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Contact them @ yomi@daycoup.com and on 09-2912088.
Check [url][
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FlowerPower:

Sandra I am very well traveled, so I am aware that there is a world outside of the US. However the US is my home. As for my friend, who by the way is not my partner, he is a proud Nigerian man. He loves his country, but he also knows that he can make more money with his education in the US. Is Nigeria's economy more stable than the US? Are jobs more plentiful in Nigeria? The man is using common sense. Many of my Nigerian associates want to return home one day, but they have no desire to go home until they have made their fortune here. Dangote is an exception and not the norm. Let's not be so harsh on each other sister. Now if I based my opinion of Nigerian women on what other people say, I would think that they were all ruthless golddiggers. Since I personally know some very wonderful Nigerian women, I know this isn't true. I still think you should consider giving him a chance. He is quite the catch. Pitter Patter away.

I did say I was walking away, but.... Your opinion of Nigerian women whatever that is is your prerogative (I'm unsure how that was inserted here). My comment stated before is based on my perception of condescension in your description of your friend and what I have noticed from reading posts & discussions by American ladies (some of) and not some conjectural information distilled from others that I have to balance with people I know. He does not have to be your partner to afford him some respect. Anyways I am not interested in him nor have anything against you and I hope I don't come across like I do . Feel free to continue to describe your friends as you deem fit while they cook and stuff. I know I get the best from my man and friends because I treat and talk good about them. Cheers!

Give me your contact information and I will pass it along to him.

Thanks, but I'll pass

There are cultural differences quite all right.

I do not know his circumstances growing up or any plans you guys have discussed about sending your kids away for a while but you have to realize that there is a world outside the US, and that world is increasingly affluent. Being raised American is all well and good but there are several people globally who don't care for that and a lot of them live in Nigeria. Simply because they can be affluent with the opportunities here. There are lots of Nigerians heading back home for those opportunities.
That is the very reason I'd pass on someone like him. I only date people (not necessarily Nigerians) who love themselves first and are resourceful enough to see opportunities where others don't.
Btw, I understood what you meant about knowing him like the bottom of your foot. I just pick up a lot of condescending vibes about how American ladies refer to their men in general and any discerning person will pick it up here too.
Cheers,
I'm out of this thread. *pattering footsteps as walks away*

FlowerPower:

I'm smiling like a Cheshire cat right now, but let me respond.

1. your post seems so misandrist
"Hunty I loves me some men" . I wonder if only Americans get what I just said. See that is part of that cultural innuendo I was talking about earlier.

2. I just hope he knows/guesses what his "friend" thinks of him
Yes he does. He knows that he is a FRIEND. I'm no hater. Give me your contact information and I will pass it along to him.

3. If you treat your men as beneath you/to be used, why then do you wonder that they find it difficult to love long-term?
I do not feel in any way that he is beneath me, nor am I beneath him. When I say I know him like the bottom of my foot, that is because I know the good and the bad, the clean and the dirty. He is a wonderful friend, but a man who would slap his own sister, would surely rattle my skull one day. I have no desire to battle him about sending my children back to Nigeria with family that I don't know. His mother and father did a good job raising him, but I don't want their beliefs and customs to be the only thing my kids know. In addition, I would enter a marriage with a dental bill. His entire mouth needs an overhaul due to years of neglect. Would I send my children away on the hope that they return with all 32 teeth . I'm being a little facetious, but the truth is that there are many cultural differences that I know I wouldn't be able to handle. Knowing this means that I am wise enough to keep our friendship intact, and not let it be ruined by a doomed marriage. The fact is that I am happy and satisfied with my life. I've been through some things, learned a bit more, and at the present time I have no desire to add anyone to the mix. When I am ready to add someone, trust and believe it will be a black American man.

4. its only a matter of time that he'll wise up to you
I should hope so, since I've told him that he needs to find a Nigerian wife. He is the one slow poking around, but I have my suspicions as to why... I won't say what I think, because as Mrs.Chima has already noted, I need to get a head start .

I'm sorry but your post seems so misandrist (especially the part about your Nigerian friend ). Well, to each his own. I just hope he knows/guesses what his "friend" thinks of him afterall he is feeling accepted even by your family. If you treat your men as beneath you/to be used, why then do you wonder that they find it difficult to love long-term? If he is well educated as you say, its only a matter of time that he'll wise up to you. I can't shout

FlowerPower:

I see I have rubbed a sore spot. So let me poke around in that wound a little more.
1. Wife having a boyfriend?
Sir that is adultery and not accepted here. Women here also do not accept men having 2nd wives (unless you are with a specific religious group).

2. Breaking up and marrying a friend?
Sounds very familiar. In fact, I just saw this on a Nollywood movie.

3. "Nigerian men won't allow u go all your way and claim rights of a woman."
I will not comment on how you have mastered the English language. However, I agree with you 100%. Many (not all) Nigerian men will not allow ladies to claim their rights as a woman or simply a fellow human being. Thank you for agreeing with me.

4. Divorce.
Hmm. Since adultery is taken more seriously here, you are probably right. If you cheat on your spouse, you are likely to find yourself in the middle of a divorce. If you beat your wife, you WILL find yourself locked up and divorced. I have many Nigerian associates here, and divorce is quite popular amongst them.
COMMON Scenario:The husband has usually lied to his community about being a rich man in the US. When his wife comes over, she realizes that she was hoodwinked and bamboozled. However she wises up quickly, becomes a nurse, and drops the liar who is always telling her how worthless she is.

As for me, I have a very good friend who is well educated, 'God fearing', and liked by my family. We talk about work, life, family, etc. He even cooks for me at least 3 to 4 times a week (yes A Nigerian Man). However, I know him like the bottom of my foot. The moment I say "I do" is the moment I become a walking garbage collector. Oh it may take a few years, but all his sweet talk and friendship would slowly vanish and the closer to retirement he gets, the more, he would revert to his "roots". I am quite sure that his frustrations with life, would eventually end up as a slap to my face in order to compensate for his shortcomings. Of course not every Nigerian man is like this, but many things are culturally accepted in their mind and not seen as wrong. How many times have I heard one say that he is going to "deal with" some woman? That is not to say that men in the US do not abuse women, however you won't find other American people supporting them in their decision to do so. The fact is that I prefer spending my life with a black male who has been born and bred in the US. They understand the cultural innuendos and consequences of trying to oppress other people. I don't have to train them on hygiene related matters. I don't have to worry about if they secretly have a second wife waiting in the shadows. I respect Nigerian men as I respect other people from every walk of life, however I'm not fool enough to marry one. I'm sorry sir if you are now profusely bleeding. I'll try to give you some stitches when I'm finished sopping up my soup with this fufu- yes the one your Nigerian brother made for me.

This happens a lot it seems. I have a lot of my friends who live in the US who seem to look down on their men a lot. Why did it take you 2.5 years to figure out he was not your type that you go for initially? Haven't you been wasting your time? I suggest you break it up quickly so you can find your type of man & allow him find a woman who thinks the world of him. As a woman,I have found it is important to look up to your man. If you don't, find someone else, at least there are lots of men in the US/West

Lag camp is cool, can't complain. A bit over-crowded for my taste but that is expected I suppose

Sandra_hot from Lag camp trying to make a friend in Abj camp

Can't wait for the posting to know where I'm going!