₦airaland Forum

Emphasis on THE ALERT DOT!

please could someone explain what CANDLE WITH ALERT DOT means?
@ Easycopyrh, help me out here.
@ ENTERpro and Mkmyer45, you guys have been a bit quiet. I do miss your posts and alerts.

easycopyrh: Pls al d newbies dat sent me mails suld get d stuff frm NAIJAOBI abeg mak una no vesh na time no dey.

@ NAIJAOBI, will be sending u friends request. Pls send me the mail when u accept. Thanks.

Pls break it down a bit more as I am a newbie. Alert candle dot, what does that mean?
For all the guys answering questions, talking about their strategy, and dropping alerts, you guys are doing a fantastic work. Thanks a lot.

eddyhaze: pls how accurate has it been?

There is a common mistake many people are making here. When your brother or sister was living alone, it was your brother/sister's house. Once married, the pronoun used in describing that house and many of the possession changes. It becomes my brother AND his wife's house or my sister AND her husband's house. It is THEIR house and no longer your brother/sister's. It does not matter who the bread winner in that house is. It is a seemingly small change but once truly internalized, a lot of the common mistakes people are prone to make will be reduced. Having said that, I have always found it curious that the bible says...so shall a MAN leave his dad and mum... but was very silent for the woman. It could be that the emphasis was to caution the tendency of the male's family to have this very high sense of entitlement to the man even when he is married. Think about it. It is really the woman that physically leaves her father's house, drops her father's name and assumes that of the man's. It would have made more sense for God to say ...so shall a woman leave her father and mother... Instead, the man was specifically addressed. It means that once one is married, your spouse automatically becomes your nuclear/primary/first family, while your father's home automatically becomes your extended family. It is always good to put things in their right perspective. A wise woman knows that it is one of her critical duties to ensure that the warm relationship between her husband and his father's family WITHIN REASON is sustained. If her hubby has to choose between her and his immediate EXTENDED family, he would not be the same guy she fell for. A wise man knows that it is his critical duty to let his father's family know that his spouse comes first. Infact, both spouses sets the boundary for their respective extended families. But it is the woman who ensures his father's home is not neglected. Again I will stress WITHIN REASON. They should never come before her and her kids. Same goes for her father's home. My sister called me last week monday to tell me she will be coming to the house on thursday for a job interview. I informed my husband. It was not her taking permission, its courtesy. My youngest BIL told me last week that he will be staying in the house for a week to prepare for his forth coming exams as the environment is more conducive for him to read. I also informed hubby about it. Yes we stay in the same city, but that is courtesy. When my MIL was to visit us last year, we were told 2 weeks ahead. I had ample time to prepare. The day my own mother will come, I will be told ahead too. Little things that sustain relationships.
For the guys who are like ...my wife had better be careful with my father's family or else..., well all I can say is to let the woman know before hand the kind of person you are so as to avoid issues. For the babes that will hide their positions on things like this cos they wanna hook a guy, well just be ready to dance to any tune you are played afterwards. If you can stand being the 2nd in your hubby's life, then you no get wahala. Thank God my in-laws are cool. It makes things easy. But assuming they were the troublesome type, hubby (esp) and I will have to set the tune we want played in our home, if u no like am, waka. I will tolerate even less from my own father's family cos with the kind of training we had, I expect more from them.
@OP, I will not know why your SIL acted the way she did, but you should act more matured than her by doing your part to maintain a cordial relationship with her. Accord her the same respect you want in your own home. Avoid too much contact if she persists in being that way.

hello everyone. New here. Just started learning about FX trading, and will really appreciate any help, advice, links, groups, etc that will facilitate my learning process, and also help me avoid aviodable mistakes.
Thanks a lot.

Gaggi: ^^^^^
I pray u sing d same song in a decade.

My dear, I will be singing a better song in not just the next decade, but in the next four decades. Thanks.

