sunshineV:
She'll still get the D from an outsider. Marry at ur own peril

my brother marraige na scam, me I don't plan on getting married cos these recent times are scary

paulolee:

yea, i kno where you are coming from but i jus dnt buy dt idea of my partner having a male Friend because some guys are jus too desperate....

Does marriage mean she sacrifices her life? Are you allowed female friends?

emerged01:
Though I’m not against it but I believe as one is growing in marriage there is a stage you will get to you won’t have single ones as friends. I believe this is just a matter of time.

Marriage Counselor Mentality

abysirius:
Hi Nairalanders,

Greetings to everyone in the house. Trust we are all enjoying the weekend. As regards to the above-mentioned subject. What is your take on this? Would u allow your partner have a close friend that is of opposite sex? Briefly give your reason (s) and state what you believe should be the ideal arrangement in a family setting.

I was listening to a program on the radio earlier this morning on Raypower FM before power outage. However, I have to put it on this platform out of curiosity to know how we feel about it. Personally, it is a capital NO for me. But of course, one of the 2 callers that called in before power cut termed it as insecurity as nothing seems to be wrong with the idea. Do you agree?

Mod pls help push this to the front page. Thanks.

Na for clap den dey enter dance but that doesn't mean we dont have disciplined persons, just be careful and dont let handshake past the wrist.

abysirius:
And what about you? You seem to be sounding like u're sexually attracted to her and for me that's why I wouldn't advise..

I do understand my place in her life at the moment and I know she wouldn't mind breaking it off If I disturbed her. Her friendship has proven to be worth more than sex and I'm ready to respect myself to keep it.

pappilo:


Never! It is never okay if one of the 'friends' is in any sort of relationship.

My ex-wife started off as friends with a colleague. But once she started hiding to take calls from him, it was obvious this was more than friendship.

Like a bad Nollywood movie, I ended up out of my own home, sleeping in a freaking cold garage that had been converted to a single room while her friend ended up in my warm bed and became the de facto dad to my kids.

Fear women o!

This are one of the reasons why I love to stay married in Nigeria rather than the other side. Such can never happen last last na me go throw her out

IamDavid:

I'm sorry to say this but the Man (now husband) didn't do well... "She threatened to call off the marriage"... This statement is driving me crazy... like... well, it's not my business but honestly, accepting such treats from spouses isn't good enough.

not like a threat, threat, she said she'd rather call it off if he can't stand her being friends with me.

But then, it's all about worth.

When you trust your woman and love her too, there are exemptions you'd be willing to make to keep her, especially if it doesn't hurt anybody.

Opposite sex ke. No oh. Its a risky something. Anything can happen. boys are not smiling.

frozen70:


There is no way people in marriage will stay away from being friends with the opposite sex

Unless as a woman you are a full time house wife and doesn't have any reason to go out beyond food market

It all depends on self discipline

If a woman is happily married and the husband loves her, she wouldn't have a good thinking towards having opposite friends as to keep them and talk adult talks which normally results to and end up dating

As for men, they have an oat to cheat by default, even when he is married to the most beautiful and loyal wife. So men's case is just a different thing

They go as far as approaching a pregnant woman and assure her that he will wait when she puts to he

In this topic, the problem here are the men, they can't just stop lusting on women, ring or no ring

You are talking in the Rubbish

It never works! Marriage counselors have noted that most infidelity issues begin with "He was my male friend..."

Let no man encourage this. Females, same for you.

paulolee:
not even alllwed for my girl to try that when we are dating not to talk of courtship or marriage..
the only male friends that my girl or wife is allowed to have are my brothers and her blood brothers and also her cousins aint allowed too..
Reasons- girls having male friends and besties have done more harm than good in relationship...thats my opinion, thank u

but u are allowed to have female friends shey

Atlanticfire:


Get solar panels, battery and inverter. Then you can stay anywhere where the rent is affordable.

You can expand the solar systems in future if you don't have enough money now

How much is the Inverter, Battery and Solar??

Bestie things it all depends on partner only faithful one can keep it

...Those who are saying it does not matter.Hope they won't come and tell us tomorrow saying ''e don happen''.So I'm here & now "Egungun be careful,na expess you dey go......''

mcdokwe:
not like a threat, threat, she said she'd rather call it off if he can't stand her being friends with me.

But then, it's all about worth.

When you trust your wan and love her too, there a exemptions you'd be willing to make to keep her, especially if it doesn't hurt anybody.

It's alright. Afterall in reality, it's all about boundaries. Once the boundaries are well set (in the minds/heart of each of them) there shouldn't be any problem.

Such a relationship is simply known as in most cases as Emotional cheating,

MATURELION:
my brother marraige na scam, me I don't plan on getting married cos these recent times are scary

eh! who will take care of you

ojuu4u:



why cant u be close friend to the guy u are dating, you want to eat ur cake and also have it. let us learn how to hold on to the principle/ettiquete of marriage.

Does marriage implies a pause to one's existence?

Liposure:
eh! who will take care of you

same way peope who can't find love do it.. you don't need someone to take care of you at old age especially if you spent all time during your youth making money and having investments , children do abandon thier homes you know

You are not hear that Bestie, Bestie are lead to shift pant?

mcdokwe:

Well, he knows the worth of the lady he's about to marry.

