₦airaland Forum

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

This is a trail from your Creator, my advice look for a way to make peace with your parents and do not cut off communication but only give help that will not inconvenience you or your plans and maintain rapport with your younger siblings you don't know who your children's destiny helper will be so forgive, seek forgiveness and do good to your parents and siblings within your capacity for the sake of your Creator.

You did better move on and pretend they never exist.

You can forgive them,but my guy if you start taking their responsibilities as your own,my guy the village you go pack go,will be worst than the one your father took you to when you were still a baby,wise up oooo,enjoy your life,just do like say na only you de the earth,

StacyO:
mmmmm

"Sips more dorothy's milk"

Lesbian much?

Froshloaded:
I've read it.



Hell no.




This is life for you o..

I feel he should just forgive his parents and do what he can afford ..


BTW are you a christian?

because you haven't suffer from being in a broken home

Saintmary:
If anyone has ever hurt you in this life, the ONLY thing you owe them is forgiveness. Nothing more.

abeg carry your forgiveness comot here
because you haven't tasted it
mine is that not only did my father left me when i was tender but he falsely accuse me and take me to cell at tender ,at the cost i lost my elder bro live was so critical for me,he even sworn that he wont be alive to see me survive but thank God that light is coming

so dont tell someone to forgive if you dont know the hell the person passed through

You case is really pathetic. But please forgive them in the name of God. They don't deserve your pity at all, in any way, but for the sake of God i will beg you to forgive them. And God who has been with you will continue to prosper you. You have every right to ignore them, but however they are still your parents, the two of them brought you to this world, yes they did not take care for you, but God took care of you. You did not take care of yourself, it was God that took care of you. Sometimes, people do some things because they are ignorant of the implications. If you forgive them they will eternally be grateful to you, because they themselves know they don't deserve it. Do whatever in your power to take care of them, because whatever you do in life is a seed. If you refuse to take care of them, your own children may refuse to take care of you in the future too, Spiritual law does not want to understand whether they took care of you when you were small or not. As long as you refuse to take care of them now, your own children may not take care of you also in the future. But however, they must be ready to repent to God and to you of what they did, and once they do that, please forgive them and reconcile with them, it is well with you in Jesus Name.

hansomb:
Your parents are still your parent no matter what. Probably if u have not gone what you experienced you will not b where you are today. The only time you can go against your parents is if they try to stop you from worshipping God. Everything happens for a reason in this life. Your parents are still your parent. Let's go of the Hate and grudges. At least your parents never aborted you or throw you into gutter as most boyfriend n girlfriend or some couples do this day. For that alone be grateful to them and God.

forget that thing
you don dey make me vex
cause you never pass through it
parent is far from conception but the responsibility to take good care of the child

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Dump those golddiggers and go build a life for yourself. mark my words, the moment you acknowledge them they'll leech every penny off you till you're penniless, then they'll abandon you like before and turn to their "real" children. A family is not by blood. it's by those who stand by you in your time of need. hell, your friend that helped you out with a job is the closest thing you have to family. So screw those guys and face your life.

Akamariner:
Tah!, no forgiveness for willingly chosing to be foolish, every other form of sin is forgivable, but not willful foolishness, it's worse than murder, let them taste from the wine they served.

Two wrongs can never make a right...you are doing for God who stood by you when they deserted you not for them.

Wicked parents.

But the greedy generals that ruined nigeria are wicked than them.

LadySarah:
I feel for you sir. If you want to forgive your choice but if you don't no qualms.nobody should judge you. Do what will give you 9eace after all if you died those period they deserted you! who will they beg.

The Bible says "you can't reap what you didnt sow.Its payback time for them coupled with the fact that extending your olive branch to them means carrying a huge responsibility going forward.

I have someone with your kind of story. He is a very emotionally disturbed man. He forgave after the whole mess only for them to strike again from the step siblings..

SecretSpy666,

Please pay close attention to the bolded last paragraph and learn from it. Don't make the same mistake other have made in the past.

Forgive them but stay far from them else you'll regret it. If you value your peace a lot, please keep away.

They have come to reap where they didn't sow. I was listening to a radio program and the presenter said once you ALLOW someone to have their way, they'll ask for ALLOWANCE.

