₦airaland Forum

Boss13:
Sorry honey, it's still a man's world. Men are only adjusting to make it comfortable for women. Women are yet to reach the intolerable threshold before men call them out on their bullshit. The #Metoo movement is getting men warmed up. I can confidently tell you this. Other societies are steadily observing the decline of the western world and will not copy the template.

Women should exercise their rights, but don't push it further. If you want to make men out as the enemy, please remember the civilization and comfort you currently enjoy were provided by WHITE men.

Mryacks:
You are saying @ 36years old it is"too old" to find a woman and marry......what a pity! Smh

GuyInTheMirror:
HEHEHE Bros na the matter wen dey ground be that o.
You know when man dey hustle na blind hustle so it was difficult to really commit to anybody.
Having said that, I am not saying I want to come and pick a village girl in Nigeria.
I am just saying I intend to come and live like a regular guy in NIgeria, without even showing traces of ever being abroad.

The concerns you have raised are what I am trying to avoid by not dating a naija babe while abroad cos all of them just dey pretend to be saints.

Boss13:
I think I can advise you on this. When you say North America, I believe you are in Canada. Americans don't say North America. Anyways I will say without mincing words, you are not old at all. Even at 40, you are not old. Men age like wine, but women get to hit the wall as they get older. All your options are risky, but option 3 is less risky than others. However, whatever option you choose, do not fail to get a Prenup. You are in the western world where women's rights are recognized more than men. Regardless of the option you pick, have it at the back of your mind that WOMEN CHANGE after marriage. Hence, you MUST PROTECT YOURSELF. Many young men in North America and even Europe are no longer considering marriage and I am sure you have heard of MGTOW or REDPILL and if you haven't, please do - study up quickly and get updated.

Marriage is good, don't get me wrong. However, western values have bastardized the ideals of marriage and replaced it with Hollywood fantasies, add feminism into that equation, what you get is women and men with the wrong beliefs of marriage. You HAVE TO SEEK THE ADVICE OF A DIVORCE LAWYER before you get married. The hourly rate in Canada is between $250 - $500 per hour. Spend the money to listen to how you can protect yourself from marriage before you sign the marriage certificate. If you do not protect yourself you will lose all control regardless of the option you choose.

Also, do not forget the PRENUP I mentioned above. When you start courting your potential wife, ask her about the idea of PRENUP, and listen to her response. If she refuses, move to the next one. In your PRENUP, have your lawyer draft EVEN THE BASIC NECESSITIES such as SEX, the timing, frequency, favorite position, and even hour. Include the consequences, expectations, and financial responsibilities in the event of the dissolution of the marriage. Do not JOKE about this. Inform your potential spouse to have a lawyer review the PRENUP before signing and sign and include her initials on all pages of the PRENUP.

My brother, even after a PRENUP, you are still not safe from a devilish woman. Next, you must set up a mechanism to protect your assets such as incorporating your assets either using an incorporated company or an LLC and transfer all your assets to that incorporation - your house, your car, your investments, and even your savings and have the incorporation borrow these assets for your utilization. For example, if you have purchased your home, transfer it to incorporation (a numbered company is easy to create) and have the company draft a rental agreement recognizing you as a tenant. You pay your mortgage as rental to your company and your company pays the mortgage with the same rental fees from you. Do the same with your car and other investments. Your lawyer can assist you with this. In this situation, no woman can take your property from you. Your company can eject her after the lease agreement is over. These mechanisms MUST have been implemented before you even dream of courting any woman. This means you should have these mechanisms like YESTERDAY.

Don't get twisted with LOVE. Marriage is not love. Hollywood and Advertisement companies created the ILLUSION called LOVE. Marriage is DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY to your family. I am saying this so you don't get stupid picking up your wife and stay stupid in your marriage. Once your wife does not live up to her expectations in the marriage, the consequences in the PRENUP kicks in immediately and you seek redress. Both the PRENUP and SAFETY MECHANISM provides you with a safety net to avoid losing CONTROL in your marriage and lose your asset in the event of a divorce. Oga, don't start saying your marriage will not end in divorce in Jesus's name. That's bullshit and a recipe for DISASTER. You have to plan for it and protect yourself. Even in Nigeria, I know politicians and business moguls who implement the SAFETY MECHANISMS I outlined above.

