Noblejohn32:


You are forgiven!!!
Go home and sin no more....

Yes sir

mhizv:

Yes sir

I don't know why i get banned after tagging monikers!!!
what's the solution??

Episode 8
Broken 2

A dark path seperated two distinct world. A strong wind stirred up leaves which created a ruffling sound. The aura round the place was quite confusing. no humans, no animals, just ruffling sound of dried leaves.
Vera stood on a cliff, she was still in shock as she examined the strange environment. At her rear, a globe spinned slowly and before her was a dark path, more like a pit. Then after the dark path was a vast land like a desert. She recalled being mauled by her husband and then black out.
But how did she come here?
Did Smart bring her here and maybe dumped her corpse?
This place was strange. She felt her legs…she felt light.
A close study made her realize she was soaring.
"Dead?" The realization stroked her.
She felt a movement behind her and turned in shock to see a canoe being paddled towards her direction.
"Enter!" An old woman beckoned with the paddle.
"Huh?"
"You can't find rest untill we cross the bridge!"
It then dawned on her that the dark pit was a kind of bridge that looked like it was about to collapse.
"Where am i?" She found her voice.
"With time, you'll get use to it!"
"To what?"
"Your spirit has left the sand! Your spirit belongs there!" The old woman pointed at the vast land. "The underworld!"
"I'm ……d..ead?" She stuttered in disbelief.
"Enter!" The old woman said in an urgent manner.

"Vera i warned you about Smart!" The old woman said.
Vera's eyes popped open as the old woman transformed before her.
Alas! She transformed to someone she knew.
"I told you he has a hole in his heart, a hole that gradually gets deeper…ready to devour every soul!"

°•°•°•°•°
Smart scratched his jaw line in fear as he spotted the Doctor moving toward him.
"Doctor, is my wife safe?" He asked, afraid for the unknown.
"Mr.Smart, She is still in comatose and I'm not sure she'll make it. The bleeding was too heavy! She lost the babies".
"What baby?" Smart asked, his eyes wide open.
"She lost her two months pregnancy!"
Smart resumed the scratching session.
"I found leather stripes on her body, what…who did that?" The Doctor observed him.
"We got into a fight!" Smart said and grabbed the Doctor by his coat. "Please save her for me, she's all i got!"
"Mr.Smart, believe me when i tell you that we are trying our best. Her life is not in my hands!" The Doctor walked past him.
"I killed my baby?" He held himself in despair. "I'll never forgive myself if Vera dies!"

°•°•°•°•°•
♪I yam a danfo driver♪
♪shebi you be danfo driver♪

"Shattap dia! I no sabi wetin you deh sing!!" Udoh screamed at Harry.
"Mehn! Una no sabi the kind jolly were deh my mind!" Harry said with a wide grin.
"So because you jolly, person no ko hear word again?" Okon said.
The five of them were sitted in the shed.
"Today na my birthday!!!" Harry squealed.
"So you still deh celebrate birthday like say you be small pikin!" James yapped.
"You no ko close that your mouth! You wey been poo for body" Harry slammed at James.
The latter just shrugged and kept mute.
The circumstances of the previous days had humbled him.
"This evening, i ko flex all of una!" Harry kept on grinning.
"Make i hear word joor! No be say you ko fit buy person better drink!" Okon shrugged.
"You deh doubt me?" Harry stood up. "Okon, this evening you ko see drink cry!"
"No be you be dat kind person!" Peter added.
"Common shattap dia! Abi i don warn you say when big men deh t...."
"Make i hear word! You sabi how many things i don achieve for this life?" Peter said.
"Wetin you don achieve?" James asked.
"I don achieve achievement!" Peter said.
"Make una leave that man, na anointed mad man him be!" Harry said.
"Na una family mad!" Peter fired back.
"Eh! so Harry, how this night ko be now?" James asked.
"We ko enter BACO club!" Harry said."Una wicked ooo, even happy birthday una no fit winch me!"
"Ooh, happy deh day! Heaven lash plenty!" Peter said.
"Aaaamennn!" Harry replied.
"Harry, you na confirm cockroach! U for say 'i wish you the same' " Udoh corrected.
"Happy dead day to my one and only bush professor!" James hailed.
"I wish you the same!" Harry replied.
"Happy birthday to an abandon warehouse of a soul. May you see babes to continue your band of honour!" Okon said.
"oya wish your mama that one!" Harry replied.
"Harry standa make i pray for you!" Udoh got up. "Infact kneel down, let me anoint you!"
"You are not qualified to pray for me, my anointing is greater than your own!" Harry said.
"My friend shutup! Who dash you anointing?" Okon fired at Harry.
"Oya kneel!" Udoh ordered.
Harry knelt reluctantly.
Udoh rubbed his head.
"Why you deh rubb my head?" Harry said in anger.
"I want to spread the anointing through the scalp region!" Udoh said and closed his eyes.
He slapped Harry's head and sighed deeply.
"Which kind yeye play be that!" Harry said.
Udoh kept on rubbing his head and adding occasional slaps to it.
"I ko vex ooo" Harry was loosing it.
"I need to feel the holy father impactation before i accelerate into prayer!" Udoh squeezed his face and began to speak in tongues.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, whence cometh my help. On this very day, the lord made a wasted soul to be born. And that soul was Harry.
The lord led him through trouble making, womanizing and trouble shooting.
Ah! My father my father, you made him a professor with no industrail training.
Ayaya! You made him a Bishop with no ordination.
You made him a chief among demons of men.
Lord, today was the day his mother was screaming in the labour room.
I'm hundred percent sure that his big head refused to come out of the womb in time.
Lord you made him to suck breast for over seven years. That alone describes his big head.
Today i join the host of men to appreciate the idea that a son is born and the whole village was upon his shoulder, and his name was to be called counsellor, wonderful, the everlasting he goat, the prince of piss and the lord of boobs.
He has live a legacy of a great agama lizard. And now he is about to ascend the throne of termites.
Safe journey my brother, the world wasn't an easy place. Rest in the bossom of Mirabel and rest in peace.
You have retired from life as an ordained mofo, you have lived a life of a sanctified agbero from the pit of hell. You are available for your birthday as well as dead day. You have expelled the spirit of terminal kakusa in the plate of akamu. That's why the bible says 'my kingdom is not of this world'.
Harry, your kingdom is not of this world. Your kingdom is with stems of cassava and carcass of vultures......"

