candyguyofficia:


Don't do such, Op even if you want to get back at her but not this way. It seem your wife have seen you alot don't add this to it. In between Op seem your wife is JW

And your small mind tells you it's only JW that doesn't accept blood transfusion.

SweetCunt97:
Yes she'll cry cos she's probably jobless with no means of sustenance and wouldn't wanna explain to the society how she lost her marriage. Lolzzz, you men think most women who cry and beg do so out of love? Lmfao.

You think Nigerian men are real men? Na war oooo!!!
The mofos think women love them? Until the idiots reach 60 and they are penniless and the bitches called wife would show them pepper.
They cannot even develop their environment and country. Foolish men!

Yusufisraelj:
OP

Many have given great suggestions here, I wish you were like me as regards words, but variety brings beauty.

So what I have is to fault you in absconding, when a woman repeats an offense, there is the likelihood that she is feeling she is not really loved by you. When was the last time you did something that she considers an affection of love from you?

You see relationship is about the other person not you, equally you watch what you get in return.

I fault you bkos, you should spare head the direction the house takes and not abscond, equally learn to speak up quickly, showing facial expression is never enough, kill the issue there and then let her know that that should not be repeated.

Go home with a gift, talk to your wife, iron things out, let her know what you want and how like it done and hear her own side to and both of you should commit to doing it for the other, then make sweet love. My brother nothing is as bad as it seems, every marriage problem get solution. Cheers

Chai!!!

TOTAL ABSOLUTE RUBBISH!!!!

xProfx:


Please forgive her and move on. Every promising relationship will face challenges. There is too much at stake, especially the kids and the time and resources you have invested in each other.

Go home, pour your heart out to her and I am sure she will apologize. It's a lifetime commitment sir, please manage her and I am sure the future is bright.

BULL!

Giantfarmer:
my dear, women are lavish in words, ruled by emotion and behave like babies sometimes...she can tell you anything or make up issues just to get your attention..... I have learnt not to take women's words seriously especially when angry ...
my advice is,
1.don't always take her by her words especially when she is angry... you should have known her by now my gf is like that too
2. take her on a treat and make it romantic then tell her to take back her words and probably rewrite and resend you the messages she sent earlier...
forgive and forget.. enjoy your marriage you can't get another because only you can make a perfect home..

Foolish talk.

Icumsa45:


You think?

Yeah. I know so.

Susily:


See how you condemned the man but you didn't put the same energy in condemning his wife's despicable words

It's simply because none of you criticise what the man did. He left home for 4 days! 4 Bleep.ing good days.

Orkpekyandega:


Really

Marriage is actually a big SCAM

I am a woman and I know how a woman reason. When you hear a woman says my children are my husbands know that marriage is dead. Lack of trust kills the loyalty of a woman.

When a woman don't trust you, she will start hiding things from you. She stop thinking about collective future and start thinking about her future alone. She will stop being understanding and start killing you with complaints. She will start monitoring your life.

If you marry a woman who is very religious, you are in worse soup. She will start dreaming foolish dream which will lead to many days of fasting which means no bleeping for the man. You will regret your life

Brother please ignore the word and move on in peace. if you consider what women say, you might kill them before their time. trust me she said it to hurt you while she was angry. when she is over her anger, those words mean nothing to her. Talk to her about your feeling on her choice of words but ignore move on and expects damaging words when she is pissed. Until she desires to grow out of that character there is nothing you can do. Family is greatest, giving birth to kids is the biggest sacrifice brother. Men ought not to manage businesses alone but manage women.

CrescentMoon:


Not JW. CAC of a thing.

You've settled with her. But now you need closure concerning the words she said to you. Show her the text and ask her if she is really staying with you because she pities you. Whatever she says will be your closure.

If she married u out of piety then you r a lucky man indeed! But if she said out of pity then na bad woman with wicked mouth b that.
on a serious note I think u can forgive n put all those behind u for now. She needs to work on her attitude and bad mouth. Y she de even solve street matters when she can't solve hers on the home front....or u also need to be abit firm with her. Women hate docile and quiet men. U need to be abit hard on her sometimes.

[... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.[/quote]

You have poor communucation skills. If you don't like something, talk about it instead of facial expressions. Unsaid words are like time bombs.

Climb into a burning house to save a woman...

The day you make her angry, she'll still use it against you.

No allow any woman see you finish, not even your wife.

Why would you tolerate shyte for a long time until she becomes comfortable with it then you start reacting?
Wakanda psychological confusion is that?

You need swallow some redpills with very hot water.

Some men no dey try at all.