Finally, I know you are pressured and concerned about marriage. Don't worry. You are the PRIZE. You appear to be well settled and doing well for yourself. Many young women will rush you even in North America but don't be fooled. I don't know if your parents are alive, if they are alive seek their assistant in picking a wife for you. Give them your criteria - Age, Shape, Height, Educational Level, Religion, Tribe, and Skills which includes the ability to cook, clean, and sticking to traditional values. Also, the woman has to be from a stable family and that means both her father and mother are still in their marriage and they are doing well financially, including all her siblings. Do not be an avenue to alleviate anybody from poverty. You might be shocked I said you are the PRIZE. Yes, you are. Women are the PRODUCT and men are the BUYER, if you do not put a ring on her finger, she will NEVER BE MARRIED. Many men do not know this and they keep on SIMPING. Now, do you want to put a ring on someone who would DESTROY you?

You can hit me up for more advice. Don't mind the excessive emboldened words. I want you to note them. By the way, I live in Canada.

Boss13:
You are welcome. Don't forget to seek the advice of a divorce lawyer before you marry. The $500.00 per hour would save you a lifetime of financial difficulties, emotional distress, physical stress, and even jail time. Yes - I said JAIL TIME. If you do not pay child support, child protection services can call the police, take you to court and the judge will send you to jail. I forgot to inform you that you MUST include in the PRENUP who gets to keep the children, custody rights, amount of child support to be paid per month, and alimony in the event there is a marriage dissolution.

I guess you now see the importance of a PRENUP. It is not just a tool utilized mainly by wealthy people. It is an important document for a marriage contract. Do not neglect the alternative option of having your parents pick a wife for you. In my opinion, I think it is the best and fastest option to get married. The Indians and Chinese or Asians utilized the form of marriage (Arranged Marriage) and it works perfectly well for them. When there are disputes and SURELY there will be marital disputes, you can rally around your family for support and also extinguish the fire.

I will repeat again - do not let anybody, including your OWN FAMILY, talk you out of not getting a PRENUP. if she does not want a PRENUP, find someone else who will. If you do not get a PRENUP, you relinquish ALL CONTROL to your wife and automatically become a SIMP. You would live in constant fear throughout the duration of your marriage and only or mostly do things to PLEASE the wife.

Also, utilize your bachelor phase with making friends with the married Nigerian men within your community and seek their opinions, including their marital problems. Though many men don't speak about their marital problems openly, if you are close to them, they would advise you greatly. I wish you that best of luck. If you implement what I outlined, you will enjoy your marriage in the western world, and even if you divorce, your life will not be miserable, at least, not financially. Also, your wife will be committed and submissive because she knows the consequences which are outlined in BLACK and WHITE in your PRENUP.

Oh before I forget - NEVER marry a woman who is above 25 years and try to get a virgin and surely you can if you implement the option of utilizing your parental assistance. Also, to avoid deceit about virginity, include in your PRENUP that the marriage will be instantly dissolved if upon consummation of the marriage you find out she is not a virgin. Oga, don't forget, NO JOKES HERE. This is your life and nobody will live your life for you. Also, consummate the marriage in Nigeria and if she is not a virgin - waka peacefully.

Goalnaldo:
I disagree with you. He should claim what he isn't because he wants to find love? Many people tell me this, that I'm too gentle and good guy that's why I can't get a girl. But the truth is that if a girl can't like me for who I am, she should go. I will not compromise.

GuyInTheMirror:
I live in a black minority city. Infact when I am in public spaces I am usually the only black person, it is that bad.
For joining that kind of church I am yet to see that around me.
What I see are regular christians who mostly dont consider divorce to be a big deal.
Infact the bible study leader in my church has been divorced 3 times.

Boss13:
I don't get into an argument with women and this will be my last take on this. This is not a who's right situation like many women like you typically engage in because it is filled with PURE IGNORANCE.