Pesin wen you done kpsnsh finish?

And you yourself didn't discover that worth enough to marry her?

Simps allover the place!

Thane:
No

nawao
please can people quote this comment with places on the Lagos mainland with steady power supply. I'm planning to relocate but power is important to my decision. Cost is also a factor
Also, if you are looking for a flat to stay in Ibafo, I have an empty room in a 3-bed. flatmate needed 70k

New oko oba, puposola, abule egba. Very steady light

EngineerBode:
As a newly married person, you should keep less single friends. Same or opposite. Focus on your family

Don't mind those flirts that are manipulative. They will say you are not matured enough for them to keep friends of the opposite sex. Cheating is not only sleeping around. Comparing your partner to your friend of the opposite sex is cheating. Ignoring advice or instructions from your partner because the opposite sex friend said otherwise is cheating. Your husband or wife plan something with you, you go tell your opposite sex friend about it. The opposite sex friend says he/she does not like it, then you go back and tell your husband/wife that you are not going with the plan is cheating

Very insightful and apt. Nothing in natural sense can be truer than this!

GboyegaD:


Does marriage implies a pause to one's existence?

How stopping to having male besties pause ur life ooo


You guys should stop hiding under one finger. As you are growing older in life, you will be passing different stages of life, each stage of life must define how you will handle it, provided you want to succeed in that area. ...

The type of friends one moves with when one is a teenager must different from wen one is adult, ......the one you closed with wen u are single must be different from wen u married, ( male or no male).


..........I will advice u to allow your wife to follow her male friend to nightclub and wen she is coming back home around 2am, you should be the one to open door for her.....................at least its a free world, marriages is not synonymous to slavery.



..lunatics everywhere.

DIVINEEVIDENCE:


Pesin wen you done kpsnsh finish?

And you yourself didn't discover that worth enough to marry her?

Simps allover the place!

I swear. Just imagine someone choosing friendship over marriage, a male friend over her husband. She de threaten the guy say she go cancel the wedding because of friendship.

That guy should be given medal of honor for being a weakling.

Chai.

skyhighweb:
but u are allowed to have female friends shey

female frienda for what?? am prone to temptations and thats why i would cut them off before getting married..

once there is fidelity, and learn how to over come sexual temptation.

When it comes to marriage or would-be-marriage relationship, the question of BOUNDARY sets in.

Both partners must realise they are no longer 2 but 1 and therefore, the friends of each other's previously collapse to become "our friends". Hence, we say friends of the couple but unfortunately this is no longer the practice as modern individuals now possess individual friends despite being married or engaged which had resulted into EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY (is not only 'dickology + virginalogy' that makes you cheated but when you crave psychological attention towards another).

The truth is, FRIENDSHIP is not the problem but BOUNDARIES. Marriage requires BOUNDARIES and when you disbodey this all inthe name of FRIENFSHIP, the resultant effect is suspessions, assumptions leading to fighting, querrels and domestic violence whether the friendship of female-male, male-female, male-male and even female-female. Of course this is so as we now have lesbians and gays despite being married or in courtship.

So, having friends despite being married or committed is not the problem, but insincerity of humans. As a married or relationship-committed lady or guy, who do you give your ATTENTION? After work hours, where do go and who are you always with: friends or your partner? Even in the same home, marriages are collapsing because ATTENTION are shifted toward FRIENDS all in the name of SOCIAL MEDIA (Facebook, messages, WhatsApp, Instagram, FaceTime and whatever). Almost everyone has given in to the power of the serpent (remember the old serpent who tricked EVE at the garden of Eden).and you do not just eat the FRUIT immediately, he/she is waiting...

If our generation must survive in marriages and relationships, it's time to realise once you married or committed, you no longer individually have friends but family friends and even at that, BOUNDARIES comes in.
Truth, do you expect your wife to be taken by her ex to an eatery and old feelings will not rise? You chat and throwing attention day and night outside your relationship/marriage (buy lunch, gifts for ladies as a man or eat lunches, accepts gift as a lady) and you expect no chain reaction? Come on, humans are not woods.

Be it as it main, once you are married or in serious courtship, set BOUNDARIES and keep your HEART in your partner. Do not rationalize lust (do not forget "only those who you know can harm you and your destiny).
Wisdom, they say profiteth

abysirius:
Hi Nairalanders,

Greetings to everyone in the house. Trust we are all enjoying the weekend. As regards to the above-mentioned subject. What is your take on this? Would u allow your partner have a close friend that is of opposite sex? Briefly give your reason (s) and state what you believe should be the ideal arrangement in a family setting.

I was listening to a program on the radio earlier this morning on Raypower FM before power outage. However, I have to put it on this platform out of curiosity to know how we feel about it. Personally, it is a capital NO for me. But of course, one of the 2 callers that called in before power cut termed it as insecurity as nothing seems to be wrong with the idea. Do you agree?

Mod pls help push this to the front page. Thanks.

If women want to manipulate you, they will tell you that you are insecure.

Can you set limits and boundaries?Can you resist temptations at their slightest appearances if they come?Would your husband or wife approve of such?What kind of man or woman is he or she,that is your friend?Does he or she fear God?What is the tone of your conversation with him or her?How often do you meet?All these must be on your checklist to stay above board?