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My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Annwrites: 11:03pm On Aug 17, 2020
Don't mention.


kenwills:


Thanks for the advice. I appreciate!
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by poiunt: 11:48pm On Aug 17, 2020
Dont be there for anyone that wasn't there for you.

Since you called a meeting and she didn't agree to your suggestion, leave her, block her and move on with your life.

You guys are now strangers...never look for anyone not interested in you even if they are siblings.

If you become successful tomorrow, the only reason they will come for you is to be entitled and give you lot of bills, once you go broke, they move away.

Avoid that sister of yours when poor or rich.

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by poiunt: 11:49pm On Aug 17, 2020
Annwrites:
Your relationship with your sister is presently not healthy. Give her the space she desperately asked for. You deserve better.

Not all relationship with ones sibling is rosy. Go about your life on your own. You could call her once in a while to check up on her. But try not to ask her for anything.

However, try not to hold this against her. Be ready to be there for her if need be in the future.

I disagree totally. Why should a human help someone that wasn't there in the first place
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Jeene(f): 11:54pm On Aug 17, 2020
TransAtlanticEx:
I see,great.
Are your sisters in Nigeria?
If so,How well do they treat poorer men?
If you could be objective and honest about this,then I think I'll change my stance on patterns that occur based on gender.
Because believe it or not,women usually treat poorer men like trash.
I'm sure your sisters aren't married to or have poor men as their last choice.
This is no bias btw...
Should people be treated nicely because they are poor, if a poor man is rude, wicked or a criminal, so people(women) should treat them nicely because of what?
How do poor men treat the poorer people around them?
How did you conduct the survey to prove that women treat poor men as a trash, did you personally conduct the survey? Don't men also treat poor men as a trash or is it only women ?
Why should his sisters marry poor men or have them as an option to prove what exactly to you ?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by TransAtlanticEx(m): 11:59pm On Aug 17, 2020
Jeene:

Should people be treated nicely because they are poor, if a poor man is rude, wicked or a criminal, so people(women) should treat them nicely because of what?
How do poor men treat the poorer people around them?
How did you conduct the survey to prove that women treat poor men as a trash, did you personally conduct the survey? Don't men also treat poor men as a trash or is it only women ?
Why should his sisters marry poor men or have them as an option to prove what exactly to you ?
Whatever... wink
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Jeene(f): 12:05am On Aug 18, 2020
TransAtlanticEx:
Whatever... wink
Yeah whatever, you have no reasonable things to say anyways. wink

2 Likes

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by TransAtlanticEx(m): 12:07am On Aug 18, 2020
Jeene:
Yeah whatever, you have no reasonable things to say anyways. wink
Just not in the mood for back and forth,especially with someone whose got boobs wink
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 12:48am On Aug 18, 2020
poiunt:
Dont be there for anyone that wasn't there for you.

Since you called a meeting and she didn't agree to your suggestion, leave her, block her and move on with your life.

You guys are now strangers...never look for anyone not interested in you even if they are siblings.

If you become successful tomorrow, the only reason they will come for you is to be entitled and give you lot of bills, once you go broke, they move away.

Avoid that sister of yours when poor or rich.


Alright thanks for your contribution.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by etrange: 1:23am On Aug 18, 2020
TransAtlanticEx:
I see,great.
Are your sisters in Nigeria?
If so,How well do they treat poorer men?
If you could be objective and honest about this,then I think I'll change my stance on patterns that occur based on gender.
Because believe it or not,women usually treat poorer men like trash.
I'm sure your sisters aren't married to or have poor men as their last choice.
This is no bias btw...

My sisters treat people the way I do. Our genders don't come in the way we were brought up. Nobody prays for a poor husband but wishing for a comfortable husband doesn't and shouldn't suggest treating poor people like trash. If we disrespect poor people, it would be because we weren't well brought up and not cause they are women.

You get my point? When some men become rich, they trample upon the poor as if they are gods. Likewise some women who treat the poor with disregards. So no gender has a monopoly of that. It's all about the individual.

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Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by spiralwedge(m): 1:44am On Aug 18, 2020
Kenwills, you are lucky she showed her attitude and vocalised it now. Not when you start having kids, and you send your kids to spend a few days with her.

See, cut all ties and ensure to block her on all SM, otherwise she will monitor you. If you end up being successful, she's the type who will, out of envy, write false accusations to your company or church or wherever you are held in high esteem.