"Udoh! God ko punish you!" Harry cursed.
"We will see who he will punish the most. Looking at the situation, you deserve more punishment because you were born today and as you celebrate your birthday, may your pocket be filled with all manners of things that don't concern the people who will leave and die in the threshold of divine surgery........"
"Eh don do!" Harry stood up.
"Better kneel down let this prayer invest into your system!" Udoh said with his eyes closed.
"Udoh, like i said earlier...na God in heaven ko punish you and your yeye prayers!"

tbc....

Y'all should allow him na

Missmossy:
Present keep it coming Noblejohn32, beautiful story!

Please do u can write a book about sexxxx & position please?

TheCork:


Please do u can write a book about sexxxx & position please?

Lol no I can’t. I haven’t written anything in a long time.

Missmossy:

Lol no I can’t. I haven’t written anything in a long time.

Ok. Please can we quickly talk about sexxxx for 2 minute

Mr.Cork, with due respects, don't derail the thread...

Happy birthday to Harry. Thanks for the update

Adeola25:
Happy birthday to Harry. Thanks for the update

he appreciates....
thanks for viewing.

Episode 9
Happy Birthday

*BACO Club- Eket*

The sound system boozed at different angles in the club. Everyone was in high spirit as they screamed and gyrated their body to the mix.
The disc jockey was an expert in the game of mixing. The coloured light added colour to the gathering.
Clanking of bottles here and there made the atmosphere exciting.
Today was Harry's birthday.
Harry and his friends sat at one corner admiring the half nude ladies that roamed round the vicinity.
"Today ko make die!!!" Okon gasped and shuddered in excitement.
Their table were filled with over eight black and green bottles, there was a half filled crate of heneiken close to them.
"Harry my man!" Udoh called.
"Speak my lord!!!"
"You've suprised your enemies!!!"
"Yes!" Harry nodded.
"You are the bomb!" Udoh said.
"Yes!"
"Why are you yesing" Udoh asked.
"My lord, what do you want me to say" Harry asked.
From the tone and content of their conversation, they were high.
"This is the twelve bottle of anointing water which i have anionted my spirit!" Okon screamed.
"So… prof, today is your birthday...am i right?" Okon asked.
"Yes my lord!" Harry replied.
"How old are you?"
"Very old my lord!"
"That's very stupid of you!"
"Yes my lord!!" Harry nodded.
"Before you answer a question, first ofall weigh the consequence of your answers! Is that clear?" Okon held his ears.
"Yes my lord!" Harry nodded and threw a handful of weed into his mouth and chewed.
"Harry, how do you know that today is your birthday" Okon asked.
"I know na!"
"How?"
"Make una shattap! This council is not a classroom!" Peter slammed the table.
A particular call girl caught his fancy.
"Make una check out that babe for me!" Peter said.
His friends tried to focus their vision but failed woefully as they saw triple of everything.
"Peter don't walk on the sea alone!" James said, eyes closed.
"Huh?"
"Wait for the master, let him lead you on!" James kept on blabbing.
"Wetin this fool deh talk!" Harry slapped James across the face.
"Peter, who touched me?" James asked.
"James don mad!!!" Okon chuckled.
"Peter, who touched me? For i have felt the power out of me!" James said.
"Na me slap you!" Harry said.
"Go son, your faith has made thee whole!"
Peter shook his head and stood up.
"Weh you deh go?" Okon asked.
"Check out everybody's table, this table no deh complete!" Peter said.
"I am the author and finisher of your faith. I will complete the uncompleted!!" James said.
"Shayo na bastard!!!" Harry folded his hand in mock pity as he watched saliva tickle down from James' mouth.
"Why he no ko craze, no be him chop all the weed weh deh this tray?" Okon screamed.
"Mirriam, where is your ex-boyfriend, bring him here. I want to pass judgement!" James screamed.
"James my man! You see your life?" Peter folded his hands.
"Mirriam, your pregnancy is up to five years, are you still pregnant. Infection!! Holy ghost!!! Let your will be done. I am tired of my destiny!!!"
"Make we tie him mouth" Okon suggested.
"Leave am!!" Harry said.
"I wan go chyke that babe?" Peter shifted his chair and made a step.
"Harry commot leg?" Peter staggered.
"Commot which leg? My leg deh disturb you?" Harry screamed.
"Do make i pass na?" Peter kicked the air.
"See wahala oo" Harry shrugged.
"Buhari, give our girls scholarship!! They are paying too much in private church!!" Udoh screamed.
"Ohhh my guys don start to deh mad one by one. Igboh no good ooo" Harry kept his hand on his head.
"Iffa die now, make person no bury me. Make them leave me, i will rise again and die by myself!" James screamed.
"Oya go tell ya village people that one!" Okon replied.
"Destroy this temple, i will build it back in sixty years. I no be Jesus!" Udoh slammed the table and the bottles fell to the ground.
"Gosh!" Harry cursed.
"Harry today is your birthday, can you narrate an essay to your ancestors?" That was James again.
"Harry commot leg make i pass na?" Peter kept on screaming.
Okon and Harry stood up in alarm.
"Peter i no deh block your road!"
"Peter walk on the sea, don't fear!" James screamed.
As if on cue, Peter took a step and screamed.
"Save me master, I'm drowning!" Peter screamed and fell down flat.
Harry knew the situation was out of hand. He called the waitress and paid the bills.
"Wetin we ko do these idiots??" Okon held his waist and examined them.
Harry left and soon returned with a taxi man.
With combined effort, they were able to transfer the two dead souls into the car.
But when it was Peter's turn, he started screaming.
"Make una leave me oooo, the master will save me! Police catch these robbers, they wan thief my canvas ooo"
A slap from one of the bouncers saved the moment.

