₦airaland Forum

mikejj:
i wish you well brother.i hope you dont loose the gold soon

I dnt pray for such too. But should she have another plan, I can't stand on her way. It will be a silly decision to keep a girl that isn't happy with u

DaySpringer:
You are not a serious human being Poster.
What nonsense.

if you want to face business, face business and leave relationship and if you want to face both relationship and business then you should be able to make time for both. You are completely neglecting this girl. How can you be in a long distance relationship and you have not seen her in seven months?!! And you are both in the same Country. You cannot just go home, spend two days minimum and then travel on the third day? Something that you promised to do in the first place. Not only are you looking like an unserious person, you're looking like someone who doesn't really care about her or values the relationship.

You are obviously underestimating how difficult long distance relationships are.
The girl needs to see you physically, touch you, hold you. You guys need to make memories together. That's what keeps a relationship strong.
You're selfish because you cannot see beyond your personal reasons for not going and see why she needs you to come.
You're even lucky, by now she should be cheating on you or have left you.
And you're still too daft to go back. You think she is a savings account you leave in a bank that will always be there for you.
If you know you want to hustle, let the girl go and face your hustle, Don't leave her there for 7 months without seeing you and you are deceiving yourself that you care about her.

Dnt even make it sound as if I'm the first. What do u say of husbands who travel outside the country for greener pastures for up to 2 years yet their wives haven't killed themselves?
I'm occupied to travel, why can't the you her to come??

Whoever told u hustling and relationship can't go hand in hand

Eyop:
You are in portharcourt yarning dust and creating a topic that you are about to lose your girlfriend when you are even not making move to sustain the relationship. Do you think gifts and calls can substitute the physical presence? If that's your own level of understanding, then a long distance relationship isn't for you.

So you can't create time even if it's for days to meet with her to discuss extensively with her? You are just not ready to fight for the relationship so i have nothing else to add.

There is something u dnt get here;she knows I have plans for her and she believe that very much. It is not even a matter of discussing where the relationship is heading to because that's already settled. The issue is just that she is missing me. I miss her as well. But u see, travelling down East at the detriment of the small thing I'm putting up is out of place here.

If I yield to her request m travel n loose everything, where then will I get money to plan the future with her to which I left my place in the first place.

Why can't she come

greiboy:
honestly bro, I have to ask a question? hope you won't mind

What type of work do you do?, why is it so hard for you to leave ph?

if you don't see yourself leaving ph any time soon, I mean not even for a day. let her move on.

No work yet but I'm managing somewhere near Emenike roundabout here in pH.

I'm not against her moving on, have ways told her that nobody should interfere in whatever chei e she has to make in life.

The issue is that the place I'm managing now is so Competitive that u can't just leave it and travel. Once the business stands, I can start visiting her n my people.

I just got a new apartment, yet she can't be allowed to come. Is it fair?

Lalas247:
Just take it easy ,,,, if she is still single then start again but this time let her know your true intentions ... that way the ball is on her court

Shalom

She knows my intention very much. It is not even a matter of age catching up with her. Moreover, she is still in sch. I dnt even see the possibility of her mum pressuring her into marriage. I dnt just know what came over her. She is becoming recalcitrant and unbending

greiboy:
bro
You don't really know women, do you?

Most young ladies in their early 20s are very sensitive about relationship issues. You really can't change her mindset without visiting her.

I am sure she must be thinking that you don't care about her enough to sacrifice some time to see her.

I bet she is also thinking that you are seeing someone else

You just need to visit home to calm her down bruv

Think about it for a second, what if you get back home with all your " hustle money" and she is longer interested or she is already with another guy. Don't you think your hustle wouldn't be worth it anymore?

Data just my fear-her moving on. But she should show enough understanding. Come to think of it, will she stay if I fail in life?

DEIFIED:
Too long cant read.

