manny4life:
What are you talking about? Did you read our position before writing all these? When did expelling SA companies become isolation, yet when did that turn out to be depending majorly on other countries particularly when we are advocating for our indigenous growth? Abeg I son't understand what you've written, please take a step back and read through our opinion. As for the bold , if indeed you're asking a genuine question, I will reply you.

Do the mutinational companies make laws for us? are they responsible for our dead manufacturing sectors? how many wealthy Nigerians are willing to invest halve the money this multinationals invest in Nigeria? i can bet you that if we quarel with SA economically, we would turn to China/other countries.

atlwireles, manny4life and co,Since When did depending majorly on other countries of the world for consumer goods/services become something to be proud of?
How would we manage if we face the kind of sanctions Russia faces today?
Though in this day, no country can function entirely in total isolation but the international political economy is controlled by those countries that are almost 100 percent reliant on self. So much talk about South Africa suffering more if our (Nigeria and South Africa) economic relations becomes strained. What is the national of those working at MTN in Nigeria? same for all other South African business in Nigeria. Talking about MTN losing the MEGA profits they make from Nigerian on a yearly basis, how would this (losing this profit) affect South African government and her people? is MTN owned by the government of South Africa or by private individuals (South Africans, Arabians,Nigerians, Human beings)? I could go on, but the base line is that the two parties would be hurt by a strain in economic tires but Nigeria would lose more as a lot of Nigerians are been employed by South African firms, not mentioning the thousands of Nigerians hustling in South Africa. Be sure that the issue would be resolved, as the private individuals that own MTN their likes and labor leaders would move to placate their governments in other to protect their own interest.

ceejay80s:
Uche should go 2 hell
all posters above me are talkíng trash. If u dont have respect for ur parents, lecturer,teacher, just because u have money. What do u think will happen
uche fìt try am for his club coach?

What are you talking about?

You will get the source shortly.

I was informed by a very senior police officer that one of the two Nigerians with the isreali caught on Oritsejafors private jet with $9.3million was Asari Dokubo!

Enoquin: I watch football, I think many women don't watch because of how the men guarded and regarded the sport. My Gem is Ass-nal, I am United. You need to hear how I taunt his team . Lord, have mercy.
I remembered when they were about to get Ozil. I no hear word. Faked indifference because he didnt trust wenger to spend that money but after nko, every small thing, ozil this, ozil that till the tune changed this season

Yeah real chicks dont date Arsenal fans, they marry them! So are you real?

MissMeiya:

Once you realize that nairaland is dominated by a certain quality of men, you will no longer be disappointed. Just unfollow the thread.

Hei i sent you a PM, waiting to hear from you. cheers

If other religous leaders jeting around town were like you sir, things would be a lot better.

I am not suprised Okojie said this,he does not mince words. what could scare a man of his age and caliber or what is he still pursueing?This question is what sane minds ask on a daily basis; why do relatively successful persons sit on their heads and behave like petty criminals, to what end i ask? All the wealth in the world would not make you immortal, if you have 10 houses you can only stay in a room at a time i could go on,so to what end? Memento mori (remember that one day you will die) for
Homo Humus,Fama, fumus, Cini finis.
Man is clay, fame is smoke, in the end we are dust.

brownlord: Damn all of them in that so called CNBC, with the kind of intolerance they practice they are worst than boko haram and other enemies of this country, A suppose religious group that won't allow someone else lead them, they pulled out of CAN because someone else Is the president and will return when a Catholic head it right? Why have they not pull out of catholic faith with the drug scandal rocking the Vatican city?


Bloody hypocrites

So if you are a cleric you would allow some one like ORISABINGBING Lead your group?

EzzyIzzy: The funny thing all of you dont realise is that the money wasnt meant to buy any arms. That money was being taken out from the country. From the charter details, the aircraft was supposed to get to South-Africa and return the next day with the passengers. We all know that you can conclude such arms deal in 24hrs. The arms deal angle was introduced as part of the cover up. The guy who chartered the flight, John.Ishyaku, is he a government contractor or is he a known arms dealer? People Decieving People

You are making sense here bro, i was equally thinking in this direction but the presence of the Israeli makes the scene a bit murky(Israeli's are reputed for been experts in ammunition and intelligence related matters) but the story and the act is not coherent and lives a lot of questions unanswered. Why would the government smuggle money meant for legitimate bussiness into another country?

