₦airaland Forum

adesola89:
6 hand shakes. check the answer by using combination formula.

And you're so right(just used the formula). I need to leave this thread. I'm already seeing double, taxing the parts of my brain that I haven't used in a while.
There's a reason people study for exams, haba.

Femlexx:
I think 6 is the right ans

I'm now thinking it should be 12. Since one of them can only shake the other 3 guys. So 3 handshakes per 1 person * 4= 12...

hizick14:
If 4 people attended a party and all of them shake each other, how many handshakes took place?

9?
Modified
Should be 12 right?

KingLennon:
Those tiny food particles put on a trap to attract a fish is called ...........

A lure... Yippee

ReneeNuttall:
FRENCH

Vous habitez ou?

ReneeNuttall:
FRENCH

Vous habitat ou?

JideJamez:
who is the most corrupt living politician in Nigeria

I laughed really good when I saw this post. Ha, gosh... Nairaland be making people's day since 1847. Lols

KingLennon:
A mark left on the body after someone has been injured is called ..............

A wound? A scar?


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MisterKings:
1k for 3gig? Abeg wetin be the code

*144#

From what I can deduce in the writeup, I think they had a court wedding without the engagement/traditional part. Probably in the hopes that they'll do that part, when he's "boxed" up. Which he apparently never did...




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Bluestreams:
I never said she is "Lazy". I said "Slow". They are two different words.

Love the fact that you defended her here by clarifying(You still have the protective feelings towards her, which in my books translates to: There's still hope for you guys)... Could you also clarify to those that can't discern well and just looooove jumping to conclusions, that you never said that she can't cook or clean.

MadCow1:
Thanks for the response. So my post to you now will be measured because I haven't heard from your wife.

Now you used the word "compassionate" as the opener to some of the things that attracted your wife to you. This says to me she is a reasonable person of sorts.

Here is my advice;

You both need to find a nice relaxing place where you both can sit and discuss. Talk about what your two years of marriage has been like and also discuss a way forward. I realise that some of these discussions are easier said than done so I implore you to write down everything. The things you love about your marriage and the things you would like to change (don't say hate). You said she talks over you so you need to have alot of patience. Allow her talk and wait until she is finished. And it's important you both approach this discussion with an open mind and heart more with the intention of listening to each other than speaking. A pen and paper is key. When she is speaking, write down the points she is making and what you don't understand, seek clarification. Communication is the key in every relationship.

Money! Money!! Money!!! Without money in a relationship, the troubles always escalates. It's easy to lose sight of plans and the future and get consumed by those issues. Attitudes change because of this and many times its subconscious. I have seen this before and it's never pleasant. I would never advise a Man to get married let alone have a kid without a steady means of income.You both need to sit together and discuss finance and planning with a roadmap towards financial independence. You both seem to have ideas for businesses you want to run. In that discussion, find which one of both of your businesses is most likely to succeed faster and is cheaper to start and channel all your resources into it. If the finances are not readily available, then you need to convince her to go back to work with a time line for when she would be able to leave the job and enter into a business. I understand what it feels like to work a job you don't like and it's very mentally draining and demoralising. So you must be gentle, reassuring but firm in trying to get her back to work.

On the issue of Church, I consider it to be a non- issue as such. Both of you find a new church that is neither hers nor yours and build your camp there. That is the best solution to this. I never advise couples to attend different churches cos these Pastors these days can be quite destructive.

On your parents.. I think a common mistake people make in marriage is that they fail to understand that being married cuts you from your biological family. I am not saying you shouldn't have a relationship with your folks but your primary allegiance is to your wife and kids first. So if you realise that your wife and your folks don't get along as such then it's your duty to shield and protect her from them and vice versa on her part regarding her family. You must learn to manage that relationship between her and your family. Don't send her over to your folks alone cos that's a recipe for disaster. So find a way to manage that. Don't discuss your wife or marital problems with your family and she shouldn't with hers either. You are both in this marriage together. Outside influence especially that of family is almost always biased and often times destructive. You must manage how much information on your marriage you share with either family. Also sternly put down your foot and tell your wife that she must never discuss your family with anybody. If she fails to adhere you can kick her out to go stay with her folks for a while or something like that. That shiit has got to stop.

