₦airaland Forum

stop giving excuses for women when they misbehave. Maybe the women around you have sharp and bad mouth.

The tongue can kill, men and women should learn to control their tongues. Whatever comes out of your mouth, whether in anger or otherwise can not be taken back.

GayPontiff:
Juju man...calm down.

Women mouth sharp pass razor.

Let it go ok

Omihanifa:
I think you allowed your wife to see you finish

How can you be escorting her to go and pee and also escort her back when she's done peeing
Which kind love be that one

As regards the things she said to you via SMS and verbal exchange. All I can say is that you have a snake over your roof.

There are some men like that...it is not mumu. It is just their nature to go out of their way to make the one they love happy. Such people, once you take that love for granted, it can take forever to have that special treatment again.

When someone close to you uses a flaw you have, be it a disability or whatever against you it is very bad. That is a serious breach of trust. Moreover, the fact that she said it in anger also shows that has really thought of it before and considered her husband as that man, with disability and that man that does juju.

The tongue can kill, men and women should learn to control their tongues. Whatever comes out of your mouth, whether in anger or otherwise can not be taken back.

Many of you people are just excusing bad behaviour from a woman just because she is a woman. I'm sure your tone would have been different the roles were reversed.

CalliDora1:
Stop holding on to those words. She said them out of anger and didn't really mean them otherwise she would have made good her threat and not bothered settling with you. Holding on to those words will only keep putting a strain on your marriage and reduce your love for her.

She still loves you. Just forgive and forget.

Dear OP i don't know what to advise you. But what your wife did was horrible. And there is no excuse whatsoever, for a wife to use husbands weakness against him and even going as far as calling him juju man.

Only you should know if her actions warrants a divorce.

The tongue can kill, men and women should learn to control their tongues. Whatever comes out of your mouth, whether in anger or otherwise can not be taken back.

CrescentMoon

mosdii:
From the comments, 99% of the F gender never cautioned or blamed the woman for sending such despicable text message.
They were all urging you to forgive and forget but what if it was the other way around and you sent her this text message? Hell would have been let loosed and they will call you all sorts of unprintable names.
It is called the sisterhood, they will always protect the hood.

You are very observant. What you will notice nowadays is that if you as a man tell a woman about the evil her fellow woman did to you or to another man, you will see that the woman will ALWAYS take sides with the other woman against a man.

A woman will never see any wrong in their fellow woman even if the other woman commits murder as long as it is a man the other woman killed. These women are worse than cult members and it even happens in families where the woman has literarilly initiated her sons and daughters into a cult of hating their Dad.

We men need to start acting in unity against these witches disguised as women.

I am even more amazed when I see or hear a fellow man taking sides with a woman against another man. Something a woman will NEVER do.

Our mumu don do. If na because of pvssy, the world has evolved to a state that NO MAN NEEDS A PERMANENT PVSSY ANYMORE.

Just this little provocation, she has said everything she has been harbouring in her mind for long.
For her to tell you this plainly, that means she has more up her sleeves.

And remember this. Once a wife starts rubbishing her husband, she will NEVER stop.

Once a wife starts disrespecting their husbands, they will never stop 'cos they derive sexual pleasure from seeing a man they once held in high esteem become weak and scared.

Seeing their once strong husband display weakness or fear hardens their spiritual dick which will eventually become bigger than your natural dick if you keep hanging around such cantankerous wife.

Thirdly, never take any advice from any F gender because they are not logical only emotional.

Words on marble.

Why is everyone taking the side of the wife?

Op,your wife has no respect for you, she has no love for you and she married you out of pity and because she had no options.

Kindly, give her the divorce she wanted.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

/
There is nothing damaging in what she told you compared to what other husbands have been told. At least she didn’t say the kids are not yours.

Deal with it.

/

mosdii:
From the comments, 99% of the F gender never cautioned or blamed the woman for sending such despicable text message.
They were all urging you to forgive and forget but what if it was the other way around and you sent her this text message? Hell would have been let loosed and they will call you all sorts of unprintable names.
It is called the sisterhood, they will always protect the hood.


OP, it is clear that you were not her choice, she settled for you (pity) which she blatantly said without any remorse.
She hurriedly reminds you of your disability because you are not her choice. She has no respect, like talkless of love for you.
She hates you and wants to get out from the marriage but she's only considering the benefits she's receiving since she is not bringing anything to the table.

Just this little provocation, she has said everything she has been harbouring in her mind for long.
You can forgive anything but not disrespect on your disability that is not your fault.


For her to tell you this plainly, that means she has more up her sleeves.
Firstly, get confirmation that the children she birthed are yours.
Secondly, give her that divorce she wants because you are clearly living with the devil.
Thirdly, never take any advice from any F gender because they are not logical only emotional.


Nigerian Girls Are Useless....All Of Them

You're blessed!!

I don't know what wrong with the mumus saying rubbish like 'naso woman dey do', 'forgive her she no mean am'.

It's about time, men start fighting for themselves.

The male gender is under siege.

Op, I say it again, DIVORCE HER.

