₦airaland Forum

RisenPhoenix:
Sometimes it is best to clarify your stance from the beginning; nipping the problem in the bud so to speak. If she believes that she is so indispensable that she can maltreat your daughter; she will likely try to do so in your absence. Hints like this tend to bring them back to earth and make them understand their true value is proportional to their sensible behaviour, not their 'majestic aura' and 'awesome presence'.

Fair point but if it was me, she would have clearly seen my stand on issues like this when we were dating. If I had child/children from a prior relationship, be ready to take all of it. If you start seeing my daughter/son as a competition, don't even bother to come close.

Old people get bored easily. I'd say you first investigate the reason she's spending the night at your place before taking any action. You might also want to be a bit more accommodating of her.

Above all, never confront her. If you're sending any message about the issue, make sure your wife is the bearer. A lot of diplomacy is required in this regard. Employ a bit of body language/subtle messaging if you must have her stop. Encourage her to visit her other children too. Something like a rotation to host her per time.

ImaIma1:
If you are married, please never solve your issues with force, blackmail or showing that one is more important than the other.

It takes a diplomatic man and a man with wisdom to know how to tackle some issues.

If you know what a wife means, you will realize that she should be part of the decisions you make, not necessarily asking her permission but acknowledging her as one with you. You cannot stand at the alter and proclaim that you are one with her and then go back home and show otherwise.

Marriages that work mean both parties are on the same page, they have an understanding. Not someone trying to prove a point.

Finally, a woman that gets it!

RisenPhoenix:
I did not recommend that he send her away. But I do believe that he must point out clearly that it is an option if she persists in victimizing his daughter.

I completely understand your point but I would rather not use that line at all if I was in his position. There are other ways to deal with the issue. Let's just say I'm very vested in things I feel strongly about.

I also agree that men should be able to make some decisions unilaterally, especially if it's for the greater good of the family. Deferring to the wife all the time can be exhausting. The wife should be able to make some decisions too, so it goes both ways. What is more important is to see the main goal of the decision the other party makes, beyond the nose. Again, logic over emotions.

In a similar thread in this section, a man has the opportunity to move abroad and raise the living standard of his family but as usual, the wife refused for the most ridiculous reasons. That is beyond me. If it were a girlfriend, I'd dump her like a hot pile of shit!

RisenPhoenix:
@bolded. Explain this to the op's wife. She's the one who is trying to force and blackmail the op to put their son in the same school with his daughter and needlessly spend the extra money, or else...

Being on the same page does not necessarily translate into undergoing a lengthy bureaucratic procedure before decision making; especially when women think with their emotions. I am a better decision maker than my wife; hell, I make a living out of decision making. If I require her input in a decision that directly affects her I would always ask. However, this is hinged on the fact that she gives sensible reasons for her responses and advice; other than petty jealousy and other unproductive emotion. Once I suspect that the above two are her main decision making criteria, I will stop seeking her input.

We're quite alike.

When you love someone, they fulfill some needs. It doesn't have to be financial, it could be emotional needs. Heck, the concept of love is premised on the idea of fulfilling emotional needs first. Other things are secondary. Except the woman is trying to imply this, something is wrong. She either doesn't understand the statement or not finding the right words to describe her feelings for the man.

As usual, the women are here again to peddle their emotional selfishness. A medical professional who's supposedly to be on better financial standing is struggling even with two streams of income in a very bad economy. He sees an opportunity to better the family lot for a lifetime and generations to come but wife disagrees because of a petulant issue- one she started in the first place. Sad!

If you don't act on your instincts and make a move now, you'll build up resentment towards that same wife for being a cog in your wheel of progress and that could hamper even the said marriage. For those asking if he's written the exams first, I say to the OP- give it a shot. you miss %100 of the shots you don't take.

If you must stay with your brother when you move, make it the shortest possible stay ever or make plans to go straight to your own place from Nigeria when you move. It's doable with proper planning.

On a final note, make genuine moves to repair the relationship between your family and your brother's. You don't want bad blood coursing over generations because of two petty women. Address the issues without passing blames and own up where you're wrong.

This is the closest thing to any reasonable advise on this subject matter. Your wife is needlessly petty. Any advise here asking you to do it for the sake of peace is coming from a sentimental place. Women are a lot more concerned about their emotions rather than logic.

If you haven't given your wife any reason to doubt your love for her and your son, I don't see any reason why it should be a problem. I do not support you sending her away though; it's a matter of communication. Explain to her the reason as outlined by RisenPhoenix. Any other thing is bullsh*t.

