Giddyperson:


What's the hurry, she's only twenty. Your parents can atleast ask the guy to wait until she gains admission into the University. Atleast that's not saying no. If he can't wait, there are plenty other 'yellow pawpaws' in the river.

The guy quickly used school as a means to get the parent's attention. You think this is love? It might just be a fantasy of deflowering a young girl. Some men are so crazy about furking a virgin that they will go to any length to achieve that. He should wait for the girl to finish her school or close to that.

Mosesbutez:
I don't know what to do again. ... Anyway, everything is in the hands of God. .. She is a praying type and I had ask her to pray that God will show her a sign if he is her partner for life or not. ..

Only God knows our future. .

God gave us brain for a reason. Investigate the guy, what he does for a living etc. It is your sister anyway. I might ask the mod to delete this thread after now. I have passed my message as God would expect me to do.

Dear Mosesbutez,

I read your thread and I know many people might not see my post hence I am putting this here for you and anyone who might learn something from it.

It brought back memories I had buried and I must confess I am in pains right now.

Some years ago, I came back from school and met a strange face in our house. So, I inquired who he was and I was made to understand that he wants to marry my sister. I was like WTF? Marry what? I tried to counter their position but I met a brick wall. He had successfully gained the trust of my mother and brother, while my sister was glued already.

At that time, I found out that before I came from school, my cousin and a childhood friend of the family had tried to rebel against the dude, just like my case, my brother, sister and mother had been cast by his spells.

It got so bad that they see anyone who spoke as an enemy of progress and I being a quiet one was often seen as not to know anything. I am an introvert but very calculative when people make moves. I knew what will be the end result and since my own ELDER brother who was supposed to be the head and protect the family couldn't do anything, who am I ? Even if my mum didn't know what was happening, he should have acted as a man.

This dude can cry REAL tears when he tells his stories, so much that you will pity him. It became a case of stories upon stories and money was being spent as the stories were coming.

It was becoming glaring that something was fishy about him but by then, it was too late. Almost a million naira had been spent, which was a lot of money at that time. We went from one police to another, picked him up, beat him up but nothing could be gotten from it. TOO LATE, just too late. He started coming up with numerous quarrel and each time it happens, he would take pictures they took and tear them. My sister didn't know he was covering up his tracks. It was later discovered he has a wife somewhere with a kid.

The family was thrown into confusion, my mother became depressed, fell in the bathroom and dislocated a bone behind her back, which we never knew. That fall led to more problems for her about 2 years later and we started spending money on hospital bills. It got so bad that she could no longer walk for as much as 10 minutes before looking for where to sit. She need a stool to sit when in the bathroom, took drugs and anything just to get over the pain and eventually she died.

Our house that was being built was abandoned, I couldn't go back to school on time and had to spend extra 2 years at home doing menial jobs such as sale boy, wrote exams for people, home tutor, labourer... just name it. The bastard saw me where I was doing a sale boy job but acted like he does not know me. I didn't say anything because it was a public place.

What am I trying to tell you, Mosesbutez? Better protect your sister while you still can. I read where you said you do not want to speak for some silly reasons, even including a prophet into the equation. If anything happens to that girl in the future, my spirit will not forgive you., Better investigate who the fork is that guy and throw sentiments out of the window and I need to tell you my sister is fair, naturally fair like the one we call yellow paw paw, not bleach?

As for the bastard who wrecked my home, I haven't set my eyes on him and the day I do, he is definitely going to be rendered useless for the rest of his life,even if it takes me 10 years or more, except I am not who I am. I do not forgive some sins, even though I am the most quiet among my siblings.

All those people saying she is 20 and should be ready for marriage. You have no idea what is lurking around this days, do you know if she is needed for rituals?

If anything happens to that your sister, nature will not forgive you. Nuff said!

Mosesbutez:
For a 20 years old girl to get married, is it right? .......... According the her parents, the guy came when she who just 18 years and still in secondary school but was rejected by the parents bcoz she was underaged and still in ss3 .

