₦airaland Forum

Popular relationship coach and lead pastor of David’s Christian Centre, Kingsley Okonkwo, has sparked a debate on social media after charging men to raise their standards and stop marrying women who are “liabilities.”

In a series of posts shared via his official X (formerly Twitter) handle on Sunday, the cleric argued that the growing lack of interest in marriage among men stems from the perception of the institution as a financial burden rather than a partnership.

He wrote, “Men, it’s high time we start having standards as well. You guys are too used to women who are liabilities, that’s why less and less men desire marriage, they see it as a burden.

“Men set standards like you won’t marry broke women too, that you want a partner and not a dependent, maybe it will make more women work and not see marriage and dating as a poverty alleviation scheme.”

Addressing the religious and social implications of the current trend, Okonkwo described the expectation for men as “unbiblical” and “damaging.”

He noted that while women “brazenly insist on rich men,” men must also “insist on working women who will contribute.”

The cleric did not spare men who intentionally seek out vulnerable partners to exert power, attributing this behaviour to fragile egos.

“Yes, I know some of you men like the needy, hungry and dependent women because it boosts your ego and helps you control women, but it’s doing more harm than good. All humans have value and abilities; let them develop it,” he cautioned.

His posts have since triggered a mix of support and criticism from Nigerians.

Supporting the pastor’s view, a user identified as #digitalbimpe commented, “I can never be a liability to my man. Inasmuch as I want my man to take care of me, I also will take care of my man. To be a man is not easy.”

Similarly, Ibukun Ogunsola, who tweets as #IbukunHQ, noted that if men made it clear they wanted partners, not dependants, “it might push more women to work for themselves rather than rely on dating for financial support.”

However, critics argued that the “provider” role remains a male responsibility, as #blueasake countered, “The man’s responsibility is to provide, lead, and protect… The woman’s role is to birth kids, nurture, comfort and teach. Why then are men so quick to label a woman a liability if she is not co-providing yet?”

Another user, #edolefty, slammed the narrative as a way for men to avoid their responsibilities while still expecting domestic labour.

“If a woman without money is a liability, then a man who needs his wife’s salary to afford marriage is also a liability. What you are preaching isn’t standards, it’s men looking for wives who will split bills and still perform unpaid wife duties,”

1Alex:
Nigeria’s Problem Is Not Population, It Is Systemic Corruption and Failed Governance

Every time Nigerians complain about bad policies and poor governance, some defenders of the system quickly say the same thing: “Nigeria’s population is too big.” They claim reforms cannot work because the country has too many people.

But this argument collapses when you compare Nigeria with India.

India has about 1.4 billion people, while Nigeria has roughly 220 million. That means India has more than six times Nigeria’s population. Yet Nigeria has repeatedly ranked among the countries with the largest number of people living in extreme poverty despite its smaller population.

So population clearly is not the real problem.

Now look at natural resources.

Nigeria is blessed with enormous wealth: crude oil, natural gas, bitumen, limestone, coal, iron ore, vast arable land, and a young workforce. For decades, oil alone has generated hundreds of billions of dollars. India does not have that kind of natural resource advantage. Yet India invested heavily in manufacturing, technology, education, and infrastructure, building industries that employ millions.

Nigeria did the opposite.

Instead of using oil wealth to industrialize the country, successive governments allowed corruption, waste, and elite capture to dominate the system. The result is a country rich in resources but poor in outcomes.

Take the issue of national budgets.

The federal government announces massive budgets every year. But implementation is often poor. For example, the National Assembly criticized the 2024 budget performance when it stood at about 43 percent, with capital projects performing even worse.

Capital spending is the part of the budget that builds roads, railways, power plants, hospitals, and industries. But most of Nigeria’s spending goes to recurrent costs like salaries and government overheads, leaving little for development.

The situation in 2025 raised even more concern. Reports indicated that many ministries received zero or near-zero capital releases, meaning projects approved in the budget were not funded at all.

In fact, government officials had to explain to lawmakers why the 2025 capital budget had reportedly recorded zero implementation despite being approved.

To make matters worse, the government even deferred about 70 percent of the 2025 capital projects to the 2026 budget, effectively postponing development again.

This kind of fiscal mismanagement slows economic growth and keeps the country stuck in a cycle of poverty.

Another major problem is debt.

Nigeria now spends a large portion of its revenue servicing debt. In 2024, about 69 percent of government revenue went into debt servicing, leaving limited funds for development projects.

Add insecurity to the mix — from banditry to farmer-herder conflicts — and agricultural production drops, industries suffer, and investors stay away.

The result is predictable.

Despite massive oil revenues over the past five decades, Nigeria still struggles with electricity, infrastructure, healthcare, education, and industrialization. Meanwhile, countries with fewer natural resources have built stronger economies simply because their systems work better.

So when people say Nigeria’s population is the problem, they are avoiding the real issue.

The truth is simple: Nigeria’s biggest problem is corruption, weak institutions, and poor leadership.

A country with Nigeria’s resources should not be struggling like this. Until systemic corruption is tackled and governance improves, budgets will keep failing, reforms will keep collapsing, and the country will continue underperforming.

Population did not destroy Nigeria.
Bad governance did.

Maxymilliano:
The man who brought Barthlomew Ogbeche to national spotlight

May his soul RIP

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Wealthyonos:
For your mind you made sense abi? You're owing someone money, without remorse, you will still go ahead to sue... Rubbish and ingredients.. If you had paid the debt, all these shots wouldn't happen... Got that?

Richtaiwo:
For salary of 150k monthly, the yearly earning is 1.8m, not 3.6m. What you will get as gratuity on exit is 1.8m, which is the 100%

However, note, the 100% is your basic, not with allowances. So you need to check your payslip to know your basic pay.