This Kindergarten Government run by Jonathan must think every person is naive and gullible, its better South African Government holds on to that money till the real purpose for transporting that magnitude of raw cash comes out.

Investigators in South Africa have dismissed Nigerian government’s explanations of the purpose of the $9.3 million cash seized from two Nigerians and an Israeli as “flawed and riddled with discrepancies”. The suspects told South African authorities that the money was meant for the procurement of arms for Nigerian intelligence agencies.


Although various explanations about the money were given to the investigating officer, these explanations were flawed and riddled with discrepancies,” the South African prosecution agency said in a statement sent to this newspaper.

The jet used to ferry the money is owned by Ayo Oritsejafor, who heads the Christian Association of Nigeria, CAN.

Mr. Oritsejafor, a cleric, said he is not aware of the arms deal. He said although he owns the aircraft, it was managed by another company, Eagle Air Company, which in turn, leased the jet to a third party, Green Coast Produce Limited.

The Nigerian government in an unsigned statement, Tuesday, said it has provided South African authorities with documents and receipts to prove that the transaction was “legitimate.”

Nigerian security officials also said that it was normal practice to procure arms with cash.

“The Federal Government has submitted relevant data and documents on the transaction to South Africa and insisted that the transaction was legitimate. It also clarified that the funds were not laundered or smuggled for any covert manoeuvres. No launderer will be audacious to fly into a country in a chartered jet with such a huge cash,” a statement by PRNigeria, an agency that regularly disseminates media statements for the military, police and other security agencies in Nigeria explained.

The statement tallies with what top security officials told PREMIUM TIMES in confidence that the money was legit as the government decided to buy the arms secretly; because the U.S. government had allegedly blocked its efforts to buy arms openly.

However, the government’s explanation does not seem to be gaining traction with South African investigators as the Asset Forfeiture Unit, AFU, of the National Prosecuting Authority of South Africa, NPA, has obtained a court order to freeze the money.

The NPA, in a statement sent to PREMIUM TIMES Wednesday said that the manner which the money was brought into the country breached the country’s laws that deal with the transfer of foreign exchange of such proportion.

“The money was initially detained by the South African Revenue Service (SARS) as it was not disclosed or declared at customs, and was above the prescribed legal limit for the amount of cash that may be brought into the country,” it said in a statement.

Investigators also cast serious doubt on the Nigerian government’s explanation that the money was meant for the procurement of arms and that it has provided documents and receipt to back its legitimacy, raising serious concern that suspects might have been in the process of laundering the money before it was intercepted.

The NPA said its investigation shows that Tier One Services Group, the firm Nigerian government claimed it wanted to procure the arms from, is not authorised to sell or rent military hardware.

“In court papers, the NPA submitted evidence that Tier One is not registered with the National Conventional Arms Control Committee and is thus not authorised to enter into any agreements regarding the sale and/or rental of military equipment,” the statement read.

Tier One has apparently issued an invoice to a Cyprus based company, ESD International Group Ltd, ESD, in respect of the procurement of armaments and helicopters to be delivered to Nigeria. However, South African investigators said the time when the invoice was prepared and the time the money was brought in threw up some serious issues of its true intent.

The money was ferried to South Africa less than a week from the date the invoice was prepared (September 8, 2014).

The involvement of a Cyprus based company also heightens the suspicion that this may be a case of classical money laundering. Cyprus is notorious for its secretive banking system, which attracts shady characters and corrupt politicians looking to dry-clean ill-gotten funds.

The NPA added that the transaction did not follow normal procedure in the procurement of the kind of equipment it was alleged to have been meant for.

http://saharareporters.com/2014/09/18/cash-arms-deal-transportation-93m-jet-looks-classic-case-money-laundering%E2%80%93south-africa

MissMeiya:

Lol. I don't know what to say to such effusive praise. Thanks *sheepish*

You are welcome!

MissMeiya: What a self-centered ásshole!! HE'S having a hard time??'? What about the families of the deceased and injured??'??

I'm stunned! What an áss!

If you are single, i would marry you right now!


EDITED
I browsed through your previous posts and i like you more, i think i found somebody worth following/knowing on nairaland!