Then after 2 years the guy came back again and still begs the parents to marry her but she had wrote jamb this year and is still waiting for the screening and admission to commence. The only reason that guy wanted to get married to the girl is because he said that he like natural fair skin ladies, intelligent and from the same village ( home town ). He had promised her that he would take care of her education when married to her . From the parents view, the guy is from a very good home.

They asks my opinion on the matter and what I thought is that the girl has not matured enough. I hadn't reply to the parents so I seek to get information first before replying. .

The girl in question is my little sister. .. Please I need advice from married or someone that has an experience of it. .. Please

Listen to me and listen very, I had to come in when I read that YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK so as not to be seen as an obstacle to prosperity.

If you love that little girl DO NOT , I REPEAT DO NOT let this happen. That guy is just driven by imagination of forking a fresh virgin. He may not really love her. They come in different skin. That is how one came into our home and before we knew it, scammed my mother which later led to her death. NUFF SAID! If that girl end up with that guy nature will not forgive you! Better protect her.

CaptainCodes:
Fell in love once stupidly, she broke my heart... saw her intimate with another guy,... cried quietly for some days..., and thankfully my younger brother encouraged me. Moved on, ...but became bad, oh yes, meant it...coz I was too hurt.
Calmed down a bit now tho, coz am in love again...but this time, hopefully, am wiser.

So the assertion, that good guys are changed by women to bad, is true.

good you calmed down. I allowed mine to get too much till I missed an angel.

modath:






One day, one day, when we'd have had it up to our "temples" (neck not enough), we'll grow ginormous cojones & march to that den of corruption named NASS,& proceed to burn the whole place down.. 75% of this nation's problems originate from there.

If they are not padding budget, they are missing sessions so no meaningful bill that will advance the lives of their constituencies, or they are receiving bribe from the executives to look the other way!!

One single life and destiny changing bill, in 17+yrs, we've not seen one!! God punish

You are on your own madam.

Fela already said it. "We fear to fight for freedom" if we unite against those bastards I see no reason why they won't sit up.

Toks2008:


You nailed it bro but ironically my recent ex who will be 34 in few months displays all you wrote...infact I practically asked her to give me breathing space..some ladies are either confused or jinxed.

kai... I wanted to respond to that guy with something like this but refrained from it. I had to after seeing this.

Like you said some girls are jinxed.

I have this 32 year old lady I like. She has good manners, well bred BUT she does not seem to know what is good for her in terms of guys she choose to date because they do not value her.

We served together where she dated a guy younger than her. He never treated her right but she stayed put. Post NYSC I approached her and she still tell me she has someone else at 32? I feel pity for her but just want to give her till next year. Anything after that, she should have herself to blame.

You might feel why wait but truth is that the girl is good, a perfect wife material BUT her choice of piking guys is her greatest undoing and she is the type that does not leave a relationship even if it's not favouring her. Pathetic.

AfroKnight:


Lol. That's the pure truth there. No other babe will be good enough until you get over her.

People just have to give you tough love to ginger you from the doldrums of heartbreak that's why they say stuff like what Toks wrote.

I remember one babe who broke my heart then chai. I nearly kolo with sadness My guys just dey try encourage me, who sai, e nor work. That time sef, I was surrounded by fine fine single babes, but I was blind. My babe nor fine reach those girls o but na dat my babe gan gan I want. No other. I buried myself in work. With time, I got over her. Foolish love.

lol exactly like mine. She no fine reach other girls. Na after the heart break my eyes open to fine chikalas so Tey I go ask myself say na this ugly thing I been dey kill myself for?

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

don't you think you are over reacting? This how you people cause enmity unnecessarily.

People are from diverse backgrounds and should be handled differently.

Alexgeneration:
. How does staying with one's in-law connotes "involve into their private affairs? From the OP's complain,the guy is not interfering in their private life.Rather, all I can deduce from her is that she wants to turn the guy to a househelp just because he is "eating her food" and "staying in her house".Will she make such complains if the guy is from her side of the family?

I never wanted to comment but I had to after reading this.

We have to look at it from another angle. If the subject owned the house, wouldn't he wash plates and fetch water?

