₦airaland Forum

LoJ:
Otemsapien, Analice107, Ranchoddas, SAS

Please, can you guys bring this issue out of here. I wonder. You people have been discussing this issue for ages now. Why not just move on... This thread has already suffered from many dramas, dont start another one here. Ohh my gawdd

Sorry.

analice107:
What goes around, comes around. You sowed this seed of betrayal, you shall reap it, and it will be when you had forgotten this.

Whatever.
No further derailments.

Loon.

bitchcrafts:
They say doggy allows the sperm hit the egg faster be4 the Y chromosome dies out. Have doggie, have cute male babies.

Bros who are they?

Daeylar:
Same here


Errrr... You can't say it's not as bad because some women do experience these things, therefore it is as bad for them, that's non debatable and you can't diminish their experience or shut them up because you feel it's not as bad.
Right on the 2nd part.




Nothing wrong with any of the above at all, and in the spirit of equality, do you mind if a woman feels that way towards others? Men and women? Towards you? Nothing wrong with that at all, just understand that if you want to protect a woman and she says she doesn't want the protection, there's nothing wrong with that also, or maybe she says the protection is going into controlling territory, then you guys can talk about boundaries, nothing wrong with that



Lol, the same way you knew our stand, by talking to them about topics that relate to this. Well if you meet women who are different you relate with them in a way that's beneficial to you both.

Points well taken.
Thanks.

RaggedyAnn:
Okay. This, I didn't expect. I commend your effort to try to be objective and civil. Of course I won't argue, today is better than twenty years ago. It's a process. Things are changing for women, but it's as a result of the effort advocates are putting in to make these changes happen.

I don't think any of those five misogynistic nuances I listed earlier would ever be mistaken for male chivalry by any type of woman. But if you want to know for sure what kind of woman you're dealing with and how you should act, then pay attention to her. Don't make assumptions and don't place her in a box of your choosing.

In all, though: Respects!

At least we agree on some things.

The gif is very apt.
Diana of Themyscira was my favourite JL character.

jerryunit48:
shouldn’t the incumbent lead such a campaign? Common sense you no gree get

Shut up.
He was unable to attend but sent a video message.

romeorailss:

Abeg u all. Bone Don hook me for throat o. I chop kote fish head. Pls who get remedy, home remedy

Swallow big EBA.

adepeter2027:
@embolden
Lmaoooooooo

Besides,
Lemme summon on the so called culprit

Cc otems apien
Oya fall in

Please let's not turn this to a circus. I am really upset that she had to bring this up again.

analice107:
He's been denying it, but Otem admited to have gotten the details from a friend on my WhatsApp, and no one else was on my WhatsApp from NL who wld do that.

I have forgiven him tho.

Stop being silly.

You cannot forgive a person for something he did not do.
I reject your forgiveness.

It is you who owes me an apology for false accusations.

Sarassin:
Really Analice? Having your picture and details plastered all over a public forum is tough. I am sorry to hear that.

Yeah it's bad. And when something bad happens to a person, they look for the easiest person to blame.
I was her own blame guy.

Do you know of a mystical way to tell if a person is lying remotely?
If you do please use it to tell this girl that she's very mistaken, if it's not a problem that is.

I am very sorry to involve you in this.

SoapAndSponge:
Ranchoddas?

Please, is this true?

You talked about sensing auras in a previous post and I remember reading somewhere that it is impossible to lie to a person who can sense auras as your aura will always give you away.

I categorically deny all her claims.
So can you tell if I'm lying.

RaggedyAnn:
You could have responded with an apology, : I'm sorry. I had no idea the pressures women endure in African society. . I know it's wishful thinking on my part to hope for you to be objective, because winning an argument is more important, to most Nigerians, than finding out truths. The best either of us can hope for is a draw. You don't accept my argument, and I don't accept yours. We are stubborn like that. But it's foolishness, really.

I'm glad you called the picture I painted grim. That's exactly what it is. At least you didn't let the details get lost in translation in order interpret the situation as you please - as something 'not so bad'. But then you say that it isn't the reality of many? Please! You are hardly qualified to make that judgement. It is he who wears the shoe that knows where it pinches. I started by asking you if you would stand back and let me tell you the misogyny I feel in society as a woman, or if you would rather presume to tell me of my own reality (a thing neither my father nor brother would presume to do. Or would be qualified to do). And here I have my answer.

