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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Age Long Tradition (1238 Views)
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Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 7:52am On Jul 29, 2020 |
Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime. I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love. Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids. She wasn't comfortable with it at all. Her reason is because it only affects women not men. Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways? She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat. Please I need advice. Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:43am On Jul 29, 2020 |
Sirjames001:. She is putting the relationship on hold, until she make up her mind if to go ahead with me or leave. I will accept any of her decision though I love her but what is important to me now is self development. I believe love come when a man is ok. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Nobody: 2:13pm On Jul 29, 2020 |
Why only women?? I just don't fancy 98% of some traditions here. 6 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by mariahAngel(f): 2:35pm On Jul 29, 2020 |
Sirjames001: I'd run and never look back if I were her! What manner of diabolism! Age long tradition y'all's black asses! 5 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by mumumugu(m): 3:55pm On Jul 29, 2020 |
it is fear used to prevent women from cheating in those days. it foes not work 6 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Kobojunkie: 12:38am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001:I believe she is trying to tell you that she wants to be an EQUAL partner in your marriage relationship. Since you have your 'age old tradition' which is one-sided, her blood oath suggestion is meant to even the playing field so she is not left out in the cold, tradition-wise, should you two choose to agree to move forward in the relationship. Your woman is wise there... 5 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Nobody: 1:26am On Jul 30, 2020 |
. 5 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by annex1: 7:10am On Jul 30, 2020 |
The same Akwa Ibom I know? And all the married women in that state are not yet dead? Yes! I mean what I'm implying! 4 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:34am On Jul 30, 2020 |
annex1:yes it exists but it depends on the part of Akwa Ibom |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:35am On Jul 30, 2020 |
NerdyRudeGyal:. I don't believe in those tradition but but suggestions doesn't sit well with me |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:35am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Kobojunkie:. I believe in equity so I don't see reasons why she is panic |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:36am On Jul 30, 2020 |
mumumugu:. It does work believe me |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:38am On Jul 30, 2020 |
mariahAngel:. If you don't plan to be unfaithful in your marriage, then no cause for concern |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 10:39am On Jul 30, 2020 |
StacyO:. I am not in support of it but it is what it is. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by mariahAngel(f): 10:53am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001: Abeg! No be the same Akwa Ibom wey dey throway children say dem be winch? Very diabolical set of humans. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 11:03am On Jul 30, 2020 |
mariahAngel:. Not everyone. Stop the stereotype. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by bukatyne(f): 11:15am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001: This can be twisted right back at you: If you believe in 'equity', do the blood oath while she does your traditional stuff. EOD. 3 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Nobody: 11:24am On Jul 30, 2020 |
. 4 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by frozen70(f): 11:33am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001: You want her to know the consequences of being in an unfaithful marriage, in other words, you want her to be faithful, good She wants a blood oat from you so that you too will be faithful to her and you are scared of it, good My question is, within you, are you ready to remain faithful with just only her in your marriage? If you are ready, take the oat with her and she will keep by the tradition of your people If you know you can't help it, just let her go and get a woman from your town who understands the tradition while you have your freedom to cheat as a man 3 Likes |
Re: Age Long Tradition by frozen70(f): 11:40am On Jul 30, 2020 |
StacyO: In the olden days, men made somany traditions to put women under their control and dictates, which made married women to be under their authorities Men knows that they will always cheat and don't want any man to cheat on their wives, simply because they don't trust their fellow men Now, all those things are fading away. Children of this generation are born and raised outside their village culture and traditions and doesn't understand why all those silly traditions on women should hold in the first place Men on the other side are not really faithful to the traditions their fore fathers set because it comes with some rules and they are not really ready to keep the rules So it's a two way action |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 11:43am On Jul 30, 2020 |
frozen70:. If I have to go under oath to prove my faithfulness and love then I don't have problem with it. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 11:45am On Jul 30, 2020 |
frozen70:you are right |
Re: Age Long Tradition by frozen70(f): 11:46am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001: Thanks |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 11:53am On Jul 30, 2020 |
Kobojunkie:. I am not against taking oath with her but 1 to a learned mind, it doesn't make sense 2: what if I don't meet up with financial obligation in time? |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Kobojunkie: 4:16pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001:Last, I checked, the female species in Nigeria are still regarded as sub-humans in Nigeria, so what I see that she did is try to 'secure' her future should you later change your mind about your 'age-old' tradition. I have heard enough stories of Nigerians going back on their claims in the name of tradition myself, so I believe that taking the oath to reassure her or you could sign an affidavit of sorts to disavow every traditional and cultural idea that creates inequality between your person and your wife. But yeah, I think your wife to be is wise on this one. Sirjames001:What financial obligation? You mean to marry her? Have you two considered registry marriage at all? |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Kobojunkie: 4:18pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001:Then you should open your eyes. Do you know that a majority of your Nigerian men believe in equality but they will never sign to have it made law? |
Re: Age Long Tradition by ednut1(m): 4:31pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
All hogwash. Juju is 98% based on fear. If it doesn't work as usual they will say the woman was ontop and confused the oracle. Nonsense 1 Like |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 4:33pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Kobojunkie:I must do traditional marriage before registry marriage if not her parents won't give consent |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 4:34pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Kobojunkie:. I think that has to do with fear of unknown. I am positive about life so I am not afraid of a lady having equal rights with me or some sort of equity |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 4:35pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Kobojunkie:. This particular tradition works in my State |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Kobojunkie: 4:36pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Sirjames001:So? Then choose, will you continue to remain tied to that which you claim to be against? You know that there is a psychological element to these ideas and beliefs we surround ourselves with. If you are against it, then cut yourself completely from it in all ways possible... distance your person and identity from it, not in what you say, but in deed. |
Re: Age Long Tradition by Sirjames001: 4:37pm On Jul 30, 2020 |
Kobojunkie:. Even though I don't believe in it, I still can't change anything |
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