°•°•°•°•°•°
Teaching Hospital- Uyo

The extracorporeal membrane oxygenation machines withdrew the blood of Vera,oxygenated it, and pump it back into her body, keeping her alive—or something like it.
The Doctors were trying all their best. She was intubated in triage and managed in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) with mechanical ventilation and supportive care.
But her spirit was far away... in another realm.


Victoria sailed the boat, a humming a tune.
"Am i dead?" Vera asked.
"I don't know, but you should be!" Victoria replied and kept on humming.
"I'm still trying to come to terms with my environment!" Vera kept on staring at the strange icy river. The air she breathed was different.
"Victoria!" She called.
"Yea?"
"Who killed you?" She asked.
"You were present that day, why asking?" She shot a cold glance.
Vera trembled in fear.
"Was i?"
"You don't recall....oops sorry, this transition is kinda physiologically stressful. But you'll get your memory as time goes by!"
"I want to return back!" Vera said.
Victoria chuckled.
"Please Vicky send me back" she pleaded.
"You still wish to return to that cursed beast?" She was loosing her cool as her eyes flashed and lightening strucked.
Vera shivered in fear.
"Not that...not...that" Vera stuttered. "I wish to return to my family.... please".
"Vera, my friend, it is not in my power to grant that. I'm just a spirit like you".
She paddled the boat towards the west.
"That veil...that bridge seperates the land of the living from the dead. Your body will soon decay as its force of warmth isn't available. Once the bridge is crossed, there is no going back!" Victoria commenced her humming session.
Vera breathed in resignation.
"So what next?"
"I'm taking you to the tent!"
"The tent?" Vera asked in deep confusion.
"The tent is the home of all spirit.... You remember Taiwo?"
"Taiw...."
"Your boyfriend when we wrote NECO?"
Realization dawned on Vera.
"I met him here, remember he died of asthma few months before we got admission!"
"Yes…but why isn't he here with you to welcome me?"
Victoria laughed...her laughter sounded like a soft chirp of a sparrow.
"Why laughing?" Vera took offence.
"Ohh were you expecting a grand welcome party? Don't worry Praise and i will arrange that!"
"Praise?"
"Yea! She died shortly after her service... motor accident!"
Vera breathed hard.
The tales of woes were weakening her spirit mind.
"How did you know i was coming?"
"Ooh!! I never knew, i just went for a stroll and i sighted your spirit hovering round the veil so i rushed back to the red harbour to get a boat...."
"You still stroll?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind! You never stopped strolling in life."
"I can't also stop strolling in dead!" Victoria smiled.

"Miss! Fight this!! Dont give up!!!

Vera stood up in alarm.
"What is it?"

"Miss! Fight!! Don't give up!!!"

Vera tilted her head sidewards and covered her ears with both hands.

"Vera! Your family is outside, they are weeping, do you want to leave them?"

"Someone is screaming in my head!!!" Vera screamed.

tbc....

Episode 10
The Spirit gathering


Vera stood dazed and confused, the voices screaming in her head didn't stop.
Victoria dropped the paddle in the boat and rushed to her.
"Are you okay?"
Vera nodded, her palms covering her ears.
"I hear voices!"
"Voices, where?" Victoria helped her sit.
"In my head!"
"What did the voice say?"
"Fight!....that's what i keep hearing"
Victoria's eyes popped.
"You aren't dead?" Victoria examined her.
"I don't kno........Ahhhh!" Vera held her head.