Agbebakun22:




Lol I'm not insulting u bro just surprise someone bear the name, well monday osunbor was Anini boy especially in early eighties who terrorise, rob and hijacked people cars but he was caught along with his boss( Anini) I think 1986 or so can't really remember much about the year.. But the man shake bendel gan ooo no be small

brother it may surprise you that monday is my really name and osunbor is my really family name
edo state have a lot of osunbors
but we have nothing in common with the guy you are describing


peace

Olunmercy56:


Please don't say that, take her to a counselor or sit her down to know what she is passing through. I don't like domestic violence please

me too

SolidGains:


Lol...hook ke...No o...just wandering ni o.
I have bn gently letting my wife of 7yrs know that i don't like her dress sense from the go but i always think she'd turn a new leaf after each complaint and gentle correction and now, i'm done bn gentle and i want to go all out to put a final stop to it. That's why I was asking those questions.

...but in my case, i'm going to put a STOP to it and ELIMINATE it by all means. Anyone that tells me 7years is not enough to allow for a change is on his/her own.

ooooh, I get you now. Good Luck.

your situation not to bad but be more firm it seems your wife have seen you finish be firm and take care of your responsibility in the home as usual!

If I'm wrong about what I'm saying, disregard it.

I am a young guy. I didn't even finish reading your story before I already understood your wife is emotionally immature. I am not insulting her, but I can see you're a loving man and you have tolerated a lot. I am also not saying she's a bad woman, but it has gotten to the point where you leave the house and comeback in the evening.

Look sir, all your complains and her saying she would adjust will not change. It's will forever remain in that circle and it'll get worse as you start complaining. There will be less to none physical evidence of the damage she is doing to you when you want to prove your points to others. Of course, others will not even believe you because they know her as the nicest person ever and that's even what attracted and made you love her the more initially.

You'll wonder if she loves you or not because it looks as if the love is on and off, like she will reward you if you with more love if you do more. With time, she's gonna complain that you're bringing your relationship matter to people. You may not understand all these now, but with time you'll get it.

I get it. She might be telling you everything about her toasters, how horrible and understanding her exs were. She may be telling you everything, but everything you want to hear.

Let me tell you one thing sir, she's never gonna take responsibility for the problems that happened that was a result of her direct action and which led you behave in a certain way. She's going to give excuses, say you're the cause, in a nutshell she's gonna be defensive. I know for now, it's like she's accepting her faults.

It is as if she's dangling her love in your face and with time you're gonna start wondering if she ever loved you, does she?

Yeah, she does(in the moment, for now). But you can never have that sweet relationship that you envy in other couples. The only way to make her continue loving you is to always see her point of view and accept anything she does as right or to never blame her. In other words, you have to be the emotional one, like the wife, the one that does the crying and sucks up to her. You have to be her baby and I doubt there are only few men capable of this.

If you keep complaining or try punishing her, she won't be able to take your own side of the slightest punishment and it's going to totally cause more issues. I know you're the nice man trying to have a loving relationship with your wife. You cannot take it again, logically and emotionally and that's why you have come to a forum because you don't know the core rights or wrongs anymore, you may even have started seeing yourself as the problem little by little.

Start your journey of healing be doing simple Google searches like;

My girlfriend threatening to breakup with me all times
My girlfriend is emotionally immature
Emotionally abusive partner

Read everything you see to understand your case. Read both for girlfriend and wife. But be careful not to project everything you see unto her but recognise her patterns.

Many men suffer in marriages for decades and end up dying a short lived life all because they were good and not about to introspect their relationships.

Many times, when women come and tell stories of how the ex left them, it is good to always wonder why would any sane man not want to stick to a sweet woman.

It's long, but it's for educational purposes so that others can learn too.

One last thing, emotionally abusive people hardly change. They didn't really choose to be that way, it was a defensive coping skill they learnt over the years.

You'll remember someone told you this in a faceless forum when the going starts getting worse.

Okay sorry about everything but the story is not complete. What did your wife do repeatedly to offend you? What disability do you have?

MondayOsunbor:



brother it may surprise you that monday is my really name and osunbor is my really family name
edo state have a lot of osunbors
but we have nothing in common with the guy you are describing


peace

Bro you're the one not getting my point never said you're the one or related to the person just surprise that someone know or have same name with the man

worworbabe:
You have poor communucation skills. If you don't like something, talk about it instead of facial expressions. Unsaid words are like time bombs.

You didn't read the part where he said he has complain, tired

One sided story...let us read her own side.

Besides, how do you move to the other side of town to punish her and think it will solve anything? Don't you know the wife you married?