Sorry, I tried to let go of what I should have written so that u guys can't easily read.

rickyboss333:
you know, your story did remind me of my past, when I had to deal with a long distance relationship, from Minna to ph.
u do sound like u value n love this girl in question but u unfortunately don't act it. she obviously loves u, n enjoys ur company n always wish to have u close. she may not understand d reason y u needed to go to ph to search for a job n be far from home. I must confess I liked d fact that u were man enough to stand by dat decision because I also feel it was best for a fresh graduate, but u needed to have done more.
calling her frequently, chatting, video calling and off course finding time to visit her, at least once in a month or two. u should also make out plans for her to come visit u in ph once in a while too. trust me, by d time u do all these, she would have forgotten y u had to leave in d first place. I bet d love would even grow stronger cos in as much as being close to ur lover is important, it could also make u get fed up of her easily if u tend to see her frequently.

Here parents are holding out that she can't visit unless something official has bn done. About my going home, I have my mind made up on that-I'm not going. Why can't the mum later dad's late) allow her since our relationship isn't a secret anymore

Lalas247:
When you love someone you show it .... not by sending gifts and calls ... it’s all a substitute when she just really wants you around ....

You messed it up by not trying your hardest to visit more .. or even ask her to visit you too ( if she really couldn’t make it then, You do it like you said she was studying as well and still living at home with her parents ... she hardly comes out [ sheltered] so no way she can even visit . But you already knew this ... so it’s on u men you just have to take that L


Move on ...

I can't just move on. If she can, let me see her do it

mikejj:
. sorry to ask... if you loose this girl how will you feel?

I can't afford to loose her. I d t pray for it at all

luminouz:
Dafuq u waiting for? Do something on her head na or u scared?

I'm still hustling. It is in my mind

greiboy:
I see,

Both of you are already considering marriage.

Well, It is a tricky situation you find yourself in bro, I guess you have to find time to go back home if you really love the girl.

Even if it is just for one weekend


There is really no other option for now

I'm with her because I love her. She knows that. I see a future partner in her dats why I introduced her to my people and her people know me as well. I was expecting her to be sad is she gets to know I'm having a thing or two for any other girl here, not this. She should support me and stand by me knowing that I'm here for her. I was actually thinking that my next travelling will be to make our relationship official.

greiboy:
I am sorry to digress, but I picked one important matter from the last paragraph of your story.

You stated that you were making up for the time you haven't spent with her "with gifts". Now, even this relationship doesn't work out, please don't ever attempt to monetize your relationship or believe money can do the job of replacing you in a relationship


, back to the topic

I believe you are concentrated on making money at the moment and it will be difficult to keep a long distance relationship, especially with a young lady that requires affection like your girlfriend.

I think you should invite her to Porthacult and let her see the type of work that has been keeping you busy, let her know why you are putting yourself through the stress. let her understand your plans for her . You may even invite her on more than one occasion or turn it into a monthly tradition of some sorts.

This gesture should also help clear any doubt she might have about you and what you are doing in Port

If she is still not entirely convinced by this gesture. I would suggest that you move on. it simply means you are probably not meant for each other


Hope I helped

Thanks, u did.

Firstly, I know gifts can't substitute my presence, but since there is no other visible way to keep in touch, I gave in to that.

Secondly, I tried inviting her over but the mum is having none of it. To her, she can only visit after it have officially done something on her head. U see?
No work yer but I'm into business

mikejj:
hey dude do u love this girl?i feel she loves you!!if i gt u right you said,she wants you to come so both of you can sitdown and talk.nigga find time to go and see her so both of u can talk..tel her everything! your plans,open up everything to her ok...or else you might loose the woman in ur heart. if a guy happens to meet her now in this kind of condition baba... it is finished.

Deep in my heart, I would love to but for my hustle. All these while, I try to keep body and soul together with excessive calls n gifts. I want to establish myself before going home. My parents are even in support of dat decision. She has the key to my room, lose to my sis n mum. She can always go there and wire away time with her at her leisure.

I even asked her mum if she could visit me here but she is having none of it

linearity:
Advise kai? Travel home and see her!

I have my reasons why I dnt want to travel home now. I used to capture her up to 4 tines a day to we started having problem

chynie:
Oga if this your gist na story, then spice it up but if Na your life issue, i don't care

If I want to gist bro, I will go to jokes section. It's my life issue and if u dnt care like u said, what more can I say than to wish u well

chynie:
Oga if this your gist na story, then spice it up but if Na your life issue, i don't care

I don't understand u bro.