However, the reasons i can reckon for her attitude is probably some things that happened while you were growing up together.

Since she's the eldest, she would have been old enough to know those things and you were too young to know or care. Might be some struggles between you lot or it might be parenting defaults or it might be some info she was privy to about your parents. It might also be that a spiritualist has said something about your family and she's trying to do away with further misfortunes by identifying with you lot.

So, find your path bro. Be prayerful and be focussed. Dont forget to watch your back too.

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by olarafiat(f): 3:17am On Aug 18, 2020
I see people miss the point about his sister being like that since childhood.

Up there is an overgrown baby who's dishing red pills about one's sister even subtly saying she wouldn't/ may not have kids and I cringe at the faulty upbringing abi acquired mindset

The way I treat people is a function of my upbringing except you have done something for me to be hostile towards you I see no reason because being hostile is brain tasking and energy draining.

You can't expect to be rude, pesky (at a wrong time/ when I'm in a bad mood) etc and expect me to be nice.

That said, personally I've encountered rich/ OK men that play God and treat others ( men and women alike) like trash. It isn't gender specific to either be nice or unaccommodating
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by femi4: 6:54am On Aug 18, 2020
kenwills:
Hello nairalanders, I've been on this forum for a longtime but I decided to create a new account to remain anonymous.

We are just 3 but my elder sister always feels unconcerned about I and my younger brother to the extent that if I don't call to check on her she never does, she ceases any opportunity to talk bad about me to anyone who cares to listen and since I've been in school, she has never bothered to know who foot my bills, pays my fees nor how I survive. I felt uncomfortable with this attitude because she has been like this since childhood.

So I approached her recently, and asked her why she behaves as though I'm an enemy to her. I made her see reasons why we should lookout for each other and hold no grudges against one another, seeing that our parents is no more. But she flared up suddenly and started shouting at the top of her voice, that we have no business at all and whatever I become tomorrow is none of her business either, that I should stay away from her henceforth cos she's never going to support me in any way.

I was heartbroken to hear what has been on her mind over an unknown issue because I only wanted us to be united as one family. Pls I need your advice, if you were in my shoes what would you do?
These days , siblings don't get along especially when their parents are no more e.g psquare. Worry less, yours will not be the first or the last, mind your biz and concentrate on yourself and nuclear family. Last last, everyone will be alright

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by queenitee(f): 6:55am On Aug 18, 2020
etrange:


Everything is an opportunity for you people to bash women. A lot of elder sisters are the bread winners of their families out there in the absence of their parents but once there's a bad story involving a lady, you guys collectively call them out. You think men would have been any better if all the crimes, rape stories, etc we see on the front page everyday are used to collectively bash the masculine gender? You make exception for mothers as if the girlfriends, sisters and wives aren't the same women that constitute mothers.

If someone does something wrong, call the person out and leave the gender. Sexism is not different from racism.
Bless you
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Annwrites: 7:15am On Aug 18, 2020
Because whether one has been good or bad to you, you owe them kindness.

You shouldn't just do it at your detriment.



poiunt:


I disagree totally. Why should a human help someone that wasn't there in the first place

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 7:41am On Aug 18, 2020
spiralwedge:
Kenwills, you are lucky she showed her attitude and vocalised it now. Not when you start having kids, and you send your kids to spend a few days with her.

See, cut all ties and ensure to block her on all SM, otherwise she will monitor you. If you end up being successful, she's the type who will, out of envy, write false accusations to your company or church or wherever you are held in high esteem.

However, the reasons i can reckon for her attitude is probably some things that happened while you were growing up together.

Since she's the eldest, she would have been old enough to know those things and you were too young to know or care. Might be some struggles between you lot or it might be parenting defaults or it might be some info she was privy to about your parents. It might also be that a spiritualist has said something about your family and she's trying to do away with further misfortunes by identifying with you lot.

So, find your path bro. Be prayerful and be focussed. Dont forget to watch your back too.

Alright thanks for the advice.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by zeenaman: 7:43am On Aug 18, 2020
Your case is better. What if she smiles with you but secretly wants you to fail utterly in life? She sees you as a rival. Maybe she didn't have the chance of going to school and you want her to sponsor you. My own sister once told me that. But when she saw the determination in me, knowing that I was going to make it with or without her, she shamefully supported me with lots of grudges though, and I don't even really value her help. She won't have helped if my success solely depended on her. But she's taking the glory of seeing me through school now.
In life, we have to give up all sense of entitlement. No one is owing anyone anything, except maybe one's parents. But whatever you do, don't break the family tie. Always be peaceful with her

3 Likes

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by poiunt: 7:43am On Aug 18, 2020
Annwrites:
Because whether one has been good or bad to you, you owe them kindness.

