the hot seat at the interview stage. I don't mind the pay. I just want something doing, something that takes me out of the house everyday. A job that keeps me so busy that I don't have the time to entertain suicidal thoughts. A job that gives me the opportunity to meet and mingle with people and with time help me pull out of my shell.

Please if you can help in any way, directly or through recommendations. It would go a long way. I'm Lagos based.

let me see your pix first, if you are too ugly, i can't relate with you, and If you are too handsome, I can't as well

Tsolutionifede:
let me see your pix first, if you are too ugly, i can't relate with you, and If you are too handsome, I can't as well

I'm just a regular average dude.

What do you have against ugly and handsome peeps if I may ask.

Hi bro.

I would advise you to see a therapist. Talk to someone. It helps.

All will be well with you.

ambr055i:
I'm in same shoes though I don't have a sucide thought, my father was the caused he had always locked us up at home not allowing us to mix up with the other kids, selecting people we should move out with, funny enough those guys we looked as bad influence are the ones doing so well now . We were just 2 kids, and our age difference was 6 years apart so every one was practically on his own, we can be at home for a month without coming out. So back in school I hardly made friends, I was enjoying my own company. I didn't even attend our final year week it was as bad as that; when everyone was out there having fun and taking pictures I still regret it till date. I didn't even make a 2.1. I knew people who made first class and still had all the fun.

I graduated 2012, I haven't worked anywhere. Just hustling here and there, actually I did yahoo but I stopped I had some conscience, mercenary for exams, finally bet9ja. I don't even have a gf not that ladies aren't showing interest actually I'm good looking is just that I'm not financially buoyant to keep a gf, actually I will want a working class lady, but why would a working class lady want a jobless guy. I'm still looking for a job; I studied Mechanical engineering with a master degree.

Bro, you not alone. My reason of not mixing up with former classmates now is because they are doing well in their various career but I'm not.

My advice to the younger folks make friends as much as you can- the good, bad and ugly it doesn't matter. I have a former classmate who is in the US now courtesy a friend had back in the undergraduate days and he financed everything.

Brother your success will come in God's time and you will regret nothing any more. Focus and look up to God.

sincerely, I believe you should try teaching job in a type of school that allows for extra curricular, no matter what type of person you are, if you choose to help these young ones, you will not know how you will gradually transform although, the workload and payment may not tally but do it for a while to get yourself back. please you are still important to us help us not to type what ought not to be . thanks.

Guy inbox me your number.

nniero11:
Brother your success will come in God's time and you will regret nothing any more. Focus and look up to God.

Amen , I believe God has a time for everything .