'Miss fight this!!!"

Vera fidgeted on the boat.
"If you still hear voices from the other part, that means you aren't dead".
"But what am i doing here?"
"I'm as confused as you are" She grabbed the paddle and rowed the boat.

•°•°•°•°•°
Timi sighed for the tenth time. He had been driving and his phone was at the back seat.
The caller refused to give up as the phone kept on ringing.
He maneuvered the car and found a good parking point. He turned grabbed the phone and swiped the green icon.
"Hello"
"Timi baby!"
The voice dawned on him.
"Bernice, longest time. I'm sorry i couldn't call, you know how our work is. How is your dad?"
"Timi, I'm pregnant!"
"You're what?"

•°•°•°•°•°•°
Vera gasped in horror as she saw myriad of spirit on plain garment soaring few inches above solid ground.
"This is the tent!" Victoria dropped the paddle and held Vera's hand and together they soared out of the boat.
The feeling was interesting to Vera as she felt light.
The spirit dramatically created a space for her to pass by.
Vera turned back and saw fleet of boats sailing towards them.
"Those are spirits who just transcended from the mortal world" Victoria helped her off the confusion.
Truth be told, everywhere felt strange.
"Vvvvvera!" Someone screamed.
Vera turned toward the direction of the voice.
"Praise!!!!!" She squealed and soared towards her.
They hugged each other.
"I miss you!" They said almost in unison.
"What happened to you?" Praise asked.
"You mean?"
"She was killed by that devil!" Victoria spat.
Vera turned to her with a cold look.
"I happened to be around the bridge during the time you were assaulted" Victoria said and settled on a cliff.
"I can just come to....."
"Is it true?" Praise asked.
"What?" Vera asked in confusion.
"Does Smart have a h...."
"He didn't do it on purpose, we had a fight" She couldn't understand why she defended him.
Victoria chuckled lightly.
"You are still stupid!"
"And you're still mean!" Vera replied her.
"Where is Taiwo?" Vera asked.
"We need to look for him!" Victoria replied and soared.
"How will we spot him amongst these people?"
"Dont worry!"
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Vera held her throbbing head.
"What's happening?" Praise asked in fear.
A bright light shone across Vera's face and she saw her lifeless body on the hospital bed with all sort of tubes connected to her.
In a flash, she saw her husband looking dejected, her family wailing, and screaming her name.
"What is it?" Praise asked.
"I don't belong here!" Vera took a step backward.
A powerful force swept her upwards.
"Veeerrra don't leave us!!!!" Praise cried.
"Vera!"
She looked down and saw a man, her eyes popped in realization.
"Taiwo!!"
"It is me" He nodded and stretched forth a hand. "Take my hand!"
Vera was torn between two realms.
The realms of men and the realms of the spirit.
"You promised never to leave me but you left and now providence has given us the opportunity to unite! Don't go back to the world, it is filled with evil!" Taiwo cried, he tried to soar closer to her but couldn't .
"Vera don't!" Praise and Victoria cried in unison.
"Reject that force and it will free your spirit!" Taiwo screamed.
Vera saw her crying mother, her senior sister, her husband, the Doctors sweating over in their lab coat.
"Think about us!" He breathed.
She closed her eyes and recalled the memories they shared. Taiwo and Vera.
She struggled with the torrent, she tried to gain her balance but couldn't.
Her friends sensing her difficulty tried to soar towards her but couldn't.
"Vera, through clouds and sunshine, please stay with me!" Taiwo screamed.

"You are not yet one of us, your time among men still counts!" A voice in the wind said.
"Your time with us counts!" They screamed in unison.
Vera struggled with the wind but she felt herself flowing with its torrent.
"You remembered the day i gave you a necklace, you remembered what you told me?" Taiwo wailed. "You said you will never leave me. Our love was strong in life, it is still strong in dead. Don't you feel it in your spirit?"
Vera gasped and struggled with the torrent.
"Vera don't go back to Smart, make a choice and break the wind!" Victoria screamed.
"Yes! Vera let the torrent know your choice" Praise cried out.
Vera screamed out in despair, she was torn between two realms.
The people she loved were on one side and the ones she cared about were on the other.
"Taiwo i care!" She managed to scream above the raging torrent. "But my family is priority!"
"Nooooooo" He screamed and soared towards her breaking the torrent. The love in him fueled his movement. He glided through the torrent and made to grab her spirit but she disappeared.
"Vera please stay with me!!!!" He screamed. "Abide with me, you promised me that!" He screamed in rage and a powerful thunder bolt followed.
"Don't despair, you'll see her one day!" Praise said in tears.
Taiwo closed his eyes and breathed hard.
"I can't wait for one day!" He soared towards the direction of the bridge.
"Where are you going?" Victoria asked.
"Following Vera!"
"She was just a wandering soul, she wasn't dead in the physical yet!" Victoria soared with him.
He glided and faced her.
"I vowed never to cross over to the other side but now i won't keep that vow!"
Victoria held him tight.
"Are you out of your mind? You've been buried! That adventure is dangerous. We can only find true rest here. What if you cross and never come back!"
Taiwo gritted his teeth.
"I can't stay here knowing the woman i love is...."
"So you want to go and kill her?"
"No! I just want to watch over her?"
"You'll scare her!"
"She won't see me!"
"She will"
"How are you sure? Mortals can't see beyond the veil an......"
"When i was dead, i didn't cross over to this side. I stayed round and i was suprised that she saw me!" She held his hand.
"If you love her, you'll let her be. Your presence in her life will add more trouble and if she attacks you diabolically, you'll be locked up here forever!"
Taiwo smiled at her.
"I'll be careful!"


