DrLevi:

You've got a good novel material on your hands

Does he know this?

No my ex definitely doesn't know and we still communicate. He recently found out I had started dating again cos of one those anonymous messages. He asked about the person but I found a way of waving it off...

DrLevi:

This question is funny. I'm not that nerdy, of course I have

Have you had sex then?

DrLevi:

If it's so complicated, why is it still on?

You need to understand the complication first.

He's the guy I cheated on my ex with. Makes any sense?

DrLevi:

This is so weird I am going to follow to see where it leads. I hope you'll keep us informed as situation unfolds.
In my opinion no one is dating anyone but what does a single guy like me know

There's a lot more interesting complication associated with the relationship which is technically the reason I haven't shared that much info about it in my diary.

DrLevi:

You obviously didn't read my diary from the start

Certain friend is a nick for my ex. I've only dated her and it was technically long distance but distance so long we didn't even communicate at all(her phone was bad tho) we did see each other in church every Sunday and her place was a trek away
I was terrible at normal relationships then, a romantic one didn't stand a chance

I didn't even describe it like this on my diary, just simple called it "an epic disaster"

Lol...yeah I did read your diary from the beginning but just once and a long time ago and I have a very short term memory.

Have you kissed a girl before?

DrLevi:

I'm still so lost.
You're dating someone you haven't seen in over a year. How are you sure of your feelings for him? Why start an online relationship?

I'm asking too many questions this point

Have you been in any relationship? Let me guess, no right?

DrLevi:

I'm still so lost.
You're dating someone you haven't seen in over a year. How are you sure of your feelings for him? Why start an online relationship?

I'm asking too many questions this point

Yeah I've been asking myself the same question ever since it started.

It's just that I basically turn down every guy that comes my way. Usually there's only one person I wanna talk to and then when I picture myself in a relationship, the same person comes to mind.

I never really wanted the whole thing to turn into a relationship, it just did. I was gonna wait till we meet in person again but he felt it's no use since we have already seen each other, done stuff together and all that. I tend to tell people I have a boyfriend just to push them aside and he did the same. So tada! I was automatically taken.

DrLevi:

WTF

What kind of relationship is this? I don't remember reading the details in your diary

That's because I haven't really dived into the details in my diary. It's a topic I've been trying to avoid.

It's not that bad. I know the guy in person and we've made out a few times but we weren't dating then. I just haven't seen him in over a year and the relationship kinda started this year.

DrLevi:

So you cool off from the world. What do you do during this time, alone in your room?

Yeah one time is understandable but all your relationships? It's a little too convenient to be a coincidence

I sleep for the most of the time. Movies also. Assignment if there's any. Probably read if there's the possibility of an impending test.


The first serious relationship which was after secondary school so happened that we moved out of the state, and I could only visit once in a long while depending on the lie or excuse I could give my mum.

The second one started here at home and then we went to different schools. I did visit him at his school once and then we met at home, then the relationship ended.

The third one which is the present, I still haven't seen him since the relationship started.

DrLevi:

This part is just extreme... WTF

Anyway, why long distant? You only like guys from far away?

Lol... The good thing about the extreme part is, I'm a total delight when I'm done isolating


Well it just so happens to be long distant and I kinda like it sef. No too much drama. More like a relationship starts here at home and then we travel to different schools and the next time we get to see is if there's the holiday that tallies

DrLevi:
[sub][/sub]
One of those girls with make besties. How does your BF cope?

Infact describe your relationship, how does your introvertedness get in the way, do you do PDA and stuff?

It's not my fault, I grew up with guys. It's only natural that I vibe well with them.

As for relationship, almost every relationship I've ever gotten into is distant. So the so called BF don't get to see how much I relate with guys.

As for my introvertedness, it gets in the way of so many relationships. I mean both friends and boyfriend. My sanity can only be fun with people for a certain amount of time. Once it exceeds that amount of time, I start to lose it gradually.

In school I would close my windows and lock my gate and put in my slippers, even put off my light so no one would know I'm around. And then I snub calls of some friends just so they can't reach me. If they try coming to my place, they'll see everywhere locked up. Am I bad?

DrLevi:

Well you never heard this, it never happened

Sure

DrLevi:

I'm starting to think you're worse than I am

The good thing is, anyone that makes a tiny little attempt to come close to me, they're in for a treat. That's if I'm feeling their vibe.

Also I roll well with guys than with girls

DrLevi:

Do all the street girls hate you because you've never acknowledged their existence

They're not my type tho

We moved to this area and I can only boast of one female friend who happens to be a neighbor and was/is very clingy. I'm usually indoors and never come out except it's necessary.

DrLevi:

The only one that comes to mind was this time in secondary school. well I was young tho, one of those kids who skipped classes. I had a running stomach and was feeling pressed. I look at my seatmate and then best friend and told him I had to go home (the school's toilet was under repairs).
Nigga looked at me and said "Guy be a man, people from your tribe can hold shit, school will soon close anyway". Yeah I shouldn't have listened to him. So about 30mins later in the middle of class, I was dancing in my seat, moving my buttocks from one end to another, telling myself I was a true son of the soil. I think I was trying to let a fart out when all hell broke loose. I froze, hoping no one perceives it but alas 5 seconds later, someone shouted "Who mess?". The teacher was already pissed and brought out cane to flog the culprit. I just froze like I wasn't there. Las Las na my friend cast me, the rest cannot be told without reliving it.
I had to live with that shame for the rest of my 4 years in that school because it happened in JS1.

