₦airaland Forum

yaki84:
No what he says is if u want to help, help but dont do it cos u have intentions later.
Just like ned nwoko said he loves children, making him to impregnate all beautiful girls he sees so they can give him kids were as he can as well adopt those who dont have that fatherly figure in their lives and give them a better life.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

odinson1:
False Equivocal Fallacy

tobechi74:
Help anyone achieve her dream . But she does not owe you anything in return. I have heard cases of men insisting their wife paid them half of her salary because she sponsored her education. That mindset should be abolished. She does not owe a guy marriage because he sponsored her education.
If she no longer finds him suitable for marital commitment, she can bail out at any time. She must not marry you the guy as payment for debt owed.

If you want to invest in her, draft a contract first and state the terms and conditions. Then enforce them in a law court. Then, this is a contract and not done out of love.

Control5:
My brother you lie!!.. f**k this rubbish you’re saying and be logical for once atleast.

Pierocash:
no, that is not what he meant. His writeup suggests that sending your fiancee to school is a business transaction. Besides, most men who sent women to school did so in the midst of datingv,and agreements of concluding the marriage right after graduation. No man will suddenly wake up to start sending a woman to school if they weren't in any serious relationship. Some of those women turn around to bite the finger that helped them, and that is what the op should condemn. Not condemning the victims of fraud. His writeup is making it look like having good intention to educate your future partner or fiancee is a nonsensical gesture.

I love you,and proposed,you accepted. And we started the whole relationship,and you told me you want to get education, because you are my fiancee,I said alright and sponsored you just because I believe it will be good to fulfill your dream as my wife to be. But you turned around to betray my love. And somebody is putting up a post making it look like what the woman did is OK,and that I did wrong, I should see what I did as nothing but just a business transaction.

We need to check the brain of the op.

yaki84:
U r not understanding what the write up is.
First they r guys that will ask u out, the girl accept then they marry. The guy sees u as a potential and decides to invest in u. That is his business.
There r other guys that will see a girl, ask her out and she refuses, but they still force themselves to like her and win her love either genuinely or by crook. They start investing in the girl with the sole aim that once she graduates they will marry her. This thing still happens.
It is common between a guy or man who is semi-literate with money and a girl from a poor background with nice features and potentials.

emmaodet:
Please please please, stop this Love Love Love of a thing, it s kinda annoying.
How come it is only when a man is about to get cheated or manipulated doing a woman's bid that the Love card is always played.
How come this Love of a thing is one directional? always from man to woman in gifts, money, sponsoring etc.
If a woman doesn't want a man to complain about what he has done for the woman, then a woman should not collect anything from the man Because to whom much is given to, Much is expected.
Nothing is free in life, even in freetown.
That is why we do say it that do go out with a man you won't date or bang, don't eat is free food all in the name of date or take the phone gift. By doing all these, you have committed your self.
I understand that free things like food, phones, money are very hard to resist and easy to spend.
If we are talking about love, then how come tons upon tons of nigerian single ladies in US, canada, UK are not coming home to pick and thereby empowering the average nigerian man to abroad? why is it always men?
Why is it that a large percentage of working class women in nigeria can't pick and date struggling guys, sponsor them to school too and put them on monthly allowance just the way the male counterpart will gladly do? Abi dem forbid dem? i guess the Scam called Love always stops at the foot mat of gullible Men.
How come the so called working class women are not raising capital to give to struggling guys to start-up their live so that they can marry? I guess Love is not blind afterall

Control5:
My brother you lie!!.. f**k this rubbish you’re saying and be logical for once atleast.

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

brosom:
I nearly tried that shit with my then so-called girl friend but God saved me.

It happened that she was seeking for admission, while I was working and making money. I did literally everything for her right from the scratch, with my contact then she gained admission in to one of the prestigious school with lots of money, (u know 9ja way na). because I was busy with work and didn't have time to ask her when her matriculation would be which she supposed to have told me, meanwhile I've already bought presents, including an expensive phone because she was using a Nokia touch phone then which she didn't know I've already planned the whole thing without her knowledge. I was just being a good Bf and wanted to surprise her on that day of matric, but she didn't told me, I got to know from my cousin who also got admission in the same school the day of their matric. The matric was a day after my cousin called, I thought to myself maybe she was busy or might have forgotten, but in another thought its not possible for a girl not to know of the day of her matric. To kill my doubt I called her to know how she was, perhaps she would tell me, but she never did rather she was angry that I didn't call her sometime ago. to cut the story short, I didn't call her again and neither did she. I almost cried but thanks to my supervisor then who gave me a fatherly advice and said that I should forget her she didn't love me..