Your kind of reasoning shows that it is still possible to salvage Nigeria, even though we are little that reason well!

BananaBender:

Oh, he's self-centered? Was it his fault that the building collapsed?? Was it his fault that the contractors were venal??

Who do think is financing the hospital bills of those that were injured?? Who told you that the church has no plans for the families of the deceased??

If you're ignorant about what happened after the collapse, ask questions or shut the hell up!

The contractors haven't gotten a single blame for their mistake and subpar work but this pastor has had to endure the biting sanctimonious tongues of Nigerians.

I wonder if people type comments on NL, just to get likes from their fellow fvcktards. Do y'all ever think things through??

YOU ARE A BIG FOOL! YOU AND YOUR LIKES ARE THE PROBLEM OF THIS COUNTRY!

Disgrace filled news flying around Nigeria every day, from steady treasury looting, supporting the genocide in the North for economic and political gains to smuggling out millions of dollars to South Africa on CAN presidents private jet for purchase of weapons, only God knows what is yet to come, i doubt it could get worse though. I have deduced long ago that the Real Nigerians are not yet ready to reclaim their country from this messed up set of people at all places of leadership, all we do is blab and go back to our 'miserable lives'. Just look at the hell that broke loose over the killing of a black kid at FERGUSON in the U.S.A recently, activities in the state was halted and the authorities where forced to give expedite attention to the matter. when we are Really fed up with this Stench filled God forsaken country called Nigeria, we will act!

Ali Modu Sheriff, the former governor of Borno State who is alleged to be funding the violent Boko Haram militancy in the Northeast, arrived in the state capital today with over 200 soldiers in his convoy.

Former Governor of Borno State, Ali Modu Sheriff
He was in town to pay a condolence visit on a friend who lost his mother.

Mr. Sheriff ignited a political firestorm only last week when he showed up in meetings in Chad with President Goodluck Jonathan and his Chadian counterpart, Idris Derby.

That revelation brought the Nigerian president under a serious political backlash. The public outcry forced Mr. Jonathan to declare publicly he will not interfere with the investigation of Mr. Sheriff by the State Security Services.

Mr. Sheriff’s foray into Maiduguri in stunning force late following his arrival on a private jet shocked residents who were suddenly swamped by a massive convoy of soldiers, making many to speculate that the Chief of Defense Staff, Alex bade, was in town.

Mr. Sheriff made the even more astonishing announcement to close pals that he was merely visiting an associate, Kassim Imam, who lost his mother a few days ago.

Analysts say Mr. Sheriff’s possession and open demonstration of such lavish federal force and protection reopens the question as to his real relationship with Mr. Jonathan, and the future of any investigation of the sponsors of Boko Haram.

Some Maiduguri residents and political observers expressed surprise about Mr. Sheriff’s huge convoy in view of Mr. Jonathan’s denials. They wondered why 200 soldiers that should be fighting against Boko Haram, the sect Sheriff is allegedly funding, should instead be protecting him.

Efforts to obtain comments from presidential spokesman Reuben Abati, who issued a statement denying that Mr. Sheriff was in Chad with Mr. Jonathan, met with failure.

http://saharareporters.com/2014/09/15/alleged-boko-haram-sponsor-modu-sheriff-storms-mauduguri-200-soldier-protection

Perverts blinded to reality, worshiping a man believing that he would make all there trobules go away, not knowing that the man can not even save himself!

chukwudi44:

north did not vote for GEJ in 2011 yet he is president.Even if you remove the sw votes from him ,he would still have won

So how would he have won with neither the support of the North or the SW?

Nigerian masses are so emotionally brilliant that they will rather get angry when their preachers are discussed but will never get angry when they are humiliated and robbed by their politicians. The average religious Nigerian will rather be concerned about who and what is said about their pastor than be concerned about the man who stole from the country’s treasury.

Winners Chapel aka Living Faith Church is arguably the most successful franchise from the pulpit. With so many great feats attached to the international franchise: the largest church auditorium, the largest church worship in a single service, the richest preacher with the largest fleet of private jets and collections of exorbitant schools and of course the largest attraction of arrogant and pompous Christians in this part of the world. If you want to learn how to be an arrogant narcissist in the Lord, Winners Chapel is all you need for your schooling.