I learned long ago that we should treat things like our own. The guy should learn to take that house like his own with a bit of caution though. That is the way I see it considering he had been there for more than 1 year, does it make sense to keep acting like a stranger?

Earlier this year I visited a friend when I noticed he was using a broom to sweep his tiled floor. When he wasn't around, I went to shop for better broom with handle, I told him to drive me to the market let's get things to eat and paid the bills more than once.

Sometimes I paid money to fuel the his gen and all this happened with 3 days of my arrival. I don't believe I am stranger anywhere I find myself.

If the OP had complained while he was just a week old in her house, that is a different thing. 1 year is very wrong, especially the one that has to do washing his own plates.

Kachisbarbie:
Most definitely.
I can't believe I once had faith in this party...

Well, I am in same shoes as you. but we have to do what we got to do.

dunkem21:
OK, let me ask my people ..

If you agree with Yakassi that APC will lose in 2019, click *Like..

*Share if you feel APC will win in 2019..

many people are in church, some are going. Wait for them to be back. we shall know by end of the day.

I am no longer angry with elites. I am now angry with every citizens--especially the masses who damn to greedy, selfish, self centered and scared to do the right--fight these bastards. So many people ONLY think about themselves in this country.

I was so angry some days back such that if I had a bomb to wipe off the entire country of the global map, I will gladly do it. So that the world will know we are not existing. Instead being stagnant, retrogressing.

if we can not fight those monsters now, we are all bastards.

8Billion naira that will go into numerous pockets and not even a single poor Niger Deltan will benefit from this. Tomorrow, they will be back for 10Billion naira, 20 billion naira while the foolish Niger Deltan citizens will blame the federal government instead of holding their own leaders responsible.

What will they use the 8billion naira for? Is roads, schools, industrialization? certainly NOT if history serve me right.

I have given up on this country for good... I will do anything in my own capacity to steal what I can and when I can. Fork this country.

Bunch to fools everywhere, never seen a country where people blame others for their own woes.

xxxtedyxxx:


Keep her coming for more. Leave her wanting and missing u. Don't contsct her or talk/ give her all ur time. U need to make her miss u...appear scarce for a while.

Keep acting like a bf....

Try to read these two threads.

www.nairaland.com/3129312/still-make-mistake-women

www.nairaland.com/3151863/attention-single-guys-need-gf

Play it cool bro.

bro, Can I speak to you on phone?

onome324:

dude, you are about to lose your babe ooo.

bukatyne:
What about your dad?

We have lived our lives without dad, he was long gone... just mum and us.

Somehow, my mum died and it was time to bury her. On the way to where she was to be buried, her sister refused to go beyond a certain KM with the excuse that her car can't go further because of the bad road. I didn't bother to talk much. Nobody argued with her. My mother was buried and everyone went their separate ways after the burial.

A year later, she started calling my elder brother to come and see her because she has something to discuss with him. My elder brother never wanted to go but I told him that for posterity sake, we should go and so that she wont have an excuse in the future by saying she called us because she wanted to help but we refused. I further hinted that I know nothing will come out of the visit.

We got there eventually and she said she wanted to start large scale recharge card business and that she would want us to manage the business for her. Before we knew it, she changed next day and said errmmm... we should get a spot and that she will provide us with table and chair where we can start making calls and taking records of daily sales. I and my brother looked at ourselves and smiled.


That was the last she saw of us.

We never bug her for anything. With faith and God's grace, I went back to school and completed my education from where I stopped. My younger sister managed to leave Nigeria for Dubai and got a small job there. we have been living our lives without asking any family member for help like they did to our own mum when she had money.

Some time last month, my sister visited her when she came from Dubai and according to her, she said my aunt was crying. I was like cry for what? Now she has nothing aside the house where she asked us to pack out from some years ago. The car that she was protecting and refused to leave in order to bury her own sister who sweated for her nko? I was with her in that city for over 5 years but never visited her until I left.

According to my sister, she now sells kerosene and was begging her that we shouldn't abandon her only child and daughter because she has got no one.

