₦airaland Forum

SILVERLINES:
babe don't allow these evening news papers on nairaland to push you on the wrong direction. From what you posted up there I can note that the guy truly loves you and ready not to let you go, stick to him and love him more with these he may change. Others chics out there do envy you that's why they referred you as a witch, most time they approach your guy and other stuff to make sure they break up your relationship, I am a guy I know how ladies of these days behaves they have been waiting for you to step out of that guy so they can occupy the space, and never you let that happen. Moreover you leave the guy the truth is you may not find any other guy who doesn't cheat, we guys do flex no matter how holy or pretend we are.

If you genuinely love him don't let him go

Wicked advice! This is how you people justify evil. What type of nonsense love are you talking about? "Love" that has no respect for her & for their relationship! You want her to settle for someone who has no self-control? A man who is already sleeping with multiple women before marriage? Let me tell you if she leaves him, she will find someone else who is a thousand times better than him... and she would be very glad that she did.

@op, if you want to die before your time, go ahead with that marriage. You will be worthless to him, he will never respect you anymore...he will sleep with your maid, with your sisters, with your friends, and any female that is close to you...and there's nothing you can do about it!
WHY? Because you accepted this nonsense from the beginning... by going ahead with the marriage!

Thank God you have not married him & you've not even done engagement! LEAVE HIM NOW & focus on your life. Don't go into any relationship immediately, just focus on improving yourself, getting a job or starting a business...adding value to your life. If he continues to threaten you, report the matter to the police!
If you go ahead with the marriage...Let me just tell you SORRY in advance, because you will NEVER be happy in that marriage.

And u should think before u type rubbish. It goes both ways

Oluromantic:
I don't expect you to understand neither do I expect any better quote from you. You shd ignore what doesn't appeal to you next time

Hammyaladin:
babe not all men support his actions. what he did was juvenile and disgraceful!! Saying that 95% of men enjoy cheating is a bug fat lie spread by people without purpose and priorities.. I really feel sad for the lady because it is obvious from the post that she depends on him for food, etc.

She should man up and leave that Man before he gives her a life time disease !!!!

#NotallMenareHEGOATS

I agree with you on this and I apologize for generalizing

eMJPossibility:
Absolutely amazing depression is not far from you continue dumping-dumping at the end of the day you get the results


What the guy in question did not cool
If 95 percent cheat then the remaining 5 not fit
Because majority carry the vote
Call me to order
If I'm making sense
Thank you

AlphamaleTech1:
Almost all men cheat but this one matter get as he be. Am not sure u are 100% safe if u go ahead to settle down with him.

* He will someday raise his filthy hands to give u d beatings of your life and later apologize

* That kind of guy who sleeps around ain't far from giving u STD's even HIV/AIDS. (U don chop am be dat)

* Might get to a stage he will stop sleeping at home and care less about your well being.

He loves cheating naturally but him village people add oil join am.

What more can I say


Just run!!!!!

This it opinion does not correspond with ur nomenclature. Anyways, you may want to be rational

Michelle55:
Let me sit and learn.. I'm tired of relationship brouhaha, I'm taking a break myself and I suggest you do too. Love yourself and take some time off, if after all the self evaluation you still want him despite what he has done then it's your choice. No one here knows him better than you do, know your worth and stick to it.

Hmmm

There is always a possibility that u cheat or get cheated on in any romantic relationship. A woman Marrys a man hoping he will change but he doesn't, while a man marrys a woman hoping she will not change but she does. This is just the reality and fact of life. it takes only the grace of God to find a Godly man or Godly woman who will shun cheating in relationship or marriage.

awulio:
And u should think before u type rubbish. It goes both ways

Lol mumu

Lol I’m sure u looking at ur mother while saying that because it’s definitely not directed to me...

Oluromantic:
Lol mumu

They shouldn't force you to marry him, if he's threatening you, you have to report him to the police authorities now.

eMJPossibility:
Absolutely amazing depression is not far from you continue dumping-dumping at the end of the day you get the results


What the guy in question did not cool
If 95 percent cheat then the remaining 5 not fit
Because majority carry the vote




Call me to order
If I'm making sense
Thank you

You think I have time for childish males now?


I dont&can't just date anyone. I look before I leap


I don't even understand the last sentence.