He soared towards the bridge and hovered around it continuously.
His light began to diminish.
"Septan across the bridge"
"Septan across the bridge"
"SSSSEPTAN!!!!!!"
A heavy storm brewed, he screamed and disappeared.
Taiwo was now in the realms of men.

•°•°•°•°•
The heart monitor beeped signifying the normalcy of the heart beat.
The nurse observed her closely and noticed the slight movement of her fingers.
"Praise God! She is alive!" The nurse screamed in excitement.

tbc....

Thanks

Seems another update was removed
*Sighs

Thanks for the update
More ink to ur pen

Mods, with due respect, this shit is getting out of hand.
The ban is just too much!
Who have i offended?
I'm not paid for this, why does my post gets deleted everytime?

This is discouraging!
Spending time, racking the brain, trying to fix something. Only to discover it being deleted is simply wickedness!!!

I really want to know my offence so that i can make amends.
And please unhide my posts...

Cc.Divepen1
Cc.Obinnau

Noble literati(s), sorry for the lack of updates...the ban issue is getting on nerves and freaking me out.

Ghost readers, you are not trying...

I'm scared to update cuz another ban might be loading....

Noblejohn32:
Mods, with due respect, this shit is getting out of hand.
The ban is just too much!
Who have i offended?
I'm not paid for this, why does my post gets deleted everytime?

This is discouraging!
Spending time, racking the brain, trying to fix something. Only to discover it being deleted is simply wickedness!!!

I really want to know my offence so that i can make amends.
And please unhide my posts...

Cc.Divepen1
Cc.Obinnau

Sorry about that.

Divepen1 please do something about this

mhizv:

Sorry about that. Divepen1 please do something about this

Mhizv, thanks for being there...

SpiceyD2020:
Thanks for the update More ink to ur pen

Thank you...

Episode 11


Double Confusion

Timi roamed his office compartment, a bit dazzled. The thought of being a father was somewhat unbelievable to him.
Bernice was a nice, beautiful...infact a wife material. He had no problem with her carrying his baby.
His worries was on Lydia...the poor lady will literaly bath him with acid.

A knock on the door launched him back to reality.

"Who is that?" He bellowed
"Corporal Etuk!"
"Come in!" Timi ordered and took his seat.
"Good day agent!" Etuk saluted and Timi dismissed him with a wave.
"Sir the culprit is here!" Etuk pushed a tall lanky man into the office.
The man staggered limply into the office, his face was battered and his body was bloody.
"Mr....ehm....what's the name?" Timi scratched his head.
"Barnabas!" The man voiced weakly.
"Are you ready to tell me the truth?" Timi stretched his body forward.
"I have been saying the truth but una no wan listen...i no...."
"Sharrap criminal!" Etuk screamed.
"Ok...corporal, you can leave!" Timi said and grabbed his notepad.
"Shun sir!" Etuk saluted and exited the office.
Timi stared at the man for a few seconds and cleared his throat.
"So...Barnabas, did you kill the lady?"
"I.."
"The truth" Timi barked.
"I really loved the lady, i can't kill the woman i loved!" The man began sobbing.
Timi's phone distracted them.
He peered at the screen.

Timi: "Hello"

Lydia: Congrats my love.

Timi: Eh? Good day...what's the occassion?

Lydia: Guess

Timi: Please, I'm in the middle of an investigation....go straight to the point.

Lydia: You're about to be a father.

Jehovah!!!

Timi: Lydia, this isn't april and aprilfool won't work.....

Lydia: I'm so elated, and you know what...I'm carrying triplet.

George of the jungle!!!

Timi: Can you explain yourself, what are you saying..who gave you triplet?

Lydia: This calls for celebration...I'll be dropping by your apartment this evening.

Timi: Lydia wait...I'm not understanding you.
Damn!!! He almost smashed the phone on the ground.

"Congratulation sir....don't panic, i know the feeling of being a father for the first time" That was Barnabas speaking.
"Sharrap dia! Infact...congratulation kill you dia!! You are a criminal for congratulating me instead of pitying me" Timi roared.
"Officer, I'm sorry..."
"God will punish you and your congrating mouth!" Timi stood up.
"This can't be true!!!"
He made for the door.
"Officer please come and finish my case na" Barnabas pleaded.
"You are finished already...you don't need me to finish your case!" He unlocked the door.
"Etuk...Etuk..come and delete this guy from my office!"

•°•°•°•°•°
African Church of Jehovah

Harry and his friends alighted from a taxi and marched into the hall.
The praise and worship session was in progress.
The church was hosting her monthly revival and Harry was earlier appointed to minister.
Harry and his crew took the front pew.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
Vera was wheeled from the Intensive care unit into another ward for treatment.

