Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Auladimeji(m): 5:18pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
I keep telling people that it's better to keep northerners as friends than Igbos An average Igbo hates Yoruba but they can't do without Yoruba. Many igbos are just Yoruba land but still hates us with passion
Op,your parent did well,I can never allow any of my family to marry from Igbos family. It's disastrous 1 Like |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Judybash93(m): 5:20pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
Phenom10101: I can never marry a Yoruba woman, The are too treacherous . And Yorubas don't like us Igbos, If you have stayed with them you will understand. They are too greedy and the can't be trust worthy. All of them? |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Judybash93(m): 5:21pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
Auladimeji: I keep telling people that it's better to keep northerners as friends than Igbos An average Igbo hates Yoruba but they can't do without Yoruba. Many igbos are just Yoruba land but still hates us with passion
Op,your parent did well,I can never allow any of my family to marry from Igbos family. It's disastrous Ki lo n seyin gan? |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by debasco1(m): 5:25pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
superemmy: Good Morning Nairalanders,
I'm writing this with a bit of pain and anguish. First off, let me begin by stating that I'm an Igbo guy mid to late twenties, working in a good company, well to do and capable of providing for a family. I'm dating a Yoruba girl who's also in her early twenties. We've been dating for close to three years now.
I love her, I know her family and they know me likewise. I've always been afraid to approach my family especially my mother because I know that they are (Igbo tribalists) forgive me for using the word.
But their belief in the "nothing comes out good of a relationship between the two cultures (igbos and yorubas)" is so strong that I've been forced to seek out help online.
My Dad is a lawyer while my Mom is a Business woman. Knowing my Dad, I expected him to have an open or liberal mind towards my relationship.
I was suprised to find out otherwise because as at this morning, I called for a meeting I've been dreading, to inform them of my decision to marry my girlfriend.
The tempo started low with me explaining and justifying the need for me to have my relationship with my girlfriend ending with a proposal for marriage.
Well after I spoke, my Dad, to my utmost surprise started illustrating about the clash of the two cultures and the waywardness of the Yorubas as a whole, we ended up having a heated argument as to me defending my girlfriend and her people that my Dad has no right to judge an entire race while citing bad examples.
It didn't go well with my Mom adding her icing to the tussle of words.
The meeting did not go well this morning.
Do I pray to God to soften their stance towards my girlfriend just because she is Yoruba.
Please what do I do? My girlfriend is really the best person I've ever met. I know it sounds cheesy.
I even went as far as telling my mom that my girlfriend is pregnant for me which she is not by the way.
My mom said, well she should bring the baby and we'll train the baby but the marriage is a no go discussion area and I should not even think of introducing my girlfriend to them.
We are all christians, we attend the same Redeem church both I the girl and her family. I'm not too churcheous while my parents are both Deacons and Deaconess' but my parents have a strong stance towards this just because she is Yoruba.
Please I'm not hoping to stoke a tribal war issue here Sensible nairalanders advice me, I can bear insults too but help.
cc mods farano, Rocktation
Your parents are not only tribalistic, they are racist. |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Homeboiy: 5:27pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
I was pained when I left north cos my intentions was to marry a Fulani girl. I will still go back to complete my mission. |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by OnyeMmeri: 6:00pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
chatinent:
We believe the bible as God's authority and marry only people who share our beliefs. It's called obedience. But one thing is certain, we love our neighbours, even those who don't share our beliefs (that's why we come knocking on your door whether come sun or rain). I'm sure you're aware of the fact that the OP's parents can also back up their stance with a quotation or two from the same Bible where God admonished His people, the Israelites against marrying from foreign tribes such as the Canaanites, the Amalekites, the Hitites, etc. Anyone can interpret the Bible in a way that'll suit their doctrines. We shouldn't always take the literal meaning of certain scriptures. One thing I know for certain is that, in the today's world, all forms of discrimination should stop. |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Hisduchess(f): 6:29pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
superemmy: Good Morning Nairalanders,
I'm writing this with a bit of pain and anguish. First off, let me begin by stating that I'm an Igbo guy mid to late twenties, working in a good company, well to do and capable of providing for a family. I'm dating a Yoruba girl who's also in her early twenties. We've been dating for close to three years now.
I love her, I know her family and they know me likewise. I've always been afraid to approach my family especially my mother because I know that they are (Igbo tribalists) forgive me for using the word.
But their belief in the "nothing comes out good of a relationship between the two cultures (igbos and yorubas)" is so strong that I've been forced to seek out help online.
My Dad is a lawyer while my Mom is a Business woman. Knowing my Dad, I expected him to have an open or liberal mind towards my relationship.
