₦airaland Forum

Martinez39s:

my brother na so oo

Marry her first then help her.

Na foolish men dey do the other way round

Kokaine:
stop the propaganda against women already. You will have a daughter!

My daughter is not exceptional.

I repeat FEAR WOMEN!!

ojuu4u:
The one I knew about

A mechanic guy has been spending lavishly for his girl even before she entered NCE , so after admission he carried on, when time comes for birthday, she called the guy and he sent money to prepare for the birthday, on the day of birthday, mechanic with his two friends traveled to sch to felicitate with celebrant, when they got there, mechanic and his friends were in the crowd as onlookers, while a student sat down beside celebrant as boyfriend, kissing and gisting as co- celebrant

Mechanic almost commit suicide, the embarrassment was talk of town that year.

chai, e dey pain die I swear bro.

Pierocash:
I disagree with you. No man will just start sponsoring a woman in school if there is no serious relationship between them. Men who sent their women to school do that as an act of love and to help her fulfill her dreams simply because there is a marital plan in between them. But this criminally minded women turn around and follow someone else and betray their love. If the man didn't send her to school,they could have married and raise families together. But because he has bettered her life,she suddenly felt the guy isn't educated enough for her, so she moved on with someone else.

Now the op made it look like the man did just nothing,he should just see it as help. That is insane.

Even if u have serious relationship with someone,first educate ur self then u can think of sponsoring another so when she xomes back and start giving u phantom excuses, u will laugh it off.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

Poor analysis.

KevinDein:
The female hamster boggles the mind. Rationalising the most irrational.

That's females for you. Their dating/relationship game doesn't involve morality, rationality, love and remorse, instead it involves extreme selfishness, remorseless and brutal manipulations, entitlement, their huge and childish egos, and perpetual justifications (rational or irrational, as long as it is what she wants to believe).

yaki84:
Even if u have serious relationship with someone,first educate ur self then u can think of sponsoring another so when she xomes back and start giving u phantom excuses, u will laugh it off.

bro women who betray trust and love will betray you no matter who you are. Sometimes the people they mess around with are not as half as great and good as you are.

I have seen educated and rich men still train a woman and she turns around to follow someone else.

What we should be talking about is taking caution,and discover the type of woman you should do such for. A pig is a pig,no matter how you try to bath it,it will still behave as a pig.

I don't think it's bad for an illiterate man to want to marry a literate woman... probably he's hoping his kids will benefit from it in a way, but then not every poor man is an illiterate

Pierocash:
bro women who betray trust and love will betray you no matter who you are. Sometimes the people they mess around with are not as half as great and good as you are.

I have seen educated and rich men still train a woman and she turns around to follow someone else.

What we should be talking about is taking caution,and discover the type of woman you should do such for. A pig is a pig,no matter how you try to bath it,it will still behave as a pig.

That one na true, but atleast know ur limit or if at all u wan do am. Do it as if na charity u dey do so u wont xome here and create a thread
As i dey so, even if i spend a billion naira to do wedding and marriage, if my wife mess up the next day its off by me.
I wont start crying because of the money i spent.
Cos before i spend 1b i should have more than 10b sitting comfortable in the account.
Thats my mindset o.
No time to waste o when u have billions of pussies all over from hongkong to vietkong

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

Intentions for our actions is a driving force. The man loved her first, discovered she's intelligent and decided to get her educated. She saw his intention from the onset. She's educated now and can't settle down with him.
There are many who have also trained women like that and got married to them.
Things happen.

So love should be selfless regardless but what we call love today is chop I chop...

If you must train the lady, marry her first, get three kids from her and send her to school afterwords in the State you both live.

Never trust people.

confirm!

Fahdiga:
Only fools does that with the intention of marrying the girl. if you want to help someone do it without expecting anything in return

Trustedpro:
They are not fools...it is called love. When you fall in love with someone you can do anything to upgrade the life of the person. I have seen women that release millions of naira to a man they love, I have seen men doing same. We should only watch out for those whom we love and that'll never love you back.

Which woman I hope you are not referring to Nigerian women and also in this 21century

If my parents didn’t have the funds to train me in school, I for go learn hairdressing.

Education is a lifetime investment. Anyone who gives you that has given you a lot. That’s too much power in the hands of a Nigerian man that isn’t ones father. Me no fit guarantee you say I go marry you and I no go like make you come dey cry “after all I did for her”, e no dey hard una.

No train me abeg. Go train your mama...

confirm! you said it all

tobechi74:
Exactly. It becomes a transaction. It is no longer generosity, or kindness or true love. There is nothing wrong in either but we should not confuse the two.
Prostitutes openly discuss their terms before hand.
But in relationship of this days, we make so many assumption under the disguise of love.
Relationship of today is ls domestic partnership. You fulfil my want , I fulfill yours.

The girl has gotten what she wanted. She leaves and society calls her an ingrate .

God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.

Relationshipe of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Relationship is disguiseded prostitution. Our goal is the benefit and not the individual yet we deny it.The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/12/16/distorted-perception-of-love/

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tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

Too, much sense dey worry u. Are u from this planet at all?

Pierocash:
In other words what this implies is that you shouldnt help the one you love to attain her dreams by educating her?.

So it is now a crime to try to better her life,instead marry her as an illiterate and both of you should die as illiterates.

I think I agree with you at the bolded.

