₦airaland Forum

Good morning.
just an advice. I know you feel very bad right now considering how they treated you and it's still obvious they have not changed, they want you now because of your money. This is were the wisdom comes� Do this and thank me later. Thank God for your current level but take advantage of the situation and explode to the next level trust me you will not regret it.. Help them and don't treat them bad. Be nice to them. Try it and see if heaven won't bless you abundantly..

dorin27:
It is well. It is never good to pay evil with evil. You can keep your distance and the same time help in the little way you can. You cannot change the fact that THEY ARE STILL YOUR PARENTS.

They are not his parents, tell me, in wish way are they his parents? They both have sex, enjoy themselves and produced him to suffer? Stop saying rubbish

okeyfermod:
I went practically through same, i was 8 though.

What i did, i relate with both, but i always tell stories whenever they ask for money

Why stories, you are encouraging there contemporary in there village or area or family who knew what happened, they will also do the same thing to there kids. You can't eat where you did not show, why do we keep encouraging this impunity?

DemonInvoker:
OP Have a Forgiving Spirit and Forgive your moda fvcking Family Members and only use your head while dealing with them.
E get why...Who Rise now fit fall tomorrow and who dey ground now fit still Rise..No man is an Island ooo.

Stop saying irrelevant rubbish, He has been an island since birth, if he want to fall let him fall without them, if they want to rise, let them rise without him. Who told u if they rise, anyone of them will remember him. People that neglected a toddler, you father and mother children has no connection with u whatsoever, they just need his financial gain, and they move after

I read a bit of replies to this, and what I think I should point out briefly is this, they are not your Parents. Parents are essentially caregivers of their offsprings. This are simply your biological father, and mother. You were treated like the bad product of a bad union, with no one wanting a reminder of that union, and in their hindsight, failed to account for the future.

I think you should offer forgiveness, if you want to, as theirs healing from that, but offer naught companionship to them, aye?

They also have offsprings from their respective unions, so why must they single-handed focus on you, wanting you to provide for them, not caring how you fairing and eve knowing the means to do so?

You can at your discretion, send whatever you want to them once in a while, but I do not think it will be healthy for you (mentally and all), to succumb to their pressure, as that pressure will not just be upon you, but on the family you are likely to raise later in the future.

For your step siblings, I think you need to make them acknowledge who you are first of all, and maybe understand the gravity of what your parents did, but also, might be necessary to have a form of relationship with them, cordial enough to start with.

This is not a period of demands upon you, but a period of sobriety and acknowledgment of wrong doing to you.

oshorstan:
will staying away help him heal?

it is the holy Spirit that heals. how will u feel knowing your family is dying because of inability to feed? How will you feel knowing that your father died because of hunger and malaria? Your conscience will haunt you forever. That can make u become depressed forever. Forgive them as Jesus has forgiven you. God has a reason why u made it. Remember Joseph and his Brothers. that's a good story to learn from. God bless you

All of you talking about forgiveness, did he say anything about forgiving them? They are disturbing him for assistance, that's the problem, he didn't say he has been bothered or worried about them, they are the one disturbing his peace. Pls read with understand before you comment with holy preaching. Forgiveness is different from relationship. Op is asking how he should relate with them. This 2020, not 24BC

Olatoman:
I read a bit of replies to this, and what I think I should point out briefly is this, they are not your Parents. Parents are essentially caregivers of their offsprings. This are simply your biological father, and mother. You were treated like the bad product of a bad union, with no one wanting a reminder of that union, and in their hindsight, failed to account for the future.

I think you should offer forgiveness, if you want to, as theirs healing from that, but offer naught companionship to them, aye?

They also have offsprings from their respective unions, so why must they single-handed focus on you, wanting you to provide for them, not caring how you fairing and eve knowing the means to do so?

You can at your discretion, send whatever you want to them once in a while, but I do not think it will be healthy for you (mentally and all), to succumb to their pressure, as that pressure will not just be upon you, but on the family you are likely to raise later in the future.

For your step siblings, I think you need to make them acknowledge who you are first of all, and maybe understand the gravity of what your parents did, but also, might be necessary to have a form of relationship with them, cordial enough to start with.

This is not a period of demands upon you, but a period of sobriety and acknowledgment of wrong doing to you.

I will advice not to start what u can't finish, they feel entitled just because they gave birth, once he send them a penny, they will always come back for more. People who doesn't know how to give, always expect more from others. Op note, once u give in to any of there request, there is no going back. Even if they come sober and apologize, forgive them but do not reward them for there action. Moreover, all the apologies is to get close and start eating from ur table. When u are in primary school they didn't realize there mistakes, secondary, tertiary, now that you are a bit comfortable is when they now realize u exist. Let them know u still don't exist to them.

hansomb:
Your parents are still your parent no matter what. Probably if u have not gone what you experienced you will not b where you are today. The only time you can go against your parents is if they try to stop you from worshipping God. Everything happens for a reason in this life. Your parents are still your parent. Let's go of the Hate and grudges. At least your parents never aborted you or throw you into gutter as most boyfriend n girlfriend or some couples do this day. For that alone be grateful to them and God.

