₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
I thought I was in the twilight some reading the 1st and second pages.

The thread was overcome by people praising others for their comments rather than actually seeing the issue in OPs financial condition.

1) nothing wrong with her buying him gifts . I always encourage generosity. In fact I wonder why she bought for herself and the kids and excluded him in the first place . She could have either bought for everyone or no one at all. Or just buy for the kids alone.

2) I was thinking people would advice her to stick to her financial goals instead of using the third income as something to play with.

3) why does anyone thinks it’s okay for her to be managing 3 sources of income (I’m willing to bet she’s the primary home keeper as well) while he’s satisfied with his one source?

Coco i am shocked we could be on the page, candy fall on you MRS

ecomalchemist:
Women are the most irrational creatures on the face of planet Earth.

Tell me abt it

Zzor:
You are not afraid of thunder abi

;d..i was not the one that mentioned u na..lol

LINTUNE:
;d..i was not the one that mentioned u na..lol

he didn't mention me,you did

Zzor:
he didn't mention me,you did

ok fine..sorry about that..., when i read that comment , picture of u ass just popped out in my head

LINTUNE:
ok fine..sorry about that..., when i read that comment , picture of u ass just popped out in my head

see this small boy smh

Zzor:
see this small boy smh

chai..me small boy..its alright...damn need to swallow my redpill for today, seems have backslidden..no quote me again o

LINTUNE:
chai..me small boy..its alright...damn need to swallow my redpill for today, seems have backslidden..no quote me again o

are you not a small boy?you too have began seeing what your mates are supposed to turn blind eye to

[color=#990000][/color]

Burstscam:
Miserable life of a man

From kindergarten, a boy gives his candy to little girls
He becomes a teenager and start buying presents for girls with his launch money
He becomes older and start giving his girlfriend, his siblings and his parents
When he marries, he gives, first, his wife, then his children, then his parents, then his in-laws, then his extended families.
In the end he has little or nothing left for himself.

Yet he doesn't complain.

Madam, receive sense, I beg you. Your husband knows that consistency and resilience pays off in the end. In the meantime, being more buoyant than him, be the source of his Joy and wnmotivation and stop being selfish.

bros na only your life they follow that pattern. no be only buy sweet for girl

Burstscam:
Miserable life of a man

From kindergarten, a boy gives his candy to little girls
He becomes a teenager and start buying presents for girls with his launch money
He becomes older and start giving his girlfriend, his siblings and his parents
When he marries, he gives, first, his wife, then his children, then his parents, then his in-laws, then his extended families.
In the end he has little or nothing left for himself.

Yet he doesn't complain.

Madam, receive sense, I beg you. Your husband knows that consistency and resilience pays off in the end. In the meantime, being more buoyant than him, be the source of his Joy and wnmotivation and stop being selfish.

bros na only your life they follow that pattern. no be only buy sweet for girl

Hathor5:
You are missing the point. She is working three jobs because he has refused to up his hustle waiting for a miracle to happen. How can a man, in a society where you consider yourselves the providers and protectors, watch his wife work three jobs and instead of being worried about the impact the work load will have on her health, ask for gifts because she bought the kids snacks.

Has anyone acknowledged this woman's vision and plan for a better future? You should all pray for a wife who thinks of building with you instead of asking you to spend on her wigs and nails. But no! Mr. wants gifts because she got the kids some snacks.

Nobody is disputing the woman's vision towards the family. All I am saying that, men have been taking care of their jobless wives and buying all kinds of gifts ( even the obvious lazy wives) without complaining. Why must this woman be selfish when it comes to gifting her hubby? You can imagine what that man will suffer in her hands, God forbid his shop get buggled and he lost everything. That op is simply selfish. Simple!!

ClixMaster:
Nobody is disputing the woman's vision towards the family. All I am saying that, men have been taking care of their jobless wives and buying all kinds of gifts ( even the obvious lazy wives) without complaining. Why must this woman be selfish when it comes to gifting her hubby? You can imagine what that man will suffer in her hands, God forbid his shop get buggled and he lost everything. That op is simply selfish. Simple!!

So now it's the man who is suffering? What is he suffering? Seeing his kids being pampered a little bit?
The wife is not suffering working three jobs?
And isn't it a man's job to provide for the family or have I missed a cultural revolution?

Missis:
Assuming you are married to a man who works as self employed selling some wholesale items that fetch him 70k every month and you have three kids with him.

Meanwhile you the wife work in a private institution earning 60k as well as selling things online that fetch very little like 10k to 15k everymonth.

So you have adviced him to get something else doing to augment your joint income because the money both of you make is barely enough for both of you and three children. You suggest you both need to add more sources of income to your present jobs to move ahead in life and advance, send your children to better schools, maybe build a house, to just upgrade yourselves generally.

So after suggesting different jobs for him he refused to do anything else except his wholesale business because he believes one day he will suddenly make it big from selling his market.

You give up and start your own third business which is part time catering and start making some considerable amount of money from it so you buy new clothes, shoes, nice snacks for your kids from time to time.

