tempex88:
Your wife must be from a nice family. Dem get burial and dem no give you billing

Hahahahahahahaha

For this matter eh, the story no complete. Somle men are difficult that you have to write a term paper size of permission to travel. Especially if u are going to your villa
Some think marrying someone means buying them, and making them forget their homes.
Why were you not invited for the burial?
Why didn't u hear some one close to her died?
Why will she not tell you before travelling?
Would have permitted her to travel?

There is communication gap in ur marriage and it didn't start with this event.
I am not justifying her actions

May be She went to initiate the children in their village ocult.

My guy! All reasonably protocol be discarded.

Use this opportunity to disrespect your in-laws.
And be free of any financial spending on them hence forth.

Put your wife in a position to earn your trust again.

Person wey do wetin eys no see bifor go see wetin eys never see.

Bullshit everyone. And let them know you are a force to reckon with?

when I'm not married,

my opinion or counsel may not be regarded.

marriage is for patience and perseverance.

just like buying wallnut, only to discover that they re all rotten

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

That ya motor way them carry travel no get tracker? Shut the engine for village there and pretend to her you cant wait to be with them on that her sunday na

My brother
Marital issues require caution, patience and wisdom. This issue is definitely not what you can settle here because it didn't start today. She must have been taking some actions unilaterally that you either choose to allow her or feel less concerned probably because it doesn't affect you in any way.

My own advise here is ...
You need to sit her down and demand an explanation on why she took such a decision without your consent. (Inform your in-laws but Never blame them for conspiracy, how she presents you to them determine the level of respect they have for you)

Let her know you would not take such lightly if it happens again. If it means withdrawing your car from her for the time being as a punishment for that action, pls do.

Ensure you resolve any/every existing issues all at once.
After the blame, reassure her of your love but let her know she must observe boundaries henceforth.

Let her know if she repeats it, she wouldn't be able to predict what your actions would be.

Lastly, forgive her and move on.

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Bro, Take Things Easy.

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

As crucial as this case is you just spoilt it by mentioning your car that was taken. Without taking your car what your wife and her family did was bad enough

GreatResearcher:
Sign of disrespect if a woman or man does something without the consent of his or her partner

I agreed with you, but it still happens. U are suppose to do what you can to resolve issue not adding fire the more.
We don't know d mind of d op now, but I can assure you that our comments will have an impact on him either positive or negative

Although, I am busy drinking, I will still offer you a piece of advice.

Pack her loads waiting for her.
Buy a bunch of roses and keep.
When she comes back and starts begging you. Welcome her home because she is your wife.
Tell her to sit in the sitting room because sitting rooms are ment for sitting.
Tell her you have a gift for her and go and bring the bunch of roses.
When you reach the sitting room tell the children to go inside their room. Now knee down with a leg on the floor the way you proposed to her when you first met her and ask her this question,
"What else can I do for you this woman for you to stop this madness. I think a bunch of roses would do the trick. I love you"
Now given it to her . After she has collected it, collect it back and stand up. Sniff the roses romantically.
Then, use the bunch of roses to beat the madness out of her heart.
Beat her like you will kill her but make sure you don't kill her. If you do, who will take care of your kids.
Then, go inside the bedroom and bring her loads out.
Send her to her father's house for two weeks of home training. Get her a Taxi if she has no car of her own.

If your in-laws call you, please pick the phone. Inlaws must be respected always.

Tell them you have not divorced her but rather you sent her to them to get home training.

After two weeks of sojourning at her Father's house accept her back. Because once a wife is always a wife.

Now, let me continue my drink in peace.

Well, my brother if it is truth you are saying!! I don't know I u started your relationship before it warrant marriage, my question is did she really see u has a weak man? do you really ignore some common things in your house in which u suppose to react?? Sometimes u need to behave like a mad man, sometimes look for one of her fault and cause wahala, I don't said you should beat her oooh, her mouth is her power ,she may defeat u with her mouth, said some hurt statement and leave the house immediately or else u may Temp to beat her, good an find you are distance man, ignore her call, i said don't call her. Limit your call to her!! Be a man, u can't go and suffer to make money an yet you don't av little respect.you must stop nonsense or nonsense continue.