Papa Oyedepo, as he is fondly addressed, is the ultimate icon of pulpitarian glamour. The pastorpreneur of pastorpreneurs. The captain of “churchdustry”, the preacher which other preachers wish to be like and even more. The alpha-priest with an uncanny anointing “extort-ordinaire". So great is this anointing “extort-ordinaire” that the UK could not handle, and out of their colonial love and passion, they ensured our awesome product is contained in our territory.

Can “oyinbo” (British people for that matter), be so nice and generous to the same people who they seek to control in the past? I’m just wondering why the UK will not return our stolen artifacts but will generously return our Papa without us even asking. Can anyone be this nice in returning a priced treasure to the owners at no cost? But anyway, thank you for giving us our Papa, you (oyinbo people) do not know anything that is good for you. We know, so, we keep him fed and fat.
That was how one “amebo” busybody colleague back then told me to my face that my Papa is an arrogant man and that he likes slapping people recklessly. He even had the nerve to mention “OLEdepo” into my ears! Aaaaah! I slapped the idiot! How can he talk rubbish about my Papa? Doesn’t he know that slapping and cursing was part of the curriculum my Papa received during his more than 12 hours of revelation before he began ministry? Don’t you know that he is a God of man, sorry Man of God and he can do whatever he likes? You people talk any how against my Papa; you will incur the wrath of God o! But it’s okay (sha) if my Papa acts anyhow, talks and slaps people as he pleases. He cannot incur the wrath of God because he is the God of man, sorry Man of God while you are an Animal of God.

Besides, he is in a better position to decide for all of us who the wrath of God of wrath chooses; he knows God too well than the rest of us, sorry, God knows him to well than the rest of us. So leave the Man of God alone let him do as he pleases, let God be the judge not you! But if you talk anyhow, I’ll descend on you and judge you as I please, because you are just an Animal of God.
One thing I've been learned so much from my Papa is how to brag without bragging. Don't you admire the way he puts it? "I say this with all amount of humility 'my family and I can never be poor', 'I owe no man (either dead or alive) nothing', etc." I don't know why he has to remind us before the statement that he is of a humble remark like somebody was accusing of him of not? This my Papa (sha) knows how to package o. It reminds me of some folks who automatically get the licence to insult you by beginning their insult with "I don't mean to be rude or insult you..." It makes it so easy that whatever insult they shower afterwards will be covered under their earlier announced contract. Well, that one is worldly things, my Papa is just boasting in the Lord (whatever that means).

When I worked in the Ministry of education, my wicked Director one day asked me to recommend a good university for his Son who freshly left high school. Of course, Covenant University was the best revenge. I knew that his child will not last long there. True to my plans, he was expelled in his third year. What did the boy do? They said he had a Indecency video in his laptop. So they cast both the spirit of pornography and the boy out of the school. Hahaha!

Chai God of my Papa you too sweet; you have taken revenge for my sake. Anytime you want to recommend a school for your enemy, think of Covenant University. Your ward is more likely to be expelled in Covenant University than any other higher institution in Nigeria. Isn’t it awesome that Covenant expels more students than the rest of other schools in Nigeria? Is it that all the bad students always go to Covenant or Covenant just likes to make students bad in other to expel them? It is only a question I am asking oo before somebody slaps me for being a “witch for Christ.”My Papa is a living testimony that once you call yourself a man of God, you can do anything and get away. My Papa has this grace that even if he shoots a person point blank on camera, the congregation will give him a standing ovation and we (the congregation) will not hesitate in joining him to shoot the poor victim and bury his corpse afterwards. What else can I say; we are showing the life of Christ and we are in fact the first candidates of heaven. Envy us we have “Papadiction”!
Winners Church members are one hell of a sect. They do not mind emptying their purses into the coffers of the pastor even if that money is for the school fees for their ward. Insult them, say anything but don’t say anything against their Papa; they’ll kill you.

The easiest way to offend and break any relationship with a Winners Church member is to say something they perceive as annoying against their Papa. Even if it’s their sibling that criticizes their Papa, disowning such a “demonic” sibling is as easy as reciting Psalms 23. Well, it is not just peculiar to them. Nigerian masses are so emotionally brilliant that they will rather get angry when their preachers are discussed but will never get angry when they are humiliated and robbed by their politicians. The average religious Nigerian will rather be concerned about who and what is said about their pastor than be concerned about the man who stole from the country’s treasury. If they put them side by side and asked to choose whom to stone, the religious Nigerian will rather choose the man who criticizes his religious leader to death and release the man who stole the country’s wealth.