AdesewaAde:
So recently, I’ve been having this feeling that my fiancé is a cheat, I’m not a type of woman who do choke my partner or check his phones cause I respect his privacy, even though he has always been checking my phone, going through my social media accounts and all other things, sometimes he will use my fingers to unlock my phone while sleeping just to go through it.

We’ve been dating since 2018, we became best of friends and our families are cool together, he is caring and jovial, he doesn’t hide things from me most especially financial issues, our social lives are almost the same, in short we are good together. We planned to do our engagement last year December but due to the way things were last year we postponed it and decided to pick another date, though I now spend half of my days at his place.

Fast forward to January this year, I started seeing some red signs that he is a cheat, many times I took his phone to unlock and go through since I know his passwords but I will drop it again cause there is no way I will check his phone without seeing things that will tamper with my peace of mind, since then, I’ve decided to open my eyes and ears more wider.

Later on , I discovered that anytime I am around, his phones were always on airplane mode, he only works on system, my heart started asking me different questions but I kept calm and I continued with my quest to catch him red handed, though I confronted him that he is cheating but he laughed at me and said 95% of men do cheat but he is among the remaining 5% that doesn’t.

Last month, we both decided to go on vacation, it was then I saw that I was actually in a relationship with a dog like person. There was a particular number that kept calling him, maybe he forgot to put the phone on airplane mode, at first I overlooked it but the number kept on calling about 59 times, it was then that I decided to pick it up and I heard a female voice, she said “you asshole, so you decided not to pick my calls because she is around, come online, I left you a message there” my heart skipped, who was she referring to as “she”? It was then I decided to unlock his phone for the first time and I just wish I didn’t do that, my eyes were heavy with tears as I was reading all sorts of conversations between him and different girls, not one, not two, not three, about ten of them, some even sent him nude pictures, he already bleeped some, some are still under format, two of them are new preys. I cried, many of them even know me, one even referred to me as his witch, I wept bitterly, I was on this weeping when he entered the room and saw me crying, all he could say was that how will I touch his phone in the first place.

He later apologised, after the much argument, I started parking my things to come back to out state, I told him I am done with the relationship, he started laughing at me and started shouting at the top of his voice “ babe you must be crazy, you are definitely out of your mind, how on earth must you think you can leave the relationship that I summoned up so much courage to ask you out? Listen woman, even if I cheat everyday, I can’t leave you, the truth is I will always cheat, I will apologise if been caught but I can’t ever place any woman above you,vI met our pastor in the hotel with another babe the last time I went to hotel for quickie with one chick, if pastors do cheat, who am I not to. At least you have the key to everything I have, if my parents can’t reach me, they will deliver the message to you, are you hungry? Are you looking rough? Do you want sex and I denied you? So what else should be your problem with me cheating “

I was short of words, he wasn’t even remorseful, I left there angrily and he kept calling, later he called his parents to explain the issues to them and they called me and pleaded, to make the situation worse his mom also said all men cheat. He has been threatening me that he won’t allow me to marry any other person, guys I’m really confused, please what can I do now, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t have taste.

Simply go to court and obtain a restraining order against him. Matter settled. Then leave him to fume against the law courts. Why prolong matter?

dairykidd:
I know its hard especially if ur the loyal type but just forgive and forget pls.. even when we meet that one woman that completes us it takes God's grace not to wander once in a while... He's been caught now u have the upper hand. Forgive this time but let him know u will not take it again if ever he cheats on u. No man be 100%. The next guy could be worse off..

You didn't read were her boyfriend stated categorically that he'll still cheat on her and wen he Is caught he'll simply apologise. That guy dey cheat with pride ooh! repeated offenders u give dem space.

Apreecauts:
Lol, immediately I finished reading OP's story, I already knew how the comment section would be. To anyone here trying to defend the fiance even in the slightest bit, shame on you. If it were to be a girl telling her bf "all girls cheat so you just have to deal with it", I'm very sure everyone single person here would rain insults and curses on her but because it's a guy, everyone wants to turn a blind eye smh. Anyways, I'm not even surprised, why would they condemn him, when they all act in the same manner.

To the OP, my advice for you is to record any threatening messages or words he says to you and take it to the police now, rather than waiting for him to fulfill his threats. You also have to call off the engagement, though it would be painful. Please do not listen to what his parents have to tell you, there might be some people who don't mind being with a cheating husband but if you know you're not one of them, please leave him unless you want to have an unhappy marriage. Have you even considered that fact that you are likely to contact any STDs he might have.