"She is conscious!!!" The Doctor announced to the depressed family.
They jumped up in shock and joy.
"Where is she....can i see her..." They bombarded the doctor with questions.
"We'll start with her family...i mean her husband!"
"Yes" Smart breathed hard. "I hope she is far from danger!"
The feeling of guilt was still brewing inside of him.
"Come with me!" The Doctor ordered Smart.
He gave his mother-inlaw a reassuring smile and followed after the Doctor.

°•°•°•°•°•°•
After the rendition from the senior choir, the moderator took over the microphone.
"The lord is good!"
"All the time" The congregation replied.
"And all the time!"
"The lord is good!' The congregation echoed.
"We are now on item seven and that is the word of God...so i want everyone to be sober...i want you all to know that this moment is the most important. So i call on Brother Harry Udeme to come bless us with the bread of life".
The praise team took the floor as they sang 'Bread of life by Fred Hammond'.

Harry straightened his well starched shirt and made a majestic walk to the podium.

"Praise Jehovah, three in one!" Harry charged.
"Izza priviledge to be called upon the holy altar, my mates are being called upon to smoke, some are called upon to die but God called me to minister...He is worthy" He closed his eyes and breathed.

"Father i worship thee for an addictive menstrical colatipal spirit...you are adonai..the chief of chiefs, you call me from the gutter and gave me everlasting knockout. Who are wa? None is to be chemically equated with your celestial power. I commit this technical session into thy hands...lord let this session yield fruits Amen!" He opened his eyes.

Laughter erupted from the congregation.

"Iffu like laugh at me, today...oops tonight, i will be preaching on the topic i tagged "senseless men and ladies" i repeat "senseless men and ladies".
You might be wondering how i come about such brastificated topic, but it is not my doing...it is the cross.
As i was sleeping, i saw myself before the cross...Jesus is the cross...Look at the cross...It is an embodiment of sanctified respiratory falcolistic menzimemzi.
I'll take my reading from isaiah4 vs 1
and it says:

In that day so few men will be left that seven women will fight for each man, saying, Let us all marry you! We will provide our own food and clothing. Only let us take your name so we won’t be mocked as old maids.

The Bible saw everything, that the will come a time seven women will rush for one man...and it is happening.
Before i begin to manipulate, i want to inform the church that this sermon will be long....very, very long.

Now, let's talk about senseless ladies. Before in life, it was easy for a man to approach a lady and ask for a relationship but now it is hard.
Why?
Because women are so engaged to material things.
They refused to look at the cross.
and after spending their youthful years enjoying all size of dick, they will now rush to marry. They will now start begging men for marriage.

My sister stop all those life and look at the cross...the cross is standing opulentifically before you.
Stop following senseless men for dick and money, because as they are fucking you, they are also fucking your brain.
When menopause comes, it will pause all men and that time you'll be begging for man.
Amen?
Now let's go to senseless men.
You satanic kingdom of men that reasons with your dick, heaven is watching you.
You don't save your money, you follow woman up and down.
Are you a diabetes mellitus?
I command castration on all the satanic men in this place.
Think about your life...most men doesn't have future...even at the unripe age of fifty, they don't have sense...the more you release sperm is the more you loose your senses.
So, in respect to the lizernifadio beristicus, i humbly charge all senseless women to receive sense.
All senseless people around the world, receive sense.
Women start now to look for husband, so that you'll not join other women to be dragging husbands.
Be wise so that the prophecy of isaiah will not manifest in ya life.
Stand up for prayers.

tbc....

Na wa o

What did they remove again!

So sorry about the posts been deleted and ban ish Noblejohn32, Divepen1 kindly assist.

Thanks for the update

Episode 12

Cross.

Okon-Eket

Harry closed his bible and faced the congregation.
"I know most of you don't like this gospel, many of you thought that i wanted to give you people the bread of life....but this gospel isn't bread, it is stone...it is time for prayers...i want you all to readjustifrate your fatohobic mind....i want you all to ragradefy your scunthorpic mind, i want you all to look at the cross!".
The congregation were baffled at Harry's neck breaking words.
"Look at the cross, Chisos died naked on the cross....the cross is before you...look at the cross!" He stretched his hand, and made the sign of the cross.
Not withstanding, the atmosphere was a bit tensed, as the spirit of God took over.
"Are you ready to kabash?"
"Yes!" The congregation screamed.
"Now say...Oh lord, every slay -mama spirit...that has exchanged the position of my brain....repeat after me!" He screamed at the congregation.
The congregation repeated his words.
"Let it catch fire...begin to pray!"
The whole members began to pray.
Harry stamped his foot on the ground and spoke in several unknown tongues...maybe the tongues of his ancestors.
He rang a bell to signal a break.
"Oh lord.."
"Oh lord..." The members echoed.

"Every salunfirizied locomotive jazz!"

"Every...." The members couldn't make out the other words.

Harry didn't mind.

"Every lumbaristic bukucanada ghost"

SILENCE!!!