I remember how she was feeling pompous over her car, electronics etc but today, those items are so way back that if you give secondary school kid in this current state of the country, he wont accept them even for free. This aunt would yell at the slightest opportunity if you dare touch her property. She was often monitoring what we do because we were in her house, even went as far as opening goods that my mum sent to another of my sibling through someone else... what was she looking for?

The things money do to people is really funny.

Please, lay good foundation for your children. Those kids you look down on might not be what you imagine them to be in the next 5 years. The world is changing and changing very fast. Remember it will you might leave this world and it will remain your own kids.

Hello,

I felt like sharing something with members of this section and hope that something is learned.

I happened to be born into a family where everyone was always surrounding my late mother. Our house was like a cinema centre where people come to watch movies or where people pay homage to their king.

Actually, I never really understood what was going on but it felt like a world filled with love or so it seemed. In the 90s, my mother was the major supplier of building materials for the building of a stadium[name of stadium removed] it was first awarded to an European company.

You can imagine the benefit of being in such post the serious cash flow of money. You know bees will always be attracted to honey and so, she was attracted to so many bees. She housed so many relatives, many had their issues but for the sake of brevity, I will pick one.

Her younger sister was among these persons who gained from her. I was very young but images of those times are still visible in my mind.

This sister was with us for several months to a year until she left the country. While she was away, she left her daughter with my mum and my mum was paying the daughter's school fees with mine and my other siblings. My mother never complained one day or nag her to bring money for the daughter's school fees.

Things started to change for her and they conspired to take her daughter away from us.... a lot happen over the years, so many that I can't writer here. we relocated to the south and my aunt requested that my mum should stay at her house. after some year there, something happened and she asked us to leave her house. It was after that time my mother recounted how this same sister led to her lose of job in the banking industry. We left her house all the same to get our own.

This woman was in money...a lot of it.

tpia100k:
Do you not have a moral compass?

Una nor dey even hide una witchcraft again, na wa o.

Very unchristian attitude and behaviour, repent for the kingdom of God is at hand.

why do u always create too many handles? I have lost counts of your handles from tpia1, tpiaaaa, tpia 4 and now tpia100k... na wa o.

coogaluta:



choooiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!
This girl must be Iron lady
Will you marry my brother?

Alutacontinua, how far

petkruz:
Yes that's the simple truth.
Before you go about trying to apply what you read in the books to your relationship, always bear in mind u dating an African man,not Brad pitt or Leonardo dicaprio.It wouldn't work,dont be so naive. I'v got a list of them,and mind you i'v read ALL.

1)why men love bitches

2)why men marry bitches

3)act like a lady,think like a man

4)for women only

5)rules of love

6)the 5 love languages etc

You see ladies rushing to buy these books,hoping to grab lessons to run their relationship.Don't get deceived,not everything you read should be applied.Apply wisdom!!

what if you ask for his short or long term goals and he tells you a fat lie just to put a smile on your lips?
What if you wait 90days to release the cookie and he dumps you the 91st day after pounding you.
What if he helps you out with all the house chores just to have a taste of the cookie and flees with the speed of light
What if you bring him over to meet the family yet he dumps you.
What if you are too independent and scare him off.

Don't even think of playing that "phone game" thing of waiting a week for him to call. A typical naija man wouldn't call you after acting up or bring flowers and chocolate to your office,that only happens in Telemundo. Wake up!! Pick up the phone and call,that makes you more matured to handle whatever is coming.

If you think being extremely proud would make him fall at your feet,think properly.A lot of girls are looking for boyfriends,you would soon be a side chick before you even blink.

Now even if u cram his 5 love languages,you need wisdom.People are spontaneous,people change their mood randomly.

If you think as a typical African woman,eating outside is best even when you know how to cook,just to tell your man you are posh and sleek and can't get your nails ruined you need to visit TB joshua for prayers. Only a weak man would tolerate that rubbish with you.

Enough said,read those books,grab the meaningful and realistic things and always bear in mind you dealing with an African man not a white puppet.

