₦airaland Forum

karamo is flat, you've not developed him yet,

up the action, let that guy wake up from sleep and go to school or somewhere!

[quote author=mabebe1
]I c u gal-Update na[/quote]i never even start writing sef, cut me some slack na madam

[quote author=frank3.16]Helloe princess, why do I have a feeling that u
desribe urself when u talk about daisy positive side.


Now I think brends was too disrespectul to jide, it is not her fight and
she is only here to help. U see it wasn't natural for jide whom I have
seen the way he talked to his father to just ignore brenda and leave the
house. His leaving the house silently wasn't a problem, but brends
would have just tried to be in the bakground, since they were meeting
for d first time in his house, then later scold daisy for acting scared.
Brends real bichy self could actually come out if she sees jide being
overtly rude to her friend.

But I tink I like daisy, she's my kind of girl[/quote]about the positive side of Daisy been me, i have no idea about that


well, Jide probably wasn't in the mood to reply Brenda, considering the fact that he was just meeting her for the first time and was also on his way out, besides with his win daisy 'campaign' coming along, i don't think shouting at Daisy friend would aid him one bit...

another thing, is that while Jide was meeting Brenda for the first time, Brenda wasn't meeting him for the first time, she knew about him even when he existed at the fantasy stage, and her impression of him has not been that rosy to deserve kind treatment...

that girl too is naturally sassy and cheeky, remember mama referred to her as 'agaracha ibo'...

agaracha in ibo means a lady who is always showing herself and acting up... something like that...

Brenda is the opposite of Daisy but she isnt bad, she's a girl with feelings, portrayed by the way she treats Daisy......


everyone wanted Brenda back and now that she is, she becomes a meddling disrespectful chick. phew! nigerians

[quote author=Charmin'] i wanted to wait till the
story ends before i comment. Lol. You must have caught me so many times on this thread. Well done Princesa. I love the story line.[/quote]so many times indeed. you happen to be among the first to read my updates, and you've been there since the onset, so i thought i deserved a comment or two.

thanks for obliging, am grateful and happy, now you can go back to your ghost mode


#small small i do dey catch all them chop and clean mouth dem#

Ms Spaqs: Princessa plsssssssss try n update on time,d story is very refreshing.Gud Job

thanks for reading, but updates take hours to write oh......

luvmijeje: Are you trying to say Jide was ruthless coz if u were,u never protrayed
him that way. Grace was also a victim or was she not? Well in case if u
want to publish or something I will urge to work on that angle.

nah, it was just my personal observation

but am still mad at Grace for sticking to something that's destined to fail. she made herself a victim to the way she is being treated.



inbetween, i hope the hidden post wasn't a brawl or something

ITbomb: We create our own legacy dear , the children and grandchildren will need to create theirs.
I am not leaving anything to the children , all my properties will be willed to charity and Nkechi

you must be a wicked father then, oh my poor babies, mummy will make enough money for you all okay




inbetween, should i say welcome back or is this like a testing the floor kind of thing

Now rap, being busy that i couldn't go back to the thread to peruse your story again. Well, let me start by saying that you and that red mosquito guy write the same, and the review i gave to him also kind of applies to you.

Your intro was ok, you sounded nice with the way you referred to the light ray or something casting on the sleeping form of Lucan, but then it started nose diving oh......

What's with the sexual hints here and there about Lucan and That model girl, biko, it was fun while it lasted, lets move on......

Then the Nyanya body allusion didn't really fuse in with the narration, it made it sound award, like it was a child play or something

Well, your piece didn't have any spectacular action or plot development, your abrupt end worsen it, you could have atleast take us your readers to the main action that would happen when they met with Madam K. Who are you expecting to continue for you

then offcourse the paragraph issue stares still at us, better throw away that your phone and upgrade ok.....

i give you an average rating.

#going to see what more you have for us#

Br3nd4: my dear. . I cant xplain o. . I think it was one corper but im not
sure. . There was an alhaji at the time. That too i aint sure of

is that the legacy you will leave for your grandchildren

repogirl: Thanks P, I appreciate and yeah, its actually a dog name, thot it would be funny.

its funny and fits the fifi girl perfectly

repogirl: In my usual 'ta si' manner, lemme say that in
accordance with LVMJJ, I thought Jide was rude and mean to Grace, this
was someone whom he'd had a relationship with, except he'd not really
liked her.
He shouldn't have talked to her that way, especially as he broke her
heart suddenly like that.