Well, that's the advice I have to give you, take it if you like.

Best candid comment here!!

our society show little or no concern to cheating men. No wonder some women took it upon themselves to poison or stabs their husband when caught in the act... it will be so devastating going back into that relationship in the name of love, a leech will continuing be a leech and it changes nothing...

shakeup yourself, pack out of his filthy house and look else where.. he is just a wrong connection to your life.. Take a bold step and don't let wrong commenters here make you stray...

O.p I nor fit tell u weda to live your boyfriend or not ooh na u wear the shoe. But note if you cant cope with this while you guys are dating, u go fit cope wen una marry? Na only you wan fit answer am sincerely.

AdesewaAde:
So recently, I’ve been having this feeling that my fiancé is a cheat, I’m not a type of woman who do choke my partner or check his phones cause I respect his privacy, even though he has always been checking my phone, going through my social media accounts and all other things, sometimes he will use my fingers to unlock my phone while sleeping just to go through it.

We’ve been dating since 2018, we became best of friends and our families are cool together, he is caring and jovial, he doesn’t hide things from me most especially financial issues, our social lives are almost the same, in short we are good together. We planned to do our engagement last year December but due to the way things were last year we postponed it and decided to pick another date, though I now spend half of my days at his place.

Fast forward to January this year, I started seeing some red signs that he is a cheat, many times I took his phone to unlock and go through since I know his passwords but I will drop it again cause there is no way I will check his phone without seeing things that will tamper with my peace of mind, since then, I’ve decided to open my eyes and ears more wider.

Later on , I discovered that anytime I am around, his phones were always on airplane mode, he only works on system, my heart started asking me different questions but I kept calm and I continued with my quest to catch him red handed, though I confronted him that he is cheating but he laughed at me and said 95% of men do cheat but he is among the remaining 5% that doesn’t.

Last month, we both decided to go on vacation, it was then I saw that I was actually in a relationship with a dog like person. There was a particular number that kept calling him, maybe he forgot to put the phone on airplane mode, at first I overlooked it but the number kept on calling about 59 times, it was then that I decided to pick it up and I heard a female voice, she said “you asshole, so you decided not to pick my calls because she is around, come online, I left you a message there” my heart skipped, who was she referring to as “she”? It was then I decided to unlock his phone for the first time and I just wish I didn’t do that, my eyes were heavy with tears as I was reading all sorts of conversations between him and different girls, not one, not two, not three, about ten of them, some even sent him nude pictures, he already bleeped some, some are still under format, two of them are new preys. I cried, many of them even know me, one even referred to me as his witch, I wept bitterly, I was on this weeping when he entered the room and saw me crying, all he could say was that how will I touch his phone in the first place.

He later apologised, after the much argument, I started parking my things to come back to out state, I told him I am done with the relationship, he started laughing at me and started shouting at the top of his voice “ babe you must be crazy, you are definitely out of your mind, how on earth must you think you can leave the relationship that I summoned up so much courage to ask you out? Listen woman, even if I cheat everyday, I can’t leave you, the truth is I will always cheat, I will apologise if been caught but I can’t ever place any woman above you,vI met our pastor in the hotel with another babe the last time I went to hotel for quickie with one chick, if pastors do cheat, who am I not to. At least you have the key to everything I have, if my parents can’t reach me, they will deliver the message to you, are you hungry? Are you looking rough? Do you want sex and I denied you? So what else should be your problem with me cheating “

I was short of words, he wasn’t even remorseful, I left there angrily and he kept calling, later he called his parents to explain the issues to them and they called me and pleaded, to make the situation worse his mom also said all men cheat. He has been threatening me that he won’t allow me to marry any other person, guys I’m really confused, please what can I do now, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t have taste.

He said he won't allow you to marry another person?

My sister, that is one threat you should never take lightly.

Get an audio or text of him threatening you, and show it to the police.

He would be forced to write an undertaking that nothing must happen to you.

He is a cheat, and dirty one too. He wants to cheat, but can't stand you cheating. That is the definition of SELFISHNESS.

As soon as you have got your assurance from the police, dump his ASS.

You deserve better.

Michelle55:
Let me sit and learn.. I'm tired of relationship brouhaha, I'm taking a break myself and I suggest you do too. Love yourself and take some time off, if after all the self evaluation you still want him despite what he has done then it's your choice. No one here knows him better than you do, know your worth and stick to it.

if u like abstain from dating for a long time, when u com back they'll still break ur heart!