You shouldn't just do it at your detriment.




In this world, you dont own no one kindness.

Kindness is only for loyal people and people who support ed you.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 7:43am On Aug 18, 2020
femi4:
These days , siblings don't get along especially when their parents are no more e.g psquare. Worry less, yours will not be the first or the last, mind your biz and concentrate on yourself and nuclear family. Last last, everyone will be alright

OK I'll definitely mind my business. Thanks!
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 7:45am On Aug 18, 2020
zeenaman:
Your case is better. What if she smiles with you but secretly wants you to fail utterly in life? She sees you as a rival. Maybe she didn't have the chance of going to school and you want her to sponsor you. My own sister once told me that. But when she saw the determination in me, knowing that I was going to make it with or without her, she shamefully supported me with lots of grudges though, and I don't even really value her help. She won't have helped if my success solely depended on her. But she's taking the glory of seeing me through school now.
In life, we have to give up all sense of entitlement. No one is owing anyone anything, except maybe one's parents. But whatever you do, don't break the family tie. Always be peaceful with her

Well thought out!
Thanks for contributing.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by zeenaman: 7:52am On Aug 18, 2020

2 Likes

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by spiralwedge(m): 8:39am On Aug 18, 2020
zeenaman:

You have experience, man. I got a job with one big man then just within a few months of my coming to the city. I came to stay with my sister and her husband in the city back then. I thought I had a good and loving sister, since we only spent the early parts of our lives together. I never knew that envy can turn people into the worst unimaginable monsters. My sister was like.. Even married men with families who have been in the city for four years are not earning what the man was paying. She said this bitterly but I didn't take it too seriously ; that innocent trust was still there. Guess what? My sister told somehow that the man will soon sack me because I was too slow and unsmart. I didn't believe that when the person she told related it to me. When I didn't get sacked, my sister called me and was advising me. She said the work looked too stressful on me that I should quit. Hahaha..


Secondly I got admission into polytechnic and university, she advised me to go to poly. I really have a sister o. But
now she's forming the best sister to me. I'm just observing her with interest


Another time, while having serious tasks ahead of me back in school, she insisted I come home for treatment because I was having little fever. Not like she cared o. This life is full of things. You are extremely lucky when you have loving siblings. I have lost trust in her completely. She can never make up for her flaws. She's not even aware that I know her so much. I just act normal
She always wanted to unite with others so that they can hurt me. She told my uncle who was my only pillar when I was in school to stop helping, that I was not the only that needed help in the family. She even said I won't be useful to the family when I make it. I don't understand what I did to her but I never cared to ask or know. Life goes on. But I still love her from my heart. I pray for her always

Goodness me. This is a whole lot, but trust me I've seen worse. But be careful because if you keep screaming "blood is thicker" like most Nigerians do, God help you, may you not end up in grave.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Abdulhakeem78(m): 9:45am On Aug 18, 2020
kenwills:


Thanks bro!
You are brotherly welcome.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 12:57pm On Aug 18, 2020
zeenaman:

You have experience, man. I got a job with one big man then just within a few months of my coming to the city. I came to stay with my sister and her husband in the city back then. I thought I had a good and loving sister, since we only spent the early parts of our lives together. I never knew that envy can turn people into the worst unimaginable monsters. My sister was like.. Even married men with families who have been in the city for four years are not earning what the man was paying. She said this bitterly but I didn't take it too seriously ; that innocent trust was still there. Guess what? My sister told somehow that the man will soon sack me because I was too slow and unsmart. I didn't believe that when the person she told related it to me. When I didn't get sacked, my sister called me and was advising me. She said the work looked too stressful on me that I should quit. Hahaha..


