Hello virtuoswoman, I just want you to know that everything would be fine in the end. And if it’s not fine, it’s not the end yet.

I know most people would say pray about it and yes you should but then why not go physical too.
It’s obvious your husband has a drinking problem that can’t be solved by just scolding him. Take him to a rehabilitation center. There are drugs and injections they give to people who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs.

This injections reduces the urge to take alcohol and when it wears off your husband might go back to drinking but be consistent, with time it’ll be better just see a doctor.

Plus try to be nice, there should be a reasonable reward for anytime he fights the urge to drink.

Zither:


you deliberately overlooked his primary concern for her which is for her to be financially independent of the man SO she can cater for herself and her children should something happen to the husband (not anyone's wish or intention). It is already a rainy day in her life and she is little prepared for it due to her financial constraints...but it is not too late to save...rain may get worse. This has nothing to do with gender role or duties in marital institutions.

Yawn

This your explanation is not part of what he wrote, he only said she should be financially independent of her husband so that he will not bluff her talk.
You or your friend that you wrote this post to defend should quote the place where she said she is depending or him or that his bluff is because of her dependence.

lilmax:
Start cheating, coming home late, stop cooking


Just lose yourself and see your husband start focusing again

Your husband lacks self control because you tolerate it


My opinion

This one is not mentally balanced. I mean, e don dey kolo

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

This is a very intelligent comment.

MhisTahrah:
I have never seen any of your posts actually make sense.

He has no sense, how then can his post make sense?

Dayoebe:


Honestly, it works.
He will get tired of it quickly.

No, she is reinforcing what she wants to change.

Remember her husband can somehow control himself at home.

Pancakeey:
Hello virtuoswoman, I just want you to know that everything would be fine in the end. And if it’s not fine, it’s not the end yet.

I know most people would say pray about it and yes you should but then why not go physical too.
It’s obvious your husband has a drinking problem that can’t be solved by just scolding him. Take him to a rehabilitation center. There are drugs and injections they give to people who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs.

This injections reduces the urge to take alcohol and when it wears off your husband might go back to drinking but be consistent, with time it’ll be better just see a doctor.

Plus try to be nice, there should be a reasonable reward for anytime he fights the urge to drink.

thanks is there such rehab center in Lagos if any pls do mention

virtuouswoman77:
thanks is there such rehab center in Lagos if any pls do mention

it’s called A & D alcohol and drug rehabilitation center. Try calling them

Yep let’s find a way to blame her for his alcoholism

UDUJ:
Did he just start drinking alcohol or this has been happening for a longtime now? Majority of times when a man is depressed he turns to alcohol.

Do you know the source of his depression? Is it lack of finance, being out of a job or are you also contributing through constant nagging and belittling the man? Give us honest answers if you need our help.

virtuouswoman77:
if he buys drink fr himself he goes fr his gauge 3 bottles but when he goes to an event where there is excess drink, my God he will be feeling like getting all the drinks into his mouth that's where the lack of self control comes in

Alcohol dependence is a disease much like hypertension. You can’t discuss it away by heart to heart conversations and changing your attitude. Prayers won’t cure it. Family meeting won’t cure it.
It’s in the brain.

He needs professional therapy and a detox program managed in a competent facility.
When he comes out clean, no guarantees he won’t go back to it but that’s when all that heart to heart interventions etc might be helpful. To remind him why he doesn’t want to go back to it.

While he’s still in his addicted state, the brain wants what it wants and it can’t be talked away.

Chai... Madam, the Lord is your strength.

All I can say is, pray.

cococandy:
Yep let’s find a way to blame her for his alcoholism

I knew my dear Cococandy will only pick that piece out of the various suggestions I gave. I had to explore all possible causes. Have a lovely week ahead

UDUJ:


I knew my dear Cococandy will only pick that piece out of the various suggestions I gave. I had to explore all possible causes. Have a lovely week ahead

why not?

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

Excellent but sadly irrelevant to her question and therefore useless to her.

Pls prefer help on how to solve this issue!

bukatyne:


Perhaps the men around you.

I like your person.

I honestly like your person.

I just followed you.

•••

Hmmm

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

/
Post his pictures and phone number so that we can call and tell him to stop drinking and messing the bed up with urine.

I hope this solves your problem.

Was he drinking before you married him? If yes, it is your cross. Carry it.
If No. Find out how you drove him to alcoholism. You may not be virtuous after all.
/

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

Na for better for worst
Or divorce him lobataan

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

600years blessing for you

You can't get any good advise here. Only prayer can help you

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

Did you not see this before u married him? Oh, u thought u could change him?

MhisTahrah:
I have never seen any of your posts actually make sense.

Because you know nothing

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

Remove the bolded and no woman will wan to go into any relationship

Teach him a life lesson in parable when he is drunk also include sleeping dose in his meal and take him to a mortuary when he wakes up in there guess that will reset his brain ..but make a proper plan for this with cash and also talking down the attendant at the mortuary as per your plans ...please ...

IamD18:

I like your person.

I honestly like your person.

I just followed you.

Thank you.

lilmax:
Start cheating, coming home late, stop cooking


Just lose yourself and see your husband start focusing again

Your husband lacks self control because you tolerate it


My opinion

Very bad advice, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind!

Alcohol, smoking, gambling and clubbing are the bad male habits I was lucky to escape from; but u see the other one they do in the oza room, na only Jah go save me

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

As if you are perfect yourself.

Nonsense.

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

You must get him to a rehab , alcohol addiction is like other addiction and must be treated at a real rehab


Drinking alcohol isn't the problem here, but getting so drunk and bed wetting then he needs clinical assistance to quickly stop his addiction


Famous people have gone for Alcohol rehab and treatment including Governor Sanwo Olu, and it worked


.

lilmax:
Start cheating, coming home late, stop cooking


Just lose yourself and see your husband start focusing again

Your husband lacks self control because you tolerate it


My opinion

Start cheating? Advice from the pit of hell

lilmax:
Start cheating, coming home late, stop cooking


Just lose yourself and see your husband start focusing again

Your husband lacks self control because you tolerate it


My opinion

Obviously, you are a small piking and if you an adult you lack understanding of marriage