If you allow them into your life, get ready to be thier CASHCOW as they will transfer their responsibilities and expenses to you as "you are now rich."

You don't have to rude to your parents, their spouse or children. Just ignore them. Don't say anything. Activate your silence button. Silence is a very powerful weapon...use it wisely.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

No matter the level of hate I have for a lady, I can never deny my blood, if there was a problem between them it shouldn't have affected you, your father supposed to show concern over you cause you are his blood, to err is human but to forgive is Devine, forgive them because they gave birth to you but still keep your distance from them and concentrate in raising your family and building yourself otherwise they'll be a major set back to your life at the moment as it is clearly obvious they have no conscience, if you accept them now the load from them will cripple you, imagine taking care of 12 children and a father and mother that they raised due to carelessness and impatience? They want to drag you backwards again? Please be careful cause you are not yet there. Be prayerful as well for Devine intervention and wisdom on how to go about the whole thing.

Dear OP, I must commend you on your doggedness in getting to this level in life. You are one of a kind.

Now concerning your parents, they failed woefully in their duties and have no right in making demands from you BUT forgiving them although unpopular and undeserved will help you grow beyond the level you are atm.

Contrary to what many people think, forgiveness isn't for the good of those that hurt us but for the good of the hurting or hurt. Forgiving your parents won't make them better people but it would free you OP from your pain and bitterness.

Unforgivness is a horrible burden to carry. Look how bitter it has made you. If care isn't taken, you will unleash it on your wife and children. Your sense of achievement will make you excessively proud that your wife and children will constantly try to measure up.

Do not fall into this trap! Free yourself! An eye for an eye makes the world go blind. Because of your anger and bitterness, you have refused to help your innocent step sibling that came for help. Aren't you stylishly toeing the path of your parents? Be very careful. It doesn't end only in this life, the hereafter awaits all of us.

May our Lord help you through this pain. May the Holy Spirit enlighten you and grant you wisdom to take the right decision and free your self from this vicious cycle of anger, bitterness and revenge. God bless you dear

shalomblue:
We have arrived. They have made their own mistakes, do not follow in their path. If you can, place them on a monthly allowance. You do not owe your step brothers or sisters anything

In the same manner, he doesn't owe his father or mother anything.

SecretSpy666:
The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

Please don't care o.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

You are a gifted orphan. You have no father no mother. Shower your affection on your relatives that helped you.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Despite the fact they're your parents, they've proved they're worthless to you! They never helped and they neglected you when you needed them most!

If you had died, would they had cared? No! They only care now about what they can get from you! You are self-made and every street kid should emulate you!

Keep your so-called parents out of your life, if you want to live long! They never added any value to your life when you desperately needed them. And they won't add any value to your life now that you're successful!

Ishilove:
Toh. We should honour incubators and sperm donors who do not give a fvck about their children. I hear you

Exactly cos the Bible was not specific on the ones you should and should not honor.

But then it also enforces parent not to frustrate their children

Forgive them, but have nothing to do with them.....for even reaching out to them THEN you fulfilled Scriptures..... Deliver them to a rebrobate mind.....
They have other children, build your own and let those that have you the platform to grow enjoy your largesse

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Your story is an inspiration to someone in same condition. If you have excess money, spend it on people still in similar situation you were rather than your parents that lack shame to even ask.

adebayo3449:
I don't want to say much about this.
But I will advise you to call the young lady back and help her, if you have the capacity.

This is very correct,you need to let your parent know that you are not like them,then also try and see what you can do to better their lot,if you can ,I know if you do that the Almighty will continue to bless you

You can forgive them, but stay away from them as much as possible. Because being close to you will force you to remember all their wrongdoing and hence renew bitterness

I know how difficult this may sound. I am also not saying I would have done or not do what I am about to say, but I am duty bound to tell you what I believe is right.

You must forgive all those who have hurt you.

You must not necessarily visit or invite them to your house, but whenever you can help them with financial assistance, please do.

We are to love our enemies and even pray for them.