Your husband sees all this and tells you to also buy gifts for him from your 'plenty' money. Tells you to not buy new things for only your kids but you should buy also add his own.

How will you react please?

This isn't a made up story please. It's very true, I just want to know if the way I responded was reasonable or if I was wrong.

Marriage is between two persons. Family involves more. Your partner must always be under consideration, if you really desire to enjoy your MARRIAGE

LordOfSamosa how far with the firstbank

Gloriagee:
He sounds entitled in my opinion

why won't he sound entitled.. As that's how your brain processes it.... Pukes

As predicted by many on this thread, the toxic women came in the second page of the thread.

Na wah o.
You make some money, buy things for your children and yourself and you feel your husband doesn't deserve anything? Why so selfish?
That's your partner ffs.
Abi una get fight before ni? Unless you guys have fight before o, that you've refused to settle pls buy presents for your partner if you can afford to, even if it's singlet and boxers
And I'm sure you would expect him to buy you presents if he makes a windfall in his own business.

Hathor5:
You are missing the point. She is working three jobs because he has refused to up his hustle waiting for a miracle to happen. How can a man, in a society where you consider yourselves the providers and protectors, watch his wife work three jobs and instead of being worried about the impact the work load will have on her health, ask for gifts because she bought the kids snacks.

Has anyone acknowledged this woman's vision and plan for a better future? You should all pray for a wife who thinks of building with you instead of asking you to spend on her wigs and nails. But no! Mr. wants gifts because she got the kids some snacks.

Yes, she has a vision and goals for her family which are commendable, however she can still always add his name in the "nice" snacks when buying for the children. It wouldn't cost much. The extra 500 naira or 1K isn't something she should open a thread about.
How can you decide to go to a sharwama spot or suya spot and buy only for the children. Adults no dey chop suya?
If you make any success or progress in your business, your immediate family should feel the impact first and that includes your partner, so its not out of place for him to feel somehow if she doesn't include him in the nice snacks.
I'm sure he wouldn't ask for presents and treats too if she just included him in, afterall he's part of the family.

eyinjuege:
Yes, she has a vision and goals for her family which are commendable, however she can still always add his name in the "nice" snacks when buying for the children. It wouldn't cost much. The extra 500 naira or 1K isn't something she should open a thread about.
How can you decide to go to a sharwama spot or suya spot and buy only for the children. Adults no dey chop suya?
If you make any success or progress in your business, your immediate family should feel the impact first and that includes your partner, so its not out of place for him to feel somehow if she doesn't include him in the nice snacks.
I'm sure he wouldn't ask for presents and treats too if she just included him in, afterall he's part of the family.

It's funny how you people make it all about gifts and snacks. Keep it up, it amuses me.

bluefilm:
They can never change.

You start making more money than him and all of a sudden you start considering buying him snacks as such a very big deal.

I pity you, seriously.

God save us from this kind wife oo seriously it's not funny.

Missis:
Assuming you are married to a man who works as self employed selling some wholesale items that fetch him 70k every month and you have three kids with him.

Meanwhile you the wife work in a private institution earning 60k as well as selling things online that fetch very little like 10k to 15k everymonth.

So you have adviced him to get something else doing to augment your joint income because the money both of you make is barely enough for both of you and three children. You suggest you both need to add more sources of income to your present jobs to move ahead in life and advance, send your children to better schools, maybe build a house, to just upgrade yourselves generally.

So after suggesting different jobs for him he refused to do anything else except his wholesale business because he believes one day he will suddenly make it big from selling his market.

You give up and start your own third business which is part time catering and start making some considerable amount of money from it so you buy new clothes, shoes, nice snacks for your kids from time to time.

Your husband sees all this and tells you to also buy gifts for him from your 'plenty' money. Tells you to not buy new things for only your kids but you should buy also add his own.

How will you react please?

This isn't a made up story please. It's very true, I just want to know if the way I responded was reasonable or if I was wrong.

I went through a few pages of the thread and when I started seeing funny posts, checked your other topics and read the OP again:

If I were to take your threads at face value, you have serious issues with your husband that buying gifts or lack of would not solve.

To this issue, you said your joint finances of N145k monthly is not enough for a family of five.

Have you done a comprehensive monthly budget and shown him that the family needs to increase the source of income to meet up with your needs and save for the future? Thereafter, have you drawn up a plan of feasible things he can do to augment his income? Are there business tips you can give him to expand his current wholesale business? Are there some things you can cut expenses in?

To be honest, a full time job + online business + catering + running the home is a recipe for burn out and disaster.

You wouldn't be useful to yourself, your husband and your kids. You would also be resentful and unable to pamper yourself as a woman to nurture your soft, supple side.

Work on long term solutions to improve the relationship with your husband: the disrespect, the nonchalant attitude and the reluctance to improve your financial situation.

@Gifts: I think you should reduce the gifts
(instant gratification) and think more of getting yourself to a more financially empowered state.