Will be a year old in the institution in the next few weeks (although in our hearts, we have been married since 2008). Its been awesome! Hubby and I met in our lst year in school in 2001, had been friends since. Upped the relationship in 2008 although he had been my closet pal since 2006, thanks to mtn extra cool. Did not even know when I feel in love with him, although I knew he had been in that state since around 2004. In all our years of friendship, we only saw ourselves 3 times a year, but extra cool did the job FROM 2007. I guess you could say we already had a fair idea about the kind of persons we are before the relationship changed. All these years, we had been relating without anything in mind. I even tried pushing him unto someone cos I did not think I was the marrying kind. We knew from 2008 we were headed for the altar, he was serving then, and we finally did last year. There were a lot of expectations. We were both green for one (the guy totally insisted on waiting. See love) and that part of our relationship is...stupendously great. The learning is fun. He is my best friend and vice versa, and that is the way we think of ourselves. The 'husband' or 'wife' title can sometimes bring up unnecessary issues. He helps out with house chores. Been together now is so much better than extra cool calls. I can be a child with him, something I never knew was possible. I play pranks, can be naughty and full of mischief according to him. He is becoming a master at it too, and will perfectly organise his handsome face when he does something naughty, lol (seemingly little right but it keeps the relationship young and sizzling. Many relationships lack this). Wull remember some things at odd times and places, the I will start smiling. Am crazy about him. Issues come up now and then. We are both very private people so third party is a no-no. We are both not the shouting type so we talk it out. I am aways the one generating the issue 80% of the time but he is soooo patient with me, and can be firm when the occassion calls for it. So I have learnt not to go silent when I am pissed as it breaks down communication (he says my silence is so LOUD). We are also factoring in the fact that 'females are emotional beings while males are logical beings' into issues. Helps us understand our most different responses to issues and find a middle ground to resolve them faster, so we both get less pissed about things. He loves God, is truly a practical christian. That is a comfort in itself. He can be annoyingly right, eg, will confirm expiry date before buying anything while me....well. Or the other day he wanted to pop some corn. The guy begin search for recipes for INTERNET o. Lol. For now, we are enjoying being alone. Should start a family in some months time. The best is still to come. We are closer now than when we first married. We are each others best friend, for me that is the highest form of any relationship. He is my best friend first, before he is my husband. Smetimes when I express an opinion very strongly, I will remind him that I am talking as his friend o, to which he will smile. He involves me before taking a decision. Saw him cry for the first time in all the years I have known him few weeks ago when his dad passed on. We talk about EVERYTHING. Which is why issues cannot stay unresolved for long because we want to quickly get back to that unabashed and comfortable with each other zone. And we are growing in wisdom and knowledge everyday in God. Who says christians cannot have it all. I really did not think I will be married cos of ...(another story). Told God then I wanted what some people in the bible had (eg Elkannah and Hannah, Jacob and Rachel, couple in the book of songs of solomon). Did not think it was possible cos I could not settle for less or marry for societal approval so I had already planned on adopting when am ready (when I was in my late teens). But God gave me this man, okay guy, who demonstartes the love described in 1 Cor 13 to me everyday. You will not know we are married but for our rings, we look younger than we really are, thank the good Lord for that. And guess what, the best is yet to come. Marriage is a beautiful institutuon if done right. Makes you more matured, teaches you patience and tolerance. Baby, I LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

Topical studies

I never knew I will be posting so soon on NL or that it will be on this thread. I have been a guest on this forum for 3 years now but only registered few days ago.

My father-in-law died this morning.

Am still in shock without even realizing it cos I gotta be strong for hubby. Last time I saw you was at my wedding almost a year ago. We have been talkin on phone since and one of your favorite line whenever I call is to tell me that I have forgotten you even though the calls could not have been more than 2 weeks apart. Last week when you started feeling down, I called you and asked if you were thinking. Your answer still brings a smile to me. You said that as a man, you are supposed to think (told hubby you are very funny), and I told you to leave that to us kids to do. You promised you would henceforth. Two nights ago after your check up, we asked you to comply strictly to doctor's prescription and you consented but added that your wife should start petting you. Of course we laughed at that. You also told hubby that he will play your role in a family celebration we were all looking forward to next month to which we promptly disagreed with you, I even told you that you are yet to see your grand kids. I do not think you heard me cos you moved on to another subject.

Then yesterday morning, hubby sent me a text that your sugar level has gone up to 441 and that your bp was 160/80. I immediately called Mumsi and then spoke with you. You assured me you have accepted to be admitted and promised to be a good patient (you always listened to me even when you refuse to listen to anyone). That was the last I spoke with you. I had promised to call back later but when hubby did, we were told you were asleep. Only for us to be woken up around past 3am today with the awful news. I could not cry, was just shaking uncontrollably (in a normal situation, hubby would have been concerned since I almost never feel cold by his standards). For the first time, I saw my husband cry today. He has gone to the village, am home alone. Then I remembered this thread and here am I, lighting this candle for you.

You made an unforgettable impression on me the first time I met you. I came to visit hubby in 2003 I think. You left what you were doing and spent quiet some time with me gisting. Twas the first time the parent of a friend did that to me (and I promised myself afterwards that I will always get to know my kids' friends, possibly become their friends too). You were fun that day. Next few visits (that tend to be almost a year apart) had you trying to matchmake hubby and I. Told you that we were just great pals but I knew you were serious. When I finally visited again in 2008 as his babe, the one thing that helped me settle and flow with the family was my already established relationship with you. Thank you for this awesome son of yours who doubles as my best friend and husband. Thank you for truly taking me in as your daughter.

I regret you will not see your  grand kids. I had good plans for you. You would have liked them. I was looking forward to seeing you next month at Lag, now its your remains I will be seeing soon. Its still a rude shock. A very rude shock indeed.

I will miss you. Truly. Will tell the kids about you when they come. Some parents would have been pressuring for grand kids but in certain ways, you acted like a white man. The recent stuff with my job that prompted Mumsi to mention me during your prayers had you calling me few weeks ago. You said,"I asked her whether it was MY OWN RHAPSODY! (was so touched by the highlighted)" and you promptly called to reassure yourself that I was ok. You will be sorely missed.

Good night Dad! Adieu!