My religious Nigerian folks amaze me. They know God so much that they can tell when he is angry and God is always angry when they are angry. The Nigerian God is the type who has a wrath to unleash when an animal of God talks about a man of God but will be merciful when a pastor messes up and above all, he does not desire judgment in this case. What else were you expecting from the most religious people on earth? Religious, but not genius.

However, please don’t slap me for your Papa; I am not a “witch for Christ”.

Imoh "Son of David" is a Nigerian atheist, author, publisher, businessman and he writes from South Africa. Follow him on Twitter @ImohDavid.

http://saharareporters.com/2014/09/04/nigerian-churches-and-their-madness-3-winners-chapel-imoh-david

EvilBrain1: Sauce please!

I realize that is the kalakuta republic of Nairaland, but it's unethical to copy and paste a full article without at least linking to the source. The original author deserves to make some money from ad impressions too. No be only Seun suppose chop.

Mr SABI PASS If you read this article, you would not be asking for the source as it is clearly written at the end of the article.

Imoh "Son of David" is an Nigerian atheist. An author, publisher and business man and he writes from South Africa. Follow him on Twitter @ImohDavid.

musKeeto: Loving this Imoh guy.

Yeah check this out.

https://www.nairaland.com/1886329/nigerian-churches-individual-madness-part#26013036

GSKing: Very interesting stuff


rotflmao

Wait till you read this.

https://www.nairaland.com/1886329/nigerian-churches-individual-madness-part#26013036

Enjoy!

PastorKun: Following

This article should interest you then.

https://www.nairaland.com/1886329/nigerian-churches-individual-madness-part#26013036

Enjoy!

Yooguyz:

I don't think so, a christian won't be infuriated if the gospel is spreading its tentacles across the country.you are not/never a member of that ministry, you don't understand why they do what they do. So your criticism is based on ignorance.

You are acting like a BABATARD, or why should a well written amusing article on what is happening in Nigerian churches today upset you?
Ok since you are a REDEEMED as you usually say, here is something to laugh about.

https://www.nairaland.com/1884627/nigerian-churches-individual-madness-part

Do not be carried away by the authors sense of humor, he is absolutely on point!

Yooguyz: @pro2010, are you a member of Redeem?

I am a Christian.

Yooguyz: @pro2010, are you a member of Redeem?

Why do you ask?

In Pastor Adeboye's voice* "Baba God says there is somebody that will be overtaken by his anger after reading this...."

The RCCG is the fastest growing merchandise in Nigeria. Besides potential conflict zones, the RCCG merchandize is just about everywhere in Nigeria including the bedroom of the oga in Aso Rock. This is to show that "Dia ris God oo". The God of Daddy Adeboye is really a "Baba God". A Baba of private jets, bank CEO clients on EFCC lists, oil magnets patronage, polithiefcians and most especially the man in Aso Rock.

Pastor AdeboyePastor Adeboye Pastor Adeboye is one "pulpitarian" that seduces my grin. Adeboye has proven that once you tell a story that begins, ends and centres around "Baba God", it can be believed by Nigerian Christians no matter how senseless and untrue it is. The RCCG Christian clan in Nigeria is one Christian sect that can believe any story with the tag of "Baba (God)."

What is more marvelous than the fact that adults in the 21st century can believe a story that a man travelled from Benin to Lagos on an empty fuel tank? None of them saw it but someone claimed that some sky-Baba told him to travel that far without looking at his fuel gauge. Boom! Everyone believes.

Pastor Adeboye has reached the level where he can tell adults that he went for jogging in heaven before coming to mount the pulpit and the religious folks will believe. I am jealous. What can I smoke to reach the level where I can tell people stories and they'll believe it to be true whether or not it is a lie?

But I do not understand why Baba God has not told Daddy Adeboye to do a crusade in the North in places like Jigawa, Yobe, Bauchi, Borno? Haba! Borno? That is too harsh now! Even Baba does not have such imaginations to send our Daddy to Maiduguri. Baba God (*in Adeboye's voice*) is not interested in winning Boko Haram souls; he'll rather concentrate in repeating same old message to people who have already heard it in Lagos and the South. Baba does not need the souls of terrorists and almajaris, so he'll rather concern himself in giving his servant private jets, schools, offerings, tithes, etc. They are more important than the souls of Almajiris and Boko Haramists.

