₦airaland Forum

taylor89:
Nairalanders always using the name snake to scam lala to front page









When ur bae finally hav ur mumu buttons unlocked







Bring up a reasonable topic now mods will be looking at the bush like who their masquerade break down for Eke market day








Wetin concern me self....still searching for solution for the dots and lumps on my joystick

Wetin dey vex u

Lalasticala.. Mk this one reach promise land


Your food don come.. Make we pour libation

From a Facebook user

Make una follow me thank this our God, the man is too much.
He's a miraculous Father.
By now una for done hear say Treasured don die ( by then you go see my enemies dey post my picture anyhow for Facebook )
Or If I survive , i for hospital in bad condition, But My Oke mmuo said is not yet my TIME.

On Monday my pastor told me to call him on Wednesday evening after discussing with him an issue I have been praying over.
So around 5pm I called him and he said he's with people counselling them, that I should call him around 8pm.

Around 8pm I came outside, because network use to fluctuate in my house .
I called him twice , he didn't pick, I decided to call my sister who travelled to know if she don reach, we were still talking when I noticed something approaching my side.
Let me just say it was God that turned my eyes to that creature coming, I sighted it and wanted to run inside but it is approaching my gate , so I can't go in, I look FRONT I saw boys that were in the other compound gisting, I ran away to where the guys WERE, OMO the thing follow me with its coming with slow motion .

I called the guys to come that I see an Animal that I don't know what it is , all of them ( like 6 boys) followed me .
Immediately the animal sighted people coming , e come turn dey run.
The boys come carry big big stones dey stone am.
For where e no die , him come use vex use stone Am, stone out rubbish for him body.
E come finally .
Oyaa let's imagine say I backed am , e go come use back bite me.
Or what of if those guys no dey there nko because they are the people God used.

Please all the likes and comments I want to get from you all na to help me brag about God for me and thank Him for saving my life.
Call him names that makes him to be happy in this throne, because he deserve my Highest Praise.
And he is my Ekwueme
Ebubedikem
Anu ana agba egba ona ata chewing gum
Ifeanyi anyim.

Nb: the pictures you are seeing the head and tail have been cut off.

My PVC in my back pocket till 2019 to send President Buhari back to daura... believe this story? joke is on u...

mileage please

ibnzubair:
It could be gastroschisis too.

I just wonder why the viscera hasn't been properly covered to prevent overloading by bacteria and dehydration.

its gastroschisis.. u can't Miss d diagnosis. omphalocele usually has a membrane covering it..so dis one is not an omphalocele, except its a ruptured omphalocele which isn't likely as they said its been like this since birth.. peace

,

tolulope855:
Rx 300 is the best out of the three.. .has almost same engine with Toyota Highlander. Good and Economical.
Why not buy Toyota Highlander instead.

If I were to be in your shoes, I'll go for DC. I just love tha DC than the the other two mentioned.

Can I get a Highlander for that amount?

Hello guys thanks for your advice in my previous post.. It really came in handy.. Having been advised not to get a Toyota muscle for 1.7m Due to the high chance of getting a bad one.. I have decided to go for another one so I don't spend my money on frivolities.. Please advice me on the best car to buy here between Toyota camry 2004 model (big for nothing) and Honda DC and Lexus RX300.. Which is the best in terms of aesthetics, fuel consumption, ruggedity and less problematic.. Meanwhile I hv a budget of 1.7 to 1.8.. I really need your advice..

Thank u all for ur contributions and advise but I still have a question.. If u were to chose between a Honda DC and Toyota camry 2004 model (big for nothing) °°... Which one will u go for.. I need an honest advice.. I need a car before something else collects this money from me...

Hey guys I just finished a contract and I was able to save 1.7million.. I really need a car but I don't want to go for camry pencil.. Am a big fan of Toyota muscle family.. Can I get one for the above amount in toks... No matter d model.. Am not used to car stuffs..

fear woman

Wetin concern me? Who she epp for this recession?

ayobase:
She is simply getting honoured for her tenure as the beauty queen since the cucumber saga surfaced at the end of her tenure.


After the award, the case continues.

Hater spotted.. U wont just let her be.. I wonder what u will gain if she is dead as u want her ..

