AnanseK:


Keep on trying. Your English will improve in sha Allah

kingemaker:
Good morning my NL people.

I usually don't do this but I've been forced to create this thread because my friend (a lady) needs my advice on the subject.

She met this cool dude about two years ago, they started dating after 2 months or thereabouts and everything has been fine with them.

Dude has a good career and she's also doing very well for herself. A couple of days back, she ran into some of his documents and realized that she is 5 years older than him she confirmed this via a photocopy of his international passport, WAEC certificate and Jamb documents; his DOB was consistent in all.

I advised her to confront him, at least to hear his own part of the story (because I'm aware so many Nigerians tend to reduce their "official" ages). But she insisted that that wasn't the case because she remembered when her boyfriend's elder brother in the US once celebrated his birthday with a cake with "**** at 29" inscription. She saw the photos on IG late last year and she was confused but decided to shrug it off thinking it could be a mistake.

As of this moment, she feels the dude must be hiding some other things from her, she's so broken right now.

I'll be expecting your input guys.

I don't mind if you help push this to the promised land.

Thanks

kingemaker:
Good morning my NL people.

I usually don't do this but I've been forced to create this thread because my friend (a lady) needs my advice on the subject.

She met this cool dude about two years ago, they started dating after 2 months or thereabouts and everything has been fine with them.

Dude has a good career and she's also doing very well for herself. A couple of days back, she ran into some of his documents and realized that she is 5 years older than him she confirmed this via a photocopy of his international passport, WAEC certificate and Jamb documents; his DOB was consistent in all.

I advised her to confront him, at least to hear his own part of the story (because I'm aware so many Nigerians tend to reduce their "official" ages). But she insisted that that wasn't the case because she remembered when her boyfriend's elder brother in the US once celebrated his birthday with a cake with "**** at 29" inscription. She saw the photos on IG late last year and she was confused but decided to shrug it off thinking it could be a mistake.

As of this moment, she feels the dude must be hiding some other things from her, she's so broken right now.

I'll be expecting your input guys.

I don't mind if you help push this to the promised land.

Thanks

Quality20:
D young guy who is with d older lady isn't complaining so what's d fuss from her about?

etrange:
I've always believed age is just a number and shouldn't come in the way of marriage. But this is not about the age, it's about trust. The ideal thing is for her to confront him and hear what he's got to say. Such conversations are painful cause the idea of your lover keeping such a secret could really hurt. If he's really younger and has been hiding it all this while, trust has been broken and there's no telling how much more he's got to hide. Men get away with many things in a relationship so expect a lot of people here to suggest she should pardon him and stay since he's been a cool guy but I personally believe that apologies offered when one is already caught don't mean true repentance and, like I said, there could still be a lot the guy is hiding. The foundation is already shaky. Reverse this case in your mind, assume it was a lady that came with a baggage of lies, would you still trust her to be your second half?

I'm not saying she should stay, neither am I saying she should quite. This is because I don't know their personal circumstances. I don't know what could have made the guy to lie and how long he planned to keep up with it. I don't know the sacrifices both have made for each other in the past. I don't know how much time, energy and other resources they've invested in the relationship before now. So whether she stays afterwards or not depends all these and also on her personality: can she deal with the knowledge that her partner once harboured such a secret or will that always creep up every now and then and make her feel uncomfortable or unsure of his words? This kind of thing could hurt for long and she will blame herself if she decides to stay and later discover more lies.

Let her follow her heart and even if her final decision leads to regrets, she should take solace in the fact that she did what she felt was the right thing at the moment. As humans, we can only work with the limited knowledge we have as no one knows the future.

Cc: kingemaker

ayenale1:
What if the guy and his brother reduce their ages to get employment which is very rampant this days so what the heck is her problem. Two in ten people will actually tell you their real age so whats her problem, the excuse is baseless.

Sunrise258:
That a small boy is muscular doesn't mean he is matured. Though the issue here bothers on trust and deceit, but the lady should know that a man will always lie about his age if he finds out his woman is older than him. Ladies, generally, can be very arrogant n disrespectful the moment they know their guy is younger. Only those who are tired of searching, older ladies, wouldn't mind but would tell the guy it should be btw them. It worse when her immediate younger one is even older than the guy. She would feel like she has ridiculed herself way too much cause age means a lot to Africans.

