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andyanders:
Op, ur wife is surely cheating on u. She took advantage of ur weakness. For a married woman with kid to indulge in such attitude, is an an end to that marriage. Ur life is even in danger as u can contract sickness or she can be manipulated by the any of the guys she is dating to get rid of u.

Most married women has fish brain nd can be taken advantage of once they start having affairs outside.


Op, have u not heard of a married woman, whose husband working with an oil company that was manipulated by her pastor, who planned with the said pastor to wait for her husband on his way to work, he stood by the road and when the husband saw the pastor, he gave him a ride. On their way, the pastor brought out daggar and killed the man, nd set his jeep on fire.

Be wise.

I came across d clip on YouTube

If you can find a way to install secret app to record her calls and track her messages. It is better to have strong evidences before confronting her.

nobone:

Kindly explain how it works.
Will they detach as soon as the husband arrives?

They will never detach. They will forever become a national monument.

Prof0fficial:
what do you expect when you marry a pretty woman. I can't see myself getting jealous for my woman when I'm 100% more cute..

100% more cute?

tell that to Will smith

That's why I will never stay in a different city with my partner.
The distance is what lead to this though am not protecting your wife coz she's unfaithful.
My wife once asked my to traveled out of the country in search of a greener pastures when things were very hard for me, I told her that I can only do that if both of us can do it together.
My reason is that once I travels out the marriage will lose its taste as it concerns fidelity bcus she must cheat and I will do same.
My wife has some bad attitude which am enduring but what I will never endure is infidelity, once she tries that the next thing is divorce,.I use to tell her that bcus I can never share my wife with another man.
I will advice the Op to find an evidence and use it to confront her and the family., pls don't use magun or anything like that, those advice are coming from unmarried ones who doesn't know what marriage is all about.

I would advice you to insert spiritual super glue on her ............ (magun)

Association of weak men. They are always confused! This is suspect no big deal in confronting her for clarification, of course not in violence. I am tired of all this children mind set questions on NL. Be in charge of your home. Stop tuning to public for this kind matter. U are confused to rule a small family. Be a Man bro...

owo8184:
I am a young married man with 2 kids. The marriage is 6yrs now. Due to the situation of the country, we’ve not been staying together. I hustle in a University environment in one of the states in Southwest while she works as a freelance for some organizations in Lagos.

I normally come home (Lagos) on monthly basis. But during this lockdown, I have been in Lagos with my family.

Prior to our marriage, there is this guy she met when we had some misunderstanding. They started a date but later called it off when we settled. She didn’t give me the details but based on what I read on her phone back then, I knew they made out together. The said guy is now in Port Harcourt but I am aware he normally comes to Lagos.

Just today, I heard my wife giving someone a description of where they will meet somewhere in Agege (where she uses as her office). I was curious to know the person. I didn’t ask her because she would find a story to cover up. I found a way to check her phone and saw that her ex - the said guy was the one who called. May I say that we have fought over this guy several times even before and after our marriage. She won’t let this guy be in her past. She’s either calling the guy or the guy is calling her. This time, I chose not to raise my voice but monitor her closely. She left home for work today. I may not be able to give details but every surrounding clue indicates that my wife has a date today. She returned home and I found a way to check her whatsapp but alas she has deleted her chats with the guy.

Just this night again, she received a call from another man asking her when she would come to his office. She once told me that the man was asking her out. In all these, I want to believe my wife is up to something. Infidelity is the last I would accept in this marriage.

Should I confront her with all these observations? Please, I am confused.

DonBenny77:
Chai, sorry man.
To marry no hungry me again sef.....

no be lie guy..marriage matter don tire me self..wahala everywhere.. Make I relax ,enjoy my life ..na baby mama sure pass oo

One hot slap will reset her brains �
Me self, wetin i knw

Brachaa:
With all these evidence you're still there asking what to do? Ok. Keep watching her until she infects you with the dreaded.

I keep quoting one of my pastors who said, eros love (infatuation) flies away after 5 yrs of marriage. Which is true from findings. And the only thing that can keep the marriage going is agape love which many marriages lack today. Reason it is better to marry in the lord and build your marriage on Gods kind of love which helps you stick to your partner good or bad, feelings or no feelings (sacrifice).

Op, call and tell her ( not ask) that you know what she's been up to and any more suspicious moves, you'll call a family meeting and take a decision before she infects you with a disease. Be blunt and stop shaking like a jelly fish.

Madam you are blessed.

Phrankin:
They will never detach. They will forever become a national monument.

L
O
L
Serious case o!

She'll deny if you confront her with your "assumptions". The only way to be sure to have the floor in case you confront her or in case of arbitration is to have incontrovertible evidences handy.

It's certain that you need closure cos as it is you're only at the level of assumption which can be very distressing. Hard evidence will help you to negotiate to the next stage of acceptance and seeking out a solution which could be either your wife accepting her errors, apologising and you both reconciling or outrightly seeking redress in court. Either way, you find closure which helps you to move forward in life without being held back by "I'm not so sure but I'm not happy and so angry right now" thoughts.