It was really mean and added to my dislike of him, he has got to earn my
own love too o princessa, before I can forgive him for all he's done to Daisy.

he's a guy na, that's what they do best......playing with girls heart. but then grace has a blame to share too, why would she cling to a man whose wedding she attended. what kind of hope is that

thanks Stephen, i appreciate.

Brenda, you and ur teamJide

this happen to be one of the best chapter i have read, i didn't see any typo, am sure you did a big time editing in this update, the narrative was flawless and held me spell bound.

this is the Frank i read, who contributed in the Lucan story

welldone dear

loved the drama with that fifi girl, is that a name of a Dog or something
girls and forming sha...

please continue na, am loving the story and the way you write.

luvmijeje: Princessa well done. Just be a little bit careful in
ur protrayal of Brenda in negative light except if that is what you want
to achieve.
There was a reason why Jide was being so rude to Daisy but why is he being so rude to his ex-gf?
And I have to agree with those who pointed out the likeness and
dislikeness Jide has for his wife and gf respectively was too sudden. Fine,you don't have to explain everything but that is one important area that diffrentiate a good writer from a very writer.

thanks for your observation, and i don't set out to paint Brenda as a bad chick, but as have been previously noted by Daisy and the conversation they've had, i think i was able to reflect the fact that Brenda is cheeky girl and as Daisy portrayed her to be sometimes bitchty so that was a tip of her characteristics she displayed.

but in this chapter, i was careful to describe her from Jide's perspective, all that painting was done through his own assessment. the only probable description was the apparel she adorned.

Brenda on her part reacted to Jide based on all her impression of him through the way he treated her friend and what Daisy told her about him, that doesn't mean she didn't see Jide as hot, because he is though his attitude.

okay about the Grace issue, i guess i still have more work to do in drawing reasons why she was jilted by Jide... but i don't think he was rude to her.

thanks and keep the criticism coming...

lovely
tell kite to teach me how to dance like that...
and when would that princesa character come in?

Br3nd4: Im worst!!

badt girl

Tovot darling, you've said with ur actions

Brenda...i hope you ain't sassy as ur name sake

anonimus...thanks, wished you joined the train earlier.

ekaromail...am yet to check my mail, being busy on this story......


thank you all for your comments and like, but pls don't stop the flow of it.

#charmin, drop a comment na#

Brenda obliged. And both giggling like teenagers, they made for the hallway to go explore other parts of the house.

Brenda was affected by the resilience of her friend, little things hardly weighed her down for long, she always managed to bounce back to her cheerful self. She felt a strong urge to protect her against Jide who obviously didn't appreciate the wonderful woman that was his wife. Well, it was only day two of her arrival, Daisy still had a long way to go, and she still had rules to teach on how she would successfully subdue and stand up against her husband. Today, they'd just made do with catching up on old times.
Handsome, irritating Jide, would occupy the back space.
********


end of chapter 10

'welcome to my solitary, suffocating and...' Daisy was saying cheerfully as they entered the parlor. She stopped when she saw Jide standing in the
center of the parlour, his expression unreadable.

Everything seem frozen in time as each party studied the other.

'so he's the mother f.ucking hunk, that's been tripping ain't so?'
Brenda said melting the silence.

'uhm...Bree, that's...' Daisy started her nervous stutterring. She
hadn't expected him home again today!

'Don't trip girl, i know who this dude is' Brenda cut in waving her hand carelessly. Then she strutted to a settee, slowly sat down and crossed her legs, putting all the flamboyant effort she could in the
action.

Jide eyes travelled from his immobile wife to the sassy stranger seating in his parlour. She was dark complexioned contrasting Daisy light skin,
slim shaped, should be about Daisy's height and age. She was on dreadlock and wore a black fitted top on a black trouser, matching the combination with red dangling earrings and red high stilleto that climbed up to forever. Jide was sure she was also pretty behind that big black shades that adorned her face.

She reminded him of rich pampered and independent girls in Nigeria he hated and never ever dated. she also looked like those black American girls he watched in American movies, they had this sassy, bitchty, condescending and disrespectful attitude towards people. He feared that
this rude human was actually a friend of Daisy's.

If she had been the one forced on him, he could bet his a.rse that they wouldn't have lasted a week much less months, it was either he sent her packing or she sent him packing. Things couldn't get any worse, just when he had decided to start working towards...

Brenda coughed noisily, the silence in the room was getting unbearable and irritable. What was wrong with Daisy by the way? standing there like some nailed statue, making no move whatsoever. Was this how she reacted to this a.rse hole of a man. Brenda wondered angrily.

