₦airaland Forum

elantraceey:
You're right but I see nothing wrong with 9. The church is a family on it's own and such activities helps to strengthen the bond between members .

They can organize evangelism and crusades instead. Any activity that involves coming together regularly would strenghten the bond among members. I have attended one of such and realized it shouldn't be a church affair.

There are many unscriptural activities going on in the church today which Christians pretend not to see. The more we keep silent, the worse things would become. Though we are aware that many happenings in the church today are signs of the end time, it is our duty to put things right and strive to revive the ‘old time religion.’

1. Charging Consultation Fee-
Paying certain amount of money before you can see the man of God has become a common practice in many churches nowadays. So many pastors have commercialized deliverance, salvation and spiritual counselling against the Lord’s wish- Matt 10:8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

2. Selling Some Spiritual Items-
I’m more particular about churches selling holy water and anointing oil in plastic containers and bottles where worshippers are disallowed from bringing theirs but compelled to buy from the church. Let them buy from wherever they choose; your role is to ensure those items are blessed and sanctified.

3. Making Tithe Card Compulsory-
I have no objection to the issuance of tithe cards for those who want it. Some churches have denied
members some privileges because they do not have their tithe cards which serve as evidence to know tithe payers. I, like many others prefer paying tithes anonymously. Someone may be paying tithe regularly having his card checked and signed by the pastor and still feign being saved.

4. Setting up too many church societies-
It is unfortunate that church leaders rarely check the activities or attend meetings of these societies. Many have derailed from their essence and a lot of such church societies now run like town meetings, social groups or cooperative societies. Let us cut them to size, review their activities regularly, and ensure prioritization of spiritual events in these societies.

5. Singing and Dancing to Worldly Music-
We really need to watch it here. We listen to hip hops, Rocks etc which are trending and become tempted to copy the rhythm and sometimes lyrics of such music for church use. Many of these songs and dances are not glorifying God so why copying the world? Ladies now twerk and wiggle in sexually provocative styles in churches at the sound of such worldly music. 1 John 2:15 Love not the world , neither the things that are in the world . If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. Choirmasters and Music Coordinators pls take note.

6. Stipulating Minimum Amount for Offering-
Few days ago I was in a gathering and the pastor announced that those who do not have up to a certain amount of money to put down as offering should not bother to come out. This wasn’t the first time I’ll hear this announcement coming from the alter. This approach to collection of fat offerings should not be encouraged in the church. Jesus praised the poor widow who cast just two mites into the treasury because that was all she had [Mark 12: 41-44]. If such marginalization was declared before casting of offering at the temple, the poor widow would not have been able to cast her offering which Jesus acknowledged as the greatest of all offerings. Pastors should stop deterring people from casting their offerings; we do not need to inform them that fingers are not equal. Preach and tell the congregation the benefits of giving bountiful offering to God and let Him nourish His word in their heart and not indirectly telling them, ‘you cannot give the little you have to God.’

7. Organizing sport/game Competitions-
I do not know when sporting became an important spiritual exercise in the church. I once attended a church where a football match between two parishes led to a serious fracas. This later grew to a feud and it took many years for some of the youths and priests to heal the wounds of bitterness sustained during the match. It is more ideal to organize Bible quizzes and competitions which is very much unlikely to sow seeds of discord.

8. Letting out Church Premise/Properties for Secular Purposes-
I my humble opinion, it isn’t right to rent out church properties for non-religious activities such as club parties, political meetings etc. They may violate your rules and you would not be able to stop them until they are through.

9. Organizing Excursions and Sightseeing-
This should be left for our work places, families, schools and any other moderate social groups which we may belong to. Christ sent us to the whole world on a mission assignment to evangelize and win souls to the kingdom and not to catch fun. I have attended an excursion organized by the youth leaders of a church and to be honest, nothing gave glory to God in all we did. In fact, it may turn to an avenue for brethren to engage in sexual immoralities.