I am in love with you and I mean it!

teddy7:
finally op is here she told me she would think abt it nd after d long awaited thinking she finally told me she has a boyfriend wen I met her. I didn't jst bail. I continued syking her through one on one convo and texts but this chick is hard boiled. saying dsame thing..that she knw I care abou her but she has sm1 she loves (this chick dey form scater even as she says dis) I finally gave her som break nd 2 my surprise she called me after two days asking how I was and all dat. so I decided to continue frm whr I stopped lol but dis gurl is jst on and on with dsame replies. e dey pain me cus I truly care about dis gurl n I jst dnt knw how 2 mk her bliv... op help...im running out of options o

dude, stop asking her out and start acting like her boyfriend. She has given you the go ahead but you are missing it. The fact that she called you is a big green light.

See, I missed an opportunity like this cos I listened to a lady's words instead of her body language and by the time I realised it, it was too late already cos she got someone else.

So, don't make that mistake.

Iceg:
plss guys help me, there is this gal i like , her friends told me SHE likes me and her twin sister already calls me inlaw, but wen told her i liked her, SHE said SHE doesnt want to distract me cos am a medicine student, den SHE also said dat Dere is tym 4 everything, but i insisted, den SHE said SHE likes me as a friend, plzz am confused , i rili lyk her, wat do i do

what level are you in medicine?

iamdeclan:


Yea,av also done that b4.A friend of mine even told me once but don't know y am still dz way.As 4 having other gals,I do av oda gals,3 oda gals to be specific but any tym I try tinking of den just to clear her off my mind,it doesn't work.Recently she came visiting at my& if I should say d truth,I was boring to her,didn't move close,no much contact.talked to her 4rm length.wen she finally left she got rly angry wit me dat I made her feel lyk she z not appealing because i do tell her of gals dat came &we had fun&even kissed.I asked her out after dz but her ques was still dsame.
Av reduced my attachment to her,she does most of d calling gan though we still chat& I remember her once telling me dz word " d reason am still talking to u even yl I say I can't date u is cos half of me wants u but d oda half doesn't want u because all guys seem fakish to me now"

*smiles* wackyj1 said this to me yesterday as we chatted and you just proved him right! He told me you have gotten her but just haven't realized it yet. At this point, don't ask her the question anymore.

You, right now you have to prove yourself to her. Start acting like her boyfriend and stop asking her to date you.

Djboosting:



Lost? .. To me- No... but if u accept u lost her, It's still cool.. life goes on...


MISTAKES MADE
U see sadly, from the little deep meaning I FOUND out from Ur UN-SEEN convo (conversations) with her, it's like two things pretty obvious here. .

1.. She wants a fling (short time parole) with you, but u made it clear to her U're attaching feelings into the talks.. she saw that and she flaked...

2.. U're trying too hard to please her, to make her happy... U're being too nice.. and worst, U're making it obvious that u really like her and really NEED her.. and most importantly the convo is not sparking any EMOTION from her...

the only attraction she has is from the eye contact from the wedding... but now she's got the real u a little and she felt nothing much on it.. so the attraction dies...


I'm out...

#peace_man

chei bro. So that's the end, isn't there any solution? Well, I called her with a different number and she picked but ask that I call her back cos she is in class. I called her next morning and explained. She said she will unblock the whatsapp but never did.

However, I never give up on her just meant to give her space. I should have limited the communication from the onset which is my usual way of doing things since my first baptism of heartbreak fire.

But on following my bros advice who urge me to reach her everyday, it spoil the whole thing.

Just advice me on how I can revive this whole thing.

Djboosting:


U see sadly, the easiest way to go into a friendzone is SEEKING REACTIONS or VALIDATION from a woman...

Why most men land into friend zone is because they don't bet on themselves and act all cool and nice to make women like them.. they crack jokes ALL THE TIME with women (get the words there - "all the time" ) and they always follow her lead...

Women don't want someone they would be leading, they NEED someone who will LEAD them ..

() I can't start explaining the procedures about the way women are WIRED with typings.. () ..

example of ways guys who fall into friendzone and also the others who don't fall into friendzone talks with women..

