Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? (25794 Views)
| Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by whyteteeth(op): 11:45am On Dec 29, 2020 |
I am 30 this year and it has always been my dream to marry @ 30 or before 30. But the truth is I haven't been able to fall in love with any woman for years now. I do have sex. And I have women in my life from time to time yet I am not in love with any of them. Now the real issue is this, I stumbled on an article in this forum days back that says that an arranged marriage is the best meaning that without being in love with your spouse, you two can still have a successful marriage, and I have been giving it a thought. With this premise, Should I just marry and then maybe love can grow over time or should I keep waiting till I fall in love before I marry? I seriously need your advice please.. 28 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by whyteteeth(op): 11:46am On Dec 29, 2020 |
whyteteeth: 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Olunmercy56(f): 11:59am On Dec 29, 2020 |
You can't marry someone you are not in love with. 25 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Liposure: 12:19pm On Dec 29, 2020*. Modified: 11:04am On Dec 31, 2020 |
Olunmercy56:people do and still do. Its about perception 195 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Nobody: 1:05pm On Dec 29, 2020*. Modified: 2:22pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No. In fact, falling in love must be the single greatest reason why so many marriages end up in divorce. This is because when you love, you close your eyes to her faults and still go ahead to marry. By the time your eyes open after one or two children; as they surely will; all the faults will just hit you gbam in the face. You will then either divorce, start cheating, or live out the rest of your life in an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage. It is far better to go into marriage with open eyes; i.e. no love blinding you. That way, you choose wisely. Of course the above advice is obviously only for men, since women never marry for love but enter marriage with open eyes, and are always fully aware of the man's faults before they marry. 291 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by thorpido(m): 1:39pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
Do you love yourself,Op? If you don't love yourself,how will you love another person?I think the reason you have not been able to love any woman is because there are issues deep within you that need to be resolved. Your question of if you should marry someone arranged even if you don't love the person,well you will still need to have feelings for the person or else it would not work. 29 Likes |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Nobody: 1:45pm On Dec 29, 2020*. Modified: 2:21pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
I dont believe in love before marriage because we humans tend to have a flawed perception about love. Let me just say physical attraction. That's is what I will call the love we claim to feel. Now, it is a matter of decision. A decision you might not be able to do. If you are not physically attracted to a woman strongly before you get married to her (as you are in this case), you would have to make the decision to love her. Yes, I said make the decision to love her. Love here is a conscious effort. To love her is to accept her despite her flaws and trying to make her a better person. And it is quite hard to do this for someone you aren't attracted to. On the other hand, what if its when you get into the marriage that you see someone who you have great attraction for?? Humans like sweeter things and love as it is isn't always sweet but attraction is. Why? Because love stays when all things fall but attractions falls when problem stays. Ask yourself this question. Why do you want to get married? Do you want to fulfil a societal obligation or because you want to start a family or because you want to build love in it's purest form. May God help you. 93 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by whyteteeth(op): 1:46pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
RisenPhoenix1:This is good and exceptional! I have never heard this before. Are you married sir? 17 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by whyteteeth(op): 1:52pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
thorpido:Forget what you think Bro, I love myself and I that's why I want proper advice on what to do. 8 Likes |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by thorpido(m): 2:03pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
whyteteeth:It's not about what I think.You have said you love yourself,so that answers it. |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Nobody: 2:18pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
whyteteeth:Yes. But I jettisoned all myths of love and romance long before I got married, and I'm more happily married today because of it. Fondness steps in as time goes by. I think that is the true love, not all this Hollywood/ Nollywood nonsense you see on TV. 60 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by chandini435: 3:41pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
:You can't marry someone you are not in love with. people do and still do. Its only a matter of perception 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by RightToReject(m): 4:15pm On Dec 29, 2020*. Modified: 7:43pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No. But you must certify a woman worthy of your selfless or at least fair acts, and be sure that she certifies you worthy of hers too, to have a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage is one where both spouses are mutually happy. The ability of both spouses to maintain their respective symbol of worthiness - that which makes one worthy can be some material or immaterial thing - and continually remain contented with each other's symbol of worthiness will form the bond of the union. The bond that will be formed, spoken or unspoken, is called love. So, as much as you don't need to fall in love before you marry, you must, however, love who you marry to have a healthy marriage. The ambiguity of the word love cannot nullify its existence, efficacy, and importance, no matter how anyone tries to negate it. From my observation, unfortunately, less than 5% of marriages/unions globally are healthy because a majority of people don't believe in love or practice love by omission or commission. Meanwhile, any arranged marriage that succeeds (is healthy); does because the arranger was discerning enough to see the complementing worthiness of the spouses involved. In summary, what sustains a healthy union is love (the complementing worthiness of the spouses involved), not whether one finds their spouse personally or someone else matchmakes them. 27 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Mariangeles(f): 4:17pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
Olunmercy56:Yes, he can. There are other reasons why people get married aside "being love". 1 Like |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Richy4(m): 4:29pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
It's not compulsory that you must do what others were doing.. If you are the type that doesn't believe in love before tying the knots, there are like mind people out there waiting for you... but they must find something interesting about you.. Eg, it could be your money that they like, it could be your generous heart, it could be your good looks, your acrobatic nature in bed... etc.. Just find something interesting about your spouse, if she's ok about what you have to offer, and you are ok with zero love she has for you but the interesting thing she sees in you, then both of you are good to go.. That's my opinion though.... 6 Likes |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by BigDawsNet: 4:38pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
When you find the right woman You will love her and marry her And have a wonderful family You are 30... Don't rush because you wanna break your record Relax and search.. You will find someone nice and cool 16 Likes |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Ikjosh04: 6:01pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
Love is commitment, understanding the value, the worth, the importance and the significance of a person to God, to me and to society. To get married look for attraction and compatibility, then love who you are attracted and compatible with. 21 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
Yes ooo... I mean... You can't allow someone you don't feel anything for to touch you. It's very key. Don't let anyone brainwash you with talks of " love can develop After marriage" it's doesn't work. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by peacekante: 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by obicoolnino: 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
It's always good to be in love with the person you're to get married to because the moment you're in love, you'll overlook his or her mistakes and let things roll smoothly... If you know you can endure, you can as well get married without falling in love if you feel the lady is OK for you and you two can build a strong relationship regardless her character within. 3 Likes |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by PotatoSalad(m): 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No. Just do one random lady "sssss" and insert your sim. (Dewise connected). Then go meet her papa.  |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Ekakamba: 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No! But make sure the other party fall in love with you.  |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by tit(f): 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No. And you mus'nt fall in love for the marriage to last. 1 Like |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by MrHighSea: 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
yeah |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by slawormiir: 7:32pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
Damnnnnn niggarrr First of all bros op If you want to go for arranged marriage...it is okay With time the love can grow.. Let me tell you a secret bros op Sometimes ehnnnn...loving someone is not all about a feeling that grows on its own at times it is about your decision ..... If you decide or rather take a decision to love someone then you will realize the feelings of love will start growing 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Nobody: 7:33pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No. You don't need to. |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by pawsofdikeje(m): 7:33pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by abc115: 7:33pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
No |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by Chatflick(m): 7:33pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
This is the most stupid thing I've seen on nairaland today. You shouldn't have asked this question at all |
| Re: Must I Fall In Love Before I Marry? by EjaikreTheViper(f): 7:33pm On Dec 29, 2020 |
Nigerian girls are not worth the stress! I prefer girls from Asia or other African countries 4 Likes |
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