They say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Whatever the reason for the prevalent misogyny doesn't stop the fabric of society from feeling rough against a woman's skin. Just as all the good intentions won't lower the temperature in Hell. My father would have his justifications for drumming into my ears, from early on, that a woman's place was in the kitchen and that she couldn't find happiness without a man. He wanted me to fit in, instead of sticking out like a sore thumb. I do not begrudge in the least way. My parents did the best they knew how to do. But sometimes a child is born with a very definitive self-knowledge that cannot be easily swayed.

You say that women need the male folk in our quest for equality. I didn't say anything about men being irrelevant or redundant in any of my earlier posts. You asked very specific questions (How is the Nigerian society misogynistic? Have I ever been denied anything which was given to my brother?) and I addressed just those. I am sure that you and I currently have very different views on what constitutes equality, so to delve into that matter now (or the matter of how a woman must stoop to conquer) would require more time than I am willing to commit right now.

I had an apology in mind when I typed the initial draft of my comment.
Between reading the other comments and watching a football match, it escaped my mind.
I am very sorry for all you've had to endure. I am also sorry for forgetting to include my apology in my previous comment.

---

I am objective in all my dealings (at least I try to be). I am also not a win-at-all-costs individual.
There is no argument to win anyway. You say women go through hell. I say it's not as bad as you paint it. I also say it's not as bad as it was 20 years ago (at least you won't argue with this).

Perhaps I was wrong to think that women want/need to be protected, that chivalry is something I should aspire to.
I take these lessons with all the humility I can muster.
But I fear that not all women think/feel this way. So I am faced with a new problem:
What do I do when I meet women who are not Daeylar and Raggedy? How do I even tell the difference?

analice107:
He is not old enough to run errants for my man, trust me. He knows me out of here and i know him too. He's a child.

Haba...
This is below the belt.

elbaraj001:
As a prophet..i foresee that your wife shall give birth to 4 galz..in your quest to find a boy she will give birth to a gal again...let me check clearly...okay...you will still want try fr the last time...and she will surprise you by giving you another last female child.
.that is my prophesy...

Lol.

If this happens, you know his would wife would suffer more right, she'll be blamed for not being able to produce a male child though the hex is on the man.
Think properly before you make that proclamation.

analice107:
lolzzzzzzz, Yeah, cross yourself a billion times, but know that when you grow old enough to have a chic, you can only wish.

You have a good sense of humor.

@Raggedyann
I have read and re-read your comments and I am not exactly sure how to respond.

I have typed and deleted several times in a bid to get my thoughts across to no avail.

---

You have painted a grim picture which is not the reality for many as far as I can see.
I'm sure sure that your brother and father would have something different to say if they were interviewed and in any case, whatever they did was done out of love and the best of intentions (This is important).

Also, for any progress to be made in your quest to attain equality, you still need the male folk.
If most men were as misogynistic as you all love to paint them, the progress you have made would have been stymied don't you think.
I still maintain that the dominance of the male gender is evolutionary and the purpose of this evolution cannot be to the woman's detriment.

A Nairalander Coolusername once argued that the perceived weakness of the female is actually strength.

Now that I think about it, maybe he was onto something that day.
I'll look for that thread and show you, perhaps you'd see things his way.

Here:

https://www.nairaland.com/4031922/why-there-more-atheistHere

Proudgorgeousga:
Yeah it is a human thing, but many societies have grown past that for a better egalitarian society. I also want Nigeria to grow past sexism and tribalism.

No these things are not fading they are very much alive and thriving especially among the ignorant.

@emboldened

what do you mean? so because there are people that managed to break the hold the culture had on them means that we should allow injustice to thrive?

In America during Jim crow black wall street was a prosperous community, I guess Martin Luther should never have marched after all wall street thrived during segregation and racism and is a product of that policy?

We are growing past it, albeit at our own pace.
That we discuss it daily on these boards is proof of growth.
NGOs and women emancipation agencies litter our landscape. This is progress.
Maybe I'm a glass half-full kind of person.
Anyway we should agree to disagree (or is it the other way round?)
Ultimately our goals are the same.
Cheers.

