Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

let me rack my brain for a positive answer

You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves

Bross,.if I vex for you this morning you no go like am,.hunger dey tear people, one onion now is 200 naira, ASU is on strike, Army dey deny say them no kill people for leki gate,bag of rice is 40,000 and Christmas is around the corner only for you to carry burial matter come dey worry us this morning....

Come you no base for this country?...

Seun should create a section for married people and their wahala. Una wahala don too much for this forum!

As you lay your bed, so shall you lay on it. You have over pampered your wife and your in-laws have no regard for you. Is it that you don't communicate everyday? Have you done a very bad thing recently that makes your wife and your family to punish you this way? No matter what has happened in the past, you must put your foot down henceforth. First of all, ask your wife for her reasons and then make sure you ask her immediate family why you were not informed and if they think it is right for your wife to travel without your consent. You have been too soft and you have gotten what you deserve.

something similar happened to me, not as serious as this though, I simply asked her how she would feel if I did the same and she apologized immediately which weakened every bone in my body.

but then, if something like this happened to me, I might go crazy, let her know the nitty gritty of her mess up and she will never know my whereabouts any time am going out +she might not use my car for a awhile again till she's ready to use her head on such matters

if something happened on her way to the burial and you were informed , I can only imagine the confusion on your face + the look on people's faces when they hear you knew nothing about the travel. it's bad enough that she went to a burial with your ride without your knowledge despite your constant check up on her, it's also mad that you as an inlaw doesn't know what's going on with your in-laws.

what would she say when people ask her your whereabouts

Question is: hope this didn't occur prior before the marriage, because if she always went out or did something without intimating you and you on the other hand waved it, you are also to blame. stop a behaviour you don't like at the early stage so it doesn't go too far. it's okay to be angry about this, but no raise your hand.

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Cc:
Mynd 44
Obinoscopy
Lalasticlala.
and other mods.

. Nothing is new under the sun. Don't let anger overwhelm you. In my case, while she was still away I called all the people that usually come to beg me whenever she wants to be the one to decide on a matter. They will call her and reprimand her seriously. Sometimes you have to let them have their way so that they will see the result of their folly with their own eyes

You and your wife are not living peacefully. This is just an evidence. You cannot sort this matter here.

Call your in-laws and sort it out. Have you been a caring father and husband?

What type of woman did you marry? I am saying this because the attitude of a wife determines how peaceful the house is?

If she is not at fault, have you done things that have made her doubt
your integrity?

following

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Cc:
Mynd 44
Obinoscopy
Lalasticlala
and other mods.

What is going on between you two that your wife would have the guts to travel for a burial with the kids without your knowledge?

How do you both run your marriage?

ahnie:
following

E reach to follow my sister.

For the sake of safety and you knowing their whereabouts, she should've informed you before embarking on the journey. In any case, communicate with her to understand her reasons, and most importantly, forgive her.

It took her weeks to make the plans and not once did she mention it. Are you sure you ppl were really talking?

God forbid anything happened ..

Modified;

let me apologize on her behalf. Her actions were foolish .Its not enough to loose trust of her. I'm not making excuses for her even though I sense it's been long she met her folks and it was a kind of reunion for her but not informing you wasn't ideal. Infcat things could turn worse and you'd never believe your family went far let alone village.
I know it made you look stupid but forgive her. It won't happen again.

Gbahara Biko.

Ok
This matter dey make me laugh why?
Have experienced something similar..
You see, some women deserve some of the bad treatments they get but still, I will never support violence on women..
Is this not see finish? Something you would have planned for weeks and yet, your husband is not aware!!!
Just see family gangup in action...
Women will nurture the beast in a man till maturity and when that same beast becomes active and dangerous, they will be the first to cry foul...

who your wife epp. God airpus

Too bad. No be matter wey u na no fit settle Sha baba. Just use patience and understanding take settle am and try to man up as the head of the house to avoid this kind of shit repeating itself. All the very best!

Ok

Davash222:
Seun should create a section for married people and their wahala. Una wahala don too much for this forum!

.

I think it's too early for you to conclude that your wife conspired with her family to take your kids for a burial otherwise her brother would not have told you they were in the village.

You need to first wait for her to get back so you can discuss things with her

She went to Bleep

B

Let me wait for the elders to comment

This story never finish ooo

She didn't go just for burial

boldx:
You and your wife are not living peacefully. This is just an evidence. You cannot sort this matter here.

Call your in-laws and sort it out. Have you been a caring father and husband?

What type of woman did you marry? I am saying this because the attitude of a wife determines how peaceful the house is?

If she is not at fault, have you done things that have made her doubt
your integrity?

This is how low our mentality can be. If there is anything dispute between a man and a woman , we are quick to put the blame on the man no matter who went wrong. Your post right now just shows how quick we are in judging a man to woman dispute even in marriage.
THIS MAN CALLED HIS WIFE, PAID HIS CHILDREN SCHOOL FEES , STILL PROVIDED MONEY FOR FEEDING THAT SAME DAY, YET HE IS THE BAD HUSBAND. IT IS A WOMAN'S WORLD

Igno lady abi