10. Inviting Secular Musicians and Comedians to Perform at Church Functions-
I have heard some blasphemous jokes from many comedians lately. It is so saddening that churches invite such performers to anchor programmes and all you hear are disrespectful words against God all in the name of making people laugh. How can you bring a secular musician to the church and expect him to bring down the spirit of God with his or her hip hop or RnB?

May the Lord revive the church again. Amen

PMB pls act fast. If at all they'll collect this pay during your tenure, it shouldn't be more than three times. Three months should be enough to slash this coveteous earnings.

mrdrizzy:
even all guys would

are u gonna cope and proceed

im a xtian but every rubber as elastic limit and yeild point

Only brothers with faith that equals or greater than faith of Abraham would stay

I tried several times to upload the video but it was failing... The guy in the video told a lady that God revealed her to him as his wife after fasting and praying fervently on the mountain for 14 days. He said the lady must consent to his proposal which is a clear divine message which leaves her with no option.

The lady agreed to marry this brother but he didn't wait to hear it. He disappeared after the lady gave him the summary of her past life, the burdens of her present life and the agony of her future.

She became an orphan at 10. She had slept with 64 men before the age of 18. The lady has terminated 18 pregnancies. Her womb has been removed. She is HIV positive with kidney problem. The doctor said she has just 18 months to live.

The brother didn't wait to finish watching the film. What happened to the 14 days fasting and prayer on the mountain and the revelation? Can love prompt you to go ahead and marry her?
.

The earth belongs to the Lord and its fulness thereof. The world and they that dwelleth therein. It was a divine cock fulfilling a divine prophecy.

Aitee1:
A bit complicated but whatever the case I don't support separation of any kind, I don't wish nor pray for such thus I won't encounter such!

Its really complicated... You will never encounter such by the grace of God. There will surely be disagreement between spouses. It becomes crises when they can't resolve critical issues between them and its getting out of hand or posing serious threat to both or either partner.

Today's Sunday School turned into a serious theological debate. Decorum ran away when the heat became unbearable. It is the first of its kind I have ever witnessed since I joined the church.

Whether it is biblical or not for christian couples to temporarilly separate (not divorce) in order to resolve certain marital crises was the bone of contention. Some opined that once the foundation is faulty, you have to continue bearing the consequences and be praying for your spouse to change no matter the matter. Others think if you become vulnerable, you are permitted to separate (temporarily) from your partner and not perish for lack of wisdom. Everyone had a verse or more to quote to buttress their stance.


I would like to know what Nairalanders also think about this.

kennygee:
If i hear say this woman enter kitchen.

Una think say na Food Osho marry her to dey cook?

Times and things are changing faster...

solelymade:
@ Neyoor, uniilorin's representative. This introduction is a no no 4 me.
Quoting u "I'm here to Support the motion
that goes thus: Religion and Ethnic diversities in Nigeria:
triggers for national chaos or reason we still stand?"
U never really told us what is it u are upholding be it
1. Religion and ethnic diversities a trigger for national chaos and disintegration
2. Religion and ethical diversities the reason we still stand
Though I can infer your argumentative focal point from the text.

He missed that truly though I still consider his piece as the best. But that is for the judges and moderators to decide. I say 'welldone' to all the writers.

All Nigerian footballers cannot play for Nigeria. Many Nigerians are also abroad and doing great for themselves. As long as you represent the black nations well abroad, you have done nothing wrong. I'm proud of all Nigerians who are making us proud oversees and making the yellow pawpaws (whites) realize they are not better, they are simply whiter.

Offa- Derived from the name 'Olalomi Olofagangan' a descendant of Oduduwa who first settled in Offa. Ofa means bow and arrow in Yoruba, from which Olofagangan was coined because he was a hunter known for making and using Ofa (bow and arrow).

Svelteb:
Sometimes one can't help d situation but I guess d rear end is d best place 4 d lady 2 sit.

Yes, it is.

aaronson:
Real quick,let me share my funny experience.
I had this experience and it wasn't funny on the spot,the lady insisted she sit infront of me which regularly ladies sit behind so I obliged,half way into the journey,it was then I realized the hood has its mind of its own I couldn't help it although I never had slick sexual thoughts,it just happened and I would try to adjust back,still couldn't help the situation until I was sitting on that metal part of the bike after the seat enduring pains during gallops,after that day I made a resolution never to take bike with random opposite sex at the bus top or wherever.