Once in a rare while, buy stuff for the whole family: a bottle of non-alcoholic wine, a cup of ice-cream, a piece of fruit cake etc. that would create experiences in addition to entertainment.

Goodluck.

proclinician:
God save us from this kind wife oo seriously it's not funny.

I dey tell you.

One moment you think you married an angel and everything is all good.

And then the next moment, you realise you only married a Jezebel.

Chukwu ekwekwana Ife ojo.

bukatyne:
I went through a few pages of the thread and when I started seeing funny posts, checked your other topics and read the OP again:

If I were to take your threads at face value, you have serious issues with your husband that buying gifts or lack of would not solve.

To this issue, you said your joint finances of N145k monthly is not enough for a family of five.

Have you done a comprehensive monthly budget and shown him that the family needs to increase the source of income to meet up with your needs and save for the future? Thereafter, have you drawn up a plan of feasible things he can do to augment his income? Are there business tips you can give him to expand his current wholesale business? Are there some things you can cut expenses in?

To be honest, a full time job + online business + catering + running the home is a recipe for burn out and disaster.

You wouldn't be useful to yourself, your husband and your kids. You would also be resentful and unable to pamper yourself as a woman to nurture your soft, supple side.

Work on long term solutions to improve the relationship with your husband: the disrespect, the nonchalant attitude and the reluctance to improve your financial situation.

@Gifts: I think you should reduce the gifts
(instant gratification) and think more of getting yourself to a more financially empowered state.

Once in a rare while, buy stuff for the whole family: a bottle of non-alcoholic wine, a cup of ice-cream, a piece of fruit cake etc. that would create experiences in addition to entertainment.

Goodluck.

The way you think, I sometimes find it hard to believe you're a lady.

cooooooks:
Is it not a partnership.

What if he was making more? Would you be asking this same question?

It isn't about him not making more. It's his refusal to want to make more. Look at it logically.

I can bet she's not too happy running 3 businesses at once because the husband refused to run 2. If he had accepted the proposal to augment his source of income, this issue won't come up.

Sandypearl:
There is absolutely nothing wrong in buying him gifts, he will so appreciate it cos he doesn't have the time to go to market. Or madam don't you admire how some men do dress and look good? Please do the needful. And if he's cool with his wholesale business allow him all he needs from you is encouragement and prayers. Thanks!

He shouldn't be cool with his business as he doesn't know tomorrow. Nigeria does not have the economy where you can be cool with just one source of income. Can you imagine the financial burden that will fall on her if his business folds and he takes at least a year to find his footing?

Can you imagine the stress she's going through presently while managing 3 businesses against his one business as well as proper running of the home?

Do you think they rake in equal amount of income from their individual business pocket?

Do you think their financial duties are shared based on their individual pockets or based on who brings in more income?

Can you now tell me confidently after going through all points that I have raised that she isn't justified in thinking whether the man deserves a gift or not?

Sweetcho:
He's a man he should make do if he had sense instead of asking you to buy him rubbish he should encourage you to save some

I pity for your future husband, Repent from stinginess.

mysticwarrior:
I pity for your future husband, Repent from stinginess.

Hahaaa.

Sixfeetbelle:
He shouldn't be cool with his business as he doesn't know tomorrow. Nigeria does not have the economy where you can be cool with just one source of income. Can you imagine the financial burden that will fall on her if his business folds and he takes at least a year to find his footing?

Can you imagine the stress she's going through presently while managing 3 businesses against his one business as well as proper running of the home?

Do you think they rake in equal amount of income from their individual business pocket?

Do you think their financial duties are shared based on their individual pockets or based on who brings in more income?

Can you now tell me confidently after going through all points that I have raised that she isn't justified in thinking whether the man deserves a gift or not?

This is a very sensible post, the wife is buying things for her kids to make them happy and instead of lefulefu husband to become more hardworking so he can also improve his children's lives he is demanding snacks.

Men these days are just so useless and entitled.

Missis:
Assuming you are married to a man who works as self employed selling some wholesale items that fetch him 70k every month and you have three kids with him.

Meanwhile you the wife work in a private institution earning 60k as well as selling things online that fetch very little like 10k to 15k everymonth.

So you have adviced him to get something else doing to augment your joint income because the money both of you make is barely enough for both of you and three children. You suggest you both need to add more sources of income to your present jobs to move ahead in life and advance, send your children to better schools, maybe build a house, to just upgrade yourselves generally.

So after suggesting different jobs for him he refused to do anything else except his wholesale business because he believes one day he will suddenly make it big from selling his market.

You give up and start your own third business which is part time catering and start making some considerable amount of money from it so you buy new clothes, shoes, nice snacks for your kids from time to time.

Your husband sees all this and tells you to also buy gifts for him from your 'plenty' money. Tells you to not buy new things for only your kids but you should buy also add his own.

How will you react please?

This isn't a made up story please. It's very true, I just want to know if the way I responded was reasonable or if I was wrong.

So my dear,, what exactly was your response to him??

BluntNigerian:
So my dear,, what exactly was your response to him??

Lol, it was not a nice response