Please help them when you can while you stay far from them so they would not infect you with their toxicity.

eyinjuege:
I must say you have done very well for yourself if your story is true. You've shown resilience, courage , determination to succeed despite all the odds against you.
Well done for that. Give yourself a pat on the back
With regards to your parents and their brood, stay far from them. You meant nothing to them in the past, and you mean nothing to them now. Your money may mean a lot to them though, so do not allow yourself to be used.
There are orphans who are living fine without any family.
Don't feel bad that you've refused their requests, afterall they never granted any of yours when you needed them in the past.
I would implore you to continue working hard and when you decide to marry, please marry someone who loves you and ready to help you grow further. Marry someone who is concerned about your welfare, who will be ready to stand by you through thick and thin. Do not let your partner pressurise you into getting close to your parents as they would be your downfall. You mean nothing to your biological parents unfortunately. Build your own family
I wish you the best.
Family are those who covered you from the rain and other elements, and those who you matter to.

To crowd it all .... Please dont marry or settle for a WOUND MATE.... so many couples are going through hell on earth in their marriages because they saw the red flags but thinking the individual will change....hmmmm... the change never came...!!!..... Its well.....

SecretSpy666:
The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

When u are broke who help you? bros u dont need them.

Bianda24:
When I was reading your comment my heart skipped because initially I thought someone that knows me was relating my story. Bro, your friend's story is similar to mine.
My dad chased us (3 boys and one girl) out of his house in 1989 and brought in another woman with a child. I was barely 8 years old at that time. He abandoned us all and remarried scores of other women. He even assisted some of these women to build house. The irony of it all is that non of those women is with him.
He did not know how my siblings and i went to school.
Fast forward to the present time, he has lost everything, he now wanted his children back but the love is not there particularly from my end. The sad thing is that my mum who had been there all these while died shortly after i secured a job. It was really sad and still sad. She toiled so much for us her children.
Well I have since forgiven him but the love is not there and I cant do more than I can afford for him

eyya, may God console you and your Mum continue to rest in peace, when I said he should forgive, people really misinterpreted it.
The luv can't be there again especially if you remember ur mom that didn't enjoy d fruit of her labour. I will forgive him, but when I'm eating Chicken, they will be eating starch and ponmo bcuz they don't deserve Rice and chicken. The pain is much but guy should just forgive.
I myself have someone I don't get along with, my maternal Uncle, my late Mum trained him and he was doing as if he was appreciating then, he later got married and life was ok, we lost my Mum.
Initially we were d one calling as per our Uncle not to ask of anything from him. He didn't reciprocate the same, he thought maybe my younger ones might be begging him for some stuff, I was lucky cuz I was working and married, so I seek for my hubby's consent if our last born could stay with us and he said no wahala. D boy finished sec school, and gained admission in Unillorin and finished school, my uncle wasn't aware.
He couldn't even pretend at all to call for once.
My little bro mark waec and neco exams, he went to submit papers in Lokoja and saw my Uncle in waec office, that was how he knew d boy is even a graduate. One thing in my life is this, if I discovered I don't matter to u, I will distance from u and keep my pain, failure and success all to myself. Now he's d one telling people to beg us.
He told someone one that he's own sister's Son snubbed him when they met somewhere. U see I have completely put a gap between us forever, but if na fada, u have to forgive but d luv can't be there again. People who were never in your shoes will be reminding u he's ur fada no matter what.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Nice one. You did the perfect thing.
Even the Bible tells us that whatever one sows he shall reap

Stay far away from them.
They still don't care about you.
They will sap you dry.
You can never satisfy them .

I wish I knew better. I did same thing raising my parents kids from birth till University. Today, I can barely fend for my own kids and family.

Besides, you are not financially strong yet. Focus more on building yourself.

#Experincespeaking.

Seventy7kings:
Hmmm...
Strange story. I don't know what to say

Change ur number, ur story touch my hrt

SecretSpy666:
The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

This is a common thing in Nigeria, the orientation has to change. Never allow them come near, you own them nothing, not money, not affection, not relationship, cos you never had any with them. They are complete stranger, and pls treat them as such. Motherhood or not giving birth to a baby, it is an act, your responsibility towards the child that makes u a mother, same for a father. Infact, you have lived as an orphan, just continue