Things were moving smoothly until recently when we started having some avoidable misunderstandings. Firstly, she was against my moving to portharcourt for greener pastures insisting that relationship to her is nothing but tome spent together. That I should look for work, at least, in my state but I wanted to move away from home. As far as possible. I left without her consent and things haven't been thesame ever after. Pls, for the benefit of doubt, we are not teenagers. I'm in my late 20s and she is in her early 20s.


She cried on phone to me countless times for the first few weeks that I left but I wasn't ready to change my mind. I told her to continue with her studies at home (She is a nursing student but since her school is not that far from home, she goes from her house) that I will be coming back once in a while to see her and as soon as I gather enough resources, then we take our relationship to a new level. I broke my words.

It's been 7months running since I last visited home, to see her and my people and she isn't really finding it funny. Even this last festive period, I didn't travel home. I decided to focus on the little thing I'm doing now to better my tomorrow and plan our future but it is now obvious to me that she has had it up to the neck.

It is about a week now since we spoke. She has sworn that she will never pick my calls again till I come home for us to sit down and talk. I wasn't ready to go home either.
Just this afternoon, she sent me a text that she has made up her mind to move on knowing that I value 'whatever I'm doing there more than her' (in her words)


I have been feeling down ever since I got that text from her because this is a girl I'm striving to make ends meet so that we 'plan our future' together.

N/b, it is true I have been away from her for months but I have been making up for that with gifts and calls.


Pls friends, advise me.
Thanks.

I'm a young man who is still struggling to make ends meet. Completed my compulsory National Service a year plus now and is in the beautiful city of portharcourt trying to establish myself.


During my service year, I saw this fair ,beautiful, average in height girl in my neighbourhood in one of my visits to my place. I was actually going back to Jigawa that morning after the festive period when I saw her standing by their gate. They just moved into their new building in my street and I never knew the man has such a lovely daughter. I was actually putting on my corpers'cap that morning when we met. She greeted me and I responded. I then proceeded to ask her if she lives there to which she said yes, that the house belongs to her father. She asked if I'm a Corp member and I answered in affirmative. I then went on to tell her that I was actually travelling back to Jigawa that morning.

I didn't care to ask for her number that day for fear of been turned down since it was the first time we were seeing each other. I was thinking about her all through my journey and I was optimistic we would still meet again when I return.

I almost forgot about her because I was away for about 4 months. Then, something happened in my family and I was asked to come back. I obtained permission and left for home. For the first two days I spent at home, I didn't see her. I then made enquiry and was told that she hardly comes out. Then I decided to relax my mind. Then one faithful evening while I was still at home, I was going to evening training when I ran into her. I asked her if she has been around and she said yes. She was puzzled when I told her I have been around for two days. One thing led to the other and we ended up exchanging numbers.

I called her that night when I returned from training and she was happy to hear my voice-according to her. After that, our relationship started growing all of a sudden, faster than I envisaged

internationalman:
Yes. if u had done it for like 5 years u would understand better

One need not be in a bad habit for that long to realise that it is bad. I would have stopped it in the few months I started with it coupled with porn but I stumbled a lot.
It's just God that saved me.
�
I now feel internal happiness n sanity.


Hope u aren't battling any?

How is this suppose to be of help

internationalman:
Hence the reason you weren't addictedo

U mean it wasn't long enough?

Omotayor123:
The only way to stop snoring is to stop her from sleeping.
Abeg learn to cope with it. if it's you, I'm sure she won't complain.

Sometimes you guys type for typing sake. Are u that naive or just kidding g around

internationalman:
How long did u masturbate?

Like a year

internationalman:
Weed and masturbation addiction are the strongest addiction....

only God can save someone from it.

God saved me from masturbation. He can deliver this as well

Why is it that the polithiefians never die in such instances but their escorts

Remaining a statue

Treasure1919:
Don't be quick to judge

He is saying the truth

Had it been I belong to that enterprise, sorry denomination, that will be the very last time I will enter there.

... and he who digs a pit shall fall into it