What's the difference if they have thrown him to gutter, they only kept him at arm length cos of a day like this, to reap where they never sow.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

bro if this story of your is true, I am glad that God make you somebody. Move on with your life, they were not there for you so don't care about them.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

My advice to you is to give them long rope, try to forgive, assist them to your own level, but watch your back Well, hopefully you try to marry soon.

Lot has been said nd advised, but in my own opinion, I will rather ask u 2 do what pleases u nd appeal 2 ur peace of mind.

He who aven't been 2 a battlefield b4 cannot know d cost of shedding blood 2 attain victory. U wia d one who walked d path nd know best hw it went down.

2 me, u've been vindicated by God already cos u d ABANDONED, is now d one dey SEEK 4 help despite d numerous ones under dia care who enjoyed d benefit of parenthood.

I bet dey r already regretting dia deeds nd maltreatments wia eva dey r right now. 4 dem 2 kom back 2 dia place of vomit already speak volume.

D ego nd entitlement mentality as an Africa parent are just what has been getting d best of dem by not letting dem admit dey failed u as a parent, but I'm sure dey r wallowing in regret nd bitterness.

4 u 2 bring d mata down here tells u r still battling wif d decision of doing wat is right or wrong, it tells u r in doubt as regard ur stand. It's best u forgive dem 4 ur own peace of mind, nd just as sm1 once advised, help dem like u wud help strangers shud it's in ur capacity.

Who knows? u might not av attain ur present height shud dey acted responsible as a parent, but dia irresponsibility is part of wat triggers ur will 2 succeed against ol odds.

Once again, do wat appeal 2 ur inner peace, sanity nd wat u tink is best 4 u.

May God guide u right.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

This story ehn. Brother, how can I communicate with you??

Do u want to hear the truth? Now here it is... Just move on with your life. Those people are your parents but they don't give a damn about u. Sometimes blood is lighter than water. Parents who could abandon u without caring for u at such tender age are not worth it. What if u had died?? What if u turned out useless in life, would they have been disturbing you now?? Listen they're just trying to scavenge on u now, trying to make u carry their burdens which they accumulated by discarding you because they were busy f**cking their strange life partners. And they're still ready to abandon u if anything bad happens to u again.

I won't say leave them or help them, I only know: they just want your money, they have no remorse and finally, if you let them in, they will milk you dry and spit you out.

adubiay:
They are not his parents, tell me, in wish way are they his parents? They both have sex, enjoy themselves and produced him to suffer? Stop saying rubbish

everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. So back off

My brother, please forgive them. By this I do not mean pursue any relationship with any of them. That one will be hard. But actually say it loud to yourself and if possible to them too. You cannot continue to live with this poison inside you. I went through something similar and had to consciously say "I forgive them". This is for your sake by the way. You can then keep to yourself if you still want, or carry on some sort of relationship with serious boundaries.

dorin27:
everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. So back off

U AGAIN!!. U dont hav man but yet, all u do on nairaland is cuss innocent people for no reason like woman who runaway from sakaitrick hospital.
. Does lockdown really mean u cant find man?(fustrations). Am still trying to help u & I will giv u the 300 naira cash for a free job of 1minutes. U really need man & the good news is that am free

adubiay:
All of you talking about forgiveness, did he say anything about forgiving them? They are disturbing him for assistance, that's the problem, he didn't say he has been bothered or worried about them, they are the one disturbing his peace. Pls read with understand before you comment with holy preaching. Forgiveness is different from relationship. Op is asking how he should relate with them. This 2020, not 24BC

Total forgiveness begets good relationship. if he hasn't forgive them, he will see them as shit. Pls Sir I use God name beg u, let go. Remember Joseph!


How do u feel seeing them suffer when you have the means of helping them?

Seeking forgiveness after he his doing okay... Hmmm

Haaaaa.. some parents are not worth it. Both parents abandoned you.
And after all the hell you must have gone through, they came back to seek help from you? Am sorry to say this, they're shameless. If you go closer, they will dry not just your pocket but everything in you. I pray God give you a wife. She will help you sort it out. God bless you

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Please Bro don't mind them. Enjoy your wealth, u earned it. The only person of importance to you is the one who helped you getting the block industry job. Just fashi dem and cut off ur self from dem. Don't come too close to them before they poison you out of Jealousy. Stay clear and far from them.