I was suprised to find out otherwise because as at this morning, I called for a meeting I've been dreading, to inform them of my decision to marry my girlfriend.
The tempo started low with me explaining and justifying the need for me to have my relationship with my girlfriend ending with a proposal for marriage.
Well after I spoke, my Dad, to my utmost surprise started illustrating about the clash of the two cultures and the waywardness of the Yorubas as a whole, we ended up having a heated argument as to me defending my girlfriend and her people that my Dad has no right to judge an entire race while citing bad examples.
It didn't go well with my Mom adding her icing to the tussle of words.
The meeting did not go well this morning.
Do I pray to God to soften their stance towards my girlfriend just because she is Yoruba.
Please what do I do? My girlfriend is really the best person I've ever met. I know it sounds cheesy.
I even went as far as telling my mom that my girlfriend is pregnant for me which she is not by the way.
My mom said, well she should bring the baby and we'll train the baby but the marriage is a no go discussion area and I should not even think of introducing my girlfriend to them.
We are all christians, we attend the same Redeem church both I the girl and her family. I'm not too churcheous while my parents are both Deacons and Deaconess' but my parents have a strong stance towards this just because she is Yoruba.
Please I'm not hoping to stoke a tribal war issue here Sensible nairalanders advice me, I can bear insults too but help.
cc mods farano, Rocktation
I simply pity your wife to be cos entering a family where they don't like you is always a nightmare for the woman cos when the challenges of marriage rears its head,it's often very difficult for the lady to fight cos oftentimes the mum will give the lady real stress,she can easily convince you the son to be on her side cos by then the ball of the marriage is on your side as the man.if you can SINCERELY stand for this woman when marriage challenges starts rearing its head up,then go ahead and marry her,they will come around when they see that you ain't changing your mind, but if your love for this woman is shaky please allow her to go cos the fight ain't gonna be an easy one for you and her(I'm from Anambra state,so you prolly understand why I really pity her cos I know our people).las las she go cry for some time and God will bless her with someone even better.so take out time and talk to your parents,in fact be very emotional when telling them about your choice whilst calling the holy spirit of God to help you talk to them.I pray they understand and allow you marry your choice. God help you 1 Like |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Kwinesther: 6:42pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
chatinent: Redeem Church did not stop the racism? I love my own religion; we don't to racism. Proudly JW. I wish I knew what to say but since it's more of a racial thing, I'd rather I learn from comments. But Jehovah witness society as you people call it don't marry outside your church. Am I wrong? |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by superemmy(m): 6:46pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
OnyeMmeri:
I'm sure you're aware of the fact that the OP's parents can also back up their stance with a quotation or two from the same Bible where God admonished His people, the Israelites against marrying from foreign tribes such as the Canaanites, the Amalekites, the Hitites, etc.
Anyone can interpret the Bible in a way that'll suit their doctrines. We shouldn't always take the literal meaning of certain scriptures.
One thing I know for certain is that, in the today's world, all forms of discrimination should stop. I swear that is exactly what my Dad quoted this morning about Israelites and Egyptians, I began to qyestion him on who are the Israelites and the Egyptians in his quotation |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Jerryolumide(m): 7:24pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
superemmy:
I swear that is exactly what my Dad quoted this morning about Israelites and Egyptians, I began to qyestion him on who are the Israelites and the Egyptians in his quotation lol your dad is funny? But ain't we all one in Christ |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by EmmaNuella77(f): 7:52pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
chatinent: Redeem Church did not stop the racism? I love my own religion; we don't to racism. Proudly JW. I wish I knew what to say but since it's more of a racial thing, I'd rather I learn from comments. You love your own religion? No be still the same Christianity? Hiann.! |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by EmmaNuella77(f): 7:54pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
To think that OP's parents are church leaders. Smh. The body of Christ need to become unified o. |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by Ayomiposi001: 8:03pm On Jul 21, 2020 |
No worry Yourself Nwanne, my parents too are just like yours. I simply refused to marry anyone. Na Dem begin beg me later, when I introduce that same girl, they accept am one hand. 3 Likes |
Re: My Family is Tribally Prejudiced Towards the Lady I Want To Marry. Please Help by ChiChilolo(f): 7:50am On Jul 23, 2020 |
Auladimeji: I keep telling people that it's better to keep northerners as friends than Igbos An average Igbo hates Yoruba but they can't do without Yoruba. Many igbos are just Yoruba land but still hates us with passion
Op,your parent did well,I can never allow any of my family to marry from Igbos family. It's disastrous igbos don't hate yorubas. Just that some yorubas have similar attitudes. |