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that day was when I started feeling a little bit of what was coming
when I do remember that day sometimes I do cry and beat myself I was a child loved by many but they misunderstood my intent of being only friendly,calm and respectful
my parents loved me so much bcs of my allowring and good character everybody wants me to be around there child I was an examplary child to all
the coincidence of meeting people who actually has some deep thinking of my kind gesture is what I can't make out since today
even to this age young children male and female boys and girls flow to give me such a sexual gesture I can't interpret
now a boy I could be his elder brother is giving me a light likeable to Jamal ,Bike, Patrick, Christopher,chinemere,Goodluck, and others I can't remember ( you will get to Know them as the story progresses)and I have fell into temptation of either being a peidephile or commit serious crime with young girls when I say I was betrayed by life I knew what I was saying

as we were left alone in the room Jamal started kissing me he was all over me he gave me a deep kissing even to the extent of exchanging saliva we were on top of each other Jamal would hold my penis and I did same to him we he could not let me go he really wanted it that night
why we were kissing I saw a shadow of someone standing but could not see the person and the people could not see us this is possible bcs the room was extremely dark the person just came and left I could not make up if the person thought nobody was inside the room or he left by himself but I was sure the person didn't see what we were doing BCS even if you come inside the room you could not see anything unless you are an adult that can guess what one is doing with sense
we were kissing and smooching each other for long what we didn't do was to penetrate each other bcs i didn't know what gay was that time and have no knowledge that gay involved penetration and I could not say of Jamal bcs he never made attempt of such
we kiss for long and Jamal still demand more he was all over me
we stop when John was talking why carrying his food inside the room the good of it was that he was not even with touch or anything bcs he carried the food with his two hands ( he was carrying soup and eba with the two hands ) my brother alerted me that we should go that mummy will be waiting for us and won't allow us come out tomorrow if she come pick us with her self
I told Jamal and John that we are going which they pleaded we stay till they finished eating they later escort us home when they finish eating why going home my brother ask me were I was that time when everybody left the room he said he has been looking for me and Jamal he said he came to check me inside the room but everywhere was dark and he was afraid ( my brother was 9 years against my 12 or 13 years I senior a girl before him) I came to understand that he was the person I saw that was standing outside that time I was with inside the room kissing with Jamal then he said something I could not understand till today
he said he knew i was inside the room with Jamal but could not come in bcs he was afraid and moreover the room was too dark I told him I didn't see him moreover he didn't call my name

mind you I am not a gay but have been emotional wreck by many

what do you think about Jamal and do you think my brother understand what happened

I need comments

Home94:
what do you think about Jamal and do you think my brother understand what happened

I don't think your brother understood what happened.

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after that day Jamal would visit me every time and we would play and kiss at any given opportunity
the following year Jamal parents decided they fully come home and live ( this was possible bcs Jamal grandfather died that year) Jamal and John were now staying at home they would visit me and I would visit them The bond of friendship between Jamal John and I were much to the point that anybody that sees us would think we are brothers even our age mates started being jealous of our friendship I could hear them say Jamal why would you love him like this,why is he controlling you ,is he your father blabla this jealousy is possible bcs Jamal and John would not play ball,play or talk to anybody without me
actually I can't truly tell the sexuality of Jamal as of that time but something made me change my friendship with him
we do kiss at any giving chance I knew only Jamal and John in my life as this was going on one boy called Ari started making friends with us he would come to were we are playing and join us not knowing he had something in mind he later became our friends and we started doing things like brothers with him now it is only me, Jamal, John,my brother and Ari
Ari would something give me light that shows gay tendency but I would rebuffed it he behaves like a girl though I wasn't interested in his feminine look
I never tried doing any thing with him bcs I knew nothing about such exposure to such and have no gay tendency in me
one day he followed me to my house and my mother told me and my brother not to go out that day as we were in the room watching movie I saw his manhood erect but didn't say anything he came to me tried to kiss me or touch my penis I made an adjustment that made him know I wasn't ok with what he tried to do though how I did it would made it not look offending

