seun,

why did it take so long to reply and the reply isn't from the doctor in the house?

well, i don't excercise

You are stressed up/depressed and don't have time to even eat but you found yourself adding by the day.

That is why every woman should be self reliance. There is a limit to endurance. No one can endure death. So when you know your marraige is about taking your life the best is to step out for a while and have a rethink. If you die the marriage you have been trying to keep living will die also and your children will be left without you and your support/role. If you step out when your marriage is a threat to your life your children will have you and their father. You will be alife to play your role, 100% to your children and their father will be there to play his role if he wishes. YOUR LIFE FIRST - FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND THE PURPOSE FOR WHICH GOD SENT YOU HERE ON EARTH FOR. (MARRIAGE IS NO CERTIFICATE TO HEAVEN)

Any hardworking, determined and optimistic woman will not leave her husbands house to retire in her parents house with her children.

LABY B,

Wise talk!

kajad,

how far, I never see u for a long time now.

Mamaput!

please answer this question:

Life and Marriage, which one comes first/ which one should you protect first?

lunafish:

I would like to thank those children. What they're doing is unorthodox but it's the best they feel they can do in this situation.

If a parent is being overly abusive I feel that the children has a right to defend themselves and they are being selfless by defending their mother.

Unfortunately the best weapon the mother has is her feet. She needs to leave.

I don't blame the kids. the murderous side in me would come out if someone was abusing my mother.

She left after the man destroyed her truck box, that was last year March. But my dear she exposed the family to danger. one, I feel tha man isn't himself, it is the strategy of the devil to use him to drive the woman away so that they can have full chance to attack the family.

Why did I say this, the woman is a prayerful woman. Immediately she left the man had struck, right now he is half paralized. The second son, Nkesi, the one I love most, just started swelling and cannot walk. I went to see him in the clinic yesterday after church with my church members and there I saw the mother. She said the family wanted her out so that they could have time to attack the man and her children. And I asked if she has come back and her response was: "How I go do?"

Ilola,

Well, you spoke well.

Surprisingly, is those kind of women that would want to identify with the child in the future and when the child neglects them they will cry most, singing bad news of the child.

Sym:

If my hubby wears his ring, its nice and will make me feel good. but please be ye all informed, "ring or no ring" man go do wetin e wan do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sym,

Nor bi all men oh! Some dey, with or without ring, they are faithfull.

Ilola,

What if it happens what will u do. You can't just tell your man could be that type, Then what would you do. (Though God isn't going to give u what u don't want).

kajab,

u funny oh! May be u are right!

You had a child for a guy because he doesn't care you feel the best way to pay him back is to dump the little baby for him and walk away. Or keeping the child under somebody's elses care because you want to live as though you never had a child.

The family has intervened and have decided to be silent. The last I experienced was when he broke to pieces the wife's truck box. The family fined him and forced him to pay for the box, but my dear he refused. Inshort the man is something else. The 2 years I stayed in that compound I can count the times he didn't fight with the wife. I tried to talk to the children not to allow their father make them put curse upon their head but I saw no change. If you look at it from another angle you won't fully blame the children.

All the same thank God am out of that compound. I POSTED THIS TOPIC FOR PEOPLE TO COMMENT ON THE CAUSES AND LIKELY REMEDIES TO HELP UP COMING FAMILIES

babymine,

Thank you.

Is it what you experiencing?

I think the core cause of this kind of problems is lack of communication. If there is communication gab between your wife and your family from the unset, then in a condition of lack there must be this kind of problems. Since there has been gab between your wife and your family from the unset and the only link was the finance you used to give them and now it is not forth coming, the conclusion would be she has succeeded in finally disconnecting you from them.

That is why it is very important to established a sound relationship between your wife and your family from the begginning, if not your marriage will suffer from that angle. Let them know this is your wife and that you cherish her. Don't protect her from your people. Sometimes, let her sort things out herself with them. She is suppose to be part of the family. I AM REFERING TO A GOOD WIFE WITH A GOOD INTENTION FOR YOUR FAMILY AND AM ASSUMING THAT YOUR FAMILY IS ALSO GOOD, COS SOME WOMEN BEFORE MARRIAGE HAVE DECIDED TO BE HOSTILE TO THEIR INLAWS AND SAME TO THE INLAWS. You the man is the Head, the way you present your wife is the way your family will take her and the way you present your family is the way your wife will take them. Stop talking your family down in front of your wife and stop talking your wife down to your family. Let the past be past, stop narreting the past of your family to your wife, they will definately influence the way she reacts to them and never make the mistake of narreting the past of your wife to your family. Let them discover themselves and make amendments as at when due. If you are not careful in handling matters between them you the man could cause problem between a good wife and a good inlaw.

My elder brother made the same mistake and he is paying for that unrest right now.

My Landlord is fond of harrassing the wife and whenever he does that he receives enough beating from the children and the mother. So  he has learned now to attack the woman when the children are not around. Although most times the woman will not report to the children. But when they notice any mark on their mother's face that day the father is in trouble. Sometimes they lock him in and flog the hell out of him. I sometimes help him out when he screems but most times I let them do what they want.

Sometimes he will cage the wife in (including me because my apartment was within the compound) to lock the children out in order to give the wife enough beating and you will see the children stoning from outside through the gate. There was a day they broke my louvres with a stone and that was the month I packed out.

What do  you think is the cause of such complete death of morals in a family?

Then why this statement:

Chief2B:

I don't even have to ask her to know the answer to that one, she would have said "no". My wife prefers older men. Something about older men being more "refined" in their ways!

Chief2B,

I would want you to ask your wife if she would have accepted to marry you if she was 11 years older than you?

Chief2B:

A "real" man that is devoted to his wife should be able to tell "others" that he is not available!

C'mon people, it doesn't hurt to say "No thanks, I'm happily married"!

Chief2B,

you sound like a very responsible man. keep it up.

Well, one man's meat is another mans poison.

for me oh, I can do with the fact it could happen with someone you really have soft spots for, but not a continues thing.

But must men complain of not being comfortable with it. What if your man gives such complain. Will you still compel him to wear?

beyouce,

I mean your husband.

beyunce:

y not.

Do you mean just a fling, maybe because you have soft spot for the person or proper dating?

But insist you most wear urs at all times.

Say you are 30, the guy is 19.