Isn't it awesome that Baba could make a car drive without fuel from Benin to Lagos (which nobody saw except Baba's servant), but cannot use that same power to arrest Boko Haramists? Is it that somebody's Baba cannot do that or somebody has refused to harken to that voice of Baba or perhaps somebody is afraid to come in contact with any incident that will send him to his Baba God? Hmmm, somebody is afraid to go and meet Baba. Well, it's non of my business before his social bodyguards will "kee" me.

RCCG members are to Nigeria what Ebola is to Liberia; they are an epidemic. One thing about them; they do not fail to announce their presence. Their stickers always do the talking. "Redeem family" on their door posts, on the car, in the office and if it were possible to tattoo it on their forehead, they'll do just that. Even the ones that are flying with their legs will tattoo it on their briefcases with faith that one day they'll paste it on their cars.

These folks can believe anything. A typical Redeem member can believe that he can enter Dubai and automatically and then Baba will give him the ability to speak Arabic instantaneously so that a big firm will pay him in millions of dollars to translate Arabic to English for them overnight. It's not their fault. When you believe that someone drove from Benin to Lagos on an empty fuel tank without seeing it, then you can believe anything.

The RCCG church service; well, I'll give them a C. Unlike that of Christ Embassy which full of unending drama scenes, the RCCG service can put you to snoring.

A mathematician will always be a mathematician, even in the way he talks. Is it just me that notices that Adeboye speaks like he is trying to solve arithmetic without a calculator? It is good packaging though. For it is easier to seduce people on the pulpit when you appear and sound humble. Talking that way will never anger you to slap a poor woman for saying she is "a witch for Christ". At least he is not temperamental like his Ota counterpart. Another good thing about talking that way is that it makes it so easy to go unnoticed that you are a lazy praying man.

Adeboye simply calls-out prayer topics and suffers the poor congregation to pray lengthy and chew their hearts out and after that he ends it with a short line "my Baba says it is done" and they shout Amen! After all, they won't call it laziness; it is an excuse for faith. If it was me that was praying that way they'll say I do not have a spiritual life, since there is no Daddy or Papa attached to my name; I am jealous. On the other hand, why would you have to extend your prayers when you already have private jets and a Commander-in-Client? What do you want to pray for? Leave the prayer for the poor men to tear apart.

I want to make an appeal that the dear Daddy should refrain from praying and prophesying about national issues. The first time I heard him speak about national issue was when President Jonathan wanted to contest in 2011. He said Baba God will send good leaders to Nigeria and we ended up with President Goodluck Jonathan. If president GEJ is what Baba intended to send to us, all I can say is "Baba, you can do better than this."

Few months before the subsidy removal he prayed that Baba will work on the country. Before we knew it, the President removed subsidy.

Again, he prayed and cursed Boko Haram, few weeks later Boko Haram attacked Yobe schools and now Baba's curse on Boko Haram has led to thr Chibok tragedy and many more. When news broke that American soldeirs will be joining the Chibok pursuit, he said that Baba will cause the girls to be released soon. Baba must have a special kind of soon.

Whether or not Adeboye's Baba functions, nobody asks questions because nobody questions Baba's spokesman. I don't know whether Adeboye is Baba or Baba is Adeboye. Because if Baba cannot be questioned and Adeboye too cannot be questioned, it means Baba and Adeboye are the same. Well, let me keep quiet "Babatards" will nail me for talking about Baba. Babacracy, you too sweet!

Imoh "Son of David" is a Nigerian Atheist, author, publisher and business man and he writes from South Africa. Follow him on Twitter @ImohDavid.

Came across this lively, amusing and correct write up about Christ Embassy, i could not help but share it. The writer is very Good, very articulate i must say.

Believers Love World aka Christ Embassy Church is my favorite clan of all the Nigerian Christian blocs.

If you are no stranger to these Christians, you'll definitely agree that there is no funeral spirit around these guys. They are just one hell of a sui generis in the sky-daddy bandwagon.