**enters eatery or a bar**

Friendzone guy : "can I buy u a drink?", OR "which drink do u want me to buy you, ABC or XYZ?"..
(this one always seek her lead)

Badboy guy : "See I'm going there to buy two drinks, sit here and wait for me"... OR .. "Looks like they've got drink ABC here, I'm getting us two chilled ones" ..
(this guy leads the conversation)

You see the difference In the conversation up there?

Always LEAD LEAD LEAD


if u always lead, no lady will friendzone or whatever they call it... with u.. because she'll be seeing a MAN not just a MALE child to babysit

#peace_man

I understand... on to the babe we talked about last time. I was beginning to feel irritated by her monosyllabic replies and had to ask why she does that as if she is unhappy for some undisclosed reasons. I told her she is more bigger than that and more intelligent or am I bugging her.

The reply I got was rather shocking. She said I am more mannerless than she thought and is that how I talk to people whats my business with how she responds.

Blocked my number on whatsapp and calls. I don't know how to hide when something isn't right. so I guess I lost this one already.

jetworldpee:
na wa for your kind person broda, oga teddy had already mention it before never to ask a girl out,just act like her boyfriend, she will always raise her guard once she saw you coming with a question like did you have a boyfriend or will you be my girlfriend thingy, she probably will reply with I have a boyfriend,no girl want to be considered single even if she is fvcking single, attraction should be emotional not logical.... #peace.

You mean you shouldn't define the relationship but just act like her boyfriend? how is that done and wouldn't it lead to being friendzoned?

Djboosting:


I'll take this as a compliment sadly... Thanks..

How the fvck are you today?
I'm sure U're really awesome, So I need u to be more awesome tomorrow.. Good...

Now to Ur request..

U see, I firstly congratulate you on the issue of KEEPING an EYE CONTACT with her, which made her have a slight view of Ur intention to make a pact with her... Good move..

Now I have a question for u here, cos
1.. u met her in a wedding/couples gathering even acting a chief bridesmaid... probably in her unconscious, she have the full details of the events of that very day in her brain...
So she might view u to be a potential HUBBY and dats not too cool for u, cos u might end up turning her emotions down against her if u just b*ang and let her be.. She wouldn't like that either. **heartbreak alert**

2.. If she met someone she's dating already and she just want a fling from u for a short time parole.. that's the best frame to make the fvck happen and let it all go...


So my question for u is...

"Are u attaching the wedding feeling (in number 1) or u just want her for short time (number 2) ?"


#peace

I am forking awesome, buddy .

I have no intention of just forking her... It's with good intentions I ask that question. I understand that majority of the people on here may have such intentions as the atmosphere depicts but please note that there are some guys (like me) with a different ideology. If all goes well eventually, why won't I do the needful.

So, bro, advice accordingly. God bless you.

P.S: She agreed to see when she is on brief break from school(a final year student) for the elections and so far her response has been okay when we chat, though I do most of the chat initiation while she responds with monosyllabic words. I am okay with that as I have come to realise that girls behave weird in cases like this. So, I can endure it for the mean time as we are just getting to know each other.

Physically, she has got what I like, the curves, hips and beauty. The only thing remaining is assessing her character to know if she has it all.

sadly:
OP, nice job on here. I just want to know how best to handle this.

I met a lady at a wedding and I really liked what I saw. She was the chief bridesmaid to the bride. But cos of her role on that day, I couldn't chat her up but I did made sure we had lots of eye contact. She caught me staring at her a few times.

On thanks giving day, I collected her number from the bride nd we have been chatting ever since. I called her today...

My question is how and when should I let her know I want to date her? Should I pop the question straight or just be friends with her for now while giving her green light? How do I transit?

Thanks

Djboosting please help me here.

OP, nice job on here. I just want to know how best to handle this.

I met a lady at a wedding and I really liked what I saw. She was the chief bridesmaid to the bride. But cos of her role on that day, I couldn't chat her up but I did made sure we had lots of eye contact. She caught me staring at her a few times.

On thanks giving day, I collected her number from the bride nd we have been chatting ever since. I called her today...

My question is how and when should I let her know I want to date her? Should I pop the question straight or just be friends with her for now while giving her green light? How do I transit?

Thanks

I just want to say thanks to everyone who commented. Much appreciated.