Well God almighty has lifted and blessed you up beyond their imaginations, sometimes it happens like that, this is your own trial time from God almighty who has capacity to make and break ....you are one of the lucky ones that have become cornerstone ....if you had not made it out of this struggle of life, do you think they will look at you at all talkless of wanting to associate with you.
Just glorify God, do the little you can do and move on with your life.....forgiveness opens more doors for you♥️♥️�️�️�

Olatoman:
I read a bit of replies to this, and what I think I should point out briefly is this, they are not your Parents. Parents are essentially caregivers of their offsprings. This are simply your biological father, and mother. You were treated like the bad product of a bad union, with no one wanting a reminder of that union, and in their hindsight, failed to account for the future.

I think you should offer forgiveness, if you want to, as theirs healing from that, but offer naught companionship to them, aye?

They also have offsprings from their respective unions, so why must they single-handed focus on you, wanting you to provide for them, not caring how you fairing and eve knowing the means to do so?

You can at your discretion, send whatever you want to them once in a while, but I do not think it will be healthy for you (mentally and all), to succumb to their pressure, as that pressure will not just be upon you, but on the family you are likely to raise later in the future.

For your step siblings, I think you need to make them acknowledge who you are first of all, and maybe understand the gravity of what your parents did, but also, might be necessary to have a form of relationship with them, cordial enough to start with.

This is not a period of demands upon you, but a period of sobriety and acknowledgment of wrong doing to you.

Thank you very much

Start your own family.

poster i beg with God ingnore them. such people are pests looking for who to feed on. forgive them wholeheartedly if you can or take your time to forgive. after then concentrate on your job and career ensure you reach the highest peak you want, focus on building a great life for your self and future family. such family members who did that will run if you are back to square one. as a son honour you be sending them little upkeep once in a while.

when they complain about a problem bring complaints that are bigger then theirs. they will run. emphasis on sending them money once awhile so they wont turn it to entitlement mentality. i pray God opened their eyes to see how much hurt they did to you.

i pray peace and light more blessings your way

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

This is deep and I understand your pains. It's not going to be easy but please forgive them. Assist them if you have the resources.. If you are a Christian I will love to drop this..... Do not allow the grudges you hold against your parents lead you to hell. Forgive same way the Lord forgives you when you trespass..

Akamariner:
Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

You can forgive then but still thread carefully. The forgiveness is more for yourself than for them to free your mind of any bitterness and hurt.

However, giving money is another kettle of fish. I don't think you should part with any money especially because their moves for reconciliation seem to be motivated by your financial situation.

Forgiving them does not mean you have to be close to them. It's a sad situation that parents can leave their own child...a toddler and move on with their lives.

boldx:
Your father and mother are simply irresponsible. Be that as it may: if you forgive them and let go, I am sure God will remember you for good. But you need to exercise caution when helping out.

He should forgive and also help them.
The Bible says if you do good to those that hate or despise you, you are heaping coal of fire on their head. If you want to finish your enemies, finish them with goodness/ kindness.
I know people that hate me for no reason but I fight them with goodness and kindness

naxyrick:
abeg carry your forgiveness comot here
because you haven't tasted it
mine is that not only did my father left me when i was tender but he falsely accuse me and take me to cell at tender ,at the cost i lost my elder bro live was so critical for me,he even sworn that he wont be alive to see me survive but thank God that light is coming

so dont tell someone to forgive if you dont know the hell the person passed through

Hellooooo
No one said its by force.
You are not the only one dealing with stuff
So,

Akamariner:
Tah!, no forgiveness for willingly chosing to be foolish, every other form of sin is forgivable, but not willful foolishness, it's worse than murder, let them taste from the wine they served.

If I told u that I had worse u no go believe but guess what? It's horrible to be vengeful. It messes up ur life. If we gradually learn to do things the God way, with a lot of help, we will be happy. No need getting even bro. Remember Joseph, pls.

Oizee:
Nawao, ur case is like that of someone I know, but his mum was there all tru, she sacrificed all she had. The dad was completely absent, he didn't even know when he finished pri/sec sch.
God bless d guy and he got a job, he lost his mum shortly after.
Now d dad is really in a bad condition and not that he remarried after the separation from deir mom, he wasted his life to alcohol.
He was a serious drunkard. He has 3 kids from d woman and my friend is d first born and only male. The younger ones are married, d man will be calling dem and be reporting dem to people as if he was there for them and the children are now neglecting him.
One woman told my friend that he should look at the whole thing as a challenge in life and as a test from God.
Your parent failed themselves and God, don't be like them, God will continue to protect and bless you more.
But do only what u are capable of doing and don't go extra mile for them, cuz they don't deserve it. But inorder to get total blessing from ur God, please take care of them in any little way you can but don't abandoned them, don't commit sin out of pain.

Amazing comment but would it surprise u to know that God doesn't test anyone?

anastasius:
Lesbian much?

"Sips moin moin water"