Please don't get it twisted. It's still a man's world. While we appreciate and recognize the significant role women play, men still dictate largely what goes on and contribute immensely towards our civilization. I will encourage you to study history properly so you understand where your place truly lies and enlighten your IGNORANT SELF. The reason why men or would I say Capitalists allowed women to join the workforce was because of World War II and the unavailability of employable men to join the workforce due to the war. It wasn't an Utopia and that right and the other rights such as the right to vote was handed down to women. Women didn't fight for it - IT WAS GIVEN as a result of the greed and selfish purpose of a few male elites.

What has gotten into your head to think you are EQUAL to a man. Can you say this in the MIDDLE EAST and have your complete set of teeth still intact? Do you think you are physically equal to man? Or have contributed or still contribute towards civilization. Take out government and the police, do you think you can stop a man to take what he wants from you? Have you ever had to think that in the event of a chaos ONLY the strongest survive and weaklings would align cooperatively, either at their own will or not. Have you ever experienced a war situation and ask the women in distress if they think they are EQUAL to men. Don't even look further. I have Syrian friends, Iraq and even Iran who have witnessed chaos - go and ask the women in Maiduiguri or those held captive by Boko Haram whether they think they are EQUAL to a man. What is wrong with you and your mind?

Because there is relative peace in Nigeria, you come on Nairaland to display ignorance and immaturity. You owe it to the men who maintain order in society. What nonsense. It is this behavior that make women begin to get drunk on their stupidity and unable to recognize their ROLE and DUTY in society.

Are you drunk or high on detergent? If men are not careful women will put them under. You must truly underestimate men which is a shame even with the current situation on going in the North. Don't wish for such circumstances and be grateful for what you have. I also hope this is the only forum you get to display this childish behavior. Finally, please conduct more research and stop be ignorant. YOU ARE NOT EQUAL TO A MAN AND YOU WILL NEVER BE. Be grateful, fight for your rights with sense and apply wisdom.

DonroxyII:
Haba, Shogun Laye ni (Life na War ) ... This is like going to War not Marriage anymore ooo ...

Chai, Oyinbo has used Civilisation to bastardise everything .... This is like a War manual , Manoeuvre and counter strategy

Futuragetty:
It's ok to be worried. at least from your post, you seem like a nice guy who wants a blissful marriage. I really don't see any advantage of getting married to a younger woman. The gap is much. like you, My dad wanted the same thing, a younger woman for a wife. It didn't work for him.

I feel you're extremely selective.
I was that way until I found out that you can't really find that perfect partner,
what you need is Someone who would push you in the direction of your dreams, and believe in you more than you have ever believed in yourself.

Do not look for a wife, look for a FRIEND then make her your wife .







And Na 6 Years remain before you clock 40. Please, do not rush. Best wishes!

Fountainofyouth:
The delusions you guys have on here is very funny, so I'd go through the stress of opening an account just to troll you because you are who exactly? Better get your head out of your ass.

Fountainofyouth:
I'm sure if it's on Forbes, you'd be bending over backwards trying to catch up,

I'm warning you, buzz off.

Fountainofyouth:
Not normal at all o, it's the energy that always make me laugh, and they will later call themselves men, lol.

GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.

GuyInTheMirror:
Thanks brother, this was very powerful.

Boss13:
I think I can advise you on this. When you say North America, I believe you are in Canada. Americans don't say North America. Anyways I will say without mincing words, you are not old at all. Even at 40, you are not old. Men age like wine, but women get to hit the wall as they get older. All your options are risky, but option 3 is less risky than others. However, whatever option you choose, do not fail to get a Prenup. You are in the western world where women's rights are recognized more than men. Regardless of the option you pick, have it at the back of your mind that WOMEN CHANGE after marriage. Hence, you MUST PROTECT YOURSELF. Many young men in North America and even Europe are no longer considering marriage and I am sure you have heard of MGTOW or REDPILL and if you haven't, please do - study up quickly and get updated.

Marriage is good, don't get me wrong. However, western values have bastardized the ideals of marriage and replaced it with Hollywood fantasies, add feminism into that equation, what you get is women and men with the wrong beliefs of marriage. You HAVE TO SEEK THE ADVICE OF A DIVORCE LAWYER before you get married. The hourly rate in Canada is between $250 - $500 per hour. Spend the money to listen to how you can protect yourself from marriage before you sign the marriage certificate. If you do not protect yourself you will lose all control regardless of the option you choose.