Things will never be the same again with this couple. Let's be realist and stop acting like a motivational speakers jaare. This woman has broken OP heart. Do you know what it feel like for your soul mate to utters some unforgettable words to you? Someone you believe should gat ur back, decided to open her mouth and say something like this? Someone you are ready to lay down ur life for, the father of ur kids. Both of you has seen everything there is to see in each other. But out of anger she open her mouth to say such words to you? I'm very sure OP must have cried alone before bringing it to this platform. It's very painful and if I'm in ur shoes, wallahi I will never forgive her. Such woman can kill. A stranger can say anything to me and I will shake it off and move on with my life but my soulmate, oh no no. If you said it, you meant it. Nothing is capable of destroying a man like wicked words. What impudent. This life is so short to spend it putting up with an inconsiderate and wicked woman like ops wife. After years of marriage, you dare call me disable because of anger and you rqually said you married me out of pity. I'm not capable of loving such woman again no vex.

Omihanifa:
I think you allowed your wife to see you finish

How can you be escorting her to go and pee and also escort her back when she's done peeing
Which kind love be that one

As regards the things she said to you via SMS and verbal exchange. All I can say is that you have a snake over your roof.

Op don't mind this person all woman does that they brag and talk too much during quarrelling. If you are a marry man you will know what I'm saying

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Persevere with that woman until your kids are old enough to be on their own, then throw her out.

Remember, you are not doing it for her or for yourself, you are doing it for your kids. Simp if you have to, take all the indignities she offers and wait for your turn!

I am really good at this myself.

Don't forget those words she meant every single thing. If I were you she'd be out of my house.

MondayOsunbor:
if i tell una wetin my woman dey tell me whenever she vex


your guys will happily get me license to kill

Please don't say that, take her to a counselor or sit her down to know what she is passing through. I don't like domestic violence please

Ogarexmas:
Most words spoken in anger are not to be taken lightly, sometimes these are the things we need to say but haven't had the right opportunity to say it.
I put it to you that your wife meant every insult she threw to you.
The best thing for you to do is to just forgive her and let it slide and you have to give her a stern warning that this shouldn't repeat itself.
In every action you take do not think of divorce even if it should happen it should not come from you.
E get why....

ABEG why? Maybe I fit learn something from you.

You're strong,no doubt.

JourneytoEL:
forgive your wife. most marriages have their ups and downs. The text indeed is damaging but don't forget you tortured her emotionally by avoiding your home.

If his wife made him feel at home would he have been avoiding his house? Pls lets be realistic here,his wife is so manipulative and thats the truth.I know their type,they hardly say sorry for their wrong and blame you for everything,even when you avoid their troubles,they become hurt and use terribĺe words especially ur problems to hurt you.My advice to the man,he shouldnt tolerate nonsense from her again.He should be a bit strict and that will do the trick,believe me

Omihanifa:
I think you allowed your wife to see you finish

How can you be escorting her to go and pee and also escort her back when she's done peeing
Which kind love be that one

As regards the things she said to you via SMS and verbal exchange. All I can say is that you have a snake over your roof.

You obviously no nothing about marriage and having a happy home. Which one is see finish when your married to our soul mate? What a mentality

Ezini:
I beg to differ a bit
OP tortured the wife to a point of contemplating suicide if she were to be a weak person
That was a real psychological trauma,
Those hurtful words were the last struggles of a drowning person, anything to make you feel what she was feeling

Afterall when she said she was done with the marriage and you added salt to injury by asking her to suit herself, did she leave you?
Rather she became scared and frantic
Your wife loves you very well,
On the issue of repeating an offence, marriage is a union of two different people, you may not be able to change her, consider taking her for who she is,

Lol, why were you angry, is your uncle not a juju man? accept it n move on biko,

Dont just make a.woman mad, some will pour you boiled water and still offer to stay out the time with you in hospital, when the anger dies down

I want to believe you’re not the type of woman in the bolded.. because if a woman/wife/girlfriend does that to me, after i comot for hospital, I will make sure I blind her or I cut off her leg.. if a woman gets mad, she should go hug transformer not for her to transfer her stupid aggression on me.. I am romantic, cool and funny, but I hate nonsense..

GayPontiff:
Juju man...calm down.

Women mouth sharp pass razor.

Let it go ok

Women mouth no pass any razor. The difference is that men reason the consequences of their spoken words and are guided but women will say or do something right now and start regretting the next minute.
Men can as well open their mouth and let out what ever that comes to their mind but no(the consequences)

Shokoloko:
1. She sent you a really disrespectful text.
2. In her text she says "Its over". When someone is done they will not bother to announce it. Apparently she isnt done.
3. She was upset when she did not get a reaction from you. I think she still likes you.
4. I am very concerned if the only thing your spouse has done in all the years of marriage is pumping out kids. She doesn't even keep the family well fed and the home clean? She leaves the kids to go their own way once she delivers them? You have to breastfeed your kids yourself?! Strange
5. Does she continuously refer to your disability? If yes, she pities you: no love. If no, it was a one time act of foolishness.
6. Please place your boundaries. She should leave if this is about pity and if it is not she should never refer to your disability again.
7. There are 5 love languages. If you do 150% of four and it is not your spouse's love language it means nothing...so check if the unimaginable things you did for her happiness actually resonate with her.
8. Do not abscond from your own home anymore.
9. Saving your spouse's life is not spectacular - it is expected. Five pints of my blood is in my spouse's body right now. Its not a big deal

you almost made sense but u blew it up with your last paragraph.
how can you donate 5pints of blood and still alive? please take it easy when lying Mrs donator.

