₦airaland Forum

CharlotteFlair:
Resist the urge to shalaye. It is what it is.

O su mi o

Ewo logun epistle

franchasng:
My dear sister (I am guessing u are a lady from you replies so far lol), there is nothing wrong in this. Go to Facebook and see thousands of Nigerian guys married to foreign women genuinely and now living their dream lives as interracial families. I also know a lot of successful marriages between Nigerian guys in Nigeria and Nigerian ladies abroad, dont say never okay?


You guys should stop seeing these things as big deal. Do you know how we Nigerian men doing well financially enjoy splashing money on our women? It gives us joy. One of my friends just sponsored his wife on a trip to tour Europe next month. She is going alone, he said he will stay with the kids that let her go and enjoy life life a single lady. The joy of being financially successful is in spending it, making people genuinely happy, uplifting people including side chics, etc.


Free your mind my dear, there is nothing in this life okay, whenever u can help anybody with what you have, pls do it and don't bother much about if they would appreciate it or not, heaven and the book of life will never forget your good deed

okaydokey

Those people got a lot of time of their hands

2026

I'm still reading these type of threads? Wetin una chat dey lead to self ?

franchasng:
So our ladies doing well abroad should start helping our guys back home and at the same time help their own life too, it will go a long way in transforming Nigeria for good . When God bless us, it's not meant for you alone or you and your family alone to enjoy, it is meant to also uplift others. This has always been my motto and I can always beat my chest and say I have done well in this aspect and still doing with joy

Tufiakwa!

Arrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh

Not this again!!!

Some of you don't even remember the most meaningful conversation you've had with yourselves.

CharlotteFlair:
Effing gold diggers everywhere.

I like your moniker. One of My favourite 😍

franchasng:
He will if the woman is bringing as much goodies as this white lady brought to him, but unfortunately our Nigerian sisters hardly do this; there are plenty of them doing very well financially abroad, single to the core but to go back to Nigeria to marry one struggle young man and help his destiny and also help her own, they will rather die single and lonely abroad and waste that western citizenship and opportunities God gave to them which they ought to use to help other people's lives too, black women are too stingy honestly, I am sorry to say this

So?

timidapsin:
Nigerian ladies won't like this.

No we don't. So?

Belurved1:
Who say make she enter that marriage? Naa God abi!!! it's well, amen.

Me I know understand your response "can't remarry at least not immediately." Lol

Lol I laugh when I see people who expect God to work like Crystal ball revealing all things from A-Z or like a Remote controlling minds of men 100%. There's freewill and there's a place for human cooperation in the grand scheme of things. Even if God shows you your partner, you still have the responsibility as a person to make the marriage work, and your partner can still decide not to follow God's plan for your marriage and stray. That's life.
It's left for you to go back to God to know the next step to take.

So uncle, if God ask her to marry the man and along the line the man stray, he will save his own. You get? What makes a God ordained marriage work is alignment not prophecy.

Yes Separated Christians can't remarry and if at all they later do, it won't be immediately. It as God leads. Remember I said Christains not Church goers ooo. Ehn ehn I can't shalaye much.

folake4u:
Hi Pina.

Yeah he's good, just busy with work and all.

Good to know.

Thank you for your response.

Best Regards.

Proserpinaa.

pocohantas:
My sister the matter tire me. He is coming with his friends to Morocco. As in, his friends are jobless they all left what they are doing to fly with him to meet a Nigerian woman. Not in her country, but a racist N.African country. He should come to Nigeria to see her and they can stay in Lagos. Lagos is not on the list of cities marked as unsafe for foreigners.

Lol I don't even understand why she would want to play the black woman card when it's a common knowledge that North Africans are racist towards other Africans. It's the suicide part that got me laughing self 🤣 😂 😆 .

She should sha be careful, some of these white men are mentally unstable o. I can't shout justice for anyone o.

folake4u:
Lol this was my house too.

My mum bought us plates, spoons and cup according to our favourite colours. My plates, spoon and cup was blue, you CANNOT use another kid's plate for yourself.

Hi Folake

I want to ask you something.

I've not been seeing Nazgul's posts and his last seen is Dec. Hope he's good.

ChizzyBuna:
You fit suffer finish commit suicide.
Come reincarnate as Almajiri for Borno

No kill me with laugh

You want to commit suicide because you aren't able to see your oyinbo? Lol

Belurved1:
God told you to leave your marriage... Ke!!!
So no be devils work again.... Plenty cases full go full heaven that day o.

So you think God will allow a wandering prick infect his daughter with disease?

They can be separated as Christians but can't remarry at least not immediately.

Irrespective of what anyone types here, I'd still prefer to be left alone if I say No.

A lot is going through many people ( pun intended) out there that's why it's advised to be kind to everyone. If you can't make them smile, don't make them frown.

essentialone:
You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.

And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.

*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*

1. *Too many options, zero filters*
Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.

2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation*
The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.

3. *Timeline mismatch*
She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.

4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor*
These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.

5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded*
A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.

6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose*
Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.

*What happens to these women?*

You listed it:
*Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later.
*Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God.
*Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.

And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.

*What the market isn’t saying out loud*

1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women*
Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.

2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment*
It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.

3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious*
He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.

*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*

Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.

1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.

2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.

3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.

4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.

5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.

6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.

*What men need to hear too*

If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready:
1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.”
2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year.
3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.

Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.

*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.

These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”.

Chatgpt

As you open thread for us to discuss them, na you we go still send back go do research on them . You can come gist us wetin you see.

Of all things to worry about in Nigeria , na why some women no dey relationship you wan make we dey yarn? No nah

Brandiebird:
Imagine! How to be A MAN! And every single point is focusing on Her 😂. Simping promax 😭

I just tire

Still women centered.... lol una never ready.

essentialone:
I hate it when people try to act as Saints when they are not.

Shove your hate into the deepest hole in your body. No one really cares here.

He loves himself most


Kk

franchasng:
Pilot, what a miserable job Nigerians worship like its something I don't even gerrit


God forbid any of my children ever becoming one

Miserable job?

Omoooohhh make I no talk.

essentialone:
Based on your post.

I be moral saint

essentialone:
A Selective Moralist is the one who chooses what immorality to engage in, and what immorality not to engage in.

Or are you a Moral Saint?

And you called me one, why?

essentialone:
That means you are a Selective Moralist.

Explain.
Maybe I'd get you.

illicit:
What is the name of this bar pls...

Help your brothers

The comment I was expecting

lilvicky68:
This kind of decision is very hard when you dont have a third option

There's a third option:

He can leave both women.