₦airaland Forum

UDUJ:
Good. Take it as lessons learned. You are wiser now. Cheers

Thanks

Obingene:
Just negodu..... Look at young people playing ping pong with their lives.

You are just 21. I'm 27, staying alone and.... Never mind.

Wish you d best.

I'm not 21!! I was when I had a son.
I'm 25

lefulefu:
whatof the son she birthed for u?
who is looking after the boy after falling out with the mom?
though all this drama could have been avoided using a condom
i dont know why many guys dislike condoms

That's not the problem, my son is my source of joy and I love him with everything. If let with the choice to make the same act over again and go through all I did just to have him, I will.

The point I made is the fact that she cheated and that has nothing to do with my son.

My son is with them, I'm responsible for him and as well visit frequently. I also engage in video call with him at least thrice a week.

Mtola8:
That's not the problem, my son is my source of joy and I love him with everything. If let with the choice to make the same act over again and go through all I did just to have him, I will.

The point I made is the fact that she cheated and that has nothing to do with my son.

My son is with them, I'm responsible for him and as well visit frequently. I also engage in video call with him at least thrice a week.

well if u dont trust her anymore and u cant be with her cos of the cheating then just make her a baby mama and marry the lady of ur choice but please and please always send money to ur son for his upkeep.

lefulefu:
well if u dont trust her anymore and u cant be with her cos of the cheating then just make her a baby mama and marry the lady of ur choice but please and please always send money to ur son for his upkeep.

I do not only do that, I visit and always make him feel my presence. I really do love him and will do anything for him.

EAhumble:
please do or you will end up raising another beast

Another beast?

So OP is the other beast?


Whats with the derogatory use of words?


Are you ....are you...are you normal at all?

SweetCunt97:
It was probably the devil or she was just too naive. Forgive and give her a second chance. Remember God said we should give as he forgives us our trespasses

Jesus!! So you can advise like this?

Can you do such in OP shoes?

luminouz:
Another beast?

So OP is the other beast?


Whats with the derogatory use of words?


Are you ....are you...are you normal at all?

I understand what he meant!! There are many guys out there that are beast like and we are seeing news of so many things.
Another beast- like another guy who maltreats ladies or see them as less

luminouz:


Jesus!! So you can advise like this?

Can you do such in OP shoes?

It's easier to advice when not in ones shoe. She might mean well

luminouz:


Jesus!! So you can advise like this?

Can you do such in OP shoes?

I've forgiven cheating partners in d past. The ones who felt bad o not the ones who wanna claim alpha or right.

luminouz:
Another beast?

So OP is the other beast?


Whats with the derogatory use of words?


Are you ....are you...are you normal at all?

I never said the op is a beast, i was actually refering to myself.

SweetCunt97:
I've forgiven cheating partners in d past. The ones who felt bad o not the ones who wanna claim alpha or right.

Lol...in that case,thats good.

EAhumble:
I never said the op is a beast, i was actually refering to myself.

Oh...ok...


My bad

You have given off a lot family ish in your responses,amongst which is that your parents are not together and that your dad did not remarry and he gave his all in your upbringing.
Do you see the cycle repeating itself in your life? Look at this perspective and let it guide you in assessing your decision going forward.

Lots of love and best regards

nigerianoakman:
You have given off a lot family ish in your responses,amongst which is that your parents are not together and that your dad did not remarry and he gave his all in your upbringing.
Do you see the cycle repeating itself in your life? Look at this perspective and let it guide you in assessing your decision going forward.

Lots of love and best regards

I gave those info out cause it's an anonymous platform, having such cycle go on is also what I'm scared of. Thanks for the advise

Mtola8:
I'll try to be short and brief.
I met my ex-fiancee when I was a student and she was seeking admission, I wasn't emotionally available then as I wasn't the type who goes into a relationship since I got all the sex I needed through FWB. I had a soft spot for her as she lost her virginity to me, is the church type, beautiful and has so many attributes.

She got pregnant few months after we met, I was an undergraduate and I didn't know what to do, we tried all we could to get it off but it didn't, she used different drugs, took injections and even went as far as going for D&C but the doctor stopped along the line that something is blocking her womb. I took it up on myself to stand by her since I loved her and also the paternity of the child isn't an issue.

She was scared and couldn't tell her brother, I also was scared and couldn't tell anyone at home, I travelled to Lagos so I can raise some money, my phone got spoilt during that period and I had to put my sim in my sisters phone, so I can communicate with her.