There are apps that you can install on her phone that gets your info for you. You must be willing to spend small money which would be cheaper than hiring a private investigator. Monthly subscription varies from 9k to 14k depending on the app. It gets SMS, WhatsApp messages, call records, location, pictures and videos in real time from her phone and keeps 'em stored for you until the time you log in on your computer or your mobile device to access the info. This is a link to just one of about four different types of popular apps.

https://www.hoverwatch.com/

If you want the non-payment option to track only phone calls, there's a free app in the play store for that. But you will need access to her phone each time you wanna transfer (via Bluetooth) the recorded calls and call records to your own device for listening at your secluded time and place.

Search for "call recorder" in the Android play store.

These interventions I mentioned are basically for monitoring minors (children and wards) which was my reason for researching 'em but I guess they can work in your scenario. The only downside is you are liable to prosecution for breach of privacy and unsolicited electronic monitoring (in the case of adults like your wife) and as such they may not be admissible evidence in court. I'm not sure how it works with Nigerian legal system though.

All being said, I pray your have an amicable settlement to this matrimonial wàhálà that will see your kids growing up to see their parents smile, joke and play with each other under the same roof. Even thought there is no relationship without their down moments as we are all human and not infallible but It's always a happy thing to grow up in stable families. Infidelity is one of the painful betrayals to learn about spouses, even something as little as some unknown person or suspect saying "I love you" to your spouse, can create chaos but I guess we all can use some crisis management.

shortgun:
I don't know how u guys manage to live with a cheating wife...ur life is always at risk if u live with a woman that can give herself to another man without blinking.
I feel like to beat the hell out of you from here

Be a man and take charge of ur home....seize her phone and get the password, use force if necessary.

Don't use force on ur wife for whatever reason! Be diplomatic and show her u care, she will tell u d truth.

owo8184:


If I consider beauty, she's the least I would choose for marriage. She was a friend, a Coursemate. I needed more than beauty when I married her. Maybe I chose wrongly

you definitely chose wrongly. E dey pain pass when the person cheating on you is not even up to your standard.

DonBenny77:
Chai, sorry man.
To marry no hungry me again sef.....

When with the very wrong woman especially when your sole attraction was her looks & ignoring some unacceptable traits during courtship. I must tell you, a marriage automatically starts dieing when trust is absent. What has just started with the lady or the imagination of the man would take the grace of God to keep the marriage together.

owo8184:


You have analysed me perfectly bro. I think I am too weak a man. She can easily predict me. She noticed my countenance tonight and started trying to play around me. I have decided I am going back to my work station this weekend without informing her. My present financial situation also doesn't help.

see free meat! Omo, this ex-guy don enjoy him weekend already. Lucky man.

owo8184:


If I consider beauty, she's the least I would choose for marriage. She was a friend, a Coursemate. I needed more than beauty when I married her. Maybe I chose wrongly

Maybe na see finish matter.

Palema007:
Your foundation was faulty. While dating/courting she got intimate with a guy, you guys settled and got married. Did you make sure she cut off the guy before marrying her?

See, while I try as much as possible to be forgiving, two things I don't take is betrayal and cheating. While I may let go of the former with precautions i cant the latter. Cheats don't change! Let no one tell you otherwise, except the person gives his or her life to Christ sha.

Your statement "Cheats don't change" is very true and invalidates what you wrote after it. Which one be give your life to Christ? "Church girl" neva handle before na why... The type wey go fuçk-pray-fuçk × 3 in one night

JerryLekki:
Uncle sir, You are in an open marriage. There is nothing wrong with it. Except your notion that you must not accept it. Probably programmed into you.


Oya, come and swear that since you married, you have not had something with another person. Especially in that university environment that you claim to hustle. Bros, come off it. There are things bigger than your ego

it's so obvious, you are sleeping with people's wife.
All you are trying to do is justify your immoral actions.

Just continue,one day, you will really regret your actions

[quote author=owo8184 post=93548028]

My present financial situation also doesn't help.

I believe you really need to do that bro. Cause I can categorically tell you that was what saved my marriage of 7 years. As I got married to my wife on Dubai and we were there for 5 years and we were pretty comfortable not until we relocated back home and things wasn't as smooth as predicted. She changed drastically but as God will want it I got a job on the Island with an hospitality industry which even the tips dey pay bills and I don't have to even touch my salary and boom everything became normal in a twinkle of an eye.
So my brother I ll advice you work on your financial stand cause without that even if you confront her she might Def have no regret as the other guy might be financially stable.
God bless you Bro.

Bro, sorry for this! U don't need to confront her.but u can act has a dictator.for you to get to the bottom of the this matter!

shortgun:
I don't know how u guys manage to live with a cheating wife...ur life is always at risk if u live with a woman that can give herself to another man without blinking.
I feel like to beat the hell out of you from here

Be a man and take charge of ur home....seize her phone and get the password, use force if necessary.