Finally, I am never going to be an advocate for divorce especially when a kid is involved, but that notwithstanding, there is a limit to what anybody should endure in a relationship. I just feel like 3 years is too short to arrive at such a drastic approach. Communication is always the key. Try to talk to one another. Issues on chores are resolvable. You guys are financially tight otherwise I would have suggested a maid (not a child). Maybe take turns to do them. If you can cook as well as you say, do it and gently coax her back into the kitchen. Approach is key to every thing. Also sleeping in separate rooms is a NO NO. I have found that many conflicts in marriages are resolved on the matrimonial bed (not always with sex). Sometimes simply cuddling to sleep immediately after a fight can resolve a conflict without an apology.

All the best in your marriage Bro and hopefully this period will pass soon and fast and be forgetten in no time.

Stay Blessed.

_MadCow

This guy's comments also makes a lot of sense, take it. At the part I "boldened" in his comments, your wife seriously needs to adhere to it(If she only knew what that her neighbour(s) marriage is truly like/passing through, then she'll know that they're the "wrongest" people to share with).
Bottomline is that when you do find yourselves/marriage in a situation where you think you need external intervention, talk to a stranger(e.g: Counsellor(s)). This is due to the fact that they have no previous personal vested interests in either of you, so, they can be impartial.

Now, on a lighter note, I really love that kissing advice(lols). It might be hard the first or second time(due to the fact that you guys are currently quarreling), but it will get amusing with time. And it will be fun for you to watch her become off-balance with confusion because she doesn't know what you'll do next(who says relationships, marriage included, doesn't involve one form of manipulation or the other?). On her own part, she'll just jejely adjust, as she will see and realize that you're not taking life too hard.

Also, you need to adjust your mindset, cause I sense(sorry if I'm wrong), some sort of arrogance from you towards her in matters of finance, now that things have started picking up for you. Because, you wrote somewhere up there that when you do become a millionaire? she'll be relegated to one side? But at the same time you said that she wasn't stingy with hers when she had(she might not have been a millionaire, but trust me, that money was like millions to her, because they were all she had), and you still keep insisting that it's not about the money.
So I'm sure you can understand my confusion right now, that if it's not about the money like you're saying, why such statement from you? Once again, adjust your mindset on that issue.
Cos the way money makes love sweeter, is the same way love makes money sweeter.

PS: All these still doesn't mean that you guys won't have anymore fights, it just means that when you do fight, you'll be able to do so with love and understanding.

discman2k2:
Firstly, your marriage IS NOT PECULIAR. I mean, urs is not d only one experiencimg this kind of marital issues.
I am almost 10 in my marriage, & i already have several kids, with my first kid over 7 yrs & in Prim 3. So, i think I've had a little bit experience in marriage to say one or two piece of advice.