She passed out one day cause she wasn't going for antenatal neither was she receiving any treatment cause she was scared of letting her people know, she was also fond of breathing in so as not to let her stomach visible. They go to know when she was rushed to the hospital and I was called but my sister picked up and she told me everything.

I spoke to her mum and assured her I was going to show up as I wasn't around, though they were skeptical and didn't believe cause of the rumors they had about me been a bad boy and all sort( which wasn't true). I later showed up and saw and accepted everything. We rented an apartment for her so as to shield her from ridicule.

My sis, mum, step-brother and I decided to keep it away from dad cause of my school( Bad idea). They didn't help out and I was left to face it alone( only helped in rare situations) I stood by her and made sure thing didn't go south, made sure she wasn't thinking and she also felt loved. I was 21 then!! Her stomach is still a lil bit rough due to child birth, she had tears during delivery, she even aborted for me twice after and I decided just to be cool with her for all what she went through, I dedicated my all cause I didn't want her to cry or regret all she did.

To cut the long story short, after giving me a boy, she took care of him for a year then moved on with her life by seeking admission, I let go off my life style cause I didn't want her to feel bad, didn't want her to be ridiculed, didn't want all her effort to end in years, I stopped socializing and never had female friends so as not to find myself in tight situations.

She went to school and cheated in less than a month, she felt bad and told me, I felt bad, I thought she was infallible, untouchable. She was always in my plans and I did all I could to make her comfortable, I already took her for a wife but I was mistaken. She opened up to me but instead lied she was forced, abused and raped thrice (by one guy).

The story didn't add up and I decided to pester her but she insisted she was forced. I then did something stupid but it made the truth known, I logged in her Facebook and messaged the guy(she told me his name), I wanted to hear his part and not just take sides, I played on her psychologically and she fell for it. We were very open to eachother that we knew our Facebook passwords.

I messaged the guy telling him he abused and forced me because he knew I was helpless and had no choice, I even called him a beast. He then replied and I was surprised seeing my ex telling him he isn't a beast that the act was, she also confirmed she consented and wasn't forced in all three attempt. The guy was very confident and I could see the way he expressed himself, he was surprised she could come up with such accusation.

I'm happy it ended this way, I know deep down I gave my all and she might regret her decisions. I can take so many things but not a cheating partner!! I'm pained but just have to stand by my decision. She has being begging for months and even her mum contacted me, but I told her same.

I'm just using this medium to tell people not to act or react to allegations based on emotions, so many ladies are taking advantage of this fact when they mess up to exclude themselves off any fault. I would have had the mindset of that guy being a rapist and even use it against him in future if I didn't disguise to hear his side

I'm good and I've moved on.

I liked that you have moved on. Don't ever take her back, she's a cheat. You might wanna do a DNA check on her to know if he's actually your boy.

nexta007:
Amen.
But I advise that you seek ways of reconciling with his mother for love's and your son's sake. If she declines, then move on. It's MANLY to seek forgiveness and make amends. Frankly, I hate raising my kids by another woman other than my wife... God will help u out bro

I don't advice this @op. Forget her mother of she comes back it will be another episode of cheating... This time you will not figure it out because she will be smarter this time. Don't make that mistake. There are three things that can't be changed, words spoken, death and cheating.

Omar09:
I don't advice this @op. Forget her mother of she comes back it will be another episode of cheating... This time you will not figure it out because she will be smarter this time. Don't make that mistake. There are three things that can't be changed, words spoken, death and cheating.

That's one view I also hold. She's just timid cause maybe she's just starting the game and as such isn't hard hearted about it. She never felt she'd melt when we see and say it all.

I just can't trust her no matter what, no matter what she does, I'll just assume she's saying all what she wants me to know and keeping others like she did before.

Mtola8:
That's one view I also hold. She's just timid cause maybe she's just starting the game and as such isn't hard hearted about it. She never felt she'd melt when we see and say it all.

I just can't trust her no matter what, no matter what she does, I'll just assume she's saying all what she wants me to know and keeping others like she did before.

Bro, your boy can still have the best of life without his mother. Get married to another lady whilst letting her know you have boy from another woman and that your relationship with her would break if she maltreats your boy.

Or don't get married and save yourself the stress.

Omar09:
Bro, your boy can still have the best of life without his mother. Get married to another lady whilst letting her know you have boy from another woman and that your relationship with her would break if she maltreats your boy.

Or don't get married and save yourself the stress.