Mo una try to dey read to understand. With an open mind. The summary of his piece is that one should examine and make sure his motives of doing anything isn't selfish. And that one shouldn't blackmail anybody into love.
If una dey find comprehension difficult, una fit maybe reroll in jss 3. It's not bad to start again

If you love her, then why care about her education?
Love overshadow all things.
If you love her, get married at once first,
that should be the primary aim, then education, or setting up an investment for her should be secondry.
Those that re victims of these things have failed to put simple rules into use.
Put the cart before the horse, thats progress.
But when you put the horse before the cart, thats retrogression.
Please, dont sponsor any girl in school for the sake of love, its not love you feel, its stupidity.
If love is your real reason, then marriage should be the priority not education.
Then after marriage, education can come in,
Thats love!
Get married to her, send her to school,
she can no longer run.

EVILFOREST:
Honestly.
Instead of investing in such LADIES, Please use your hard earned money to establish a POULTRY, where birds can be raised for their meaty purposes.
At least, you are sure of where your energy is going.

MY Wealthy Uncle did it. Despite his Wealth, his WIFE left him for an educated Engineer who worked in Shell petroleum then. In Fact, it was my Uncle who used his connection to secure his WIFE a place in shell since he was dealing on PIPELINES and Caterpillar Trucks. He's so wealthy dat he built his 1st house at d age of 28.
Since then my FAMILY and Extended Ones set our standards, including the overtly educated ones.
We don't condole Nonsense degrees from Ladies.
U must be gainfully employed before proposal.
U must have self worth else you vamoose.
We check everything before marriage.

Your family will surely raised alpha male who will rule the world not this all simp men that wash womens underwears and Will do anything to please a lady not knowing you can never satisfy a lady only God, kudos to your family.

coolsegun2002:
The guy doesn’t have sense....an unobjective analyzer..... I think a part of his brain is missing

Wickedness

Those are pussy niggas real niggas do this

seanwilliam:
I Dey try keep my cool for the op write up ,, because if I talk wetin Dey my mind to her this morning,they might ban me.. if you see the rage in me reading that post ehn

Sorry bro I know you are an alpha male like me calm down abeg, allow simp to continue simping till the great beyond

Whiteshield:
Before sponsoring a girl to school, marry her first and let her give birth to 2 children. After that, you can send her to school.

Thank you this is the best plan to save your self from these girls...never you trust them

even if she still misbehaves after you marrying her as long as you have your two children....you can let her go..away.....when her eyes clear....she go regret

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

I think U are not been realistic with all this epistle. u want to benefit from Jesus but u don't want to be a Christian. very laughable how u think. I want to believe u are a Lady ? sometimes I get baffled how u guys think

womenareapes:
shut up you piece of shiit

any man who sponsored a girl, (be it girlfriend) to school is a foolish man, he is worse than an infidel and deserve to be treated like shiit in his society with no messy

such a stvpid guy!

no investment is worth investing in yourself and your siblings or family!

Naija women are so stvpid hence should be treated like boko haram

there not worth spending your dime for!

useless self entitlement biitches!

simps are the worse set of people on this planet earth!

Another alpha in site please calm down

tobechi74:
Exactly. It becomes a transaction. It is no longer generosity, or kindness or true love. There is nothing wrong in either but we should not confuse the two.
Prostitutes openly discuss their terms before hand.
But in relationship of this days, we make so many assumption under the disguise of love.
Relationship of today is ls domestic partnership. You fulfil my want , I fulfill yours.

The girl has gotten what she wanted. She leaves and society calls her an ingrate .

God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.

Relationshipe of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Relationship is disguiseded prostitution. Our goal is the benefit and not the individual yet we deny it.The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/12/16/distorted-perception-of-love/

True love this, generosity that, flower this. What do u understand about true love and humanity? As far as nor be only u dey live, u must learn not to use ur own disturb another person own u hear.

tobechi74:
Help anyone achieve her dream . But she does not owe you anything in return. I have heard cases of men insisting their wife paid them half of her salary because she sponsored her education. That mindset should be abolished. She does not owe a guy marriage because he sponsored her education.
If she no longer finds him suitable for marital commitment, she can bail out at any time. She must not marry you the guy as payment for debt owed.

If you want to invest in her, draft a contract first and state the terms and conditions. Then enforce them in a law court. Then, this is a contract and not done out of love.

it's like a guy done fall victim for this one hand o, and she just dey look for all way round to justify her selfish and heartless actions. To all my guys out there, please always use ur head, very very necessary and important.

tobechi74:
The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

This is laughable.

Nazgul:
It has been a very wrong move from the onset. I can choose to help you as a friend, cousin, extended family member...etc. But girlfriend...for me, no way.

Training a girl makes you feel you own her. You're giving her what her parents can't afford. So there's this authoritative nature in you that activates itself. You unknowingly become a dictator to her and would constantly keep reminding her how much you're spending daily to educate her ungrateful a55. Many girls wouldn't like such.
Also, most uneducated guys that do this are very very rude. You're always calling her to know where she is, some of these guys lack manners, some shout and order the girl to go home if she tell them she's outside her hostel by 7:pm.

I witnessed a case like that when I was still schooling. The girl was living in my lodge. This guy yells at her like he's her parent. Even when he visit it's more of order and quarrel than romance. They were always quarreling. He was always reporting her to her parents at any slightest provocation.

The girl just told me that once she's through with school she'll look for someone else, that she can't live with this kind of person. I just kept quiet cos if I was in her shoes, I'll do the same.

I usually don't usually advise guys to train girls these days cos it will most likely end in tears but if you must do it, see the girl as your younger sister. Never assume the position of a dictator or else she'll start opening her legs for broke romantic guys there in school and lavish your money and provisions on them. Be more romantic with her and less authoritative towards her. Make her love you for you and not because of what you're doing for her. And she might just stick to you.

Ur head dey there jor. Nor be that other one wey dey find way to justify people stupidity.