LadySarah:
It took her weeks to make the plans and not once did she mention it. Are you sure you ppl were really talking?

God forbid anything happened ..

Modified;

let me apologize on her behalf. Her actions were foolish .Its not enough to loose trust of her. I'm not making excuses for her even though I sense it's been long she met her folks and it was a kind of reunion for her but not informing you wasn't ideal. Infcat things could turn worse and you'd never believe your family went far let alone village.
I know it made you look stupid but forgive her. It won't happen again.

Gbahara Biko.

Pls stop. Forgiveness is not the problem. The young man is not safe with this kind of attitude. The precipitating factor for her actions must be unravelled, to deter future eventualities. That's my own.

Your wife is certainly sleeping with someone either in that village or somewhere else.

Auxtin85:
Does it mean that women now want to be men I marriage or fully in[b] control of themselves in marriage?[/b] E dey my body too

dont deceive yourself you dont control an adult,why do you think domestic violence raises its ugly head in most home.you need to dialogue and pray,any other thing aside this you will scatter your home this is 2020 and not 1940 women have evolve.bitter truth

Dear OP,

Firstly , thanks for your patience. I think you two are not really communicating. There are different type of communications, you may just be asking about the kids or about their welfare which is more than that. You need to have a deeper communication with your wife. For the fact that she planned all these even to the extent of someone died in her family and you didn’t know about to it, to the point of carrying your kids to the village! Please once you resolved this, work on your communication. Marriage is not just about love, sex, money . Deep communication is key. Abi you be soldiers in your marriage wey your wife dey fear you?

Mr seer, continue to see

DennisEche:
Oboy not a good sign at all, knowing how women brain works. I have seen and been with women that got bleepedd yet received phone call from their lovers pretending as if nothing happened. Even going as far as telling the caller" I love you baby" and person is untop riding her.

Davash222:
Seun should create a section for married people and their wahala. Una wahala don too much for this forum!

I wouldn't judge her or you based on the information you provided thus far but I want to understand how you relate with your in-laws. Hostile or cordial?

Solving financial problems is good but freedom and trust make great relationships

Story that touch the heart
Make ur finding to ascertain her reasons

Seems u are a difficult man to deal with,else y would your wife hide the fact she wants to attend a burial from you,the way you even said she left with your car n d kids,I don't support her not telling you but this should make you evaluate the kind of relationship you have with your wife instead of getting angry if you are a smart person,it shows a deep seated foundational issues,how many more things does she hide from you,so take my advice sit down with your wife n have a heart to heart talk,not ur usual shouting n bullying,allow her speak her mind freely and then u guys can fix this

Bro.. Don't react in anger!
Call your wife to order...sit her down and talk to her. You both should have a proper understanding of each other. Let her know that her actions are not cool with you but settle it amicably with her.

As for her family, it's dependent on how you communicate with them. Try and communicate well with them and you will see changes.

Finally, it seems your work keeps you away from your family often. Try and do something about it.

Pray always and be close to God! Remain Blessed.

Married men nowadays are passing through a lot, people will say used wisdom and patience until you enter grave.
Nobody gives husband problem like the Wife.

WILLuKPquiet:
Although, I am busy drinking, I will still offer you a piece of advice.