Ari in my view is a carefree boy he comes back anytime he want and would go anywhere he want his mother left his father after giving birth to all his siblings he is the second child
one day with him again Ari started discussing about gay topics I asked him series of questions like how would a boy and a boy have sex ( I didn't know much about sex that time)what he was explaining was not understanding to me I asked him how possible he said boys through the anus girls through their vaginal I couldn't understand or have a clearer picture of what he was saying BCS I haven't done any of them he then told me a story of how he came back from school and met nobody at home he was very hungry one brother that live besides them called him inside ( there were living another place before they pack to my street)he gave him food bcs of this he always enter inside that brother house either for food or to watch movie one day why he was in his room the brother told him that he wanted to bath and he should wait for him when the brother came back he was stack naked inside the room with him the brother later had sex with him so from there on he can't resist a handsome looking boy or guy he told me some boys he had done it with since I didn't understand most of the things he said I didn't get mean with it
one day we were inside the room in Jamal house I noticed that Ari would always be around Jamal sometimes they would run and hide in an empty room in the name of play so that night John called us to come come to the sitting room BCS he was eating at the dinning I was gistting with John and Jamal suddenly Jamal move out of the room and a minutes later Ari also move out I couldn't go out bcs I don't want to leave John there and he wouldn't like it I stayed with John for about 20 minutes without seeing him I asked John where he is John said shebi no bey me and you dey here since go look for him for room as I went down to look for him in the room as I approach the room I heard some noise but the noise stop as Soon as they noticed someone coming I went there the room was filled with darkness I stood for some minutes to look for noise but the noise stopped I was sure that Jamal was inside the room with Ari I left after standing for a minute or two I went inside the sitting room and John asked me if I didn't see them I told him I didn't immediately I remembered what Ari told me the other day I knew he has done it with Jamal they appeared after some minutes I told them am going
within some months Jama motherl started instructing Jamal to stop associating with Ari ( Jamal parents are all teachers) from that day I started seeing Ari as a devil years later both Jamal and Ari told me that they saw me that night standing when I asked him about that night Jamal told me he was inside that room with Ari that night
after that year I took my junior waec and left to stay with my brother at Aba

what do you think of Jamal and Ari and what can you think of what happened that night between Jamal and Ari

i smell shit here how can u remember things that happen when u are 5years old i dont even know the i was 5years old

Home94:
what do you think of Jamal and Ari and what can you think of what happened that night between Jamal and Ari

they are gays

scofield114:
i smell shit here how can u remember things that happen when u are 5years old i dont even know the i was 5years old

I didn't remember much of what happened that time my story started when I was 8 years and in basic class event that that took place within this time gave a clearer view of what happened those days

scofield114:
they are gays

yes I might agree with you on Ari but as for Jamal I can't really be sure of him bcs he later involved in many scandal which I will mention later

who is ready

continu

Home94:
who is ready

We're waiting.

I traveled to Aba to go stay with my brother why at Aba my brother instructed not to go around within the street bcs I don't know much of the place the landlady of the house my brother live has 4 children 3 boys and 1 girl my brother would travel to outside work and live me in the house for like 2 days I would clean the house,cook and do other things by myself the last boy of my brothers landlady would assist me do other things the girl would sometimes give me a kind of look I don't understand she would enter inside our room but I will hasting up and come outside bcs I would not want her mother or brothers come back and see her inside the room we only sometimes hug and cuddle each other I really like her so much over my stay there I never have the chance to do anything with her bcs she was always marked her younger brother also was more than good to me he would assist me get food stuffs,help me cook, sweep and fetch water sometimes he brings garri and rice when my money and food stuffs finish before my brother would come back he always play with me him and his sister made me settled very well during my visit there they were the only reason I came back to Aba again but before I would come my brother had pack out there and relocate to another place I stayed there for two months and came back
when I came back I noticed a big change
Jamal room is now a hive of playground and Ari have really taking deep into Jamal or should I say both of them have gone deep that made me limit my visit to the there house
they only thing about Jamal is that he loves me unconditionally and that piss Ari off coupled with what happened before between me and Ari ( I didn't say this earlier on ) it happened before I traveled to Aba Ari came to my house and met me watching movie he started acting funny he would come close and start touching me I noticed that his penis have rising up I knew he wanted something from me he left and claim he wanted to buy something outside when he saw I wasn't interested in what he was doing let me make a confession about Ari I never like him beyond the way I do with Jamal and Ari do sometimes irritate me bcs of his feminine look and appearance the things I shared with Jamal is what I can't understand up till now to make matter worst Ari can not follow us and play ball when almost all the boys in our street are ballers that makes us to Nick name Ari a girl though the name was called in my language and dialet
one day when I came to Jamal house John burst me with the news of the year
you can't believe what happened yesterday he said to me and I answered tell me nah
he said he caught Ari with one boy doing homo ( homo was what we usually reffer and call it back then )I told him to tell me how it happened
he said last night when they waited for me and I didn't come their house ( I wasn't in their house that day ) and many boys was also around and inside their room when other boys went home living Ari and one boy so he was bored and he also left to stay with his daddy in the sitting room about 20 minutes later he decided to go check if they were still there to his greatest surprised he saw and they boy doing it he said Ari was on the ground and the boy was on top he saw the boy penis inside Ari's anus I was shocked he said when he show touch light both of them became static and could not move after that incident Ari stopped coming to Jamal house why traveled back to Aba again which I said earlier on