In my defense, I was only 9.

Lol... Eya...this is one experience I pray never to have

DrLevi:

Do people find you unapproachable?

Some do. Some don't.

DrLevi:

Normal? Wow! Thought I was an extreme

Yeah. I do almost everything on your list. Just that I can start up conversations when I want to and when I'm dragged by friends to go visiting, I'm usually full of life, I try to make people laugh.

DrLevi:

I couldn't help but laugh
Village people planned you that day

That feeling lasted for days and I still feel weird thinking about it.


So what's your own embarrassing story?

DrLevi:

Well I don't talk to people unless they talk to me first, or I absolutely have to make a request for something.

I spend almost all my day with headphones plugged in, so to talk to me to have to yell and until I hear you, most people don't have the strength so they don't bother.

I am also a movie freak and so I can spend all day indoors watching movies, reading, sleeping or playing video games. I usually have no motivation to go outside

I also hate loud noises, can't bear it.

I don't also fancy popular discussion amongst people, mostly when it lacks an intellectual input so I usually don't engaged in discussion.

For no reason will I get up and tell myself I'm visiting a friend.

So basically I'm the worst kind... I've made conscious efforts to change tho

It's not so bad. It's actually quite normal.

PrincessMila:


In my diary I did mention one time a guy knelt down in the middle of the road begging me to spend the night at his side.

But I think that's not so embarrassing now that I think of it.

One that I find really embarrassing is one that I bleeped up big time. I was at the Gst unit, trying to get my form stamped. There was a queue and only until it had almost gotten to my turn did I realise I was at the wrong queue.

I found the right one and I was totally frustrated at that time to think of starting all over from the back. I told my friend who was a bit ahead in the line that I'll be at her back. I was gonna go sit somewhere and rest a bit.

When I saw it was almost her turn, I tried to get into the line and then my supposed crush who was directly at her back said I should get behind him. There's a total stranger at his back and I was sure the stranger wouldn't allow me jump the line.

This crush had actually been asking me out and I did see him as someone I could date. A reasonable person would allow me stamp the form before him but the nigga was just so self centered.


Okay now it seems I'm telling a totally different story. Don't worry I'll get to the embarrassing part

Well, I got angry at the crush and left the whole place. Someone then told me that I could join another line which is for another faculty. I was skeptical about it but then the person assured me that once I get in there, there's nothing like arrangements according to faculties. I looked at the line and there was just like two persons there.

I joined the line and it got to my turn in no time. The person in charge asked me if I was in the said faculty, I nodded just to play along and get inside. The man asked again, I should have just used that as nature's way of telling me to say the fvcking truth but then I was too pissed. I agreed and got in. I was directed to the person in charge of the faculty I claimed to be in.

I showed her my form and she directed me to another lady who's in charge of my actual faculty. By then the man was also directing someone else to the lady in charge of my actual faculty. The lady said she can't handle two at a time. By then the man understood what had happened.

He sent me out and said some stuff right in front of everyone including my friends, the supposed crush and basically everyone in the queue. I had to leave there without stamping cos I felt really bad with myself for lying.

And I turned down that guy. That act alone removed the scales off my eyes to see a lot of his flaws.

DrLevi:

Oh! My mistake.

So I'm to say some random fact about myself?

It'll be easier if I had questions to answer.

Anyway, I have questions.
What's your most embarrassing moment?

In my diary I did mention one time a guy knelt down in the middle of the road begging me to spend the night at his side.

But I think that's not so embarrassing now that I think of it.

One that I find really embarrassing is one that I bleeped up big time. I was at the Gst unit, trying to get my form stamped. There was a queue and only until it had almost gotten to my turn did I realise I was at the wrong queue.

I found the right one and I was totally frustrated at that time to think of starting all over from the back. I told my friend who was a bit ahead in the line that I'll be at her back. I was gonna go sit somewhere and rest a bit.

When I saw it was almost her turn, I tried to get into the line and then my supposed crush who was directly at her back said I should get behind him. There's a total stranger at his back and I was sure the stranger wouldn't allow me jump the line.

This crush had actually been asking me out and I did see him as someone I could date. A reasonable person would allow me stamp the form before him but the nigga was just so self centered.


Okay now it seems I'm telling a totally different story. Don't worry I'll get to the embarrassing part

DrLevi:

That's weird, a bit of both worlds

Explain how your introversion works?

DrLevi:

I thought you had questions

You mean I should ask you questions?

DrLevi:

were you always like this or is it something you developed later

It's hard to say for sure. I like to think I developed it later but a part of me feels I've always had it in me.

DrLevi:

fair point.... okay you go first

This is a tough one cos I've been very open in my diary. Give me time to think.

DrLevi:

no... you'll need to expatiate on that

I can hang out and keep up with conversations and probably not get lost in a crowd but I still prefer my room and silence to any of those.

DrLevi:

Isn't my diary source material enough

That's basically you telling what you want to tell not telling what I want to know.

How about you tell me something about you that I don't know and I'll do the same. Sound fair?

DrLevi:

So you're an introvert too?

If I say I'm an extroverted introvert would that make any sense to you?

DrLevi:

What kind are you talking about

I'm not sure yet. I first have to get to know you then figure out what works for you.

DrLevi:

I've attended extroverted parties and still didn't feel the vibe, just a lot of noise.

Is that the kind of special. Maybe it only works for extroverts

I don't mean that kind of special though. I know those won't work for you.