Pack her loads waiting for her.
Buy a bunch of roses and keep.
When she comes back and starts begging you. Welcome her home because she is your wife.
Tell her to sit in the sitting room because sitting rooms are ment for sitting.
Tell her you have a gift for her and go and bring the bunch of roses.
When you reach the sitting room tell the children to go inside their room. Now knee down with a leg on the floor the way you proposed to her when you first met her and ask her this question,
"What else can I do for you this woman for you to stop this madness. I think a bunch of roses would do the trick. I love you"
Now given it to her . After she has collected it, collect it back and stand up. Sniff the roses romantically.
Then, use the bunch of roses to beat the madness out of her heart.
Beat her like you will kill her but make sure you don't kill her. If you do, who will take care of your kids.
Then, go inside the bedroom and bring her loads out.
Send her to her father's house for two weeks of home training. Get her a Taxi if she has no car of her own.

If your in-laws call you, please pick the phone. Inlaws must be respected always.

Tell them you have not divorced her but rather you sent her to them to get home training.

After two weeks of sojourning at her Father's house accept her back. Because once a wife is always a wife.

Now, let me continue my drink in peace.

seems you are a man above 50yrs,send her back to her fathers house how many ladies of today marry from their parents houses,come to ABJ ladies as young as 24yrs doing exceptionally well and living alone.you will only loose your marriage, cause she can do well with the kids without you.some married women today are doing way better than their husband,a lot of women are now empowered financially you cant even compare and they will never disclose that to you.so who wan pack who out.the narative has really change my brother,pocket your 1940 marriage setting and try to adjust to the new melinial setting. now welcome on board

jidamsel43:
You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves

I am over 10 years in that institution n there r many people that r above that n also below it but I tell u the above advice is one of the best for you. This behaviour is more peculiar to our Christian women than the Muslim counterpart. I don't know what is given our women that courage, it is absolutely wrong.

If she told you about it,you wouldn't have let her go that's why,please sorry for that.

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

This is a massive disrespect
If u take it for granted then she will hit u with a bigger one.

gunners160:
This is how low our mentality can be. If there is anything dispute between a man and a woman , we are quick to put the blame on the man no matter who went wrong. Your post right now just shows how quick we are in judging a man to woman dispute even in marriage.
THIS MAN CALLED HIS WIFE, PAID HIS CHILDREN SCHOOL FEES , STILL PROVIDED MONEY FOR FEEDING THAT SAME DAY, YET HE IS THE BAD HUSBAND. IT IS A WOMAN'S WORLD

Your mentality is lower than I expected. Did you read what I posted? Did you see the questions I asked? From my point of view, paying my children's school fees does not make me totally responsible.

Ever8090:
Bross,.if I vex for you this morning you no go like am,.hunger dey tear people, one onion now is 200 naira, ASU is on strike, Army dey deny say them no kill people for leki gate,bag of rice is 40,000 and Christmas is around the corner only for you to carry burial matter come dey worry us this morning....

Come you no base for this country?...

London star man no mind him

shedomains:

seems you are a man above 50yrs,send her back to her fathers house how many ladies of today marry from their parents houses,come to ABJ ladies as young as 24yrs doing exceptionally well and living alone.you will only loose your marriage, cause she can do well with the kids without you.some married women today are doing way better than their husband,a lot of women are now empowered financially you cant even compare and they will never disclose that to you.so who wan pack who out.the narative has really change my brother,pocket your 1940 marriage setting and try to adjust to the new melinial setting. now welcome on board

Its disappointing if you took me serious. You couldnt catch the message.
I was only having fun. That long post of mine was all rubbish. It was all a joke.

That was why I started it drinking and ended it with drinking.

Have a nice week.

Davash222:
Seun should create a section for married people and their wahala. Una wahala don too much for this forum!

He he... I dey tell you bros... And their wahala no dey finish

Oga, if this is the first time she's doing that, gently iron it out with her. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. The problem is maybe you scare your wife too much, and she's afraid to tell you cos you may not agree with her to use the family car. You have to change if you are a type that always carries fire on your head at home like Sango. Make your wife and children your friends so that they can tell you anything. Your presence should command respect, not fear.
Calm down and correct her in love. Let her know she can always trust your judgements.