Las las after 2 yrs she called me from nowhere and started crying and begging me to forgive her and accept her back.. I laughed so had, she kept calling and calling for months until she was tired but left me a message. in her words she said to me:- WHO THE HELL DO U THINK U ARE?
That was also the day I realized that what bible said about women was all true, thus u have to caution wisely when dealing with them.

FEAR WOMEN!!!

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

tobechi74:
BS

When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

Ade3131:
Best savage response for the boldwd; HELL BOY

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

emmaodet:
Please please please, stop this Love Love Love of a thing, it s kinda annoying.
How come it is only when a man is about to get cheated or manipulated doing a woman's bid that the Love card is always played.
How come this Love of a thing is one directional? always from man to woman in gifts, money, sponsoring etc.
If a woman doesn't want a man to complain about what he has done for the woman, then a woman should not collect anything from the man Because to whom much is given to, Much is expected.
Nothing is free in life, even in freetown.
That is why we do say it that do go out with a man you won't date or bang, don't eat is free food all in the name of date or take the phone gift. By doing all these, you have committed your self.
I understand that free things like food, phones, money are very hard to resist and easy to spend.
If we are talking about love, then how come tons upon tons of nigerian single ladies in US, canada, UK are not coming home to pick and thereby empowering the average nigerian man to abroad? why is it always men?
Why is it that a large percentage of working class women in nigeria can't pick and date struggling guys, sponsor them to school too and put them on monthly allowance just the way the male counterpart will gladly do? Abi dem forbid dem? i guess the Scam called Love always stops at the foot mat of gullible Men.
How come the so called working class women are not raising capital to give to struggling guys to start-up their live so that they can marry? I guess Love is not blind afterall

brosom:
I nearly tried that shit with my then so-called girl friend but God saved me.

It happened that she was seeking for admission, while I was working and making money. I did literally everything for her right from the scratch, with my contact then she gained admission in to one of the prestigious school with lots of money, (u know 9ja way na). because I was busy with work and didn't have time to ask her when her matriculation would be which she supposed to have told me, meanwhile I've already bought presents, including an expensive phone because she was using a Nokia touch phone then which she didn't know I've already planned the whole thing without her knowledge. I was just being a good Bf and wanted to surprise her on that day of matric, but she didn't told me, I got to know from my cousin who also got admission in the same school the day of their matric. The matric was a day after my cousin called, I thought to myself maybe she was busy or might have forgotten, but in another thought its not possible for a girl not to know of the day of her matric. To kill my doubt I called her to know how she was, perhaps she would tell me, but she never did rather she was angry that I didn't call her sometime ago. to cut the story short, I didn't call her again and neither did she. I almost cried but thanks to my supervisor then who gave me a fatherly advice and said that I should forget her she didn't love me..

Las las after 2 yrs she called me from nowhere and started crying and begging me to forgive her and accept her back.. I laughed so had, she kept calling and calling for months until she was tired but left me a message. in her words she said to me:- WHO THE HELL DO U THINK U ARE?
That was also the day I realized that what bible said about women was all true, thus u have to caution wisely when dealing with them.

FEAR WOMEN!!!

Nazgul:
It has been a very wrong move from the onset. I can choose to help you as a friend, cousin, extended family member...etc. But girlfriend...for me, no way.

Training a girl makes you feel you own her. You're giving her what her parents can't afford. So there's this authoritative nature in you that activates itself. You unknowingly become a dictator to her and would constantly keep reminding her how much you're spending daily to educate her ungrateful a55. Many girls wouldn't like such.
Also, most uneducated guys that do this are very very rude. You're always calling her to know where she is, some of these guys lack manners, some shout and order the girl to go home if she tell them she's outside her hostel by 7:pm.

I witnessed a case like that when I was still schooling. The girl was living in my lodge. This guy yells at her like he's her parent. Even when he visit it's more of order and quarrel than romance. They were always quarreling. He was always reporting her to her parents at any slightest provocation.

The girl just told me that once she's through with school she'll look for someone else, that she can't live with this kind of person. I just kept quiet cos if I was in her shoes, I'll do the same.