Harry opened his eyes.
"You see...you are not in the spirit with me...my brother and sister, look at the cross...i get my words from the cross!"
The members cheered.
"Now let's move to our family house...i don't know the means of transportation you'll use...but me I'll use keke-napep!"
The members took some steps forward.
"Who is that yellow nyansh demon that say you will not get married?"
The women screamed in tongues.
"Who is that menostophobic salinabadtic, bezebeze that say you'll not see husband...i command that demon to jam the cross and dieeeeeee!"
"Ammmmmmennnn!"
"Oh Cross...jam somebori, ...now repeat after me....oh cross"

"Oh cross" The members screamed.

"Cross nack person mental"

"Cross hit somebody!" The church echoed.
"Don't say what i didn't say....i switch to pidgin because most of our family witches are illiterates...so if you speak english, they won't understand!"
The members screamed.

"Now repeat after me....Cross"

"Cross.." the members screamed.

"Any witch weh deh paint my face with shit.."

"Any..."

"Ahhh...you people are behaving like Judas....Be strong. There was a lady i knew, a very pretty...appetizic lady,calm and centifugal in nature, but she didn't see husband..you know why?"

"Ride on sir!" The members screamed.

"Who told me ride on? Am i riding bicycle? Have you seen me riding something on this altar? Most of you use to smoke carbide before coming to this church...and you know what?
You made a big mistake smoking today before coming..because cross will knack ya teeths off and before you leave this stadium, your mouth won't be conducive for you to smoke".
"So as i said....or as i was saying, this pretty lady didn't see husband...do you know why?"
"Noooo" The church echoed.
"You all are in the flesh, when you're in the spirit, you're supposed to know everything...you're not with the cross...now hold the cross"
The members held the imaginable cross.
"Where is the cross you're holding?" Harry asked.
"Una no deh serious...you're to hold the cross in the spirit...just look at how all of you are struggling to hold the pillar, is pillar cross? Christ didn't die on the pillar, he died on the cross or do you want him to die again on a pillar?"
The members were getting tired.

"Do you know how many vigils the witches in your houses use to keep ontop your matter? Do you want them to succeed?"

"Nooo" the members charged.

"Then use ya head...now this pretty lady didn't see husband because she had mouth odour. Brethren, to say her mouth was smelling shit is an understatement...permit me to humbly say that her mouth odour was a combination of ozone layers coupled with the photosynthetic carbon -baby- oxide and isotopy of shit oxide and calistic alloy of glycogen manure....sorry for that long chemical equation, only PHD holders of chemical engine will understand. Now, any man that want to approach this lady will always collapse, some use to die because of her mouth odour....somebody say mouth odour!"

"Mouth odour!" The members echoed.

"The lady baff with the best soap, she flitted fifty seven cans of perfume a day but couldn't ....instead of the perfume to mask the odour, the perfume now added a divine smell to the mouth odour making it to smell like perfumated adorable odour....the lady even graduated from perfume and started using Rambo insecticides but it didn't work....somebody say it didn't work!"
"It didn't work!" The church echoed.

"The lady rotated for eleven years, no husband....because of odour...somebody say odour!"

"Odour!" The church replied.

"But when the woman came in contact with Cross, she had a serene lambodial fuzy-rizy with the cross! Her life was changed....after that somebody confessed! Do you know who confessed?"

The members not wanting his spiritual speech wahala kept mute and urged him to talk, obviously they were enjoying the session.

"The Lady's grand mother confessed, she said that she painted the girl's picture with her shit....somebody shout fire!"

"Fire!" The church screamed in holy anger.

"Say oh lord...."

"Oh lord...."
"Every grand mother that has use shit to paint my life!"
The members repeated.
"Let the cross jam that person....begin to pray...jalabaabaserena!" Harry began to kabash in tongues.
After some minutes had elapsed, he rang the bell.
"Say Oh lord..."
"Oh lord..." The members repeated.
"Every yeye boyfriend...."
That prayer point energized the ladies as they screamed.

"Every political boyfriend....you know what i mean by political boyfriend! Some ladies have dated a man since 1990 till date, no marriage...nothing to show forth..Most boyfriends have sweet mouth like our politician, they will promise you car, shopping allowance, iphone, wedding anniversary,....and when you answer their proposal, they turn you to a fuvcking device...those are yeye boyfriends...Ladies are you ready to destroy that yeye boyfriend?"

"Yessssss!" The ladies screamed.

"Oh lord..."

"Oh lord..." The ladies screamed.

"Every yeye boyfriend in my life, let them catch fire! Let the cross jam them...begin to pray!"
The Ladies prayed like their life depended on the prayer.
"Men, why are you not praying?....oh...the prayer wasn't for you?"

"Yess!" The men echoed.

"Ok...Say, Oh lord..."

"Oh lord..." The men echoed.

"If i be a yeye boyfriend, let fire come down from heaven..."

SILENCE!!!

Even Harry himself, was shocked at the prayer point he mentioned.
"God punish the Devil!" He said and rang the bell. "My fellow men, i didn't say fire should burn anybody ooo, i just said it should come down.........Ladies, are you ready to kabash...."

"Yes! Yes!!" Some were already barefooted, ready to pray...marriage matter isn't a joke.
"Now say, oh lord..."

