evuna:
Chinwetel Ejiofor's sister, Okonjo Iweala's children even Dora Akunyili daughter that married a white man all did their traditional marriage in the village.

There is more to these things. Someone even suggested using juice for traditional marriage. God forbid that I allow my future daughter not marry in the village. We bastardize our culture so much.


Look at Japanese, koreans and Chinese. they still love their culture and are more highly advanced than we that don't like ours.

Bro, at the end of the day, you will decide. Bu think about it very well. In 20years time, how will peo see my nephew. Can he be proud to attend some cultural functions. People will sit in the comfort of their bedroom and tell you that it doesn't matter.


I had such views about village people. I started getting closer to igbo tradition when I was in UNN. Nobody will kill her if she does the traditional marriage later than the so called white wedding. it's better to defer it and do the right thing than doing a shoddy show.


When you grow older, you will understand. Also, get closer to your village. join association. All those people saying that village people are bad are not correct. Thank God I have been liberated.

I even held a position in my community association for 3years.

Okpara me ibu Okpara. Read about the igbo concept of Ani/ala. all lands are not the same. Your ancestral home will always be your ancestral home. ala bu otu should never been encouraged.


Lastly, go and seek the counsel of an elderly man.
Nairaland is filled with people who want to trample on igbo culture. don't seek traditional advice online. Go to the elders. May not necessarily be your village people. Go and meet elderly igbo men and seek their views.

Dalu.

Realhommie:
And i ask, what will happen if it doesn't hold there?

The ones happening in the city are they Igbos of Ethiopian extraction? Who made it mandatory?

It was only a way it was being done. It gives a sense of pride and belonging. And then maintaining/strengthening family ties and bonds. Nothing says if it doesn't hold there then one thing spiritual or otherwise will happen. Everything in life is subject to change if the factors are right. So leave talk bro.

bencarson007:
Let's stop all this bickering... Let them choose a venue and you guys support... Case closed. If she was abroad nko.... Abeg let her have her way joor

joyandfaith:

Either of the marriage is accepted by the law.it is not necessary to do both tradition and court marriage.

Anaerobi:


I love your point. but
what is marriage without bonds?
what is marriage without family ties?
what is marriage without feeling this pride and belonging?
all this gives birth to more happiness and love

filleSouriante:
If the elders in your family and your kinsmen in the village are fine with it, then let it be

Lifeisgoody:
Ask yourself a question, if its not done in the village, what will happen. You can now decide.
The truth is, I know the Igbos holds the trad marriage in high esteem, especially in the village.
My opinion is, It should be done in the village. Who knows tomorrow?

Mindlog:
Life is evolving.

We had one in Lagos last month as most relatives of both sides of the families are based in Lagos, so logistically it was better off doing it in Lagos while some things were sent down to the relatives in the village. The groom and his family had gone to the bride's family home in the village last December, so it is not as if those in the village don't know who their daughter got married to

Athemisia:

Please leave him... He doesn't even know tradition coming here to rant nonesense.... Aslong as the head of the family (Father or Brother) reside in the City, she is free to go...

1x2x3:



Where are you from? Do you hold your traditional marriages anywhere?

Realhommie:
True.. But if same can be replicated where they're based in the city with close family and friends and then sending what is due those in the village across what then is the ish?

Grandstanding won't do the bride and the intended groom any good. They should reach a middle ground.

Titugirl:

So if they aren't fine by it the wedding would not hold abi

Liposure:
i've always thought court wedding supercedes all other types of weddings since its backed by law

Mynd44:
It is her wedding and her choice. I know you might feel a bit skirmish about it but it is still her choice.

And how is this an "Igbo tradition" to marry at home? I think the tradition is the marriage itself, the travelling home for it is the culture (I stand corrected). Anywhere you live and you are welcome is where your home lies.

If your worry is about who attends, invite those people over.

But still talk to her and try to find a middle point, make compromise which might include, an introduction in the village before the wedding while it might not be the actual event but she and her husband visits to meet everyone. This can also be agreed on after the wedding.

