₦airaland Forum

Confussion2: Two things are involved when a chik is flashing the sex light and the guy refuses.

1) He doesn't want to loose interest: As a sex meniac u said, he has been there and done that. Soo he has seen all shades of "opante".
Soo to him sex is no biggy. If ur girl pushes him further and he has sex with her, the interest will go down and the relationship might crumble.

2) You can only accuse a non-virgin girl of cheating. Soo it's possible he doesnt want to open it so that he can easily checkmate her.

Whichever way it is, ur friend shud chill bcuz he values her enough not to be fixated on sex from her which is by the way the "only" thing ladies use to control a guy.

point taken sir, cheers for your input

tunde705: My dear I won't even advice you to meddle into other people's affair. If anything goes wrong as a result of your advice, hell will be let loose on you o.


Keep off sweet heart.

I understand but shes my best friend and if i dont advice her, someone else will who may give very bad advice, thanks for your concern, seep well

benromeo39: then she should sit him down and discuss the issue. If he doesn't give solid reasons, she should pressurize him. But wait o, ask her if she made him promise not to ask for sex till marriage, it could be he's just frustrating her because of the silly rules most girls make before they agree to a relationship.

yes she was quite hard on him in the beginning with the whole no sex/virgin thing because she thought he would 'chop and clean mouth'

countsparrow: Bro, I agree with ur point, but the issue is, Marriage is a lifetime thing and I feel certain things should be sampled before u tie d Knot, and anybody that says SEX isn't important in a union I believe is just a fvcking hypocrite...

Okay for example, I marry a man who can't satisfy me sexually and we had the chance of like having sex before the union we didnt because I believe he won't touch me cos he loves me, at the end of the day, u discover u guys are not compatible sexually, tell me if dat enuff isn't enuff to put the marriage to the test...
1. Sometimes d frustration makes u get mad at him for no reason

2. When u catch up with ur girlfriends, and they tell u how they have nice times with der spouses, u will get mad at him for not experiencing such simply because he knew he couldn't satisfy u and he tricked you to such union...

So Mel, not having sex with ur GF sometimes doesn't translate to love, der might be some hidden stuff to it, and in this case there is a hidden stuff to it... The earlier she considers her option d better and I hope ur friend doesn't like sex, cos if she doesn a man that can hold his libido for 2 years isn't going to give her some real good sex...

hmmm youve thrown a spanner into the works. you make quite a valid point o, me i no know again

tunde705: my dear

THE GUY CAN NOT PERFORM. HE IS IMPOTENT.

as much as i could just accept that, seeing as so many people have put it out there, i know its not true, and i cant just tell her this, it would break her

tunde705: THE GUY IS WHAT YORUBA PEOPLE CALL, "ESHIN INU IWE"....

meaning?

benromeo39: Well, has she demanded for it or she has been flashing the lights? Let her try giving him a bj to see if he can even get an erect.ion and how long it can stay. Maybe he's hiding something.

she has demanded for it and now she feels she has made herself look like a sex starved desperate lady because he blatantly told her no she said; and i suggested the bj idea to her but she said he claims its dirty and would never let her do such, i really wish i could help her because i know personally if my man denied me sex, its his loss because i will get it one way or the other, don't judge me, some things cant be helped

chukwuma101: Back then, not returning my calls and feeling recalcitrant to pick. But that's memory now.

ahh thats one thing i cant stand either, but my boyfriend doesnt do this, my ex used to, i guess thats one of the reasons hes now an ex

krispycash: I was talking to a friend who had just gotten married and he was having issues with trust... I'll tell u the same thing I told him... sex should be the last thing u use to prove u love a man...

Be stubborn enough to make ur relationship work...

Use ur head before your heart sets in... that way when ur heart is in, it's gonna take a nuke to make it falter...

Sex has been misinterpreted over the years to mean submission/ love... when u love ur man... you prove to him you love him by showing u love him... u show him u love him by understanding him and being supportive... same goes for the man...

Sex is just what comes to play when intimacy sets in...
If he truly loves her, then she has nothing to worry about so she can keep her legs closed... her virginity is a priceless virtue most women don't have... so she should guard it with much aggressiveness...

N.B- it's future partner... that's if I don't end up a rev. Father

So there are actually men like you on this nairaland, im in absolute shock. Im glad i put this question here now, thanks for your very mature and well thought out responses, well your future partner is very lucky and if its reverend, then your congregation are lucky

krispycash: I love it when a woman acts civilised even when upset... It ticks me off when I see a woman walk round the house with just a wrapper... wtf... na village?

hahaha you go fear na, queens english when in a brawl, but who wears wrapper in this day and age though

samflexxy: mouth action b.j so u r one of those girls that think men enjoy sex than women ?

I always return THAT favour 9 times out of ten, most men do tbh, it takes a strong man to satisfy me

countsparrow: dats a tough choice... It pays to be selfish than do sometin I don't want or like doing...I am a reasonable being, I won't if I know it will affect me psychologically... Sometimes u like someone so much it pains u to hurt her...

hmm i hear you

krispycash: Very few men actually know what they want in a relationship so the first thing they do is "sex" ... then they feel they're the boss... she needs to hold on to what she's got cos trust me it's a lot better she doesn't have her mileage piling up... Most male folks think like kids, most male kids think like he-goats... Most he-goats think with the sticks... so when u have a man who puts u first and starving himself of the pleasure of sex... that's a man who might really be in love... With u... notice the way most males even on here think... They feel sex is the in thing ... let her stay focused on other things in her relationship like making it work...