Home94:
I traveled to Aba to go stay with my brother why at Aba my brother instructed not to go around within the street bcs I don't know much of the place the landlady of the house my brother live has 4 children 3 boys and 1 girl my brother would travel to outside work and live me in the house for like 2 days I would clean the house,cook and do other things by myself the last boy of my brothers landlady would assist me do other things the girl would sometimes give me a kind of look I don't understand she would enter inside our room but I will hasting up and come outside bcs I would not want her mother or brothers come back and see her inside the room we only sometimes hug and cuddle each other I really like her so much over my stay there I never have the chance to do anything with her bcs she was always marked her younger brother also was more than good to me he would assist me get food stuffs,help me cook, sweep and fetch water sometimes he brings garri and rice when my money and food stuffs finish before my brother would come back he always play with me him and his sister made me settled very well during my visit there they were the only reason I came back to Aba again but before I would come my brother had pack out there and relocate to another place I stayed there for two months and came back
when I came back I noticed a big change
Jamal room is now a hive of playground and Ari have really taking deep into Jamal or should I say both of them have gone deep that made me limit my visit to the there house
they only thing about Jamal is that he loves me unconditionally and that piss Ari off coupled with what happened before between me and Ari ( I didn't say this earlier on ) it happened before I traveled to Aba Ari came to my house and met me watching movie he started acting funny he would come close and start touching me I noticed that his penis have rising up I knew he wanted something from me he left and claim he wanted to buy something outside when he saw I wasn't interested in what he was doing let me make a confession about Ari I never like him beyond the way I do with Jamal and Ari do sometimes irritate me bcs of his feminine look and appearance the things I shared with Jamal is what I can't understand up till now to make matter worst Ari can not follow us and play ball when almost all the boys in our street are ballers that makes us to Nick name Ari a girl though the name was called in my language and dialet
one day when I came to Jamal house John burst me with the news of the year
you can't believe what happened yesterday he said to me and I answered tell me nah
he said he caught Ari with one boy doing homo ( homo was what we usually reffer and call it back then )I told him to tell me how it happened
he said last night when they waited for me and I didn't come their house ( I wasn't in their house that day ) and many boys was also around and inside their room when other boys went home living Ari and one boy so he was bored and he also left to stay with his daddy in the sitting room about 20 minutes later he decided to go check if they were still there to his greatest surprised he saw and they boy doing it he said Ari was on the ground and the boy was on top he saw the boy penis inside Ari's anus I was shocked he said when he show touch light both of them became static and could not move after that incident Ari stopped coming to Jamal house why traveled back to Aba again which I said earlier on

We're following you.

I traveled back to Aba to stay with my brother but to my disappointment my brother has pack out were he was living before I stayed for a month and came back
i started advancing in age and class the following year I entered SSS1 after taking my junior waec it was in that class things started turning up for me life became a missery to me whenever I recall past event with Jamal,Ari and others I became tired more and more I started limiting the number of friends I keep because I never wanted to experience what I experience before with those that wreck me emotionally I became my best friend and never wanted to be with anyone there is this girl that live in our house she did everything to try seducing me in having sex with her but I wasn't interested it was a turn off for me I knew nothing about sex and anything related to the opposite sex only from the small and naive explanation of biology terms that related to female reproductive organs that I know
that same year Jamal was registered in a boarding school why I was in SS1