The both of you should iron out any lingering issues and make adjustments.

CrescentMoon:
Let me first tell you my kind of character. For you to make me angry, you have to repeat an offense more than 30 to 40 times. After each offence, I would only give you facial expression that will let you know that you offended me. And I would ensure you get the message.

So wife kept repeating same offence. I told her I don't like what she was doing. She said she would adjust, but kept repeating the same thing. When I got fed up, I tried to retaliate. My only retaliation is that I stopped being around in the house. I would leave the house very early in the morning and return late at night. I would go for business in another town and return 4 days later. She knows nothing stops me from coming home everyday from the other town because I have means of transportation. She flared up. Started calling relatives that I'm maltreating her. They asked her to say which ways I have been maltreating her...she said I'm avoiding our home. Relatives asked if I'm beating or starving her. She said no.

I know why it pained her very well. If she wants to go and urinate outside, I would go and drop her there. When she is through, she would call me and I would go and pick her up again.

She's a woman that's always settling fights for couples in the street. So, she never wanted it to be heard anywhere that we are quarelling in our home. She won't want anybody to come to our house to settle disputes. So this prolongs our fights always.

When she couldn't bear it again, she sent a message to me that goes like this: I INITIALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR DISABILITY AS I PITY YOU. BUT NOW, IT'S OVER. YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS ME ALL THESE YEARS. WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO WITH A JUJU DIABOLIC MAN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE.

Let me disect those words in capital letters for you. I have a disability, but you can't notice it easily until you start talking to me. She said I have to bear the consequences of my actions towards her... looking back, I have done unimaginable things to make her happy. I even saved her life when she didn't want blood transfusion from unknown persons as a result of her Christian belief not to contract demons from the blood of unknown person. Fortunately, my blood group is that of a universal donor. That means I can donate blood for anybody. Note that she had never done any noteworthy thing for me apart from giving birth to our babies. About being a juju man, I will tell you how she arrived at this: somebody was about to give birth from her family side and the baby was in breech position. She asked for advice and I told her that if I take the woman to the village my uncle will give the woman a concoction to reverse it. Her faith is against it, but because someone from her side just gave birth through CS, which almost led to the death of mother and baby, she asked me to take the woman to the village. The breech position was reversed. I'm surprised she now labelled me a juju man.

Instead of me to take her message personal, I urged her to please herself. This infuriated her the more. Instead of leaving me, she invited someone to intervene, tracked me to the second town, and it was settled there.

My problem now is that those words are still ringing in my head... someone I thought was a lover said she married me out of piety.

Please learn to express yourself physically ...talk
. That's what women understand ... Keeping things bottles up kills faster bro ... I used to be like that some years back but I had to change

Ilekokonit:


You are very observant. What you will notice nowadays is that if you as a man tell a woman about the evil her fellow woman did to you or to another man, you will see that the woman will ALWAYS take sides with the other woman against a man.

A woman will never see any wrong in their fellow woman even if the other woman commits murder as long as it is a man the other woman killed. These women are worse than cult members and it even happens in families where the woman has literarilly initiated her sons and daughters into a cult of hating their Dad.

We men need to start acting in unity against these witches disguised as women.

I am even more amazed when I see or hear a fellow man taking sides with a woman against another man. Something a woman will NEVER do.

Our mumu don do. If na because of pvssy, the world has evolved to a state that NO MAN NEEDS A PERMANENT PVSSY ANYMORE.



And remember this. Once a wife starts rubbishing her husband, she will NEVER stop.

Once a wife starts disrespecting their husbands, they will never stop 'cos they derive sexual pleasure from seeing a man they once held in high esteem become weak and scared.

Seeing their once strong husband display weakness or fear hardens their spiritual dick which will eventually become bigger than your natural dick if you keep hanging around such cantankerous wife.




Words on marble.

You are really redpilled. I like that

She said those hurtful words to you to get your attention. I really cannot explain it but it happens like that amongst some females. Now she's got your attention and also has you bearing a grudge (which is very understandable, she insulted you after all).
You talked about talking to her and she not listening, it seems like there is a communication gap between you two. It is a red flag if she doesn't listen to you and also if she has to insult you to get your attention. You both need to learn to communicate with each other effectively and learn to listen to each other.
I'd recommend seeing a good, non biased marriage counselor so as to prevent issues from communication gap in the future.

CalliDora1:


I can't and will never answer this question because it's not my portion.

Redirect it to yourself and answer. I'm waiting.