Pastor Chris OyakhilomePastor Chris Oyakhilome Attend one of their services, I assure you there is no house of bedlam like the Christ Embassy church service. I call it a beautiful absurdity; an orgasmic show of religious fascism at its best. Nobody, I say it again: Nobody does the mental fascism thing better than the Christ Embassy bunch. It is so enviable that I had to dedicate my biro to this.

First of all, a moment of silence for a Christ embassy brother somewhere, applying gel and hair relaxer on his head. Right now as you read this, an adult male somewhere is partaking in some form of fascist cosmetics in order to come close in appearance to his venerated Pastor Chris Onyakhilome; their idol of a general overseer. I heard if you are an adult male in the crew and you haven't applied some gel and hair relaxer, then you are a novice. The sisters, droll for the brother who speaks, looks and act Pastor Chris.

To the fellas: Is there any Christ Embassy female you are wooing and she is not giving in? Now, take my generous advice to the casino:

Go get your hair some laxative product, practice some Pastor Chris accent and then memorize his fuzzy lines. Get a clean white suit. Learn to technically use words like "Zoe", "Rhapsody", "Grace", "Different", etc. Most importantly, spew your garbage very beautifully; you know that soft-madness they call "speaking-in-tongues"? Get it right.

So you walk-up to your "embassy" sister target with your curly hair, a Pastor Chris smile on a white suit and of course amble graciously like the venerated idol, and then begin with the Pastor Chris accent:

"Hey sister, you are the "Zoe" of the year, the prophecy of the century; the one who Isaiah spoke about. You are the Rhapsody of our time, for the Grace of your beauty shall make nations fall at thy feet. Because of the supernatural auction of the word on you, you shall suck the breast of Kings and become the envy of nations. All things are mine in the holy ghost; I speak you into my bedroom lapasantrakado! Pepelepekendato! Meme suntafantakando!" And boom! It is done. Lest I forget, be sure to have Pastor Chris' posters in your apartment, use it for your mobile wallpaper. Play Pastor Chris sermons and some Sinach's music in your car stereo. Be 100% "Christic" and I swear she'll be in between the sheets performing the holy ghost show.

Ever attended a Christ Embassy service and listen to their sermon? If the preacher is to preach for 60 minutes; 40 minutes of sermons goes this way: "Pastor Chris says....", "Pastor Chris once said...", "I remember when Pastor Chris talked about...", "I learned from pastor Chris that...." Etc. The remaining 20 minutes will be dedicated to motivational lines and rhetorics like "You are different!" "You are the salt of the earth", "where men fail, you shall succeed", "Let the world see the excellence in you", etc. And most importantly the organizational soft-madness called "Speaking-in-tongues", is never missing in action. Christ embassy has remixed their with version spices like "holy-ghost laughter", "Holy-ghost worship", etc. If you're bored on a sunday morning, just visit a branch and see the beauty of organizational mental fascism.

One thing that seduces me about them is their holy secularism. In this christian sect, there is little discrimination on the appearance of a person. Wear dreadlocks, tattoos, mini-skirts, low-waist jeans, sagging pants or even walk into their auditorium with a bikini, nobody cares. "To the pure, all things are pure", they say. Their open-arms to all is unequal; Pastor Chris is not a limited minded pastorpreneur. I am so inspired!

Yes, business man I say. Don't kill me dear pastor "Christists". Isn't the gospel a business? The biblical Jesus once called it "my father's business." Do not crucify my garrulous ass please. I know you all can catch a grenade for Pastor Chris and throw same for him. I pledge allegiance!

The Christ Embassy clan are the most intelligent and creative of all the Christian sects in Nigeria. An average Christ embassy churchgoer is more tolerant, open-minded and creative than their other sky-band counterparts in Nigeria. Put a Christ embassy member side by side with a TB Joshua patronizer or a Lazarus Mouka crew member, the mentality of the Christ Embassy fellow surpasses the rest.

They have a way of making their "shit" sound intelligent by applying some fancy verbiages and pseudo-philosophical rhetoric to sound nice. But shit is shit no matter how hard you try to package it in a beautiful bag. Once you open it up, it still greets your nose with it's reputable reception.

Imoh "Son of David" is an Nigerian atheist. An author, publisher and business man and he writes from South Africa. Follow him on Twitter @ImohDavid.