₦airaland Forum

Juliearth:
That was me saying one's happiness should not be dependent on what is not tenable. Seek it from the simplest of things that are at your disposal. Life isn't meant to be as complex as we are making it be.

But where did he say it is not tenable
Here is what he wrote:
"There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone"

His soul is clearly telling him something. I don't think what it is telling him is to go inwards, isolate himself more!

And how do we know this is not blogger content??

tfelicityk:
What happened to the married woman too?

MarianaTrench:
Good question

Here she is below

Double0h7:
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to redirect your attention inwards.

Show yourself love, compassion, and kindness. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself.

Focus on your own self development, set goals for yourself and enjoy the dopamine boost when you achieve them.

The world mirrors back our beliefs and thoughts, so consider what you’re putting out there. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Don’t let these current feelings trick you into further self sabotage (looking for those things outside your marriage) and cause you to further hate yourself.

"Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself." - hmmm, not sure about that. Maybe, but it won't be same as getting it from another

Good write-up tho

Kobojunkie:
1. The problem with these statements of yours is that it fails in recognizing the source of lack — loneliness — you feel. Loneless is a result of inner emptiness . No amount of external affection, attention, connection, romance, passion, etc., can cure emptiness. The solution has to come from within yourself —self-love.

2. Capable of love, or performance of love? I am of the mind that one is not able to love if one does not first love oneself. You say you are still capable of love, insinuating that you have been loving all this time before now. Is this really the case? I suggest you consider carefully what you think love is, and consider whether it has instead been you playing a part which you confuse with love. Love comes from a whole inside, not one battling loneliness. Please consider becoming more self-focused so you can once and for all resolve the reasons why you still have yet to love yourself more than anything else first. 🥱🥱

1) Not true. This is all theory. In reality positive interaction with familiar people who know you cures loneliness.
3) Another theoretical nonsense. You can fully love another and even be willing to die 4 them and it has nothing to do with loving yourself!

Kobojunkie:
Loneliness is resolved by way of loving oneself. As OP has clearly shown, marriage does not and cannot resolve that problem. Even if her husband suddenly changes. 🥱🥱🥱

Loving yourself is not enough. After a while you need human interaction with familiar people who know you

ufy4success:
There are many questions i will like to ask but i will let you ask and answer them. Marriage is a life long journey its best to always do it with who loves and you love too. I may not know the genesis but a relationship the partner is not willing to work things out. I'd advise you seek peace, its either you tell the hard truth or keep living this way because over time you'd become a bitter person.
Sorry, but i feel there was no love initially and maybe the marriage was forced. Hope you find peace and healing. 🙏

Pure nonsense. People madly in love may want to kill each other 6 months down the road. Happens all the time. Also, people change and evolve - that's human nature!

Tenrack:
I'm also single. Beta start to dey learn to love yourself and your own company.

Yeah, yeah, but after a while you get tired of your own company. Especially watching people socializing on social media

Tenrack:
But you saw all these signs prior, yet you shuuk head because he was ready ba

Do you know how he was in the beginning? Do you know how long they've been married?

kiddaz:
None is perfect including your spouse and yourself. So I wouldn't bother myself with whatever you did or he did that made things go south. Start by loving yourself first the way no one else can. Nobody has it all and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Make time for yourself. Sometimes loneliness gets heavy especially when no one is there after all the world shuts down. Live more, laugh more, love more and fear nothing because one day you will wake up to find out there's really not enough time to even live so why focus on the negatives? Life is too short it's why I only focus on the positive in everything and shut down every form of negativity and it has made me a far better man than I ever was. Enjoy your life. You will never have the chance twice.

Well said. Voice of experience

Phraences:
We introverts can’t relate. So sorry

Depends what you spend your introvert time doing. If you spend it watching people socializing, then...
Besides, after a while u get tired of your own company and akso aware people are wondering about you!

advanceDNA:
If I ask you now...when was the last time you were all over your spouse? Initiate a surprise outing,? When was the last time you seduced your partner....?? Make your spouse feel desired...?? When was the last time u got home first and sent ur spouse a message that made him rush home to be with you...

The thing is y'all like one sided effort.....y'all expect the other person to keep the spark alive.....it's always the responsibility of the other person.....not me....

If u ask them too....they probably have the same complain as you......

Life happens....pple have to go to work and get tired when the day is over....if y'all are not deliberately intentional with investing in your relationship.....the spark will just fizzle out and become the everyday norm....

Did you read where she said she's "Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent."?
Bedides, what if he's sending clear signals he doesn't want any of these from you and it actually irritates him. He just want you to be

Juliearth:
And there's nothing stopping you from achieving that... the only obstacle is "you". Whilst you may find true happiness and companionship in a person, nobody says you cannot find it whilst doing the things that you love...

The is like saying the warmth you get on a cold day from another human body lying next to you is same as the heat you get from a heater!

QuinQQ:
😆 Well said. Dtruthspeaker guy won't know the truth if it hit him in the face.
This actually deserves Frontpage

We made it - Frontpage!
Sexyrosey you only have 13 posts and already on Frontpage with your first topic😅
While people like my buddy here have millions of posts and topics and never smell Frontpage!😂

wellmax:
Pastor: No name
Church: No name

Story: Not confirmed

But since it will be for the bashing of pastors , it’s already on front page.

So in your mind this mob below is part of a skit?