Bro, u must LEARN to be patient with women. Especially, newly married women. They act like kids if they're the type that got married at a young age - they lack appreciation of what marriage is. I'm not judging but speaking out of what i've seen.
Also, your marriage is STILL INFANTILE so don't rush DIVORCE, pls. Boy/Girlfriend relationship isn't same as marriage relationship. You both need to BE PATIENT WITH EACH OTHER & concentrate your love on your first child & LEARN. Learn what you'll say! Pls speak to your wife about the need for bothering of you to learn ABOUT EACH OTHER: each Weaknesses & Strengths - and COMPLEMENT each other in every single opposite way. Meaning if your wife is weak, be her strength in that area; & if every area she's strong in, develop it more by encouraging words & complements, etc.
See, someone once told me when my marriage was less than 5 years, that it requires about 5 years for a marriage to mature to the point of couples tolerating each other. Truly, now some of the things i used to do that irks my wife, she now tolerates, & vice versa.
ALWAYS LEARN A MORE DIPLOMATIC OR WISE WAYS OF TELLING HER ABOUT HER WEAKNESS & HOW SHE SHLD IMPROVE ON IT.
This takes tact, but i must encourage you both to be faith pursuers, therefore, praying together.
If you are a Christian, then I'd say: build your home on the foundation of Christ.
1) Always pray together holding hands, morning & before bed
2) Always call each other pet names, no real name calling
3) Always discuss issues together intoto (boosts communication)
4) Always make sure YOU DON'T INVOLVE 3rd PARTIES TO YOUR ISSUES, U CANT WASH YOUR DIRTY LINEN IN THE PUBLIC (it'll backfire later on & ull both regret it). Don't forget YOU'RE TEAM, NOT ENEMIES.
5) Anyday you quarrel in the day, encourage making up by initiating Love making at night ( Morning shld not meet u in strife )
6) Strive hard to meet your family needs, give her gifts, buy her surprise Suya, Iced cream, goodies, etc. Women love gifts, & the giver too. DEVELOP A PRINCIPLE OF NEVER COLLECTING FROM YOUR WIFE, not all women are considerate in evaluating your situation. A MAN'S PRIDE IS TAKING GOOD CARE & PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY. God will always give you if you're wont to giving his treasure entrusted in your domain.
7) PLAY TOGETHER, DINE OUTSIDE ONCE IN A WHILE, PLAY EASY GAMES AT HOME, VISIT FOLKS TOGETHER, WATCH PROGRAMS TOGETHER : bottomline, do things TOGETHER, it strengthens relationship & makes u miss each other when separated.
FINALLY, BE REAL GOOD FRIENDS TO EACHOTHER. DON'T SEEK FOR A WIFE IN HER, SEEK FOR A FRIEND. YOU'LL FIND IT EASIER TO TOLERATE A FRIENDS SHIT THAN A WIFE S. FRIENDS LAST LONGER. AFTERALL YOU STARTED AS FRIENDS.
May God pour a new wine on your marriage & give it a freah zest of life & light.
Amen.

specter:
Women are not complicated bro. Women are like babies. They speak certain words you won't understand. I have had cos to talk my woman down like I would a kid and watch her cry and then pet her like a elder would.
I also have my flaws and she is allowed to speak her mind too but I a soft way. She has washed me clean and dry on several occassion with being insultive and bro.
I felt bad but could do nothing cos she was speaking the truth and she needs to tell her husband the truth as a mother would her kid.
We didn't get there by chance, it took work and encouragment. I always encouraged her to talk to me on how she feels. And believe me , we are having the best time. Always understand your woman as you would your kid and she will be forever loyal. But. above all, learn to manage manage your home as a man. You must defend, provide and care .

Hello Op, these are the advices that you should adhere to. See the few number of likes they garnered? This should serve as a reminder to you that other people rarely want you to come out victorious in your endeavours(a happy marriage definitely included), and would rather you joined them in their own current status(let everything spoil sef, and let the husband and wife go their own way). What they don't say on here, is the suffering that they're currently going through...

Bottomline is that if she leaves, she'll regret it. If you make her leave, or watch her leave, you'll regret it.
PS: She really doesn't want to leave, if she wanted to, she would have already left. But it doesn't mean that you should watch her build her resolve to the point where she does leave.
Help her, Help yourself!!!

That being said, this woman loves you, and you still love her(you're just doing yourself the disservice of focusing on her not so perfect characters right now). See how you just briefed over the areas of her not being stingy, but rather open-handed, when she was the one providing for your family? Well, stop doing this. Instead, good characteristics of hers like this, are what you should be focusing on(I'm very sure you know them all, you just chose to tell us only one).

I also want to let you in on a secret, she's secretly detests herself for all the nagging, and keeps wondering how you turned her into someone like that. But the truth of the matter is just like Billyonaire said up there, she's just bone tired.

So once again, I'll say this, help yourself by helping her. Take the advises of the two men I quoted up there and start living a happy and fulfilled marriage.

Modified.............

I'll like to go one step further and tell you to drop whatever you're doing right now, and pm them, call them, Whatsapp them, or whatever... They have the best interests of you, your wife, and your marriage at heart. Also, since they're males they'll be able to give you one or two tips from that angle.

But most important, is to go into this mending of fences with an open heart. Don't play eye services to their advises and God will see you through...

Loyalblak007:
Sorry I don't really know the public bus route, but all I know is, If you can get to Obalende, CMS, or TBS, it'll be easier.


Cos Banana island is just like 30 mins drive from those places, You can take a bus or ask at the bus station or garage


And once you get to Banana island Gate, I guess you should be able to navigate from there

Thanks...

Loyalblak007:
Are you driving?

No, I'm not. I'm taking public transportation.