ZandhaZaraZ:
I KNOW why that is so. Dominant males founded civilizations and cultures, created human societies, and came up with rules, codes and conducts every Homo sapien must follow in order to ensure stability and order --- but in the process, these chivalrious and, despite their flaws, admirable ancestors of mine modelled society in a way that established the primacy of their own gender.

The patriarchal order invented by these great men would go on to be passed down from one generation to the next, becoming the norm, becoming sacred, and even having a special place in the doctrines of every religion future Homo sapiens would go on to invent! Now, it has become second nature to many - holy writ, that must never be questioned nor changed.

But I think the world belongs to the generation that currently inhabits it. We can take the best of the best from what the great men of the past left us, discard the viruses they inserted and incinerate them in dungeons faraway from the vicinities of their graves, as a way of respecting and honouring their remarkable, but imperfect, contributions to the progress of humanity.

We call the shots now, bruv. The ancestors are dead. I want to change their rules. What about YOU?

We are on the same page really.
The reasons for the existence of the patriarchy were not sinister. These male-dominated orders were as you've rightly said created with chivalric intentions.
Thus, the modern woman should realize that modern man is not her enemy.
In fact, we are partners in creating that utopia that progressive people desire.
The rules were not made in a day, it is unrealistic to expect them to disappear in a day.

In any case I don't even think they should be eradicated, we should find a way to modify them for our collective benefit.

Daeylar:
Real semantics, someone says he doesn't want to have a female child and he asking if the person really hates women .

Besides, this is what you'll get when you search out the meaning of misogyny on google nothing like hate there, no shifting of goal post allowed
take note of the words used, and tell me if op doesn't display all of these characteristics
"dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women."


Cc Ranchhoddas

Lol.
I see I am in for a torrid afternoon.

ZandhaZaraZ:
I for one, DO NOT GIVE A FÜCK, neither a flying, nor a swimming fúck about what society thinks of me because of my children. The OP considers his children A MEANS TO AN END, but I consider mine ENDS IN THEMSELVES. I don't see how these archaic orientations protect the girl child. They rather imprison her, lock her into an ugly box, and stigmatize her for breaking out of it! That's rubbish.

By the way, how do you protect a female child you never gave birth to? Or, aren't you saying OP's stupidity is all about protecting the girl child? Which girl child? The one he never wants to give birth to? Or is he coming to protect mine?

I do not speak for the OP.
I am speaking generally, all over the world, promiscuity is less tolerated in girls than in boys.
Why do you think that is?

Proudgorgeousga:
You are oblivious to the fact because you are male brought up in the culture so I ain't surprised with your response.

You don't get to tell me what happens in my culture cos I'm Igbo.
Majority of Nigerians both male and female are male chauvinists and sexists but are oblivious to it. Don't tell me you don't read all the misogynistic support for DV, rape apologists and their warped view of subjection packaged as virtue in marriage.

This is why we continue to have this conversations to let them see different perspectives

I am not oblivious of anything.
I am discussing it am I not. I am only saying that it's not a Nigerian thing. It is human thing.
We did not invent gender affirmative action.
There are sexists everywhere in the world.
Those things that happen in Igbo land are fading.
A lot of Igbo women have gone to achieve great things. These women are also products of that same culture.
Why do you not talk about them?

ZandhaZaraZ:
This might be correct. Most of us grew up that way. Believing it to be "normal", to be the "natural order", the ONLY way things can be arranged. We saw nothing wrong in it. Once we've been brainwashed with these archaic orientations, not many of us usually manage to break out of it. Many remain locked into the bullshiit for life, even women.

This topic shouldn't be taken seriously in the first instance. I had to hiss at his stupidity and leave the pointless thread.

Help me ask him if it is baboons and monkeys that these promiscious girls are fúcking.

I understand what you are saying but are the consequences of these actions the same for males and females? The answer is an obvious NO.
No boy has ever died from abortion, boys usually do not have to stop schooling to take care of an unwanted baby etc.

The boys are hailed as sharpshooters, the girls are derided as sluts.

These "archaic orientations" you speak of arise not out of hatred but from a primal need to protect the female child.
They are a good thing if used properly.
We just have to tweak them. Not eradicate them.

Daeylar:
Now you've seen one example of a misogynist, you see another example from the op of this thread,
Are you still asking what makes the Nigerian society misogynistic?

