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I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 12:33pm On Oct 25, 2011
I am very unhappy in my marriage right now because i dont have any fond felling to the woman i am married to.She was recommended to me as a wife by my parents after they told me to breakup and do away with my ex on the ground that she"s frm a different tribe and too modern for their taste.My wife is obedient but then i dont have any felling for her.I have tried all my best to be attracted to her but the felling is just not there.Everyday i close from work i go home with an empty feeling in my stomach wondering if this is what marriage is all about.My marriage is just too dull and worse of it all my wife is steadily getting fatter and fatter by the day.Of recent my ex called on me to know how marriage life is with me and all the fond feelings i had for her flooded back to me.Right now i am thinking of running away from my wife and kid because my marriage is killing me with boredom.I wish i hadnt gotten into this marriage.I wish i never listened to my parents and got married to my ex.This is my price for being the obedient son i guess.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by MrCork17: 12:38pm On Oct 25, 2011
Zulu!! Bro Is she Black? you want my advise? angry
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 12:44pm On Oct 25, 2011
na wah ooo grin grin grin grin
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 12:48pm On Oct 25, 2011
Mr, Cork:

Zulu!! Bro Is she Black? you want my advise? angry
my wife is nigerian like me
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by MrCork17: 12:53pm On Oct 25, 2011
swallu:

my wife is nigerian like me

big mistake. Bro, is she light skin or dark skin? angry
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Honeycity(f): 12:54pm On Oct 25, 2011
marriage is for the matured mind only!
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by wendybaby(f): 12:56pm On Oct 25, 2011
@ swallu, if u think u ll get genuine advice frm here, u must be kidding.
u had better repost this thread to family section.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Candyness(f): 1:36pm On Oct 25, 2011
OP. Have you seeked Couselling?
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 1:44pm On Oct 25, 2011
I cant imagine myself getting married to a woman i am not attracted to even if my parents try to force me.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 2:10pm On Oct 25, 2011
[size=14pt]So what exactly do you want?

Happiness
Fondness
Attraction for your wife. .

Or you just want some gawd damn silly opinions from some idiosyncratic posters on how to chase your wife away or better still, tips, hints, frequently asked questions on "Away Match 101"? Which is it? I couldnt make out a clear cut tangential from your post above.

Thank you in advance! smiley [/size]

1 Like

Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by kpolli(m): 5:11pm On Oct 25, 2011
Eeya. . . I hope parents stop making this mistake. . .
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by BABE3: 5:30pm On Oct 25, 2011


@OP:

lol @ she's getting fatter and fatter.

You shouldn't have married her! Obedient son gini? Are your parents around to feel your pain now? No. You have a kid with her? You complicated matters bro.

Anyways--you don enter am, but E never spoil. Hope still dey.

Happiness and Love can't be forced. That being said, you need to dig deep and find something you like about her; even if it's just one thing. Capitalize on that; build on that, and the love will grow eventually. There're happy days ahead. As for your Ex, get her out of the picture asap. You don't want to be a cheating husband. smiley

In a mature and clever way, tell her to lose weight and start looking more attractive. You two should work on things. Spice it up! Go for counselling, if you have to.


@ women: Pls take care of yourselves for your respective husbands. The OP's wife doesn't know what "trouble" she's in now. She's busy eating all the "edibles". Oga!

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Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Creamish(f): 5:33pm On Oct 25, 2011
Y dont u take a moment, get a pen and paper and itemise whatever u hate about the marriage/u'd luv to change or what u miss about ur ex . . . . then discuss ur points with ur wife. Get her to understand the way u feel without being harsh. Dont blame ur wife for ur parent's decision . . .rather, make her understand that her weight gives u growing concern and help her work on it. She has a child for u . . . not all families can boast of their own child . .

Try and see the good in ur marriage always. A positive attitude will help boost ur happiness.  wink

5 Likes

Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by pendo89(f): 5:37pm On Oct 25, 2011
swallu:

I am very unhappy in my marriage right now because i dont have any fond felling to the woman i am married to.She was recommended to me as a wife by my parents after they told me to breakup and do away with my ex on the ground that she"s frm a different tribe and too modern for their taste.My wife is obedient but then i dont have any felling for her.I have tried all my best to be attracted to her but the felling is just not there.Everyday i close from work i go home with an empty feeling in my stomach wondering if this is what marriage is all about.My marriage is just too dull and worse of it all my wife is steadily getting fatter and fatter by the day.Of recent my ex called on me to know how marriage life is with me and all the fond feelings i had for her flooded back to me.Right now i am thinking of running away from my wife and kid because my marriage is killing me with boredom.I wish i hadnt gotten into this marriage.I wish i never listened to my parents and got married to my ex.This is my price for being the obedient son i guess.

grin grin grin sorry bro but the bolded got my ribs cracking.

I wish I had something to tell you but am dumbfounded. Sorry for the situation though.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 5:38pm On Oct 25, 2011
me sef i sure say op na igbo woman he marry because from wetin i know about igbo women dem always dey start adding excess weight as soon as dem dey married.Me no know wether na fattening room dem dey put them grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by MrsChima1(f): 5:41pm On Oct 25, 2011
This is what happen when parents/families get involve.

1 Like

Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by cantell(m): 5:42pm On Oct 25, 2011
lefulefu:

me sef i sure say op na igbo woman he marry because from wetin i know about igbo women dem always dey start adding excess weight as soon as dem dey married.Me no know wether na fattening room dem dey put them grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Sharrap dia! You dey craze?