;DPolice is ur friend

Noticed a stealth movement on one of the Citrus tree in my house today. I was curious, lo and behold, it was a long slim green creature well masked with the surrounding foliage. Gave my daughter and mum in law some scare. What do I do with the stuff now? Pictures attached The smooth greensnake (Opheodrys vernalis) is a nonvenomous North American colubrid. It is also referred to as the grass snake. It is a slender, "small medium" snake that measures 36–51 cm (14–20 in) as an adult. It gets its common name from its smooth dorsal scales, as opposed to the rough green snake, which has keeled dorsal scales. It is found in marshes, meadows, open woods, and along stream edges and is native to regions of Canada, Maine, Wisconsin, Illinois, Virginia,Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico, Iowa, Missouri,Colorado, Texas, Michigan and northernMexico. A non-aggressive snake, it seldom bites and usually flees when threatened. It mates in late spring to summer and females lay their eggs from June to September.

Copied: prof. Adisa Charles

They should kwontinue lying.... Its only the gullible ones that will belive this story.. Lemme pretend as if i dont know they are lying.. God protect our soldiers..

Buhari sef

Scrubbing out! At this point of this surgery, assistant, please carry on. There is something that has gained much frequency and has to be addressed as a matter of urgency!
For the nth time I heard 'these doctors aren't nice, they only know to strike for money, they don't even know what an emergency is, they... they...in fact very corrupt set of human beings
Hey, look here bro.
Perhaps these doctors ure talking of re also human beings, no tinge of supernaturalness, they sacrifice a lot of time to this profession, have children to pay for their fees, pay NEPA bills, house rents, tax
But 're also on queue with you for fuels, pay extra to be in time, have their children sent out of school, perform major surgeries without power supply... Just look inside behind you, sure u can see a gleam, it's a candle burning inside. And u might think I'm soaked because I just stepped off a bath? No, it's a theatre. So the men at power plants 're no saints. To inform you, I also get debited twice for single transaction but no bank time on the call roster, and so my bankers 're no saints. My landlords serve me letters even as it's obvious there's no pay. And so he's no saint. My mechanic... hmm exploits my tight work schedule, the radiator, 'carbrator', 'salesa' ... And he's no saint. At the market, Doctor, e ku ojo meta... they charge me more for being a doc. I even detect bad goods on getting home and so they're no saints.
Now you can hear noise from inside as if a war broke out between the matron and the doc? Its not money matters, either the suctioning machine is bad, or the scissors aren't cutting, or the forceps aren't holding or the... And that is because somebody somewhere who's no saint has decided to put him in that horrendous situation.
The emergency services you see in movies... House, Gray's... 're fictional. some of you might wish Dr House could diagnose your problem. But Hugh Laurie isn't even a doctor. Just for d movies.
So carry this message of mine to all that want to make a saint of me that I need be surrounded by saints as well.
Do that while I enter this oven called theatre.
#‎lifeofadoctor‬ #‎don‬'tjudgemeunlessyouareasaint

Today na public holday,

Name checkers association no open office..

Spokesperson NCAN UZBEKISATAN BRANCH

Its been such a great day @ our office

Name checkers association UZBEKISTAN BRANCH;





After eating dogs,they act like one..smh....

I didnt event read the post,i just came to check names:
Name checkers association UZBEKISTAN BRANCH




Na d same people.. They didnt disappoint..

1. There’s the annoying dude who. always wants to take the place of the driver, he turns himself into “a co-driver”. oya cut enter here… take ur shape left… oga trafficate na. no let that car overtake you oo.  Me:niccur please, can you even ride a bike!
 

2. There’s the aunty who always ruins our noses with the foul smell that emits from the meat she bought since morning and kept in her shop. She turns the bus into an abattoir. I don’t even know if she’s trying to make our mouth water from the “nice aroma” or she wants to show that nobody in the bus can afford meat in their houses.  Me: Aunty na wa for you oh, you no go like trek go your house with this dead body u carry wey u call meat.
 

3. There is the clique of girls. They giggle at each other like docks. They pass their phones to one another other and laugh like idiots for no apparent reason. I always have a feeling they are those girls you find at those bend down select markets pricing a top for N30… me: shioo, iranu!
 

 

4. There are those who will board the bus with 100 even when they clearly hear the conductor say 300. You see them nodding their heads like a frog gasping for breath….conductor abeg help me collect am, abeg no vex. Na beg I dey beg you. Heheh…..trust our Lagos conductors, they will tell you the history of your great grandfathers down to you.. they’ve got no chill.
 