Orkpekyandega:
You are not a Woman but a man behind that Account.

I have observed that women always support and defend any nasty (or bad) thing done in marriage against the man.

I have seen this same thing on NL, FB, twitter, and other social media platforms I am active on.

That is why I do not think "any man that finds a wife has found a good thing" should still be hanging in the Bible. It should be removed.

I have observed that marriage is slavery and punishment to two people who pretend to live together just to give birth to children and over burden the man to be a slave to the wife and her relatives.

Marriage is SCAM and that is why there are no good testimonies about marriage in our society.

1. Go and read my advise on page 1. Not all women support nasty behaviour. I am almost sure that your mum does not.
2. That is why I do not think "any man that finds a wife has found a good thing" should still be hanging in the Bible. It should be removed.
Many people do not sit and find spouses: they are either sampling, or looking at the outward. The fact that you wedded a person doesn't mean the
person matches the definition of "wife" or "husband". That person may be better suited for someone else.

luvmijeje:
I deh tire for marriage wahala.

How dare you leave your house for 4 days in order to punish your wife. Please put yourself in her shoe. You were willing to destroy your marriage because of your pride. The way you couldn't forget her hurtful words is the same way she will never get to trust you again.

Any marriage without trust is dead. You have a bigger issue than the words she spoke against you.

See how you condemned the man but you didn't put the same energy in condemning his wife's despicable words

femmoy:
you almost made sense but u blew it up with your last paragraph.
how can you donate 5pints of blood and still alive? please take it easy when lying Mrs donator.

After calling me a liar, please show me where I stated it was donated at one time.
If you are in the medical field or even an avid reader you would know that some people donate blood regularly.

But you just preferred to call a woman a liar rather than put your brain to use.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

for the sake of ur kids, forgive but don't forget. They are all sweet when the going is good and you do they bidding but when do the opposite then trouble start. Don't let her push u into depression and suicidal thoughts. This is the storm b4 the calm

Shokoloko:
7. There are 5 love languages. If you do 150% of four and it is not your spouse's love language it means nothing...

What are the 5?
Thank you.

Person wey dey find the pity in davido voice, everybody disable one way or the other na you are not alone, no cry cry baby make peace with your wife you are the man and she's the woman

This is what happens when a man uses wife to do girlfriend and use girlfriend to do wife

So sorry for the emotional trauma, betrayal and disappointment you suffered in the hands of the Jezebelian Delilah. You better be careful because the next time, it could be something worst. But you sef, are you a lizard? Why are you using facial expressions in the place of words? Or is it because of the disability? I'm sorry if so.
Lastly, check closely if she's "TRULY" remorseful. If she's relaxed and unconcerned towards this disrespect, dishonour, demeanor, disgrace, disappointment, demonisation, dehumanisation, and disregard, then place her where she belong.

jagorinho:
hmmn!!
it is like you want to put hook in my throat lol, for men in such category, all they can do is mitigate, they can only reduce it but they can't eliminate it.

Lol...hook ke...No o...just wandering ni o.
I have bn gently letting my wife of 7yrs know that i don't like her dress sense from the go but i always think she'd turn a new leaf after each complaint and gentle correction and now, i'm done bn gentle and i want to go all out to put a final stop to it. That's why I was asking those questions.

...but in my case, i'm going to put a STOP to it and ELIMINATE it by all means. Anyone that tells me 7years is not enough to allow for a change is on his/her own.

CrescentMoon:
She doesn't use internet. She's educated, though. She logs in to Facebook once in a while. If she wants to do any other small things online, she relies on me. Even I keep all her passwords for her.

And she get mind dey view MORE RELIABLE u as disable.
From what I read this is your first major squabble. First Offences are heartbreaking but they must. But to enjoy marital future any Bleep up must be reciprocated with whatever seems a just punishment. Don't let her go scot free. Na so e dey start. She must feel the strength of your leadership. Dear beging to reason some sheepish benefits, unnecessary attention for some time. Pls let her know you are trying to get over those text and words with difficulty. But once the days of punishment is over then u must return more love than before. The wisdom of leadership.

I hate to be bearer of bad news but bros, go and do DNA test on your children. There is a bigger story behind the scene here, I can feel it.

CalliDora1:
Stop holding on to those words. She said them out of anger and didn't really mean them otherwise she would have made good her threat and not bothered settling with you. Holding on to those words will only keep putting a strain on your marriage and reduce your love for her.

She still loves you. Just forgive and forget.

You think?