'really Dee, get me something to eat or drink, and stop standing there like some goddam idi.ot' Brenda said angrily, removing her eye shades.

'sorry' Daisy said softly and smiled at no one. What indeed was wrong with her? She thought angrily and sat down.

Jide looked towards Brenda again, as he had suspected, she was pretty, like the black American girls he so loathed. She was frantically eyeing him now.

'your friend hunh?' Jide asked the thin air and started walking away. No wonder Daisy had been acting up this few days, now he knew where she drew her power from. she cared no more about him, what an influence to align with! He thought shaking his head.

'remind me to hate that girl' he said to himself, minutes later as he drove out of the compound.

Back in the parlor, Daisy eyes glance fixedly at the black-blue tiled floor, she felt Brenda's annoyed gaze bore into her skin, but said nothing.

'Daisy what went wrong back there? Brenda finally spoke up, rage in her tone.

The mortified Daisy refused to look up at her friend who would be really
cross with her right now.

'Is that how you behave in front of him?' Brenda further asked.

'I didn't know he was around okay' she defended.

'duh, the dude lives here so why wont he...'

'He's always never around, that got me off balance' Daisy cut in.

'you shouldn't be for any reason, he might be hot and all, but he ain't a
gentle man and don't need soft...'

Daisy sighed. 'Can we drop the subject...please' Daisy said softly.


Brenda sighed resignedly, her anger dissipating. Daisy wasn't your regular bold and daring girl, her wiry attitude hasn't fully rubbed off on her, much as she would have loved it. Besides she could see how deeply her friend loved this man, if his presence only, could affect her like this.

'He's hot quit okay...' she said on a lighter note '...but he ain't been to Madam Teresa's school for the well behaved gentlemen'

Daisy smiled and looked up at her friend who was also smiling. It was a private joke they shared. Any man who acted rudely to them, they concluded, hadn't gone to that school where he would have been trained otherwise. But then the school was non existent, they formulated it.

'No he ain't been to one, and they got none in Nigeria too' Daisy added cheerfully.

'obviously girlfriend' Brenda called out, snapping her fingers with each syllable she said.

'come let me show you around, then we'd go prepare something to eat' Daisy said standing up and pulling her friend with her.

ekaromail: Babe, this is short o! make us happy na. pls check
your email, I sent the different cover designs to your email early this morning.

i have added to the post, go back to page 14. but am still updating.

thanks for the cover, i will check my mail after am tru here...

morning Jeff

*****
Jide rolled severally on his bed, only waking up abruptly when he
realised that he was on the verge of falling off, he had been having a wonderful dream.

With an angry sigh he sat up his eyes traveling to the clock, the time was 8:20, Sunday morning.

Jide got up immediately, that his plan of going to church with Daisy for the first time after their wedding, was almost ruined. How had he slept off so st.upidly? He wondered angrily.

Few seconds later, he was standing in the parlour, even though it was looking better than he left it yesterday, it felt empty. His food laid covered on the dining but there was no sign of Daisy.

He went back to the hallway and stood in front of Daisy's room hoping to hear movements or sounds.

Nothing.

Hesitantly, he turned the door knob, but it was locked. Immediately, Jide dashed out and soon he was walking towards Adamu.

Adamu was sweeping and singing an hausa song when he noticed Jide walking towards him. He stood upright and stopped singing.

'Goodmorning Oga' Adamu greeted, genuflecting in the process.

'morning' Jide answered impatiently 'have you seen Daisy?' he asked.

'Daisy...' Adamu said scratching his head, he momentarily forgot who
bore that name. Then it hit him '...oh! Madam!'.

Jide sighed, irritated.

'so?' he asked impatiently.

'yes, madam don commot' Adamu replied smiling sheepishly.

'To where?'

'Church oga' replied Adamu.

'Did she specifically tell you that'

'specifically...'

Jide hissed again at the dunce of a man.

'she tell you say na there she dey go?' he interpreted.

'She being dress fine and since today na Sunday so i...'

'That's ok' Jide cut in and walked away. He didn't have time to banter with the old man, given the chance, he would go on and on about things that weren't his business. As for Daisy, she was gonna hear from him when she came back.

**********
'Hello' Jide said, the phone hanging between his chin and shoulder while he busied with his shoe lace. He had finally decided to go out, he had waited in vain for Daisy to return but now, the house felt empty and suffocating. The time was threatening to hit 1pm soon.