All that talk about for the sake of peace is why we are in this situation as a country. Emotions over logic all the time. Tragic! Public offices are full of round pegs in square holes because someone's emotion/ego has to be massaged. We need to start making sound decisions right from the home-front.

RisenPhoenix:
Don't mind all these nay sayers. They are only thinking from a woman's perspective; illogically and competitively. Your decision is acceptable. It is not everything your wife says that you should rush to do. Nor do you have to consult her for every decision you plan to take to spend your own money.

The academic needs of a 9 year old about to enter secondary school are not the same as those of a 2 year old singing A B C. There is no point paying an extra N50K per term just to learn how to sing alphabet song and watch cartoons on tv. If your wife cannot understand that, and if she consequently starts victimizing your daughter, warn her off seriously. Let her know that if it comes to a choice, a wife is replaceable while your flesh-and-blood daughter can never be. Leave the younger one where he is until he NEEDS the new academic arrangement, not because your wife illogically feels the need to compete with a 9 year old girl, otherwise, your whole life will be forever ruled by a vindictive woman using the threat of victimization of a small girl to blackmail you.

MrFuckallday:
Morning. All y'all that need the materials should come together and nominate one person so I can send it to him or her to distribute to y'all. I can't send it personally to every that mentioned me.
I scored a 96

Please send it to me via marvinsmith007@gmail.com

I'm willing to send it to others

Igeoluwatobi:
Anybody still finding it hard to register for TOEFL Or SAT?

Please tell me how. I want to register for TOEFL.

Kindly share materials with if you have, please.

Thank you!

Igeoluwatobi:
Anybody still finding it hard to register for TOEFL Or SAT?

Please tell me how. I want to register.

crowntoro:
...

Would you be kind enough to share practice materials with me via marvinsmith007@gmail.com

Thanks

Igeoluwatobi:
I have some materials avail

Would you be kind enough to share with me via marvinsmith007@gmail.com

Thanks

MrFuckallday:
Ion think this miracle lady has any materials on toefl. Pm me so I can send to you. Also mention me when you send the pm so I'd know. Glad to help

Hi,

I'd appreciate if you can share the practice material with me via marvinsmith007@gmail.com

Thanks

Hello Good People,

Anyone knows where and how to register for this TOEFL exams should recommend. I see quite a number of them (agencies) online but don't know which one is reputable.

I'd also appreciate free study materials.

Thanks

abujaniv:
Hello RagnarKlavan -

You can apply in advance.

Ok.

Thanks

Hello Abujaniv,

I'd like to know if one can apply for a renewal of B1/B2 visa ahead of its expiry date, like 2 or 3 months in advance.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
Then there is something more to this. Early morning erections are meant to be frequent and strong. Well just follow the advice i gave you as regards your diet, exercise and consumption of refined or processed foods. All will be well.

Thanks for this. Will do as advised

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
What is the frequency of your morning erections in a week? Before the genesis of your low sex drive, where you experiencing weak or no morning erections?

It's been daily but I noticed it was off on two occasions. And it's not as hard as it used to be.

All of these started over 2 weeks ago

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
From what you have written up there, you are going through a phase of emotional distress. Sex is more emotional than physical and a little emotional distress can triger low sex drive. In as much as a good heart and blood vessels are needed for a well pumped penile muscles to do the "damage", your mind must be "focused" and devoid of "emotional distress" or else premature ejaculation cum low sex drive comes to bear.

Don't even think of popping any pills. You don't need them. You can eat foods that still boost sex drive like watermelon, bananas, unripe plantains, tigernuts, dates, ginger, garlic, eggwhites. Morealso exercise well and abstain or minimize your consumption of refined or processed foods.

Thanks for your response.

Does low sex drive also affect morning erections? On a couple of occasions, I noticed I wake up soft. Lastly, it safe to say it's a phase, right?

I need more opinions, please

Hi Docs in the house

I'm hoping I can get useful advice and opinions here.

I'm a 29 year old, sexually active male. Recently, my sexy drive dipped and it's giving me serious concerns. I've never had to use any aphrodisiac for sex and I'm really hesitant about it.

I seem to have gone from that Hot dude to trying to be excited about anything sex. It just seems like that part of my brain dealing with such issues and emotions have gone to sleep

I've had a rough year, in terms of relationships. I got out of a really bad and emotional one. I've read several articles on this issue but I can't seem to find any respite. I don't know if it's a phase, a function of the hurt. A few opined I should try I should try sex enhancement meds.

Will I have to depend on that always to get my groove on?
Is this just a phase?
Am I being unreasonably paranoid?
Is there anyone out there who has been through this before?
How can I get back to my old self?
Are there any safe and natural meds to use?

Please come to my aid.

I'm here to answer any questions

Thanks