I have Igbo friends whose traditional marriage was done in Lagos because they felt the logistics was off. Some felt their friends, bosses, mentors, colleagues who they feel are more impactful in their lives than some of the family members they have not seen or even met might not be able to share in their special day especially if the "elders" who will attend even in the village are few and can be convince to travel to the city if they insist.

Anyways, let us know how this goes and remember, it is her wedding and while you want what is best overall, she is an adult and able to make her decisions. Make compromise and listen too her arguments well.

Seniorwriter:
Marriage ceremony location has never been specific to specified! Couple(s) are free to make their decision !

Proactivity Leads To Productivity!!!
© Seniorwriter

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

Anaerobi:

close friends not relatives... close relative are in the home town... village... no matter the number of close relative in city, it won't be comapred to the one in home town....
they tend to think of closer to friends in city forgetting d root.

vickydankal:
People made Culture and traditions and not the other way round . Wherever the people are there , you can observe culture and traditions.

Where you called ancestry home, is a place your forefathers migrated to and settled and not necessarily owned by the people.

You can have the traditional rites in Dubai or USA so far there are elders that understand the culture to observe it then no problem.

Anaerobi:

close friends not relatives... close relative are in the home town... village... no matter the number of close relative in city, it won't be comapred to the one in home town....
they tend to think of closer to friends in city forgetting d root.

LawLab247:
I don't know your culture but where I come from, traditional marriage is held at your ancestral home. That's one of the things that makes it traditional in the first instance. We Africans must not bastardize the ways of our forefathers, lest we lose our identities. My opinion tho.

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

mrblessed:
It is not normal. Such practice is anti-Igbo culture and shouldn't be condoned. Traditional marriage should rightly take place at the village of the girl, because it has huge relevance to the family, kindred, village, and community/town. Do you mean that the Ancestors won't be informed that their daughter is tying the knot? Their participation in the process is very necessary.

Most people today seem confused because religion/Christianity has displaced culture from its prime position in marital issues. Part of the problem is that we are trying to become Europeans, a wild goose chase we can never achieve. If marriage is cultural, and yes, it is, why celebrate traditional marriage in a place that has zero cultural relevance and significance?

Depressed101:
my dear not in this economy, all hands are not equal. What if they live in Lagos, or a farther location from the east. You read the op say they know more people in the city. Coupled with fact that generally only few individuals will be traveling to the east for important issues because of the covid 19....

Depressed101:
my dear not in this economy, all hands are not equal. What if they live in Lagos, or a farther location from the east. You read the op say they know more people in the city. Coupled with fact that generally only few individuals will be traveling to the east for important issues because of the covid 19....

frozen70:


It's obvious the man is not an Igbo man, alright no problem with that

It's likely she is the one asking the man for marriage and you know all the man needs is his presence to be there

Don't be surprise that she may be the one to give the man the bride price to pay, its possible when one is desperate for marriage

1x2x3:


The marriage can wait or they cut out the white wedding which is totally unnecessary expenses to me. Did you say live in Lagos? Where is lagos again? In-laws are highly obligated to go know the family of their bride and where she came from irrespective of the cost or you feel marriage is just about a man and woman saying yes to each other? Let the very few travel to the village for the traditional then the white wedding can be in Lagos. Don't be surprised if the girl is deciding just because her naive friends can't make it to her village. Also I don't think she has any respect for her brother as the head of the family cos I don't think she will ever suggest such if the father was alive and the sad thing is that she has also taught her husband to be family that her family isn't so relevant neither do they have much say.

It will backfire when the time comes.

Realhommie:
If you read me well you'd know i meant those in the village coming over. Besides, it doesn't have to be everybody, abi? Every family relative doesn't have to be present, they would have a few delegates over and it's settled.

It's better that way than having to move everybody and everything else down to the village.

kraftysprouts:


I did mine in the city in August