Lol. Only this comment made me laugh in the whole thread. He shouldn't have put "you". He should have used "someone". What if I tell you my wife initially had problem conceiving? Being a serious Pentecostal Christian, I knew she won't welcome idea of herbal solution from the village. So, when she kept crying always, I told her a primary school classmate, who is now a celestial church prophet has the answer. She reluctantly followed me to the celestial guy in a faraway town. The celestial guy earned my wife's trust because the prophet didn't request for a dime. Wife told me cele prophets are greedy and didn't know why the man didn't collect money. The cele guy told wife that she's special in God's eyes... being reason he won't charge us. Wife conceived successfully that same month. Now wife would say something like "not all cele churches are diabolic.".

CrescentMoon:



Lol. Only this comment made me laugh in the whole thread. He shouldn't have put "you". He should have used "someone". What if I tell you my wife initially had problem conceiving? Being a serious Pentecostal Christian, I knew she won't welcome idea of herbal solution from the village. So, when she kept crying always, I told her a primary school classmate, who is now a celestial church prophet has the answer. She reluctantly followed me to the celestial guy in a faraway town. The celestial guy earned my wife's trust because the prophet didn't request for a dime. Wife told me cele prophets are greedy and didn't know why the man didn't collect money. The cele guy told wife that she's special in God's eyes... being reason he won't charge us. Wife conceived successfully that same month. Now wife would say something like "not all cele churches are diabolic.".

I'm glad it made you laugh.

Thank God for your miracle baby. Happy for you guys.

Shokoloko:


After calling me a liar, please show me where I stated it was donated at one time.
If you are in the medical field or even an avid reader you would know that some people donate blood regularly.

But you just preferred to call a woman a liar rather than put your brain to use.

if you weren't a liar that her brain is malfunctioning,you would have stated there that you donated the blood bit by bit,not saying you donated 5pints of blood. that's an incomplete statement.

besides are you married/engaged to a sickle cell partner? I fear for your reason of donating blood intermittently.

get sense and get a life, don't just come up here and spill trash.

Husbands must not be seperated from their wives...bible

CalliDora1:


I had to call it off cos girls won't allow him to rest. What do you expect from a Chevron lekki big boy. I can't deal.

I've gotten over him but it took me years o. Lol..
He was such a cutie.

You mean if he calls you for a hangout, you won't go?

deltateam:


You mean if he calls you for a hangout, you won't go?

How many time?? He's tried so many times but I kept turning him down. Eventhough he's married o.

I'm not that kind of girl. once I'm done from my heart's of heart, I'm done.

foyeks2001:
Hmmmm... Op, the message is deep.

If it were to be reversed, I might not divorce my husband but definitely he has lost me. I can never be the same again with him. I am still asking God for the spirit of forgiveness. I don't forgive not until I retaliate. Like when what you did to me has to do with life, my future, it's hard to forgive.
I will tell you a case while I was in SS1. We do have agric. Science subject as the last subject on Fridays. Our Agric. Science teacher said one Friday that two students should bring a polythene bag of humus soil, submit it to the class rep and that the class rep should bring names of students that submitted theirs(10 marks) .
The polythene bag then was 5naira. I had no money on me whereas I saw a friend with some money during the break-time, asked her what she's doing with the money, she told me that she would be going to Oshodi to get some clothes the next day(Saturday). We were four intimate friends in the class. Asisat quickly picked Adebisi, I was left with Omolade(the girl with the money). I rushed out to quickly gathered the sand for us(the 2 groups). Then went to meet Omolade to explain to her that I had no money on me now but I will bring my 2naira,50kobo in the evening to her house(her house was just a stone throw to ours). She said never, that she would go and pick another person. I was like what
God so kind, Adebisi came with two polythene bags , one for her and Asisat and one for Omolade and I. I was dumbfounded. (till tomorrow, I can never forget Adebisi). Three years after our secondary school education , Omolade came to our house and saw a bag of rice. She was like, "the money her father gave her was just too little to take to school, that if I could help her with small portions of rice". (Although before she told me that, I gave someone in the compound from the rice). I simply told her that my daddy had counted all the grains in that bag and you know how my daddy is. She left and reported me to all our friends... Simply told them what she did to me when we were in SS1.
So, my brother, that her text is deep.

Just know this... You are yet to have a wife...
As a wife, she's supposed to cover up your disability... As a wife, she's supposed to compliment you.


No matter how angry or disappointed I am... I can never utter such or maybe because I know the kind of man I married... Ekiti men with their ode-ori... Lol

One beautiful thing abt me is whenever I am angry and very happy , I don't talk.

You're my kind of person.