You made a very good resolution. If circumstance makes it compulsory then its better to insist that she sits behind.

UI and Unilorin have nice slogans. What do they mean?

The men and the ladies on the motocycles are not relations. They simply met at the bus stop and boarded Okada together in order to save cost. Depending on who comes first or otherwise, you find men sitting tightly behind women and vice versa. Same-sex passengers also ride on same bike. This is obtainable in many parts of Nigeria where commercial vehicles plying such routes are insufficient mostly due to the deplorable states of the roads.

How comfortable is it for a potent man to sit tightly behind a woman (who is not his relation) on the same bike for several minutes? Do you see anything wrong in this or not?

Start with Atiku, then Obasanjo followed by Tinubu and Bukola.

At least 10 Nigerian universities under the Nigerian African Centers of Excellence (ACE) will receive over N16 billion ($1.2billion) grants from the World Bank.

The universities are – Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, Benue State University, Makurdi, Bayero University, Kano, University of Benin, University of Jos, Ahmadu Bello University, Redeemer’s University, Obafemi Awolowo University, University of Port Harcourt, and African University of Science and Technology, Abuja.

The Minister of Education, Malam Ibrahim Shekarau, who made the disclosure the official signing of ACE Performance Contract with the 10 universities in Abuja, warned the management of the institutions to allow ACE project team to concentrate on the objectives of the project.
He insisted that all changes to the team must be cleared with the National Universities Commission (NUC).

The minister said government would not hesitate to reallocate funds from non-performing ACEs to those that are doing well saying, “it is your responsibility to work in harmony with your team to ensure that they perform optimally.”

Speaking at the event, the Executive Secretary of NUC, Prof. Julius Okojie, who is also the Chairman, Steering Committee of the project, said for 30 years Nigeria was backward in terms of academic research and publications.

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/ace-projects-10-nigerian-varsities-get-n16b-world-banks-grants/

Marriage Software

This is what a guy wrote to a System Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);

Dear System Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

.... The Systems Analyst replied:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........

C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES!

Yours,

System Analyst.

IJESA- from “Ijo awon ti asa” meaning “the council of selected people” later shortened to Ijesa/Ijesha.

absoluteSuccess:
E (this) Ki (wont) ti (push), as in 'Okiti' (Yoruba will say Okiti Ogan, ori ara e nii jin le). Ekiti is meant to connote bravery and to imply an unbreakable wrestler, as found in the folksong 'Akiti lole ja o, ija lolejah'. Akiti is 'aki-i-ti' (tough to be pushed). From this, E KI TI simply means 'the immovable one' or ' the steadfast' which is how Yoruba sees hill.

This is a nice one. Pls help with some others on the list in the op or any other not mentioned.

hfinest1:
answers
1. Adam and Eve
2. Made
3. Obasanjo... cos he got some secret agenda to do with Buhari
4. 10.50
5. Eve
6. Nigerian Police
7. Adaobi is an hermaphrodite
8. x = 50,000,000
9. Julliet White
10. Vehicles are 200,000,000,000,000 and houses are 500,000,000,000,000

Adam n Eve wey don delete for more than 5000 years b4 Nokia phone was invented. How Nokia con take capture dem handshake for garden of Eden? Or na Nokia be serpent?

Ojuelegba- from 'Oju Elegba' meaning 'the spot or shrine (oju) of Elegba ( a deity).

Each time I travel to any city/town/village in the southwest, I always try to decipher the meaning of the name of the town. It would not be a surprise that many 'Omo Odua' would start scratching their jaws or heads if asked to tell what their town's name means and its origin in this age of civilization where the youths and children are bidding their culture (especially their Language/Dialect) farewell. I also find myself guilty of this in a sense (I do not know the meaning of the name of my mother's village and so many other southwest towns and cities).