nothing happened much in my SS1 the following year my school did her interhouse sports were I participated in javelin,tug of war, hammer throw, football and relay race at the day of the inter house sports I came second and our house ( green house) took second too in the overall result after that event I change to another school bcs my father started struggling financially I was admitted to SS2 in my new school I met some few friends whom I would say help me really well the next I moved to SS3 I was devastated when my father told me that he won't be able to register me because he had no money I cried and cried but have to clean my tears the following year my father discuss with Jamal mother she was surprised that I didn't take my waec last year she agreed to help my father by telling him that I will be admitted to her school which is were I will take the exam ( she was transferred to another where she rise to the position of vice principal) she would carry me in her car to school and after school I will wait for her to go home the registration time came and my father manage to register me he wanted to register for only waec but I pressured him to register both waec and neco a special class was arranged for the SS3 students I was surprised to come to school and meet new faces that was not my classmate I was later told they were external students I met my shock even more during the exam when I saw almost three hundred students in the exam Hall I was later told also that our school is like a center were students come and pass their exam through sorting and expo they told us to come with 1000 for every paper the school was making huge profit ( the principal of the school was the head of all principals in the state I was staying) I might not be the most intelligent or brilliant but I was determined to pass on my own strength

Home94:
I traveled back to Aba to stay with my brother but to my disappointment my brother has pack out were he was living before I stayed for a month and came back
i started advancing in age and class the following year I entered SSS1 after taking my junior waec it was in that class things started turning up for me life became a missery to me whenever I recall past event with Jamal,Ari and others I became tired more and more I started limiting the number of friends I keep because I never wanted to experience what I experience before with those that wreck me emotionally I became my best friend and never wanted to be with anyone there is this girl that live in our house she did everything to try seducing me in having sex with her but I wasn't interested it was a turn off for me I knew nothing about sex and anything related to the opposite sex only from the small and naive explanation of biology terms that related to female reproductive organs that I know
that same year Jamal was registered in a boarding school why I was in SS1

So, you mean to say that it was at this stage you started to realize the meaning of all that have been happening with those 'kids' before now?

Home94:
nothing happened much in my SS1 the following year my school did her interhouse sports were I participated in javelin,tug of war, hammer throw, football and relay race at the day of the inter house sports I came second and our house ( green house) took second too in the overall result after that event I change to another school bcs my father started struggling financially I was admitted to SS2 in my new school I met some few friends whom I would say help me really well the next I moved to SS3 I was devastated when my father told me that he won't be able to register me because he had no money I cried and cried but have to clean my tears the following year my father discuss with Jamal mother she was surprised that I didn't take my waec last year she agreed to help my father by telling him that I will be admitted to her school which is were I will take the exam ( she was transferred to another where she rise to the position of vice principal) she would carry me in her car to school and after school I will wait for her to go home the registration time came and my father manage to register me he wanted to register for only waec but I pressured him to register both waec and neco a special class was arranged for the SS3 students I was surprised to come to school and meet new faces that was not my classmate I was later told they were external students I met my shock even more during the exam when I saw almost three hundred students in the exam Hall I was later told also that our school is like a center were students come and pass their exam through sorting and expo they told us to come with 1000 for every paper the school was making huge profit ( the principal of the school was the head of all principals in the state I was staying) I might not be the most intelligent or brilliant but I was determined to pass on my own strength

That was a good determination. I hope the determination yielded good outcome?

i betrayed myself,life betrayed me and those who were suppose to protect me betrayed me...God please dont forgive me for giving up on my dreams and please dont forgive the betrayals,their punishment should be from first generation to the end of their generation...AMEN

Akinloye11:
i betrayed myself,life betrayed me and those who were suppose to protect me betrayed me...God please dont forgive me for giving up on my dreams and please dont forgive the betrayals,their punishment should be from first generation to the end of their generation...AMEN

How can you ask God not to forgive you for betraying for yourself or those who betrayed you?

At least, you recognize there is God. That already is a good starting point.

Do you think God doesn't know about all these betrayals you highlighted but still kept you alive till now? If He has kept you alive till now, then He has a plan for you. So, don't be the one to conclude your life when the maker has not concluded with you yet.

You may think your story is the worst, but wait till you hear the stories of others.

Don't let circumstances of life make you conclude on your life whereas you are meant to move higher above the limiting circumstances.

God wants to forgive you and even the betrayals you talked of, but if you don't give Him the chance, I wonder how you want Him to do it.

Do you know God will forgive your betrayals once they acknowledge their faults and ask for His forgiveness?
See, you can't tell God who to forgive or who not to forgive. He owns every life and His nature is such that He forgives all who genuinely turn to Him in repentance for forgiveness.

If I were you, I will forget about those who betrayed you, and cling unto God to help you clean yourself up.

who is ready for an update

Home94:
who is ready for an update

I am. But it takes you a long time to update the story.