SarutobiEky:
At least he's honest. Most of y'all women cheat and lie all the time. You'd better stick with that honest, god-fearing man if you know what's good for you. At least he places you above the rest. That should comfort you. There's no guarantee your next wouldn't turn out a worse devil

e


Do I hear you say honest, and God fearing man. well that's the picture devil paint this days.. it makes people like you deceive people and boldly paint the unrepentant and filthy being righteous... what is honest and God fearing abt his act..

DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT MARRY HIM .LIFE WILL BE HELL FOR YOU LIKE MINE RIGHT NOW RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN

Oluromantic:
Hmmm I'm afraid I have both of you to blame. I do not support what he did but you too are just beginning to understand the life of a man. Most men do it but your man was wrong in that he didn't place you high enough over others. You are probably one of the kind of women who get deeply pained over cheating. For you at this level of getting close to marriage and still have the inkling that there's no tendency for him to cheat is being unrealistic. I'm not saying he has d right to cheat but for a woman who's ready to stay in marriage, you shd have learnt before now to take your mind off his cheating tendency. I guess that wasn't included in your upbringing or self training. That's what your mom-in-law was trying to figure out for you..like a woman who wants to last in husband house must close her eyes off her husband's cheating tendency blabla.

For him not to groom you from the onset that he's a free man sexually so as to prepare your mind for what you're coming into is also wrong. For him to tell his side chicks that you're in his life is good, it shows he values you despite their sexual service...some men will deny their wives. But for them to call you names like witch and he's comfortable with it is wrong. Strangely, there are some ladies who even work out chicks for their fiance when they're not around. But it's d man who shd be careful not to misbehave.


This is true for many men. They'll see other girls they like but won't place them above you.

But from your description of him, he seem not to care about your respect. When some men will frown at side chicks for abusing their wives both in her presence and absence, he was too flexible that they have no regard for you. Then also, you need to ignore the number of girls you saw on his phone, it's not always like that. Before a man gets a girl to sleep with, he has to toast about 3-5 before one succumbs, shakara won't let others. So it doesn't mean he's sleeping with 10 girls at the moment.

You can advise for Africa

investorMK:
if u like abstain from dating for a long time, when u com back they'll still break ur heart!

Enemy of progress.. My God pass you

Mrscarter:
Exactly. I dont think ppl(male or female) realise how much hurt cheating can cause wen u love someone n put into them all ur hopes n dreams aswell as ur heart.

Sure
Hurting someone that gave you all his or her heart and self is an unforgivable sin. It always comes with repercussion

When someone has given you there all, the wise thing to do is to give your all more in return

And people that do that always end in regret, because once they loose that person that gave them special love
They may never come across sich opportunity again in there lifetime. They will only be meeting scorpions and cobras which will bring misery upon misery and regrets

Cheating on a loved one is a despicable evil and only those that don't value life do that

From this your story, you getting married to a rich OGee wire... You knew he will attract ladies because he's a spender.. If you don't like him that way then leave or you endure and enjoy it forever

AdesewaAde:
So recently, I’ve been having this feeling that my fiancé is a cheat, I’m not a type of woman who do choke my partner or check his phones cause I respect his privacy, even though he has always been checking my phone, going through my social media accounts and all other things, sometimes he will use my fingers to unlock my phone while sleeping just to go through it.

We’ve been dating since 2018, we became best of friends and our families are cool together, he is caring and jovial, he doesn’t hide things from me most especially financial issues, our social lives are almost the same, in short we are good together. We planned to do our engagement last year December but due to the way things were last year we postponed it and decided to pick another date, though I now spend half of my days at his place.

Fast forward to January this year, I started seeing some red signs that he is a cheat, many times I took his phone to unlock and go through since I know his passwords but I will drop it again cause there is no way I will check his phone without seeing things that will tamper with my peace of mind, since then, I’ve decided to open my eyes and ears more wider.

Later on , I discovered that anytime I am around, his phones were always on airplane mode, he only works on system, my heart started asking me different questions but I kept calm and I continued with my quest to catch him red handed, though I confronted him that he is cheating but he laughed at me and said 95% of men do cheat but he is among the remaining 5% that doesn’t.