'Jide love...' the voice at the other end was saying.

'Grace?' he interrupted puzzled.

Jide halted the fumbling with his shoe lace to peer at the phone screen. The number had no name.

'Jide darling why are you treating me this way' came the response of the bereaved woman.

'what's with this joke' he asked frowning and went back to his lace tieing.

'its no joke Jide, why are you refusing to pick my call?' Grace asked.

Jide sighed and stood up, his shoes now firmly tied. He wasn't in the mood for Grace's nagging.

'thought we ended this days ago' he said walking to the dining.

'am sorry if i angered you then, but lets talk about this okay?' she
begged.

'really Grace, i told you from the onset not to expect the more, i am a married man and...'

'please don't give me that shit! But i thought, no! knew we shared something deep and lasting, when did we finally lose it?' whined Grace.

'I really don't have time for this, why don't you understand that it was fun while it lasted, now i want to concentrate on making my marriage
work'. He said resignedly.

Jide didn't enjoy treating Grace this way, however she nolonger excited him, she was the one pushing herself on him, and he wish she didn't, she was the one to get hurt at the end. Grace was pretty alright and a good bedmate too, but he had problem with her inability to cook well like Daisy and she was bad at nagging. These were the little fault he had
capitalized on to end their illicit relationship few days ago. It was as if she had had it coming. He shook his head, it was better they both forgot eachother and moved on.

'Jide! Jide! Are you even listening to me?' Grace cried, Jide had not
responded to any of her last questions.

Jide had been standing by the dining lost in thought when Grace's voice jolted him.

'am going out, got no time...'
he resumed.

'Great, come over lets discuss, i cooked today and guess what would follow...' Grace cajoled.

But Jide wasn't paying attention again, noises coming from outside were distracting him now.

'Let me call you back' he said quickly and cut the call without a response from her.

Quickly, he tucked the phone in his pocket and made for the door.

******
'Nice crib hunh' Brenda said coming out of the passenger seat of her car. Her American accent more developed than Daisy's.

Daisy came out of the driver seat, she had decided to drive them back. Having long itched to ride a car again.

'something to write home about' Brenda continued, her eyes sweeping round the compound.

Adamu was still standing at the gate staring foolishly at the two ladies.

'lets go in, you don't wanna get a tan now do you' Daisy teased.

'on my chocolate skin? No way that happening' Brenda replied. Both girls giggled and made for the house.

Doctor Shroud: @princesa, i thought, Generally when people ain't
straight, they're gay, irrespective of actual sex?

don't about that, they are not straight people sexually, and the girls are lesbians while the guys are gays or homosexuals.
that's what i know

[quote author=Mazi_Omenuko]On integrated science Thought you bought a JAMB form already?[/quote]no its actually on Mac 322, i know you can't understand

and Jamb gave me automatic admission, remember my high score


@rap.... dey shine teeth wella, i neva forget you

[quote author=Mynd_44]Translate[/quote]you don turn me snake abi

and please, two advert post on my thread, could you hide only those for me? page 14. thanks you

am here oh Brenda.

@ekaromail
i like the second cover best, the lady look so like Daisy, with sexy and deep eyes....

the second doesn't quite sit well with me and as missonas said, it depicted a conquered Daisy, plus those model aren't that pretty jó.

thank you for the effort and my full name will be given when the story is complete, pls design other cover, using that same Model but different colors, font and backgrounds..
thank you

ekaromail: i mean that can a blog be opened and managed with the mobile accessibility?

Depends on the kind of phone. you can make do with an iphone or android. I think you can also use a BB.
I'm creating something for ur book. will upload it shortly

okay about the phone...
waiting patiently for the book stuff, is it a cover page

Tovot: if you do not update we will quarell!

don't break what's left of my heart

mutaino, semi colon in what way?

you don me snake abi

ekaromail: YES you are! You can make use of ur laptop. dnt forget dat laptop is d improved version of desktop

lol, not in that way i meant it. *whispers* i don't have a laptop yet.

i mean that can a blog be opened and managed with the mobile accessibility?



and bishop......sorry oh, you come late

Tovot: princesa goodday good morning every one

goodmorning


enez morning

mabebe...morning
i will start on the story later today, okay?

Rap maestro: not moved/scared... Critique na... Infact i've been xpecting that..
>
but wait o.. This new princesa na badt gurl o.. Jes saying

critic you want, critic you shall get. just hold ur breath, i got quiz in an hours time... and i shall be back

bad girl mode activated