Dijita:


His problem is not marriage. his problem is he does not want to help her because he want her to jump through the hoop. It is a selfish mindset

Bola146:
Its means you don't love her Three years?!! better you let her know her fate.

obi4eze:
I think you are being unreasonable here. If you want to make her your wife then you both should think of staying together and that involves her relocation.

pocohantas:
Naso. Them done run create alternate to drag the arguments of yesterday.

Don’t stress yourself, Sir. There are many girls in the diaspora, find one there and marry. There is really no need for this thread considering you know what you want and the answer is simple.

Marry someone there.

Dijita:
I am sorry to say that I feel you are a selfish person to have a list of what you cannot do to help people. It is money. The money you are going to use to help people is neither going to make you poor nor rich. Let say you help her here and you did not get to marry her. Is that going to bring you down? Is it going to rub you of your own achievement? If you are in the position to help people help them. You never know tomorrow.

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

longetivity:
What if she gets over there and start doing u hanky panky. I mean you know how these vagina people behave

Dijita:
I am sorry to say that I feel you are a selfish person to have a list of what you cannot do to help people. It is money. The money you are going to use to help people is neither going to make you poor nor rich. Let say you help her here and you did not get to marry her. Is that going to bring you down? Is it going to rub you of your own achievement? If you are in the position to help people help them. You never know tomorrow.

TransAtlanticEx:
You are a fool,a very big one.
Good gestures don't exist,the earlier you guys learn to accept this the better for your dumb asses,thanks.
What does he stand to gain from this your bastard kind of arrangement after spending his money?
Does he look like father xmas to you?
Only a valueless/unproductive man who knows not the power/value of money can come up with this trash,so I wont be shocked to find out you are a loser in real life.

400billionman:


Lol. Poverty is dealing with you.

That was my opinion.

Give yours. You are just a hater.

I have sponsored people and don't expect anything from them. You have a slow mentality.

TransAtlanticEx:
Poverty is dealing with who?lol dreamer.
Keep dreaming,sponsorship indeed.

400billionman:


What I do with my money doesn't concern you.

Bleep you.

You go kill yourself on top another man philanthropy.

TransAtlanticEx:
What you do with your monopoly money you mean?
Have they introduced philantropy to that game?Last time I played it(like 15years ago),all you could purchase was some square boxes in the board we use to call house.
Sweet childhood memories
Ode dreamer,ndi philantropy

canttedra:

I love her. I'm not sure about marriage yet, but it could happen with her.

400billionman:


I will give you palliatives this Christmas for making me laugh.

Bola146:
Its means you don't love her Three years?!! better you let her know her fate.

cooooooks:
You're being a tad ridiculous.

He said he wants her to come as a student. That is the better option for her too.

Bola146:
Its means you don't love her Three years?!! better you let her know her fate.

mrssomebody:

Maybe I'm just bothered that he doesn't want to marry her and he is just disguising with that resolution thing. breaking certain rule for people you care about shouldn't be that hard.

Curiouscity:
I did this about 7 years ago. I live in deep regrets everyday. My marriage may likely end soonest!

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

chrisj2:
Funny people around here... Yes, if you give away your money, it affects your own development and ability to do several things. And for someone young, it is debarring yourself...

You date someone and see them from time to time as young people and students - it does not mean you know them well enough for marriage. And why tie yourself up so early.

As for oga philanthropist; do you know how much it will cost him?

Curiouscity:
I did this about 7 years ago. I live in deep regrets everyday. My marriage may likely end soonest!

cooooooks:
I think the many negative stories are making him modify but not break his rule.

I also think the rule is sensible. However, he should consider that they met before he went back to the US.

Dijita:

I pray God will restore peace into your marriage . Please don't regret helping someone you love. The trouble you are having now is not because you help. It is just part of the trouble of life

FanOfMyself:

Most women betray their husband when the man takes them abroad!
My brother is suffering same in the UK!!!
Stop trying to dissuade this, maybe it will happen to your brother for you to know how deceitful and wicked a woman can be in this regard

cooooooks:
You're being a tad ridiculous.

He said he wants her to come as a student. That is the better option for her too.

FanOfMyself:

Most women betray their husband when the man takes them abroad!
My brother is suffering same in the UK!!!
Stop trying to dissuade this, maybe it will happen to your brother for you to know how deceitful and wicked a woman can be in this regard