I know there are many graduates of Yoruba Language, History and researchers here that would help us out. Please let us write as many as we know. I will like to state that I stand to be corrected if you find any wrong interpretation or inappropriate choice of word in the interpretation.

Ogbomosho- from 'Ogbo ri Elemosho' meaning The carrier of the head of Elemosho (A man terrorizing the villagers who was later beheaded)
Abeokuta- Under the stone/rock
Ibadan- from 'Ẹ̀bá-Ọ̀dàn' which means 'border town of a grassy terrain with trees'
Ilorin- from 'Okuta ilo irin' which means 'stone for sharpening metals'
Egbeda- from 'Egbe jo da' meaning 'collectively achieved/made/contributed by group/peer'
Ile Ife- 'the land/place where spreading began'
Ebutte Meta - Three harbors/ports
Ajegunle - Land/home of wealth/money
Owo- Honour
Akure-
Ojota-
Offa-
Idimu-
Ikotun-
Oshogbo-
Oyo-
Ikirun-
Iseyin-
Ifako-
Oro-
Ijegun-
Ikoyi-
Shaki-
Modakeke- 'I remain so quiet and calm'
Ejigbo-
Iwo-
Ikire-
Ede-
Omu Aran-
Ondo-
Ishagamu-
Ibafo-
Iperu-
Abule Egba - 'village of the Egba people'
Ilaro-
Ewekoro- 'leave is bitter'
Ijaniki-
Ilupeju- 'Everyone (all villagers/representatives) is present'
Oshodi-
Agege-
Mushin-
Idi Araba- 'Under a tree (Araba tree)'
Ikorodu-
Owode- 'money has arrive'
Ojota-
Oworonshoki-
Kabba-
Ikare-
Ikere-
Ado Ekiti-
Iyin ekiti-
Ifaki-
Oye Ekiti-
Igbeti-
Ajase-
Shomolu-
Egbe-
Otun Ekiti-
Iju Ishaga-
Ipaja-
Epe-
Akoko
Ilesha- from ' ile awon ti asa' meaning 'home (Ile) of the selected (sha/sa) ones or people.

...and so on.

Pls add Yoruba cities, towns and villages and the meanings of their names.

Fratello:
Her voice you asked, doesn't matter if she dead or not
Bia; increase my score jo

Na Naija young lady dey talk for Naija ATMs o, no be oyinbo.

Fratello:
1- No and Kia
2- Iyabo Obasanjo did, To safe His father from Future jail term on embezzlement.
3- Mook
4- N5.25
5- Suarez
6- The Nigerian Police Force
7- The Mavins
8- X is Greater Than Girlfriend.
9- Mother Theresa
10- 300 Million cars & 600 million Houses
Tss......

Mother Teresa don die na. But u try sha, u scored 50%

DahtzFestjayz:
OP. You sef answer this Whats the name of the person holding the Broom in APC flag?

Very simple, na Jagaban (Tinubu)

marshalcarter:
1-no and kia
2
-mook
3-
4-#5.25
5-
suarez nii
6-police ooo(dey can collect even #10)
7-she/male...boygal
8-i nono maths(promise her say you go marry her)
9-stacy
10-just 100 cars 40 houses

That number 5 must be some1 that resembles Suarez truly . Unfortunately, the logo don dey exist before Suarez bite

marshalcarter:
1-no and kia
2
-mook
3-
4-#5.25
5-
suarez nii
6-police ooo(dey can collect even #10)
7-she/male...boygal
8-i nono maths(promise her say you go marry her)
9-stacy
10-just 100 cars 40 houses

not a bad attempt

I trust Nairalanders, they will answer all correctly. You have 24hrs and your time starts now


1. What are the names of the two people holding hands when you switch on a Nokia phone ?

2. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make?

3. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent the friend request and why?

4. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of moi ?

5. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?

6. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who like money pass?

7. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi ?

8. If your X-boyfriend or X-Girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire a day after you guys broke up, what is the value of X?

9. What's the name of the lady that use to say
"please enter your secret number" at the ATM center.

10. Give the exact figures of the total numbers of vehicles and houses in Nigeria.

Best of luck.