Also, do not forget the PRENUP I mentioned above. When you start courting your potential wife, ask her about the idea of PRENUP, and listen to her response. If she refuses, move to the next one. In your PRENUP, have your lawyer draft EVEN THE BASIC NECESSITIES such as SEX, the timing, frequency, favorite position, and even hour. Include the consequences, expectations, and financial responsibilities in the event of the dissolution of the marriage. Do not JOKE about this. Inform your potential spouse to have a lawyer review the PRENUP before signing and sign and include her initials on all pages of the PRENUP.

My brother, even after a PRENUP, you are still not safe from a devilish woman. Next, you must set up a mechanism to protect your assets such as incorporating your assets either using an incorporated company or an LLC and transfer all your assets to that incorporation - your house, your car, your investments, and even your savings and have the incorporation borrow these assets for your utilization. For example, if you have purchased your home, transfer it to incorporation (a numbered company is easy to create) and have the company draft a rental agreement recognizing you as a tenant. You pay your mortgage as rental to your company and your company pays the mortgage with the same rental fees from you. Do the same with your car and other investments. Your lawyer can assist you with this. In this situation, no woman can take your property from you. Your company can eject her after the lease agreement is over. These mechanisms MUST have been implemented before you even dream of courting any woman. This means you should have these mechanisms like YESTERDAY.

Don't get twisted with LOVE. Marriage is not love. Hollywood and Advertisement companies created the ILLUSION called LOVE. Marriage is DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY to your family. I am saying this so you don't get stupid picking up your wife and stay stupid in your marriage. Once your wife does not live up to her expectations in the marriage, the consequences in the PRENUP kicks in immediately and you seek redress. Both the PRENUP and SAFETY MECHANISM provides you with a safety net to avoid losing CONTROL in your marriage and lose your asset in the event of a divorce. Oga, don't start saying your marriage will not end in divorce in Jesus's name. That's bullshit and a recipe for DISASTER. You have to plan for it and protect yourself. Even in Nigeria, I know politicians and business moguls who implement the SAFETY MECHANISMS I outlined above.

Finally, I know you are pressured and concerned about marriage. Don't worry. You are the PRIZE. You appear to be well settled and doing well for yourself. Many young women will rush you even in North America but don't be fooled. I don't know if your parents are alive, if they are alive seek their assistant in picking a wife for you. Give them your criteria - Age, Shape, Height, Educational Level, Religion, Tribe, and Skills which includes the ability to cook, clean, and sticking to traditional values. Also, the woman has to be from a stable family and that means both her father and mother are still in their marriage and they are doing well financially, including all her siblings. Do not be an avenue to alleviate anybody from poverty. You might be shocked I said you are the PRIZE. Yes, you are. Women are the PRODUCT and men are the BUYER, if you do not put a ring on her finger, she will NEVER BE MARRIED. Many men do not know this and they keep on SIMPING. Now, do you want to put a ring on someone who would DESTROY you?

You can hit me up for more advice. Don't mind the excessive emboldened words. I want you to note them. By the way, I live in Canada.

GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.

Biglittlelois:
You guys are funny lots sha, dating ladies abroad who are aware of the divorce option is okay to you, but bringing a wife abroad from here who becomes aware of the divorce option is a problem to you, why? Why are you scared of that? If you treat your wife right do you think the thought of divorce will cross her mind? Here you guys behave anyhow to your wife because you know the law favours you, and you still want to continue the stupid intimidating evil behaviour because you feel she owes you for bringing her abroad? Smell the coffee dude, pick a better poison and live humbly with it, or stay single and be a baby papa, the world is full of choices.

Boss13:
You are welcome. Don't forget to seek the advice of a divorce lawyer before you marry. The $500.00 per hour would save you a lifetime of financial difficulties, emotional distress, physical stress, and even jail time. Yes - I said JAIL TIME. If you do not pay child support, child protection services can call the police, take you to court and the judge will send you to jail. I forgot to inform you that you MUST include in the PRENUP who gets to keep the children, custody rights, amount of child support to be paid per month, and alimony in the event there is a marriage dissolution.