Freestainworld:
don't let age deprive you your happiness if the guy is treating you well, and respecting you, sometimes the reason why some people hide their in relationships is for fear of losing their beloved partners, I hope you understand this.

RamessesIV:
Age is just a number,don't allow ageism rob you off your happiness

If she has issues with his age she should confront him

etrange:
I've always believed age is just a number and shouldn't come in the way of marriage. But this is not about the age, it's about trust. The ideal thing is for her to confront him and hear what he's got to say. Such conversations are painful cause the idea of your lover keeping such a secret could really hurt. If he's really younger and has been hiding it all this while, trust has been broken and there's no telling how much more he's got to hide. Men get away with many things in a relationship so expect a lot of people here to suggest she should pardon him and stay since he's been a cool guy but I personally believe that apologies offered when one is already caught don't mean true repentance and, like I said, there could still be a lot the guy is hiding. The foundation is already shaky. Reverse this case in your mind, assume it was a lady that came with a baggage of lies, would you still trust her to be your second half?

I'm not saying she should stay, neither am I saying she should quite. This is because I don't know their personal circumstances. I don't know what could have made the guy to lie and how long he planned to keep up with it. I don't know the sacrifices both have made for each other in the past. I don't know how much time, energy and other resources they've invested in the relationship before now. So whether she stays afterwards or not depends all these and also on her personality: can she deal with the knowledge that her partner once harboured such a secret or will that always creep up every now and then and make her feel uncomfortable or unsure of his words? This kind of thing could hurt for long and she will blame herself if she decides to stay and later discover more lies.

Let her follow her heart and even if her final decision leads to regrets, she should take solace in the fact that she did what she felt was the right thing at the moment. As humans, we can only work with the limited knowledge we have as no one knows the future.

Cc: kingemaker

Bornsinner1:

most of us here deprive ourselves of happiness just because we wanna follow the rules n regulations that just one person like us had started in the past. my woman whom I ought to marry next year is one year older than me and I didnt tell her cos I love her n don't want this African women shit to get over her if I tell her that she is older.
1. am scared she might not respect me anymore and act tyranny
2. she might Deprive both of us of our love just because she was told in africa u have to marry a man way older than u.

I think here in this part of the world only Money and fame makes you bypass all this African principles and rules
because if I am one celeb I think even my momma age mate won't mind fucking me and having babies for me

kingemaker:

Exactly, she's not so worried about the age difference. The guy looks older than the said age (maybe the beards) and acts like a real man. Her major concern is the trust.

For the question, I don't think I'll be able to forgive my girlfriend if we are to reverse the case. Thanks for your input.

kingemaker:
Good morning my NL people.

I usually don't do this but I've been forced to create this thread because my friend (a lady) needs my advice on the subject.

She met this cool dude about two years ago, they started dating after 2 months or thereabouts and everything has been fine with them.

Dude has a good career and she's also doing very well for herself. A couple of days back, she ran into some of his documents and realized that she is 5 years older than him she confirmed this via a photocopy of his international passport, WAEC certificate and Jamb documents; his DOB was consistent in all.

I advised her to confront him, at least to hear his own part of the story (because I'm aware so many Nigerians tend to reduce their "official" ages). But she insisted that that wasn't the case because she remembered when her boyfriend's elder brother in the US once celebrated his birthday with a cake with "**** at 29" inscription. She saw the photos on IG late last year and she was confused but decided to shrug it off thinking it could be a mistake.

As of this moment, she feels the dude must be hiding some other things from her, she's so broken right now.

I'll be expecting your input guys.

I don't mind if you help push this to the promised land.

Thanks

99thEnemy:
How much does it cost?

Dealvault100:

Whatsapp me sir for negotiation

Bornsinner1:

most of us here deprive ourselves of happiness just because we wanna follow the rules n regulations that just one person like us had started in the past. my woman whom I ought to marry next year is one year older than me and I didnt tell her cos I love her n don't want this African women shit to get over her if I tell her that she is older.
1. am scared she might not respect me anymore and act tyranny
2. she might Deprive both of us of our love just because she was told in africa u have to marry a man way older than u.

I think here in this part of the world only Money and fame makes you bypass all this African principles and rules
because if I am one celeb I think even my momma age mate won't mind fucking me and having babies for me