"Oh lord..." Some ladies were already speaking in tongues.

"Every spirit of lying mohammed in my spouse, that makes him to feed me with false information.."

"Every spirit of Lai Mohammed in my spouse that makes him to feed me with false information" The ladies echoed.

"Noooooo!" Harry screamed like a bull caught by the horns and rang the bell continuously.

"I don't mean the minister of Information, i mean the spirit of lying...ladies take note...lying mohamned is a spirit in some men...some men can lie for the cross...
Baby, I'm rich, i yam a enterpreneur, i have landed properties...i from plane come reach, i no deh enter taxi. Iffu date me I'll be paying you minimum wage every month.
That's how they lie, you have landed properties, but in your room..when rain fall...you'll keep basin everywhere...even on ya bed. You say you are an enterpreneur but you recharge hundred naira card once in every six months! That's how some men lie, and it is not their fault but the lying muhammed in them....now ladies begin to command fire on them!"

After five minutes had elapsed, he rang the bell.
"Men are you ready to kabash..."
"Yessss!" The men roared.
"Say, oh lord..."
"Oh lord..."

"Every scammer that is after my money...every gold digger...every lady that has turn me into a mugu money spender...may such lady be crushed by the cross!"

The Ladies kept quiet, while the men roared in spirit.

After fifteen minutes had elapsed, he rang the bell.

"Church i want to testify...i was once a mugu spender, some times ago i met a lady named Vera, to say i spent money on her was an understatement, i literally sponsored her education...she chopped me home and away...but when God say it is over, believe me it is over!
I spent more than half a million and she was giving her boyfriend my money...i cried... When i had an encounter with the cross, i was delivered...now i can chop and kill myself with my money without worrying about a scammer.
May that cross that located me at the junction of my foolishness, locate all mugu spenders in Jesus name!"

"Amen!"

"Now, it is time for deliverance....many of us are container for demons...and that demons have destroyed our destiny....now let me tell you something...There was a man who had the demon of foolishness, he was a master degree holder but since he came in contact with these demon, he lost his senses...anytime he goes for an interview, he'll forget even the meaning of a noun...do you know what happened?"

"Tell us sir.." The members echoed.

Wonder how it's gonna be when Bernice and Lydia finally meet


Divepen1 please look into why his post keep getting deleted,after updating. Or better still tell him what he's doing wrong. Another has been removed

This mods are funny, so i can't update my thread again at will.

I get a ban with my updates deleted only to see the update hours later.

*sighs*

Fans, watch this space...if you don't see an update in five minutes just know that the mods are at it again....and don't forget to check previous post to read so as not to get confused or lost.

Divepen1 na your guy na....pls look into the issue...its disheartening...

contd......


"Iffu want to know, go to any film shop around you, and ask for the movie titled "The Master degree holder". Buy it and watch, I'm not here to say movies...this isn't a nollywood session!"

Most members grumbled.
"Every marine spirit, spirit of madness, every senseless spirit...i command you to leave in Jesus name....ushers watch out...someone is falling under anionting!"

The congregation was on fire, people were falling under anionting.
Harry himself was amazed...the spirit was in motion.
Screams here and there, manifestation here and there.

"Ushers watch out....spiritual distancing...i repeat spiritual distancing...don't go too close so that the demons won't be transfered to you....those of you without demons smilling at the ones under anionting..I'll advise you to off ya bluetooth to prevent transfer!" Harry kept on ministering.

A muscular man under manifestation screamed and broke loose from the ushers who tried to hold him, he threw punches to some who stood on his way and rushed towards the altar.

Harry's eyes almost popped out as he spotted the ferocious man running towards him.
"Ushers hold that man!" Harry screamed in fear.

But the ushers themselves were scared.
Harry was confused whether to run or not, the muscular man jumped and held his shirt almost choking him in the process.

"Abeg wetin be this one na?" Harry cried.
Saliva dripped from the man's mouth, the man had a menacing look.
Harry peed on his trousers.

"Ushers come hold this man, no be me give am demon!" Harry cried.

The man shook him terribly.

"Abeg me na just guest minister, see pastor dia" Harry pointed to the podium.
The members just stared on in suprise.

"Harry take charge! Rebuke that demon and it'll flee!" The Pastor said.

"Kuku come rebuke am na, this one don pass my anionting...James, Udoh come hold this demon!" Harry was crying.
The man brought his mouth forward and licked Harry's nose.

"Chai!!!" Harry cried.

"Don't let that demon sense your fear...challenge him...the power is in you" Pastor Emmanuel surged forward.

"Jesus i know" The man growled more like a dog. "Paul i know, Peter i know, Pastor Emmanuel i know...who are you?" The demon possesed man spoke with saliva dripping making him look like a vampire.

"I be cross...i be cross" That was the last word Harry said before he passed out.

tbc....

Nice one op....
Still i follow

Couldn't stop laughing. Make the possessed man leave my Harry alone oo. Thanks for the update Op

SpiceyD2020:
Nice one op.... Still i follow

we flow together

Adeola25:
Couldn't stop laughing. Make the possessed man leave my Harry alone oo. Thanks for the update Op

you are Blessed...