N.B... just saw ur pic... u r quite gorgeous... smile more girl... ur blessed ...

Thanks hunny, where were you when i was looking for a man lol, your future/present partner is truly lucky. I think for her , she just wants to prove her love more and invest more into the relationship by giving herself to him but he doesnt see it in the same way

chukwuma101: . Well, anything to help your friend... You look gorgeous too. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thanks sweety, you don't look too bad yourself

menix: Naggin sumz it up 4 mii..

What you term nagging, she terms conversing it all depends on the angle you view it

samflexxy: Not returning the favour during intimacy. Nagging me about how her friends boyfriend just bought her a new z10 bb for her I just feel shity about the rest aint saying no more

Returning what favour? No be you enjoy am pass?

krispycash: There are so many reasons people do what they do, when u truly love a woman, sex is secondary... she's obviously trying to give her self to show or prove to him how much she loves him but then he's also trying to show her he isn't all about sex... There is a man in that act and a God fearing one at that... She should sit him down and ask questions just to be certain... There are so many other things in life that are worth being in a relationship for... and sex isn't amongst the first 5... so she should cool it and sit him down to know why... and it seems his intentions are true... He really does love her...

Very good advice, I shall relay this on to her. Thanks

countsparrow: Oh I forgot to add this, some guys just don't have the guts to disvirgin a gal... U know from what they've heard from people whose been der done that... I for one wouldn't want to do that too...

Haha reasonable point but if someone you really loved begged you to, would you?

tchigofigo: n they'v bn dating 4 2 yrs?! If there's romance, as in smooching n all that..then it's nt a religious ish..they r two naive n possibly, two V's in a relationship. She shld inquire of his sex history n prbbly health hstry too

They have romance, very good actually, makes me sick at times and from what she told me, he used to be a sex maniac so I don't know what the problem could be

ericessien24: guy I know you need comments MAYBE you go enter front page.but sorry.if u like mention me till next year I no reply.comos estat

Well maybe you should stop mentioning me, it's clear you don't take rejection very well, just leave me the fuk alone.stop emailing me and stop quoting me too capisce?! And it's comos estas darling not estat, once a ghetto kid, always a ghetto kid

countsparrow: Rule out cheating on her... It is a deeper issue... Because I cheat on my wife/gf doesn't mean I won't sleep with her...

Just saying though

Hmm like spiritual cause? She says he's quite religious though but surely there's always an extent, 2 years is a mighty long time

ericessien24: ode I no be gay.park well.no mention me again

Is that the best you got 'no mention me again'? It's clear you need to be sent to a psychiatric hospital, you have a lot of loose screws, such a sad case, I pity you

tchigofigo: does he get turned on when she tries to seduce him?ask her..if yes.,maybe, he's sick or impotent..or he's nt got d balls to disV a grl..

She's a virgin so her seducing tricks may be as good as non existent, lol. I think he may just be scared, but I don't understand why

ericessien24: big lie,Mr man I no send that one oh,I never try am since I join nairaland not even the females not to talk of you guy.omo park well.by pics we knw dem

When you learn how to communicate, come back and maybe I'll grace you with a proper response

ericessien24: mmmmm if they catch u,Na 14yrs oh

Meaning??
Look mr man! Because I refused you in private messages does not mean you should wash your dirty linen outside. Go hug a generator, lunatic and stop stalking me!

chukwuma101: You virgin BFF might get really upset if she comes across this thread. And is she unattractive, undesirable? She may be her own problem!

I know as a lady I shouldn't say this and will probably never tell her to her face cos she can get super big headed but she's fuking drop dead gorgeous and sometimes I think that gets to her head. Tbh, I think shes too good for him but hey! That's just me

ericessien24: I'm better than you I no use woman picture.Malam.and go suck a dik

Wtf is wrong with you? You on your period or something? Yes I'd gladly go suck a dick, why don't you focus on looking less like an owl and more like a man? Fuking nfa

countsparrow: The guy has something he is hiding... UNLESS he is the religious type...

Who passes up sex Who does Definitely not me...

Exactly my thoughts! Or maybe he's cheating on her?

valdes00: No 2 ways about it, the guy is #IMPOTENT shikena

I doubt it cos he's definitely had sex before, just not with her

ericessien24: she Abi you and with your dp you b boy

How rude! If you have nothing good to say about the topic, keep your brainless question to yourself. Idiotic he goat

I'll get the dice rolling

Leaving the toilet seat up
Hanging up the phone while I'm still talking
Sharing our intimacy with friends

I'll stop there for now

Hi y'all been a min. My best friend has confided in me with an issue she's having and I know she would hate to know I've made it public but I don't know how else to advice her so I thought I'd put it here. Her issue is that she wants to have sex with her fiancé but the big problem for her is that her fiancé does not want to have sex with her and she does not want to lose her virginity to anyone but him. I advised her that if he loved her, he'd give her what she wanted but she claims that he isn't sexually attracted to her and that whenever she makes an effort, he always finds excuses. What can she do or what should she do? If it helps, my friend is going on 25 and she's been seeing her fiancé for almost 2 years now.