I guess you now see the importance of a PRENUP. It is not just a tool utilized mainly by wealthy people. It is an important document for a marriage contract. Do not neglect the alternative option of having your parents pick a wife for you. In my opinion, I think it is the best and fastest option to get married. The Indians and Chinese or Asians utilized the form of marriage (Arranged Marriage) and it works perfectly well for them. When there are disputes and SURELY there will be marital disputes, you can rally around your family for support and also extinguish the fire.

I will repeat again - do not let anybody, including your OWN FAMILY, talk you out of not getting a PRENUP. if she does not want a PRENUP, find someone else who will. If you do not get a PRENUP, you relinquish ALL CONTROL to your wife and automatically become a SIMP. You would live in constant fear throughout the duration of your marriage and only or mostly do things to PLEASE the wife.

Also, utilize your bachelor phase with making friends with the married Nigerian men within your community and seek their opinions, including their marital problems. Though many men don't speak about their marital problems openly, if you are close to them, they would advise you greatly. I wish you that best of luck. If you implement what I outlined, you will enjoy your marriage in the western world, and even if you divorce, your life will not be miserable, at least, not financially. Also, your wife will be committed and submissive because she knows the consequences which are outlined in BLACK and WHITE in your PRENUP.

Oh before I forget - NEVER marry a woman who is above 25 years and try to get a virgin and surely you can if you implement the option of utilizing your parental assistance. Also, to avoid deceit about virginity, include in your PRENUP that the marriage will be instantly dissolved if upon consummation of the marriage you find out she is not a virgin. Oga, don't forget, NO JOKES HERE. This is your life and nobody will live your life for you. Also, consummate the marriage in Nigeria and if she is not a virgin - waka peacefully.

HarunaWest:
36 is too old ...You are no longer a young man, you are an Uncle...
Dont you have an Ex in Naija, what of a school mate that you admired or a Nigerian colleague? Shoot your shot, you never can tell. If she is still good to go, why not ring her. I will implore you not to marry any of those Americans if you can't handle their craze.

And stop telling all that you dont drink, smoke or womanize. Once a lady discovers that you don't do any of the above, she will tag you boring and she will take you olay kalo kalo.
Even if you dont actually do any of the above, always have a fictitious story of how you used to be a very bad guys in your uni days so that you can get respect from her.
Ladies like a controversial person. If you are too honest,you have entered one chance.
Cheers as you seek for your soul mate.

GuyInTheMirror:
I have answered the bolded, most of my friends are either married or the ones not married have one issue or the other cos most of them are over 30 years .
The option of marrying a former friend is totally out of it.
And thanks for your input about my personality.. That is why I am actually looking for a lady whoose values match with mine.

Hardrive:
My brother I suggest you read THE RATIONAL MALE by Rollo Tomassi before you proceed with marriage.

Think9ja:
Where are all the so called decent ladies on nairaland? Please, recommend yourself. If you're a girl of 26 or below and you're looking for something serious, this is your chance.

Before you suggest yourself, please be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you're good enough (wife material). For me, I know that I'm the perfect husband material for an average lady so I will suggest myself when the time is right.

Huncle, any lady that recommends herself, send her a pm and take it up from there. Your first option isn't bad. At least you can just be chatting and getting to know yourselves. Then once you come back, 2-3 months will be enough to finally study her. For someone like me, I can be able to predict the kind of person a girl is by the way she chats, except if she doesn't reply well.

The idea of coming back home at 36 to look for a wife doesn't resonate for me. You'll need to date her for like two years, by then you'll be 38. You'll then be having your first child at 39, which is too old.

I don't see myself single beyond 33. By 31, I should be warming up. Early marriage is good if you have the resources.

ugreat:
Op how far

AnonymousRebec:
My dear, my value matches yours. I'm below 26 and my portfolio is good enough for my age. I'm an igbo girl who prays to marry an igbo man. I am open to having a conversation with you if it's ok with you.