Last month, we both decided to go on vacation, it was then I saw that I was actually in a relationship with a dog like person. There was a particular number that kept calling him, maybe he forgot to put the phone on airplane mode, at first I overlooked it but the number kept on calling about 59 times, it was then that I decided to pick it up and I heard a female voice, she said “you asshole, so you decided not to pick my calls because she is around, come online, I left you a message there” my heart skipped, who was she referring to as “she”? It was then I decided to unlock his phone for the first time and I just wish I didn’t do that, my eyes were heavy with tears as I was reading all sorts of conversations between him and different girls, not one, not two, not three, about ten of them, some even sent him nude pictures, he already bleeped some, some are still under format, two of them are new preys. I cried, many of them even know me, one even referred to me as his witch, I wept bitterly, I was on this weeping when he entered the room and saw me crying, all he could say was that how will I touch his phone in the first place.

He later apologised, after the much argument, I started parking my things to come back to out state, I told him I am done with the relationship, he started laughing at me and started shouting at the top of his voice “ babe you must be crazy, you are definitely out of your mind, how on earth must you think you can leave the relationship that I summoned up so much courage to ask you out? Listen woman, even if I cheat everyday, I can’t leave you, the truth is I will always cheat, I will apologise if been caught but I can’t ever place any woman above you,vI met our pastor in the hotel with another babe the last time I went to hotel for quickie with one chick, if pastors do cheat, who am I not to. At least you have the key to everything I have, if my parents can’t reach me, they will deliver the message to you, are you hungry? Are you looking rough? Do you want sex and I denied you? So what else should be your problem with me cheating “

I was short of words, he wasn’t even remorseful, I left there angrily and he kept calling, later he called his parents to explain the issues to them and they called me and pleaded, to make the situation worse his mom also said all men cheat. He has been threatening me that he won’t allow me to marry any other person, guys I’m really confused, please what can I do now, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t have taste.

Hummmm

May God help me

Noblewealth:
e


Do I hear you say honest, and God fearing man. well that's the picture devil paint this days.. it makes people like you deceive people and boldly paint the unrepentant and filthy being righteous... what is honest and God fearing abt his act..

God fearing because he was upfront. Honest because he wasn't lying about it. Put a woe-man in his place and watch how it plays out. She'd even play the victim, accuse him of not showing care, paying attention and all that bull crap. Woeman are very manipulative, they'll make you feel like you're at fault. The man owned his shit, I respect him for that. Yes, he's God fearing.

tunize:
You didn't read were her boyfriend stated categorically that he'll still cheat on her and wen he Is caught he'll simply apologise. That guy dey cheat with pride ooh! repeated offenders u give dem space.

Lol.. that one come taya me for the guy matter oo

What do you mean "yet won't let you go?"
Does he own you? My advice is for you to leave. The thought of the one you love being with another hurts too much.

dairykidd:
I know its hard especially if ur the loyal type but just forgive and forget pls.. even when we meet that one woman that completes us it takes God's grace not to wander once in a while... He's been caught now u have the upper hand. Forgive this time but let him know u will not take it again if ever he cheats on u. No man be 100%. The next guy could be worse off..

No, the next guy would be better off.

The guy isn't remorseful about his cheating, making it seem like it's his right and yet he would want her to be faithful to him. Someone like that is a narcissist and she should run from him.

Sixfeetbelle:
No, the next guy would be better off.

The guy isn't remorseful about his cheating, making it seem like it's his right and yet he would want her to be faithful to him. Someone like that is a narcissist and she should run from him.

Yea for the fact he isn't remorseful tells a whole lot tho.. I wonder how i skipped that earlier. He might probably do worse like we see in nollywood... maybe bring them home and demand some space.

AdesewaAde:
Hummmm

May God help me

See if u have to move ahead do so before him use sweet words and gifts change ur mind. I overlooked where he was even sounding like its his right. Truth is, that guy go deal with u if u eventually marry him. My first post was for other cheating men who may change or adjust because they can't afford to loose a good woman nor be who dey cheat with pride oo.. I have unmarried females in my family na wetin i fit tell them i dey tell u... Japa!!!

If cheating is a deal breaker for you
My dear
Walk away.
'If because it's not a deal breaker for many.
He is even taking permission ahead for the many more to come It's still very early. Better a broken relationship than a broken marriage where vow is now involved.

I can't stand a cheat.
Never lasted with one( that means I saw plenty but i kept runing) and will never be with one.

This is my covenant with God o..
I don't look to the world for validation.