₦airaland Forum

DahtzFestjayz:
*where is the Trash can?* Throws thread into it. Swoosh!!

the trash can dey ur neck na...if ur hand no reach make I borrow u mine...



u wan come read how I take behead ogechi brother for polling unit abi...


#MisConcepts na im go kill u

#My Village Story About Ogechi And His Brother(A Childhood Friend )

I was in Villa for this concluded gubernatorial election which we the P.D.Pians And APGAns lost massively and so unvictorius...for both the Presidential,governorship and senatorial polls. And some dumb niggahz thought with my branded swags, I've made it...lol... but no mothafucka ever asked me how I survive over there in the north where me I dey mange to survive by all means cus Fulani and their robbery squad in the north no allow person eat, drink water and keep the cup jeje... bokoharam has been no more a nightmare with their news making airwaves every time of the day with their misdeeds... the abokis has enchanted both my ear drums with Jona must go chorus everyday...even almajiris get liver dey tell me say GEJ na im be boko sponsor... their mallams sef come worse pass with their method of preaching say baba gej na barawo wey obj sef dey complain for...mbaka my modernized political Reverend come increase our political palava by im talk say if oga jona win say blood sharing go go from better to best abi na worst sef -I no know sef....

With all this pain in my heart as I nearly commit suicide....(but tufiakwa!!!!, i rather kill myself than to commit suicide ) say we lost for most of the polls as i dey Villa, one day na so one dude(an old padi and ogechi brother )even said as I quote "ehn...so u don make moni abi... u nodey even talk 2 pesin ba...u just dey bone dey fumble eh?... any way, I no blame u cus na so life beooo...u get moni u 4get ur padi dem"-I come dey ask my sef na where dis guy see me see moni so?

Na so I laffed... cus some dudes back dia can't even see the deference b/w made niggahz and fellas on the run cus once u get shoe, pair of trouser and T-shirt to put on...bro those baddos @villa with their goof eyes go think u be the next dangote, Mike adenuga or Innoson on the make... if ur swags come be of recent trends -YES!!! You be wizzy... Olamide or TechnoMiles on the go -BoizAreNotSmilling.

So just to soften his agbero mind from thinking other wise I said to my man...

"Abro, nobi like that na, shey we be padi na... or u don forget say u na alobam..."as i throw this heavyweight question to my guy...him mind come begin dey celebrate like GMB for winning March 28polls... so I continue... "I go ur domot yestaday wey I drop make we strol na, but ogechi ur senior sister tell me say u go watch ball...(I never was at his home, only met his sister on my way to handle a Bleep-up by one of my guy last night in a bar near their house...I recognised her instantly as I saw her...cus I was a die hard admirer of hers and that foolish and selfish buddy of mine never gave us the chance to have good time till I traveled and none of us by then has a cellular-bro, I really missed her".

As my guy face turned like drug user that his ugly gf just told that she's missing her period -na here my next assignment to dig out my mis-yarn began...

As I dey wander in shallow and shadow of my thoughts... gan... I remembered how the guy dey feel when you talks to him about ogechi his junior sister whom I mistakes to be the senior due to her height and how she's been fully welcomed into womanhood-I was confused...I also remembered that since childhood days...we both has never been a fan of soccer or any type of sport apart from our hide and seek game which was boring,but with the help of other friends -we invented our own version of it...which we called: The Last Man Standing and the Killer Game which is more hardcore like the gangster game... he always wanna be the last man standing... and that's where I learned how great and helpful the art of deception could be...I always beat him in the last man standing and shoots to kill in the killer game and that's why I earned his respect and he'll ever see me as through like cus it's full of fun and interesting those days...he even gave me this name OnyokoMeter... meaning Meter looker cus of my ability to find and shoot without missing the target... some was even speculating that I do zoom my eye balls... funny and hilarious right.

Now as I was still thinking... a thunderous voice went through my ear and all I could hear is more like a warning to stay off his sister...lol...is this dude crazy...
This is what he said with a hoarding voice...

"Bros ehhh... no dey go my house any how... and make you nodey talk to my sisi anyhow... and make I wan u... ogechim na small girl,make you go find your level for street ooo b4 we go clash ooo(clash for wetin na We be gods of war...or are going to play game of throne with your sisi ne... see gobeooo... in case this fella never know... I and ogechi have just begun from where we stopped unless we're gonna repeat the clash of clans season 2 with this outraged and dubious looking niggah-you wan marry your sister ni -all this ran through my mind as the dude continue his chronicles... )..."she be my junior sister..."he continued.... "mind you... she's just nineteen..."(na for this junction I be wan shout for this mopol...him dey chop grass?... abi na mad he dey mad?? Nineteen years girl small girl?...na which level of craze be this na.... This guy brain dey reverse? Abi im kolo no get lubrication ...see me see wahalaooo...)as my guy continue... I begin dey listen like a good child wey him papa dey advice about modern days chickas!....

He continue as cough dey strive to or power his speaking voice cus of chronic effect of smoke to his lungs... he said"and she's just gotten admission to uni... see bro,next time eh... if I ever see you with ogechi again or I hear say una relate... I swear (touching the ground with his middle finger and licking it with his tongue as we used to do...just to show how daring and mean he's to his utterances )we jam for go slow and you go buy market wey you no like..."na for this stage I realise say if I let this dude...till tomorrow he will still be warning me to back off his sister... so I decided to cut the whole theory short... I path his shoulder and said... "alobam... so u no fit know fake and real tori?, na ur mumsy I meet for una house sef... she say you just comot and that ogechi went to the market to by stuffs... haba... why you come dey vibrate like say I collect ur mgbeke na?? Bros u dey fall your padi handooo...u don forget who I be?na me be OnyokoMeter ooo... or you wan try my skills? ",na for here my guy come smile small as he say "OK na but bring your phone make I give you my number... next time call me before you go my house... if I no dey house... no go cus na me 2Paki Da Vampire be your friend nobi my mumsy or pupsy wey don kpai tey-tey or my small sister wey never grow to have friend..."na for this back yard my spirit fainted!.

Party2 coming soon!!!!