4 Likes

Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by BABE3: 5:44pm On Oct 25, 2011
Mrs, Chima:

This is what happen when parents/families get involve.  

I know right. At least, this will teach the OP an unsolicited lesson to not tamper with his own children's happiness.  
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by coogar: 5:45pm On Oct 25, 2011
swallu:

I am very unhappy in my marriage right now because i dont have any fond felling to the woman i am married to.She was recommended to me as a wife by my parents after they told me to breakup and do away with my ex on the ground that she"s frm a different tribe and too modern for their taste.My wife is obedient but then i dont have any felling for her.I have tried all my best to be attracted to her but the felling is just not there.Everyday i close from work i go home with an empty feeling in my stomach wondering if this is what marriage is all about.My marriage is just too dull and worse of it all my wife is steadily getting fatter and fatter by the day.Of recent my ex called on me to know how marriage life is with me and all the fond feelings i had for her flooded back to me.Right now i am thinking of running away from my wife and kid because my marriage is killing me with boredom.I wish i hadnt gotten into this marriage.I wish i never listened to my parents and got married to my ex.This is my price for being the obedient son i guess.

Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 5:48pm On Oct 25, 2011
cantell:

Sharrap dia! You dey craze?
thunder fire dat ur mouth undecided
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by slimyem: 5:51pm On Oct 25, 2011
this isnt funny right??
dont even try to run away.you are stuck.just STUCK all because you chose not to listen to your own heart in a matter  as DELICATE as marriage.
move to family section lyk someone suggested.you'd get better advice there.
Sorry about your plight though.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by cantell(m): 5:53pm On Oct 25, 2011
lefulefu:

thunder fire dat your mouth undecided
Same to you, mumu.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by Nobody: 6:08pm On Oct 25, 2011
cantell:

Same to you, mumu.
Oshodi agbero lipsrsealed
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by ronkebp(f): 6:20pm On Oct 25, 2011
Mr Man!!!! am sorry for you that you live with someone that you do not have feelings for, when you knew that you don't love her from the beginning, why did you impregnate her immediately you married her? you should have let things be for the next  one and half years, so that you know what you are getting yourself into, especially since it was your parents that pushed you into marrying her (did not know that things like that still happen even with our level of civility). Now you are thinking of running away from her and leaving her with your child to cater and fend for him/her just because you are selfish (sorry to slam that on you), but that is selfishness, If you cannot continue with her, ''leave her as you met her'', you have ridden her to tiredness, eaten from her pot of honey, now you are tired and afraid of going back home, because you have just recently concluded, finalized, that you do not Love your wife. (is that not some bull-crap).
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by cantell(m): 6:22pm On Oct 25, 2011
lefulefu:

Oshodi agbero lipsrsealed
Haha! Olodo!
Go play with yourself.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by cantell(m): 6:26pm On Oct 25, 2011
ronkebp:

Mr Man!!!! am sorry for you that you live with someone that you do not have feelings for, when you knew that you don't love her from the beginning, why did you impregnate her immediately you married her? you should have let things be for the next  one and half years, so that you know what you are getting yourself into, especially since it was your parents that pushed you into marrying her (did not know that things like that still happen even with our level of civility). Now you are thinking of running away from her and leaving her with your child to cater and fend for him/her just because you are selfish (sorry to slam that on you), but that is selfishness, If you cannot continue with her, ''leave her as you met her'', you have ridden her to tiredness, eaten from her pot of honey, now you are tired and afraid of going back home, because you have just recently concluded, finalized, that you do not Love your wife. (is that not some bull-crap).
Geez! Are you the wife's mother or something? Take it easy. Na small small.
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by 1759odin(m): 6:26pm On Oct 25, 2011
pele ti e. cheesy
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by ronkebp(f): 6:34pm On Oct 25, 2011
cantell:

Geez! Are you the wife's mother or something? Take it easy. Na small small.

I do not have to be the wife's mother to anticipate what she might be going through, living with a man that does not show her any feeling, is hard. Don't get me wrong, i understand the poster, but crying when the head is off, won't solve any problem but complicate issues.

3 Likes

Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by pendo89(f): 6:38pm On Oct 25, 2011
I really feel sorry and would like to comfort you with some words.
This is just a dead marriage because you never loved her at all.If there was love at the beginning I would have asked you to try ways of reviving it
Find out what went cold & make it warm.But this has been cold from day 1 so, mh is polygamy an option? undecided
cant believe I said that but for this your case its better than divorce since your wife still loves you and from the look of things you are fed up and on the way out.
Wow this is tough. What to do?
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by nuela100(f): 6:42pm On Oct 25, 2011
i'm really sorry abt that.ope u learn ur lesson in ur next life cos marriage is for better for worse, not sth u can run away from
Re: I Am Very Unhappy In My Marriage by lindabon: 6:44pm On Oct 25, 2011
kpolli:

Eeya. . .  I hope parents stop making this mistake. . .  

I don't blame the parents, i blame the little child, who didn't know when it was high time for him to stop suckling on his mothers b.r.e.a.s.t !
How will he agree to his parents choosing a life partner for him?!


OP, how about divorce? Instead of running away like a sissy that you've always been. why not do the legal and right thing and get a proper divorce? That way, you can still see your son, and be a father figure while seeing to it that you pay for his "child support".

You've run away from your real lover, now you want to run away from you wife and and innocent child?
You keep running running running. Just man up for once and do things like a mature man. Grow some balls and do the right thing!

3 Likes

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