They showed the.pastor and the woman

Dtruthspeaker:
See, deflection. That means that i am right. You are the same as QueenQQ

Yes I'm Sexyrosey. I confess. Didn't know it'd be so easy to detect it despite all my coverup.
Everybody, we have a real genius here. Clap for him!

RealtorJoseph:
I can if you want me to take the stress off you, I love easing most of my clients burden from land purchase to starting foundation to offering you key to your 3 BED ROOM BUNGALOW+BQ OR 4 BEDROOM BUNGALOW+BQ

Let me take care of you concern, no omonile wahalla, no future encumbrances on your purchased property.

Let make it work

'Preciate the response. Will be in touch

jaxxy:
I obviously used the word bully as control her husband not anything physical. u are talking about psychos. I deal with such scenarios. His size won't help him in a sane society.

If you say they're unusually equal and non bullys or controls the other, then a physically larger presence offers obvious advantages - from lifting heavy stuff to reaching higher shelves to being a deterant to any dormant urge to bully or control.

So you see, however you slice it, there are advantages to being taller and stronger that your wife.
YOU LOSE!😅

jaxxy:
Nope I was talking about a sane couple and environment not where u have to physically restrain anyone. its not normal in sane relationships.

A "sane couple" where the wife bullys and controls the husband - in that case the husband uses his size to hold her without hitting her!

So you see my boy, either way, YOU LOSE!!!!!!!!

.

Kobicove:
I don't have the energy to click any link to watch the video.

The people who watched it should confirm to us if it's real or a skit

Skit or babalawo arrangee to drum up biz.
There was one also recently, also fake.
How you know if these things are real:
1) Details as to who, where, when
2) What is the aftermath. Relatives, people, and the husband would make statements, complain, etc. If the entire story ends with the video - FAKE!

anifranklyn67:
This one the blow grammar, don't worry until you fall a victim

U never hear about "Ogbaa ohiri" before
Isorite!!!

It is neither. It is fake video
But if there were juju to make this happen, cheating would disappear and the inventor of the juju would be rich!

ogbe88:
U go wait tire.

Waiting 4 what?? I said "if they at all can". It's a long shot. But it's a no-brainer that's what they'd like - purely because of money. Because without Nigeria, less money!

Sexyrosey:
Are you sure you are not the OP? Because you seem very invested in refreshing the post 😂.

😆 Well said. Dtruthspeaker guy won't know the truth if it hit him in the face.
This actually deserves Frontpage
dominique, nlfpmod, sean

Dtruthspeaker:
Lover boy, go, answer her vall and give her your love. You will see whether it is me who shall cry in regret. And you will remember me

Hmmm! It looks like you and the op are the same person. We'll see anyway

I bet you never even read her posts. Go read them - they were only 7 when I checked. And you'll see you're kinda making a fọọl of yiurself.
Such an obviously heartfelt issue

jaxxy:
short women are not intimidated by their tall partners. infact sometimes these short girls bully and control their huge partners because they know the partners dare not go violent on them or other unknown power balance reasons.

Their huge size doesn't guarantee them respect either. Lol.

Sorry my point still holds.

😆You forget YOU shifted the argument into "non-toxic" only, where all things are equal and no one bullys or needs to be held - in which case mere size is deterrant and protective advantage. Now you've shifted it back to "short girls bully and control", you can hold the girl (without "go violent".
So you see, either way YOU LOSE!!!😅

InvestSmart:
Oh, you mean those wealthy men are still single? Your story source must be very laughable 😁

Read below and have a good laugh at yourself

Dtruthspeaker:
Do you not know women Lie a lot?

She's been here since 2024 and it is now, 2yrs after that she is claiming married. And yet, any sharp person will see that she is not.

Even the name tells you.
The signs are all there.

But, if you want to go and comfort her and play knight in shining armour while she sings your praise, telling you how wonderful you are and how she would have died if you did not come along as she throws herself dangerously (seemingly) into your eager waiting happy arms and body and soul. As she makes you feel that you are the bestest man in the whole universe; in fact she would make you feel that you are better than God as she worships and adores you.

So, please go ahead and enjoy all these pleasures you can see waiting for you, Mr lover. In your great hunger to love a woman, you have become desperate that at this slightest invitation of love, you have gone skipping into a very terrible world called ', love is blind"

Whereas, Love is not blind but love uses its eyes and ears and thinks and searches to uncover secrets , secrets which have been disclosed by elders and others who have been in such situations.

However, you ou are free not to listen to my warning that it is a set up a very old one for that matter. But it always works and it is only now that men are real eyesing that it is a set up.

But, who shall stop a young man from falling into "love"?

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment," Mark Twain

So, i guess you have to experience, i pray that it is not the most horrible one you get turning to another story we would read and another young man will still not listen to, and the circle continues.
Well, i love reading what happens to people

Something is seriously wrong with you. Someone who never comments on NL was finally pushed to comment due to an issue that touched her heart, then she created a thread about same issue. And u say it's all fake. R u ok sir?

Switruth:
Only criminals derailing the US won't love Trump. The man has come to sanitize his land.

Criminals and LGBTQATXM3²ST56

Dtruthspeaker:
Your screenshot has proven me right. No married woman ever says that

Something is wrong with you. Check out her profile and her responses on this thread.
That's her very first post on Nairaland since registering her account in April 2024