Misogyny is a very strong word.
It means hatred literally.
Do these people really hate women?
I think not.

Proudgorgeousga:
Saudi Arabia has state sanctioned institutional and cultural misogyny while Nigeria is more cultural thanks to the British law which we adopted due to colonialism our situation for pass Saudi own.


yes in Igbo culture for example



yes in the north I will attach evidence below





archaic culture and tradition coupled with misogynistic Islam and Christianity.



don't you dare



I guess I just learnt to quote detail by detail
I'm so proud of myself huraaaay!

The girl don kee me oo.


Personally what you been deprived of because you are female that your brothers got?
I'm guessing nothing.
The Igbo and Northern examples are vestiges of a dying way of doing things. The majority of people do not think this way so it's not enough to say Nigeria is misogynistic.
Even in more developed Asia, premium is still placed on the male gender till today.
The gender imbalance as a result of the One-Child Policy in China is a good example of this.
In fact, I think Nigeria is doing relatively well when it comes to women empowerment.
Hell, even the Deputy Secretary-General of the United Nations is a Nigerian woman, of Northern extraction I have to add.

You all just like making mountains out of nothing. *runs for cover*

Daeylar:
Lol, happy for you was happy when I learnt also
Ranchhoddas no reply from you, hope you're not annoyed?

Of course not. I was trying to read through the other thread.

modelmike7:
Silence means consent, she's guilty as charged!

Sure condoms do have this rubber smell all over them, even we that are Virgin knows that!!

We do?

Daeylar:
Nonsense trash,


you were cheated on sorry, it's part of Life unfortunately, move on but no, you had the guts to slap her mercilessly, instead of you to apologize you are busy here yarning dust about how men are supporting women,
so you are saying that all men should support you slapping a woman who didn't hit you first just because you are a man, therefore men must stick together, men against women, even when the man is at fault

You need serious help.

Ranchhoddas
If I call him a misogynist will I be wrong?

No you won't.
Worse still is that he's one of those soldiers that think civilians are beneath him.
He deserves whatever he gets.

Daeylar:
No you may not you may not call another human being rabid, especially for an opinion which has no effect on you.

Don't worry, my Ann will answer you. She's up to the task.

Let me answer the meñtion you gave me

It's a figure of speech.

Come on.

SoapAndSponge:
I see you have a crush on Ana.
*hides*

*crosses self 1000 times* This is an evil thought. Banish it.

RaggedyAnn:
But I don't believe I should be surprised at all; the Nigerian society is so misogynistic...

Saudi Arabia I can understand but how is the Nigerian society "so misogynistic"?
Were you deprived of anything that your brothers got because you were female and considered inferior?

Are not allowed to drive, own property or run for office?

What makes Nigeria misogynistic for the love of God?

Dare I use the word "rabid"?

Cc: Daeylar.

Daeylar:
But you were in agreement with us in this thread? Why didn't you help out in this thread?, that's what I specifically asked instead you supported someone that said men can get away with bad behaviour and women can't. Anyways since you are not in agreement (even though you said you were) and can't help out, and even went a step further calling women who are just defending themselves "rabid feminists" to denigrate them, while still speaking from the other side of your mouth and saying you are in agreement with us, SMH,
Can you now leave women to support themselves in peace and stop with the faux sympathy?




At least you acknowledge that you were on most threads then (and i think you still are) and didn't go mad, so why wonder about us when you did the same thing yourself? Pot, kettle?




All right. Something like what? A creator? A God?

I will never do or say anything to denigrate women and I apologize if I have given such an impression with my comments.

I will defend the rights of women everywhere in anyway I can.

But "rabid feminism" is a real thing. It's not acknowledging your "inadequacies" and blaming the men for all the things you have failed to achieve.
It's adopting the word "misogyny" as a mantra and chanting it whenever things go wrong in your life.

---

Do you enjoy dispelling false notions?
Are you not irked when these threads are created.
I really enjoyed bashing religion. I still do. The look of awe and fear I see on people's face when I go against notions they hold sacred is priceless so you can see why I have not gone mad.

---

Something like an Infinite Mind. The Primam Causam...

supersystemsnig:
Guy go naaah...Oya ignored..

Yeah whatever.

Just know that the rod of common sense is always within reach and I will not hesitate to whip you with it till you develop sense.