I usually don't usually advise guys to train girls these days cos it will most likely end in tears but if you must do it, see the girl as your younger sister. Never assume the position of a dictator or else she'll start opening her legs for broke romantic guys there in school and lavish your money and provisions on them. Be more romantic with her and less authoritative towards her. Make her love you for you and not because of what you're doing for her. And she might just stick to you.

emmaodet:
Please please please, stop this Love Love Love of a thing, it s kinda annoying.
How come it is only when a man is about to get cheated or manipulated doing a woman's bid that the Love card is always played.
How come this Love of a thing is one directional? always from man to woman in gifts, money, sponsoring etc.
If a woman doesn't want a man to complain about what he has done for the woman, then a woman should not collect anything from the man Because to whom much is given to, Much is expected.
Nothing is free in life, even in freetown.
That is why we do say it that do go out with a man you won't date or bang, don't eat is free food all in the name of date or take the phone gift. By doing all these, you have committed your self.
I understand that free things like food, phones, money are very hard to resist and easy to spend.
If we are talking about love, then how come tons upon tons of nigerian single ladies in US, canada, UK are not coming home to pick and thereby empowering the average nigerian man to abroad? why is it always men?
Why is it that a large percentage of working class women in nigeria can't pick and date struggling guys, sponsor them to school too and put them on monthly allowance just the way the male counterpart will gladly do? Abi dem forbid dem? i guess the Scam called Love always stops at the foot mat of gullible Men.
How come the so called working class women are not raising capital to give to struggling guys to start-up their live so that they can marry? I guess Love is not blind afterall

MedicH:
Aswear I wanted to get very sick in my stomach reading this nonsense.

brosom:
I nearly tried that shit with my then so-called girl friend but God saved me.

It happened that she was seeking for admission, while I was working and making money. I did literally everything for her right from the scratch, with my contact then she gained admission in to one of the prestigious school with lots of money, (u know 9ja way na). because I was busy with work and didn't have time to ask her when her matriculation would be which she supposed to have told me, meanwhile I've already bought presents, including an expensive phone because she was using a Nokia touch phone then which she didn't know I've already planned the whole thing without her knowledge. I was just being a good Bf and wanted to surprise her on that day of matric, but she didn't told me, I got to know from my cousin who also got admission in the same school the day of their matric. The matric was a day after my cousin called, I thought to myself maybe she was busy or might have forgotten, but in another thought its not possible for a girl not to know of the day of her matric. To kill my doubt I called her to know how she was, perhaps she would tell me, but she never did rather she was angry that I didn't call her sometime ago. to cut the story short, I didn't call her again and neither did she. I almost cried but thanks to my supervisor then who gave me a fatherly advice and said that I should forget her she didn't love me..

Las las after 2 yrs she called me from nowhere and started crying and begging me to forgive her and accept her back.. I laughed so had, she kept calling and calling for months until she was tired but left me a message. in her words she said to me:- WHO THE HELL DO U THINK U ARE?
That was also the day I realized that what bible said about women was all true, thus u have to caution wisely when dealing with them.

FEAR WOMEN!!!

Pierocash:
In other words what this implies is that you shouldnt help the one you love to attain her dreams by educating her?.

So it is now a crime to try to better her life,instead marry her as an illiterate and both of you should die as illiterates.

I think I agree with you at the bolded.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

Twelfthman:
Op is deluded.
Damn you actually took your time to compose this rubbish.
I believe most people in this situation always have an agreement to marry after the girl education.
Agreement is agreement and save me this your love and emotional shit drama.

brosom:
.
.
Las las after 2 yrs she called me from nowhere and started crying and begging me to forgive her and accept her back.. I laughed so had, she kept calling and calling for months until she was tired but left me a message. in her words she said to me:- WHO THE HELL DO U THINK U ARE?
That was also the day I realized that what bible said about women was all true, thus u have to caution wisely when dealing with them.

FEAR WOMEN!!!

emmaodet:
Please please please, stop this Love Love Love of a thing, it s kinda annoying.
How come it is only when a man is about to get cheated or manipulated doing a woman's bid that the Love card is always played.
How come this Love of a thing is one directional? always from man to woman in gifts, money, sponsoring etc.
If a woman doesn't want a man to complain about what he has done for the woman, then a woman should not collect anything from the man Because to whom much is given to, Much is expected.
Nothing is free in life, even in freetown.
That is why we do say it that do go out with a man you won't date or bang, don't eat is free food all in the name of date or take the phone gift. By doing all these, you have committed your self.
I understand that free things like food, phones, money are very hard to resist and easy to spend.
If we are talking about love, then how come tons upon tons of nigerian single ladies in US, canada, UK are not coming home to pick and thereby empowering the average nigerian man to abroad? why is it always men?
Why is it that a large percentage of working class women in nigeria can't pick and date struggling guys, sponsor them to school too and put them on monthly allowance just the way the male counterpart will gladly do? Abi dem forbid dem? i guess the Scam called Love always stops at the foot mat of gullible Men.
How come the so called working class women are not raising capital to give to struggling guys to start-up their live so that they can marry? I guess Love is not blind afterall