Secondly I got admission into polytechnic and university, she advised me to go to poly. I really have a sister o. But
now she's forming the best sister to me. I'm just observing her with interest


Another time, while having serious tasks ahead of me back in school, she insisted I come home for treatment because I was having little fever. Not like she cared o. This life is full of things. You are extremely lucky when you have loving siblings. I have lost trust in her completely. She can never make up for her flaws. She's not even aware that I know her so much. I just act normal
She always wanted to unite with others so that they can hurt me. She told my uncle who was my only pillar when I was in school to stop helping, that I was not the only that needed help in the family. She even said I won't be useful to the family when I make it. I don't understand what I did to her but I never cared to ask or know. Life goes on. But I still love her from my heart. I pray for her always


That's deep. Thanks for sharing!
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Nicepoker(m): 1:27pm On Aug 18, 2020
Olunmercy56:
embarassed lipsrsealed Just be looking unto God, the Alfa and Omega
Not only alfa. Imam too go join. grin
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by Klass99(f): 1:45pm On Aug 18, 2020
.

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by frozen70(f): 12:07am On Aug 19, 2020
kenwills:
Hello nairalanders, I've been on this forum for a longtime but I decided to create a new account to remain anonymous.

We are just 3 but my elder sister always feels unconcerned about I and my younger brother to the extent that if I don't call to check on her she never does, she ceases any opportunity to talk bad about me to anyone who cares to listen and since I've been in school, she has never bothered to know who foot my bills, pays my fees nor how I survive. I felt uncomfortable with this attitude because she has been like this since childhood.

So I approached her recently, and asked her why she behaves as though I'm an enemy to her. I made her see reasons why we should lookout for each other and hold no grudges against one another, seeing that our parents is no more. But she flared up suddenly and started shouting at the top of her voice, that we have no business at all and whatever I become tomorrow is none of her business either, that I should stay away from her henceforth cos she's never going to support me in any way.

I was heartbroken to hear what has been on her mind over an unknown issue because I only wanted us to be united as one family. Pls I need your advice, if you were in my shoes what would you do?

Am very glad she made it known to you that she doesn't care

You know what, don't excommunicate her but bear in mind that you don't have a sister in her person

Struggle very well so that you don't ever depend on her

Make sure you take your junior one along as you go

A time will come she will need that unity, by then it's your shell she will be dealing with

She is in her own world, watch and see how she is going to swim with out a life jacket

Just ignore her and move on

You don't know her agreement with her gods

2 Likes

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 12:54am On Aug 19, 2020
frozen70:


Am very glad she made it known to you that she doesn't care

You know what, don't excommunicate her but bear I mind that you don't ha e a sister in her person

Struggle very well so that you don't ever depend on her

Make sure you take your junior one along as you go

A time will come she will news that unity, by then it's your shell she will be dealing with

She is I her own world, wat h and see how she is going to swim with out a life jacket

Just ignore her and move on

You don't know her agreement with her gods

You've spoken well!
Thanks for the advice.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by LadySarah: 6:14am On Aug 19, 2020
Jesslove:
I don’t blame her . She don’t want to have anything to do with you cos you are a guy she feels helping you will be pointless cos someday you will get married to a Jezebel who will label her as a witch and you will forget everything good she has done for you. Just be a man and let her be

Haa! Nawaoo!

Op pls don't mind this person.

Just face front and do your hustle. She will call you soon when you blow or maybe she is going through challenges.

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by frozen70(f): 6:55am On Aug 19, 2020
kenwills:


You've spoken well!
Thanks for the advice.

Thanks for the acknowledgement

1 Like

Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by halogate: 8:28am On Aug 19, 2020
hmm...

..my 2coinz?.

.. ask her if she has anything against u...she should let u know so u can make amends.

... whether she voices out or not is left to her...
..tell her ur sorry if uv offended her in the past in anyway.

..and with a clear conscience....

..MOVE THE FK ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!...

.. na she sabi wetin dey worry her.....but let her not use it to frustrate ur life.

#peace
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by kenwills(m): 12:59pm On Aug 19, 2020
halogate:
hmm...

..my 2coinz?.

.. ask her if she has anything against u...she should let u know so u can make amends.

... whether she voices out or not is left to her...
..tell her ur sorry if uv offended her in the past in anyway.

..and with a clear conscience....

..MOVE THE FK ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!...

.. na she sabi wetin dey worry her.....but let her not use it to frustrate ur life.

#peace

I did ask her what wrong I did but she's always in the habit of shouting and saying I have no right to ask her anything.
Re: My Elder Sister Feels So Unconcerned by halogate: 7:46pm On Aug 19, 2020
kenwills:


I did ask her what wrong I did but she's always in the habit of shouting and saying I have no right to ask her anything.

..toh!!
...my brother, move on oooo.
..move on!!
..na one life person get, no waste am on the wrong matter

1 Like

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