I'm not the relationship kind of guy from onset. I was just having flings(2015) then I met her, she seemed different and not so long got pregnant. We both went through hell but prevailed, I then decided to calm down and not complicate things for her, I decided to have a change, give her peace of mind, didn't want her to regret her decisions.

I let go of my way of life, I stopped relating or even talking to ladies at all level(even on church) cause I didn't want to get myself in situations I would t be able to handle.

I'm used to my new way of life and do not even relate with ladies, I just need to focus on my life and make money, I might not even get married. If I'm being pressured, I'll just get another baby mama and rest.

She lost not me.

Mtola8:
I'm not the relationship kind of guy from onset. I was just having flings(2015) then I met her, she seemed different and not so long got pregnant. We both went through hell but prevailed, I then decided to calm down and not complicate things for her, I decided to have a change, give her peace of mind, didn't want her to regret her decisions.

I let go of my way of life, I stopped relating or even talking to ladies at all level(even on church) cause I didn't want to get myself in situations I would t be able to handle.

I'm used to my new way of life and do not even relate with ladies, I just need to focus on my life and make money, I might not even get married. If I'm being pressured, I'll just get another baby mama and rest.

She lost not me.

If men will take this resolve, so many bs from women would not be accepted.

The resolve is well accepted by me and other reasonable men, don't go back on it, maintain it. Life is all about discovering oneself and working to reach self actualization. Let me tell you one thing, your parents will not disturb you to get married again at least not soon enough. God bless you and your new resolutions!

Homeboiy:
If you cheat on me, I will never take u back.

God will not let my wife try it cos that ends the marriage.
Nothing can make me change my mind. Even if my kid is a day old, she's going.

Onye nkem etele ejo egwu memu ekirileye .

what if you cheat

Mtola8:
Sincerely!! I'm one person who would rather die single than being a simp. I see taking her back as a sign of weakness but looking at the fact that people I hold in high esteem(my parents, her mum) are trying to talk me back. I don't want a situation where I'm being too stubborn or taking things too far.

I sensed the lies cause what she said wasn't feasible, I decided to also hear from him so as not to hold him for the crime he never committed!! The future is pregnant.

I've no issue with him

Your first line is wrong, in my opinion, i believe if you take her back, she will respect you for that, and that kinda thing would never happen again because she will always remember what her eyes passed through, forgive her and take her back, but that should be after you teach her a good lesson then you have a heart to heart talk with her.

BKsoul:
Your first line is wrong, in my opinion, i believe if you take her back, she will respect you for that, and that kinda thing would never happen again because she will always remember what her eyes passed through, forgive her and take her back, but that should be after you teach her a good lesson then you have a heart to heart talk with her.

Thanks so much ma!! I just stumbled on this as I haven't been checking the progress of the topic. I'll look into it. happy new year.

Mtola8:
Thanks so much ma!! I just stumbled on this as I haven't been checking the progress of the topic. I'll look into it. happy new year.

You should know by now not to take relationship advice from women.
She is advising you out of goodwill, but she herself does not know that by virtue of being female, she lacks the capacity to view relationships from the male existential viewpoint.
Take back your baby mama and it's game over for you. Don't you notice that it's the females in the equation advising you to take her back? They are doing it purely out of love for you, not with any bad intention. But like I said previously, they lack the capacity to give you the advice you need.
Stand by your decision, but if you ever feel the need to seek advice, look to your father, the man will never lead you astray.

No gal stays with one divck all her life...just know that

MrLucifer:
You should know by now not to take relationship advice from women.
She is advising you out of goodwill, but she herself does not know that by virtue of being female, she lacks the capacity to view relationships from the male existential viewpoint.
Take back your baby mama and it's game over for you. Don't you notice that it's the females in the equation advising you to take her back? They are doing it purely out of love for you, not with any bad intention. But like I said previously, they lack the capacity to give you the advice you need.
Stand by your decision, but if you ever feel the need to seek advice, look to your father, the man will never lead you astray.

Thanks so much man, I do not think I can ask my dad such. isn't it better to let her go and just concentrate instead of letting everyone know about it. My mum got to know but begged me to give it a second try. I've spoken to some male figures tho and they have given different opinions and advice.

Mtola8:
Thanks so much man, I do not think I can ask my dad such. isn't it better to let her go and just concentrate instead of letting everyone know about it. My mum got to know but begged me to give it a second try. I've spoken to some male figures tho and they have given different opinions and advice.

Perfect, let her go, concentrate on yourself