Are you married?

Why? without her been caught red-handed


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWoeqzjQjj8

That she is seeing or saw her ex doesn't mean she is cheating on you.

Do your investigation and find out if you want to confront her .
If you feel threatened, or do not trust her enough, just sit her down and make things clear to her that you don't want her to be in contact with him in anyway.

But I have to ask .
If she is not cheating on you,
Will this ex help you in any way?

That he was her ex shouldn't make him an enemy of the family.

There is this story of a popular now ex governor, whose family didn't allow him marry his university girlfriend due to political affiliation. He had to marry a daughter of the cabal. The ex girlfriend later married a random guy who the governor eventually offered political appointment to help the ex, their friendship and loyalty got so intense that the governor eventually handed over the state to him. People know the story.

Stop seeing your wife or husband's ex as a problem. Except you married a dog. That's the only animal that goes back to his shit.

Make meaningful relationships out of them. Walk away if you feel insecure. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourselves

owo8184:
I am a young married man with 2 kids. The marriage is 6yrs now. Due to the situation of the country, we’ve not been staying together. I hustle in a University environment in one of the states in Southwest while she works as a freelance for some organizations in Lagos.

I normally come home (Lagos) on monthly basis. But during this lockdown, I have been in Lagos with my family.

Prior to our marriage, there is this guy she met when we had some misunderstanding. They started a date but later called it off when we settled. She didn’t give me the details but based on what I read on her phone back then, I knew they made out together. The said guy is now in Port Harcourt but I am aware he normally comes to Lagos.

Just today, I heard my wife giving someone a description of where they will meet somewhere in Agege (where she uses as her office). I was curious to know the person. I didn’t ask her because she would find a story to cover up. I found a way to check her phone and saw that her ex - the said guy was the one who called. May I say that we have fought over this guy several times even before and after our marriage. She won’t let this guy be in her past. She’s either calling the guy or the guy is calling her. This time, I chose not to raise my voice but monitor her closely. She left home for work today. I may not be able to give details but every surrounding clue indicates that my wife has a date today. She returned home and I found a way to check her whatsapp but alas she has deleted her chats with the guy.

Just this night again, she received a call from another man asking her when she would come to his office. She once told me that the man was asking her out. In all these, I want to believe my wife is up to something. Infidelity is the last I would accept in this marriage.

Should I confront her with all these observations? Please, I am confused.

Ol boy, you want to die for nothing oh.
You are just a little insecure.
Let me tell you, if you allow high BP to kill you, she would be alive to live her life.
My advice is that you leave monitoring your wife and focus on making your home a great one.
I can't tell my wife not to talk to her ex or even hang out with him unless they are going into a hotel room or his house.
Once it's in an open or public place, I don't care.
Get busy and enjoy your wife. If she cheats she will stop you from eating her work.
Be wise man

frozen70:


Honestly, it's not a good experience to.have your wife date another man, men should just avoid anything that will lead her to such life Beyonce they test it out side ,it takes the grace of God to bring her back

Just keep monitoring her until you catch her and that is if you can catch her

Live your life and don't allow her attitude lead you to depression

Every man must make sure his wife doesn't need another man, if her problem is love give her enough, if it's sex give her enough, if it's care give her and if it's attention give it to her

Dont just give her room to get it else where because she will definitely get a better one than yours

Going by this belief system, every wife is already adulterous and this includes the wifes of the equally adulterous men. This would mean that even the man that an adulterous woman looked upon as her more ideal & complete man (than her own husband) could not also satisfy his own wife who is also cheating.
No man can satisfy a particular woman always. But different men can easily satisfy a woman at different times depending on the need of the moment. Will the woman then start jumping from one man to another because she desires to have all her needs met all the time? That will be a terrible life to live.
God himself could not satisfy the woman, He created, how much less man.

bro clone her WhatsApp and try to get her Facebook password. so that you can run check anytime you befit on your own phone


checking her phone will make you lose your self esteem and she might capitalize on this if she get to know you've been checking her phone hence she will be smart to hide many things


don't let her know or even have feelings you're investigating her, just cloned her WhatsApp and have her Facebook password


brother you might not be the owner of all your kids perhaps that's what she and the ex is ironing out, DNA test is imminent

send me her number let confront her my self.....winkzz

alphaNomega:
Your statement "Cheats don't change" is very true and invalidates what you wrote after it. Which one be give your life to Christ? "Church girl" neva handle before na why... The type wey go fuçk-pray-fuçk × 3 in one night

Church girl no mean say you encountered Christ.

The difference is in the encounter

Why are you loose guarding yourself na? Haba! Stop being a weak man. When you don't confront her that makes her feel you are not smart. Learn when to protect your wife against external forces. You have to be in charge and not letting her be in charge.

You can't be a slowpoke by not confronting her. You want her to get too attach with the guy before you act? Just act on time before the guy rubbishes your nacking skills totally. Remember the more chance you give them to meet, the more they get attached. Man up and take charge before it is too late.