₦airaland Forum

Fahdiga:
Only fools does that with the intention of marrying the girl. if you want to help someone do it without expecting anything in return

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

Fahdiga:
Only fools does that with the intention of marrying the girl. if you want to help someone do it without expecting anything in return

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

tobechi74:
Exactly. It becomes a transaction. It is no longer generosity, or kindness or true love. There is nothing wrong in either but we should not confuse the two.
Prostitutes openly discuss their terms before hand.
But in relationship of this days, we make so many assumption under the disguise of love.
Relationship of today is ls domestic partnership. You fulfil my want , I fulfill yours.

The girl has gotten what she wanted. She leaves and society calls her an ingrate .

God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.

Relationshipe of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Relationship is disguiseded prostitution. Our goal is the benefit and not the individual yet we deny it.The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

tobechi74:
Help anyone achieve her dream . But she does not owe you anything in return. I have heard cases of men insisting their wife paid them half of her salary because she sponsored her education. That mindset should be abolished. She does not owe a guy marriage because he sponsored her education.
If she no longer finds him suitable for marital commitment, she can bail out at any time. She must not marry you the guy as payment for debt owed.

If you want to invest in her, draft a contract first and state the terms and conditions. Then enforce them in a law court. Then, this is a contract and not done out of love.

Kobicove:
I can't believe people still do that nonsense in this day and age

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.