5. There’s the lady who will beg you for N50 in queens English to complete her t’fare. She’ll first ransack her bag, making a loud noise in the process to draw your attention. Next thing you hear is……hi, huh, ah was wondering if you coulda…huh..help me with 50bucks yeah. Ah totally left my purse with my money in’t ah home and stuff. Me: Ehn ehn….so your father can send you to England, but he couldn’t afford you a car not to talk of giving you enough transport fare…oya take…let me help your life.
 

 

6. There is the bros who is always throwing dry jokes, I mean the driest of jokes at everything. And you know the funny part, he laughs at those annoying jokes and looks at other passengers faces. He’ll  say something like……”conductor, buhari don come now, you no wan gimme my change abi. No let buhari change affect my change ooo…..bwahahaha”  tf is that! . me: niccur please, ah, you dry as f*****K.


7. There’s the man who is always refusing to collect 20million naira from his customer over the phone…..bia nwaane…I kant collect 20million neyra from you oo…the last I kandu for you is 25million neyra. Ok….send it to my akkant …yes…not the first bank, mba…not the uba…..send to the zeynit akkant. Me: really man…20million and you no get ur own car. Ok.no wahala.

Feel free to add yours...

Source: http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/people-i-encounter-in-a-commercial-bus-everyday/

Ike agwulam na dis state..... God please do something naw... Ikpeazu has nothing to offer.. Why is d chief Judge hiding..i smell doughnut

If UK leaves EU - The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will not be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. And Congratulations you have learnt German within minutes.

Buhari!!! Buhari!!! Buhari!!! If only buhari will construct 5% of federal roads in the 5% region.. Buhari!!! Buhari!!! Buhari!!! If only buhari will construct 5% of federal roads in the 5% region..

Buhari!!! Buhar!!! Buhari!!!

Manya aka na nsi aboki!!!

There are times when after close observation of things happening that I can't help recalling something Chinua Achebe said in his book There was a Country. He said "... that Nigerians will probably achieve consensus on no other matter than their common resentment of the Igbo." You couldn't put it more clearly.
The whole place is filled with reports of the protest and subsequent killing and arrest of some MASSOB /IPOB members. Not for the first time. Now, whether it was an entirely peaceful protest and if the security forces acted solely in self defence is another argument.
But what I find most nauseating is the swift response to kill and arrest them. In minutes, blood is shed, arrests are made and there is an quick outpouring of security agents to protect some contraption called Nigeria and her supposed peace and unity. But herdsmen have raided towns and villages killing and destroying without restraint and the security forces are yet to 'outpour' or make clear arrests. It is in our land and against our people that they invoke Rules of Engagement, whatever that means. They can't even clear out BH or face the Nigeria Delta Avengers. They couldn't even produce Tompolo in court!
In case you didn't read that too, the arrested IPOB members were already arraigned in an Enugu North magistrate court today, barely 24 hours after the arrests. They are suddenly so effective at combating crime. But next Fulani spree, they will release a statement and say the perpetrators are from Niger and Kuala Lumpur or wherever. If you don't smell anything, then you need help.

There are times when after close observation of things happening that I can't help recalling something Chinua Achebe said in his book There was a Country. He said "... that Nigerians will probably achieve consensus on no other matter than their common resentment of the Igbo." You couldn't put it more clearly.
The whole place is filled with reports of the protest and subsequent killing and arrest of some MASSOB /IPOB members. Not for the first time. Now, whether it was an entirely peaceful protest and if the security forces acted solely in self defence is another argument.
But what I find most nauseating is the swift response to kill and arrest them. In minutes, blood is shed, arrests are made and there is an quick outpouring of security agents to protect some contraption called Nigeria and her supposed peace and unity. But herdsmen have raided towns and villages killing and destroying without restraint and the security forces are yet to 'outpour' or make clear arrests. It is in our land and against our people that they invoke Rules of Engagement, whatever that means. They can't even clear out BH or face the Nigeria Delta Avengers. They couldn't even produce Tompolo in court!
In case you didn't read that too, the arrested IPOB members were already arraigned in an Enugu North magistrate court today, barely 24 hours after the arrests. They are suddenly so effective at combating crime. But next Fulani spree, they will release a statement and say the perpetrators are from Niger and Kuala Lumpur or wherever. If you don't smell anything, then you need help.

Thrash..... Thrash.....